


Burlesque (Censored)

by Kamari333



Series: Ebott is a Multiverse [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underlust, Arguments About Driving, Attempted Kidnapping, Bad Decisions, Bad living conditions, Casual Sex, Control Issues, Dancetale, Drinking, Drunk Singing, Empathy, Enemies to Friends, Extortion, Fights, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gambling, Heavy Drinking, Ignore Your Problems and they will Go Away (not), Insecurities, Kidnapping, Kissing, Lots of Kisses and Nuzzles ok?, M/M, Mud bath, Musical References, Mutual Pining, OT3, PTSD, PTSD Sans, Panic Attacks, Salt, Scars, Slow Burn, Smooching, Somebody is Affectionate, The Significance of Collars in Fell-verse culture, geeettttttt dunked on!!! (Undertale), it begins!!, spa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2018-12-03 23:13:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 120,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamari333/pseuds/Kamari333
Summary: In Ebott City, circumstances lead a few monsters who are so alike, but so different, to find each other.What do a teacher, a chiropractor, and a mechanic have in common? We're about to find out.





	1. The Cellphone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShadesofSilver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadesofSilver/gifts).



> This takes place at roughly the same time as [The Last Laugh](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11416155).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red (Underfell Sans) and Lust (Underlust Sans) are two ships passing in the night...  
> Or crashing... and then passing...

Of all the bars Red frequented in Ebott City, this was his favorite.

It was 3 in the morning, and Red was on his... his... well, there were two empty bottles of bourbon, but that didn't mean much. He had already seen the creepy waitress take away at least one that night, so there was no telling now how many he had gone through. If Red had to guess, it would be 3, not counting the half empty one he was currently nursing (or the 36 shots of vodka he had indulged in at the previous establishment, before it had closed at midnight -- it was a good thing he couldn't get alcohol poisoning, or Red might have killed himself a long time ago).

Not for the first time, Red's keen intellectual mind wondered why every one of his favorite hangouts was a bar run by a fire elemental, all named Grillby. It was quite the coincidence, especially considering how similar (and yet different) they all were, both in looks and temperament. For example, the Grillby's that Red had been kicked out of at midnight was owned and run by a royal-purple fire elemental, usually sporting an ungodly amount of expensive jewelry and something made of white fur, who, while soft spoken, was hot tempered and money grubbing; on the other hand, the fire elemental who was cleaning the bar to his right lit the room with a burnt-gold light, accented by the blue flames that served as the tips of his hair, as he swayed to the music in worn jeans and a fishnet shirt that displayed his muscular contours. From what little Red could remember of their interactions (usually by the time he entered this bar, he was already tipsy at best), this Grillby was a flirtatious social butterfly, vocal and earnest.

Not that most of the patrons could appreciate that, given that, like all the other Grillby's that Red had met, this one also spoke in the dialect of fire, a language that was rarely taught and even more rarely understood by anyone but other fire elementals. Which is probably why all the Grillby's he had met ( _even the foul-tempered, pretentious, purple asshole that he had known for years but still refused to ease up on his fucking tab because STARS FORBID he lose even a single gold piece!!!_ ), had a soft spot for Red: he was one of the few people (human or monster) that understood their native tongue. Even when he was so drunk he couldn't pronounce his own name, Red could still understand those crackles and hisses that almost everyone else required someone to translate.

Red slammed down the now empty bottle of booze, feeling his body spasm in the skeleton equivalent of a hiccup ( _yeah, he was a skeleton monster, big whoop, wanna fight about it?_ ), and blinked back the haze of multicolored dots from his vision. He was not ready to pass out yet. He still hadn't drowned every last one of his useless feelings. There were some left. He could feel them, waiting for him to let his guard down, behind the veil of intoxication. That was not acceptable. Feelings meant dreams, and he had no intention of dreaming tonight.

Red sank back into the cushions of his plush red chair, snatching up the bottle of mustard and drinking it straight as he waved for a refill. Most of the night he had been using his shot glass, mixing the alcohol with his most favorite of condiments and putting them back like the champ that he was. However, by this point, Red was almost blind drunk, and his hands were not steady enough to pour anything without spilling. That would have been a waste, so now he chugged both bottles, one after the other, as he let his now glazed eye lights wander to the stage.

That was something else that differentiated the establishments that shared the name 'Grillby's': the ambiance. Every one of them had a different setup, different decor, and of course different entertainment: The purple Grillby's was more like a casino, with slot machines and black jack tables (which Red took full advantage of when he was there, usually to the chagrin of both the house and the other players -- he almost always made a killing); there was a Grillby's that was more like a bar and grill, a simple but clean mom-and-pop style with warm wood floors and a gentle orange owner (Red rarely went there, it being on the other end of town from his shitty apartment); there was a Grillby's that was a karaoke bar, with a large dance area and a regular DJ (the music there was always the best, requested by the patrons for their ideal singing and dancing experience, and nobody complained when Red asked for something loud with heavy guitar that he could drunkenly air strum to); and of course, there was this place -- the strip club.

Red propped his head up with one arm on the table, the mustard bottle still in his teeth, his eye lights dim and unfocused as he stared at nothing. Yes, there were plenty of strippers in the joint, most of them wandering the tables looking for someone who wanted a lap dance, however, none of them bothered to come for him anymore. He had made his (lack of) intention clear the first time he had wandered into this place. Red was of the mind that his money was better spent on spirits: attention that was paid for was shallow and fake, and he was _so fucking tired_ of _fake_. He faked his smile at work, he faked sleeping at home, he faked being a functional member of society 5 days a week, and he faked being okay with the worthless piece of shit he had become.

Red faked _everything_.

Except being drunk, or high. Or angry. Oh, Red never had to fake being angry.

So usually when he came here, he ignored the ladies (and gentlemen) who wandered around in provocative attire, only ever giving the waitresses enough attention to get his refills. He just sat there, quietly growling at his life, floating on the din that was nothing but white noise in his compromised mind.

The waitress set the latest (and probably last -- even Red had his limits, and he was starting to think he was reaching them) bottle of booze in front of Red. Breaking the seal on the top with his thumb, he threw his head back to chug it.

Then he heard it -- the change in the music, the hush of the crowd.

Red smirked, letting his eye lights return to the stage, watching as the spotlights hit the figure now braced against the pole. It was another skeleton monster, dressed in tight leather pants, a black shirt with a cyan blue heart that didn't cover more than half his ribs, and a pale purple vest with a fluffy blue faux-fur lining. Red had seen him before. He always performed around the same time on sunday night, danced to one song, then all but disappeared.

Unlike most of the performers, who always danced to something seductive, this one only worked to something... not that. Once he had performed to a classical piano movement, another time it was to a fast-paced teen pop song, another time it was to the work of [a barber quartet singing about the joys of having sizable genitals](https://youtu.be/JP42y28GTqc) (which had Red laughing for the entirety of the performance). Red never knew what to expect from this one. Tonight, the song started with a light string opening that led into a steady rap song with vulgar (but in Red's opinion, evocative) lyrics. He knew this song, a work by a human group called 'Hollywood Undead' (the irony wasn't lost on him, but even Red had to admit that if humans were good for one thing, it was their music).

The monster swayed his pelvis seductively along to the music, using his hands to make suggestive gestures that had Red's uninhibited mind filling in the blanks. The way his lithe bones moved around that pole, up and down and side to side... Although Red had always enjoyed this monster's performances, tonight it was particularly hypnotic. He watched as the monster climbed up the pole seemingly effortlessly, and hung there by nothing but his femurs (had magic been involved, Red would have sensed it, and there was no magic). He swung himself around, showing off the flexibility of his spine and the length of his tongue (which glowed a lovely amethyst, just like his eye lights). Then he slid down the pole again and danced around it, flirting with the crowd which was now screaming and hooting and whistling like Red wanted to.

Red smirked. There was nothing fake about that guy. Red was an unusually observant person, and prided himself on his skill in reading people, honed over the years by need and necessity. So Red knew that every move he made, every flick of his tongue over his teeth, every flare of magic in his eye sockets... he meant it. Even his smile, with the way that it strained against something that looked like loneliness, wasn't fake. He was genuinely having fun, despite himself.

_And that was the most attractive thing in the whole goddamn world._

Red slammed the now empty bottle he had been drinking from down so hard it was a wonder he didn't smash it. _Nope, don't even go there._ Red waved over the waitress again. He was clearly not drunk enough, if he was able to think about that kind of thing.

The song ended, the crowd cheered, and the performer took a bow before leaving the stage, glistening with sweat that slid down the spines of his vertebrae and clung to the wings of his ilium provocatively. He wove his way through the crowd, that smug, seductive grin on his face, his thumbs hooked in his vest pockets, as he approached the bar. Red forced himself to look away, burying his face in his arms, considering the pros and cons of letting himself pass out right there.

Three more bottles of bourbon later, Red stood up. _Mission Complete. No more feels. Time to head home._ He shambled over to the exit, falling a few times like the giggling drunken mess that he was, before managing to make his way out into the pre-dawn darkness.

Red stumbled down the badly lit sidewalk, keeping close to the building walls for support. He had just reached the end of the building, his foot centimeters from where the sidewalk intersected with the back ally. The nearest street lamp flickered out, leaving him in near total darkness. Red briefly consider taking a shortcut, but given the fact that his magic tended to fritz when he was this drunk (and the last time he tried, he had ended up in the True Lab, _sans_ his pants (heh), he had long ago decided it wasn't worth the risk. He waited until his blurry vision became manageable, then set off to continue forward...

...and rammed himself into someone, knocking them both over.

Red growled, pushing himself away from the other person and rising to his feet. He stumbled back, gripping the corner of the building, his claws digging into the bricks. _Screw it._ He snapped his fingers, not giving a damn as he fell trough the void and onto what he dimly hoped was his own bed.

Red promptly rolled over into the musty unmade mattress, and let himself fall into his hard won dreamless sleep.

* * *

Lust leaned on the sink of the strip club bathroom, cleaning up the last of the residue from his quickie with Grillby. He tossed the paper towels now stained orange into the trash bin, and looked one last time in the mirror. Lust fixed his shirt and vest, making the subtle adjustments that made the difference between looking grunge and looking wrecked. He smiled, satisfied with the result. But then again, he had had so much practice it was more time consuming than troublesome.

Slipping out of the bathroom door, Lust made his way through the back and out the rear exit, gulping in the night air as he leaned against the outside of the cold metal door. The chill felt good against his bones. He was still sweating, although he wasn't sure if it was from exertion or the lingering heat of his fuck-buddy. Lust sighed, running one of his hands over his skull. _Probably both._

Lust had made a deal with Grillby a long time ago: twice a week, Lust performed to whatever song Grillby wanted (usually something ridiculous), and Lust not only got free drinks, but a percentage of the tip jar. The little rendezvous they peppered in over the course of the night were just icing on the cake, satisfying the burning need for both of them. Lust couldn't complain, really: he enjoyed dancing, he enjoyed drinking, and he certainly enjoyed Grillby... but over time, what had once left him feeling nothing but satisfaction now left him empty. It wasn't that the sex was bad (far from it! Lust was still feeling tremors!), but Lust knew that they were nothing but friends with benefits...

_And that just wasn't enough._

Lust wanted something more. He wanted someone he could call at all hours, someone who would look at him with more than just (heh) _lust_ in their eyes, someone who would hold his hand and laugh at his jokes, someone with whom he could enjoy a companionable silence as well as witty banter.

He wanted someone to come home to, someone who wanted to come home to him.

_He wanted what his brother had in Mettaton._

Lust ground his teeth, squeezing his eyes as tightly as his fists, as the hollow ache in his SOUL grew just a little bit bigger. He had hoped, once upon a time, that Grillby would have been that someone. But Grillby had made it clear that, while he valued Lust's friendship, he had no intention of settling down with him. And it _hurt_ , it hurt that this was how it had turned out. And even though he wanted something more, even though he knew it was stupid and foolish and unhealthy, Lust couldn't turn down what little Grillby was willing to give.

So he took it, and he let himself pretend, for just a little while.

Lust took another deep breath, gently pushing himself off the door and stretching his spine, making a cracking noise. _No more pretending tonight, though._ He fixed his usual smile on his face as he took the three concrete steps down into the darkened alleyway, heading for the street. He could have taken a shortcut, but his body was still overheated (an unfortunate side effect of sleeping with a fire elemental), and a walk through the spring night air would do wonders.

_Besides, he'd make any excuse to postpone going back to that cold, lonely, empty apartment._

The nearest street lamp flickered out, leaving him in near total darkness. Lust hooked his thumbs in his vest pockets, no hesitation in the movement of his feet. He had taken this path so many times, he could do it with his eyes closed. He knew it down to how many steps it took to get from the door to the street. A few more steps, and he knew he had stepped onto the sidewalk...

...just to be sent sprawling to the ground, knocked over by a larger figure.

Lust was stunned by the bulk that now lay over him, which smelled of mustard and alcohol. He heard a growl, but before he could say anything, the person had thrown themselves off of him. Next he heard a grating sound, like stone being ground against stone, accompanied by panting.

And then there was silence.

Lust lay there, confused and uncertain, until the streetlamp flickered back to life, showing Lust he was alone. He sat up, patting himself down to make sure he hadn't been hurt (it didn't feel like it, but given his stats, he didn't think it was a bad idea to double check). Satisfied that all was well, Lust braced his hands on the ground to push himself up.

The fingers of one hand brushed against something. Lust looked down. It was a cellphone. He picked it up, pushing off the ground in the same motion and bringing it up to his face for inspection. It was a flip phone, an older model like his own, which looked well cared for, if a little scuffed from frequent use. He opened it, finding it had half its battery, a few tiny shallow scratches in the screen, but otherwise intact.

It must have been dropped recently.

Lust looked around. There was nobody in sight. He sighed, pocketing the device before continuing on his walk. He'd find the owner somehow... later.

* * *

Lust eventually caved in, and went home, shortcutting from the park (which he had walked across town to wander in) to his dark apartment bedroom. He had promptly fallen into the tangled mess of unmade sheets on his bed and gone to sleep.

A sleep which he was rudely awakened from by a loud, edgy ringtone and a heavy vibration coming from his vest pocket.

Lust jumped a foot off the mattress, fumbling sleepily to turn off the skull shattering noise by answering the phone. He didn't remember setting that ringtone, and it was clearly a custom one...

 _Finally, got it._ Lust flipped the phone open, using his other hand to palm away moisture from his sockets. "hello..?"

"SANS!" Someone screamed from the other line, their voice rough and gravelly but oddly familiar. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE 5 MINUTES AGO!!"

Lust snapped to attention, his drowsiness forgotten. Nobody had called him by his name, his real name, (except Papyrus) in years. _Wait, that voice..._ "paps..? you sick or something? ya sound a bit hoarse..."

"AND _YOU_ SOUND LIKE YOU FINALLY WASHED YOUR FUCKING MOUTH OUT!" The voice snapped, sounding, if anything, more irritated. "NOW GET YOUR LAZY ASS OVER HERE THIS GODDAMN MIN-" The voice cut out, pausing.

"hello?" Lust asked, worried for a moment that the call had been dropped.

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT??" The voice came through, a bit more distant (away from the receiver, perhaps), but no less clear (it was a loud voice). It sounded like he was talking to someone, but Lust couldn't hear the other end of the conversation. "TALKING ON THE PHONE WITHOUT BEING ON THE DAMN THING!!! AND SAYING TWO THINGS AT ONCE?!?!"

Lust blinked, then snapped on a light. He examined the phone in his hand. It wasn't his. It was the one he had found last night on the curb. _Must have left it in my pocket last night._

"THEN WHO THE FUCK WAS I TALKING TO?!" The voice, which the more he listened to it, the more it reminded Lust of his brother, albeit crude and aggressive.

There was the sound of growling, then the receiver grinding against bone. Then a low, gruff voice, deeper than the last, spoke. "listen here, ya fuckin' thief, i don't know who ya think y'are, but ya messed with th' wrong fuckin' monster. i'mma find ya, and when i do, yer gonna wish ya weren't never born!"

Lust smiled. _Oh, baby, I love it when you talk dirty..._ He couldn't suppress a chuckle. "hey, that sounds like fun, but maybe i can just return your phone? this is your phone, right?"

There was a pause. "thought pickpockets had more balls 'n that..." the guy muttered.

Lust clicked his tongue behind his teeth. "that's rude. i didn't steal anything, sweetie, i _found_ it. on the sidewalk." A thought struck Lust, and he grinned wider. "...after a certain someone knocked me down. a someone who had been drinking?" There was another pause. _Bingo._ He pressed. "so is it safe to assume you know where grillby's stripclub is?"

"...meet me there tonight at 8. bring my damn phone."

"not a problem, darling," Lust purred. "when ya get there, tell the bartender you're looking for lust. if i'm not already there, he'll point me your way." 

Lust got a grunt in response, and then the line went dead. Lust chuckled again, closing the phone. It had been a long time since he had felt a rush like that. He would have to get to know this other Sans. He sounded like a fun guy.

And Lust needed a little fun.

* * *

The sound of a loud, obnoxious alarm blared through the gross apartment. Red groaned, pulling the coverless pillow over his head. He hated that goddamn thing right now. His head was killing him. That was a horrible side effect of his drink-himself-so-far-under-the-table-dreams-can't-follow method: the following morning was torture of the highest caliber.

Too bad the nightmares were worse.

Red threw the pillow with a snarl at the offensive, noisy object, knocking it off the table so hard it dislodged it's plug from the wall socket, turning it off instantly. Red squeezed his sockets shut, rolling out of bed and onto the floor. His fall was cushioned by the many socks strewn about. With another groan, Red crawled down the hall to the bathroom, shedding his cloths along the way until he was in nothing but socks and the leather collar he refused to take off. He then pulled himself into the tiny elongated bathtub. With a little blind fumbling, he got the cold water running and let himself lay there under the faucet.

Soon enough, the pounding began to ease up, and Red let out a sigh of not-so-exaggerated relief. He sat up, turning off the water and shaking his body, not only to throw off the moisture, but to get his bones to settle. He rubbed his teeth, thumbing the gold implant thoughtfully as he allowed his clouded thoughts to catch up with him.

_Pain: gone. Still wet? yeah. don't care. Plans? yeah: help boss set up his new tv at-_

_Shit, what time is it?!_

Red scrambled out of the tub, throwing off his now soaking wet socks (leaving them in the tub in a pile he should probably think about moving), and diving for his jacket. "shit shit shit shit shit." He pawed through his pockets for his phone to check the time. It wasn't there, _why wasn't it there?!_ "fuck..!" Red scooped a black sleeveless t-shirt off the floor, doing a quick sniff test before throwing it on. _He had lost his goddamn phone. Shit._ Boss was going to ride his ass if he found out. It was bad enough getting a lecture on responsibility from anyone, but it really stung when that lecture came from his little brother, _whom he had practically raised_. Red did not want to deal with that.

Slipping into his jacket, Red went about quickly sorting through the cloths on his floor, discarding a pair of shorts that looked alright but smelled just passed the point of being acceptable in leu of a pair with a brown stain on the left pantleg. Finding socks was easier, since there was an unopened package of new ones sitting on the couch. He tore it open and slipped them over his feet, then slid on his still tied sneakers.

Then he took a shortcut to his brother's apartment across town.

"-GET YOUR LAZY ASS OVER HERE THIS GODDAMN MIN-" Boss' voice, loud, and gravelly and full of undisguised irritation, met Red's ears as he came into the livingroom where his brother was standing, one hand on his hip, the other holding his cellphone to his head. The instant Boss saw him, though he cut off sharply, and a look of what Red could only describe as bewilderment took over his features. 

"did i interrupt somethin'?" Red asked, trying to keep the confusion and curiosity out of his voice, his hands resting lazily in his pockets as he leaned against the wall where he knew his brother could easily see him.

Boss looked between the phone and Red with suspicion and bewilderment and no small amount of irritation. Red raised an eyebrow ridge. "boss?"

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT??"

"doin' what?"

"TALKING ON THE PHONE WITHOUT BEING ON THE DAMN THING!!! AND SAYING TWO THINGS AT ONCE?!?!"

Red twitched. "boss, i don't got my phone..."

"THEN WHO THE FUCK WAS I TALKING TO?!"

Red balled his hands into fists, a growl rolling from his chest. _Son of a bitch. He'd been robbed._ Somehow that was worse. That meant somebody had gotten the drop on him, probably last night. It burned at his pride, his ego, that he could allow that to happen.

His growl only growing louder, Red closed the distance between him and his brother, snatching the phone from his hand with BLUE magic and slamming it a little harder than he meant to against the side of his skull. "listen here, ya fuckin' thief, i don't know who ya think y'are, but ya messed with th' wrong fuckin' monster. i'mma find ya, and when i do, yer gonna wish ya weren't never born!"

He was answered by a lilting chuckle. "hey, that sounds like fun, but maybe i can just return your phone? this is your phone, right?"

Red froze. That wasn't the response he had expected (assuming he got one at all). "thought pickpockets had more balls 'n that..." He muttered, more to himself than the unusual person on the other line.

There was a soft sound, somewhere between a click and a pop. "that's rude. i didn't steal anything, sweetie, i _found_ it. on the sidewalk...after a certain someone knocked me down. a someone who had been drinking?"

Red froze, his maxilla burning with shame. _So he had just been clumsy?_

"so is it safe to assume you know where grillby's stripclub is?" The voice asked, tapering off into something close to singing, but not quite.

Red ground his teeth. "...meet me there tonight at 8. bring my damn phone."

"not a problem, darling," The voice purred. "when ya get there, tell the bartender you're looking for lust. if i'm not already there, he'll point me your way." 

Red grunted in response, then pressed the end call button on the touch screen. _Fucking hell._ Red wasn't sure what threw him off more, the voice itself or the words it had spoken. Then, a much more jarring voice brought Red back to the present.

"YOU LOST YOUR PHONE?!?!"

Red cringed, handing back Boss's cellphone and mentally preparing himself for the loquacious reprimand that was already flowing freely from behind his brother's teeth.


	2. Average Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little look into Red and Lust's typical day... even though Lust has a not-so-typical encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this chapter to contain more... but it got long without actually getting anywhere.
> 
> Oh well...
> 
> This is what happens when I get distracted by RPs instead of actually writing: it takes me ages to finish, and its all filler. >.<

Red finished hooking up his brother's new smart TV, setting up and calibrating the system ( _stars forbid Boss learn to do it himself_ ), shoving the remote into the larger skeleton's hands with a few curt words of warning about how fragile it was, then took a hasty shortcut to work. It was a good thing Red could warp space-time, or he would have been late. Sometimes Boss was so selfish. Why couldn't he have done it last night, while his brother had been out?

Because Boss insisted that he be present to 'supervise', even though the whole point of Red having to be there in the first place was that _he knew jack shit about the damn thing._

Red growled, pushing his way out of the bushes, brushing leaves and twigs off his clothes as he approached the run down building he now spent five days of his week: Ebott High School.

 _Fuck my life:_ that was Red's mantra as he wove his way through the parking lot, ignoring the group of teenagers currently egging some poor shmuck's Mercedes (anyone dumb enough to leave a car that nice in a high school parking lot deserved what they got). Red got his teaching license years ago because he liked kids. He liked kids because they were innocent, lacked the conditioning for judgement, and lacked the experiences to make them lose interest in the world. He had been hoping to work with smaller kids, the kind who would have been wearing stripes, but the Board ( _in their infinite ignorance and glory_ ) had decided his physical appearance made him less than desirable. Red supposed he should have been grateful to be given a job at all, considering, and at first he was... But then he learned what human teenagers were like. _Fuck. My. Life:_ the mantra that had been his constant companion in the Underground followed him here, ever present and ever applicable.

"Hey, Red!!" One of the egg-chuckers called, voice filled with sadistic glee. "Wanna join us??"

Red leered at the kid out of the corner of his eye. It was a pale skinned human male that Red recognized, a senior named Kevin who had failed Red's general science class three times, and was now failing a fourth. Kevin rubbed Red the wrong way, in no small part because he was a disrespectful little shit. The use of Red's nickname might have been seen as impudence, except Red preferred it, personally uncomfortable being called 'Mr. Serif' (which he made clear to his students) and no longer used to anyone but his brother calling him 'Sans'. No, what Red found disrespectful about Kevin was how he completely squandered every opportunity Red (and every other teacher) gave him to improve himself. Red could understand a little laziness, but from what he could see, Kevin wasn't lazy, he just didn't give a damn. Which was a shame, because in every other respect, the kid was a human after Red's own heart, rebelious and defiant with a dash of good (not so clean) humor.

"get yer ass in the damn buildin', meatbait," Red snapped. "it ain't summer yet."

"Ooooh, no, the monster's gonna eat me!" Kevin snarked, making his equally unsavory friends laugh.

Red rolled his one crimson eye light, passing them by and catching a glimpse of the license plate. The car belonged to the PE teacher, who was a complete racist towards monsters. Even worse, the guy had the gall to pretend that he wasn't, going out of his way to act friendly to Red's face. However, Red had a particularly acute sense of hearing, so he knew that the moment he was out of the laughably small radius human's called 'earshot', the two-faced prick would mouth off to whatever human was closest. Not that Red needed to hear that to know that the guy's smile and kindness were fake as all hell.

_And fuck did Red hate fake._

Red decided he would conveniently forget the names and faces of the vandals. _What was that? I didn't see anything. Too bad. It was a nice car._

Inside the building, the AC had broken again. It would probably be a few days before anyone could get a repairman in to fix it. Red considered doing it himself (piece of shit was simple compared to some of the machines he had built from scratch), but given that that would be work he wouldn't get payed for (and that if he did, everyone would likely try to get him to fix everything else broken in this shithole), he decided against it. He couldn't figure out why it was that the school wouldn't just hire a _competent_ mechanic, but for some reason none of the professionals hired intermittently over the past few years Red had worked there had been skilled enough to fix it for good. That left many a day when it was too cold, and many a day where it was too hot, and while Red wasn't in danger from the elements by any means it still left him uncomfortable, and by extension, irritable.

_Just one more thing on the list of reasons why today was awful._

Red made his way down the currently empty hall, pealing off his leather jacket and hanging it over his shoulder one handed. He glared irritably at his classroom door, listening to the din inside made by his first period students, before kicking it open in just the right way to be loud, but not actually do any damage (it was an art form he had long ago perfected). The room was instantly silenced, and all eyes fell on him. He grinned, showing off his implant in the fifth most menacing way he knew how, as he sauntered over to his desk, hung his coat over the back of his chair, and sat down.

Red scanned the room with what he knew was an intimidating look, watching with no small amount of amusement as some of his students cringed and cowered. These were freshmen, and although they had spent first period with him all year, most of them didn't have the intuition to tell the difference between his moods. Not that it mattered, given that most of the time Red was genuinely pissed off, his smile plastered on his face for the sole purpose of not making the weak willed humans piss their pants, but even when his grin was genuine (for better or worse), he still saw no change in their response to it. Perhaps they could smell he was a sadist at heart. Perhaps they had heard warnings from the seniors, who _knew_ he was a sadist. Perhaps it was just cosmetic, his 'edgy' appearance a contributing factor to how he was perceived. Either way, his smile never eased the tension in their shoulders.

And Red was perfectly content with that.

"mornin', fleshbags," Red greeted them, keeping his low gravely voice even and just short of menacing, which, for Red, was downright amiable. "today, i'mma give ya an opportunity you'd be stupid t' pass up." Half the class let out a synchronized collective groan. They knew by now what Red had in mind when he said that -- pop quiz. Red felt the tug of a genuine vicious smile, and schooled his face into something more subdued as he opened his desk drawer. There was a soft red glow still pulsing along the inner wall, telling Red nobody had tampered with the contents since he left it. With a delicacy Red might have been ashamed for others to notice, he pulled out the wad of papers he had prepared last friday, and wiggled them next to his head, showcasing them for the class. "yer gonna get t' try fer a lil extra credit!"

A few of his students sat up a bit straighter, a spark of eagerness in their eyes. Of course, they weren't the ones that actually needed the credit. The ones who did need it looked less than enthusiastic. Red shrugged. He was one of the few teachers who wasn't afraid to fail their sorry asses. If they hadn't learned that by now, well, they would by this time next month.

With a flick of his wrist and a little BLUE magic, Red distributed the test out to the class (all from the comfort of his chair). He then sat the pack of papers down, on hand for the next period, and leaned back, propping his feet up on his desk. "drop 'm off on yer way out. i don't care what ya do after yer done, so long as ya keep yer mouths shut."

He then sat back and watched the carnage.

Red was uncharacteristically proud of the end-of-the-year-extra-credit tests he drew up, but this one had been his best yet. It consisted of 25 questions, each worth 4 points. The questions started off easy, touching on subjects that had been taught in previous years or in his classroom. However, after about 10 questions, the difficulty spiked, delving into topics usually reserved for college-level education. The last question, especially, was about quantum physics -- an essay question pertaining to superposition. Compared to the stuff Red was versed in, it was a simple question, but he knew that there was a low probability of it being answered correctly here. He watched with undisclosed eagerness, waiting for his students to catch on to what he had done.

The reactions he got were not disappointing.

In a way, it reminded Red of the Underground, where his brother would set up traps and puzzles to confuse and confound (and on many occasions, maim) trespassers. Red had watched him put his subordinates, the Canine Unit, through them on the first of every month, testing their effectiveness with live participants. The looks of shock, betrayal, and horror that he now saw on the faces of his students were not dissimilar to the looks that had crossed the monsters' faces all those years ago. It gave Red a kind of rush, one that he wondered if his brother had felt back then.

It was almost enough to put Red in a good mood.

Almost.

The best reaction came during third period. One of the students (whom would forever after be known as 'Nope Kid') shot to his feet, flipped his desk, and stormed out of the room, giving Red the finger on his way out. Red actually laughed, which surprised his other students, prompting him to hiss at them about keeping their eyes down.

He still had a reputation to keep.

* * *

Lust started off his morning with a nice, refreshing shower, reveling in the feeling of the water purifying his bones. For the thousandth time, he wondered how he had survived without a bathroom underground (the occasional sponge-bath was _not_ a substitute for a real shower). Sure, he was all bone, and didn't really require regular sanitary maintenance, but given he was regularly splattered with ectoplasm and alcohol, he hadn't realized what it meant to truly feel clean until he had been introduced to a human style bathroom, complete with detachable shower head (which was a glorious amenity that allowed him to take the edge off in the mornings).

Lust stepped out of the shower and patted himself down with a fluffy white towel, humming contentedly as the steam rose from his bones in response to contact with the significantly colder air (he liked his showers like he liked his men - _hot_ ). As he passed the mirror, he smiled at his reflection. He might not have the same defined cheekbones or strong jaw that his brother had inherited, but even so, Lust thought he was pretty good looking. His large optic canals were easily his most striking feature, allowing the glow of his eye lights to express themselves uninhibited.

_Or perhaps you're blind as well as a narcissist._

Shaking his head, Lust made his way back to his bedroom, pulling on his cloths with a speed derived from practice as opposed to effort. Shaking out his well used vest, he inspected it again for unsavory residue. Finding none (he really should be concerned about how good he was at keeping his clothes clean, even during amorous activities), he snatched up his fingerless gloves and took a shortcut to work.

Lust liked dancing (it was genuinely fun), but he didn't want to make it his livelihood. What he got from Grillby for his performances was entirely secondary. It wasn't that Lust thought it was a bad way to make a living (he knew most of the ones who worked there, and they were perfectly nice people), it was just that Lust wanted to keep the act something he did for fun, for stress relief. He didn't want there to be any pressure.

_He didn't want to rely on Grillby any more than he had to._

So Lust did the only other thing he was good at -- chiropractics. Even for a skeleton, Lust knew exceedingly too much about bones. And, thankfully, humans had plenty of them. So he was able to get a job at a local practice. At first, they only used him as a secretary, and sometimes as an example, showing the patients what was going to be done (Lust was used to being on display, so it hadn't bothered him too much), but he eventually got his own license and became a full member of the staff.

Today he had three scheduled appointments: one from an elderly male who was a little too chatty, a regular who requested him often enough for Lust to know him by name (Antony); a young male who had come in after apparently getting a bit too rough in some kind of sports-game, who had asked for Lust because he was a novelty; and a female who was just on the wrong side of enthusiastic about physical health, and got it into her head that a skeleton would be the healthiest choice for tending to her bones (Lust wasn't certain if he was amused or insulted by that -- after all, he had worked for his skill, he wasn't born with it, but at the same time, he had to admit it was pretty fitting). That was actually a busy day for Lust, since he didn't get that many clients (there were a few too many people still uncertain about having a monster treating them). Thanks to that, usually Lust was the one who tended to the walk-ins. There would always be a few people who wandered in, deciding their back or neck pain was worth getting looked over.

Lust was also the one who tended to monster patients. However, given the nature of monsters, and the fact that most preferred to take care of their aches and pains with the convenient healing properties of monster food, there hadn't been that many.

All in all, Lust had become the glorified secretary, who occasionally took on the more eccentric customers. Most of the time it wasn't that different than when he was a sentry back underground: he would sit at the front desk, head in his hands as he napped, only to be jerked awake by the sound of the bell that rang when the front door opened. It wasn't the worst job to have, but it certainly didn't leave him feeling fulfilled.

_He never accomplished anything. Not really._

Lust sauntered through the front door, his usual pleasant smile on his face as he heard the first ring of that bell. He slid into his desk chair and sighed, nuzzling into his arms, getting comfortable. Nobody was likely to come in for a few more hours, but that just meant he had time to get a nap in.

He had to be rested if he was going to have any fun tonight.

Hours passed. His clients- no the correct word was _patients_ \- came in with good moods, and left in better ones. Lust always made sure of that. A few knowing nods here, a few questions there, a little bit of flirting (just enough to make them feel wanted and appreciated, but not so much they thought he was interested)... Lust was a master of the social arts. He had to be, if he was going to keep his human cli- _patients_ coming back. Not that he enjoyed the idea of them being injured, but...

As he took his spot at the front desk, and filed away the last of the paperwork, Lust considered again becoming a masseuse instead. He'd get more regulars... He knew plenty about muscle tissue, and it wouldn't be hard to get a second license... But he could already picture the backlash he would get. There were too many humans who judged monsters by their looks. And too many monsters who didn't see the merit of such things other than as a precursor to... other activities... Activities which Lust had no desire to make his profession. It probably wasn't worth it, not when his job here payed the bills just fine.

Lust had settled into his preferred position for a nap, his arms folded in the surface of the desk, his head cradled in them, when he heard the bell ring again. He shot up, focusing acutely on his surroundings.

In walked a monster Lust had never seen before. Or, at least, he didn't think he had. At the same time, they were awfully familiar. Perhaps it was because they were a skeleton monster. He was short, only a few centimeters taller than Lust (and Lust knew he was on the small side, especially for a monster), dressed in a blue hoodie and baggy pants that got progressively more rumpled the closer they came to his sneakers. There was a world-weary smile on his face, which Lust might have mistaken for contentment if he hadn't been so practiced at reading people.

"hey, is this the place with the monster bone master?" The monster asked, chuckling softly.

Lust grinned wider. "why, yes, it is. would you like to make an appointment, or perhaps you'd prefer to be looked at now? we have an opening."

The monster took another step forward, his posture stiff, his gate awkward. "now, if you don't mind. i've already had to skip work to, uh, find this place..."

Lust nodded, understanding. He stood up, snatching a clipboard and a few papers up as he showed the other skeleton to a room not currently in use. "Fill these out, and I'll be right with you."

The other monster took the offered clipboard, and Lust went to inform his superiors about the walk-in.

* * *

The school day ended, leaving Red alone in his classroom. He stretched, yawning, looking at the pile of ungraded papers with a mixture of curiosity and annoyance. He carefully picked up the one left behind by Nope Kid, and gave him a +2 bonus for knowing how to make an exit. Then he started in on the rest of the tests, his pen racing with deftness and precision, marking down X's on incorrect answers with the finality of a death sentence. Not that Red saw it that way -- to him it was just his way of getting though the monotony as quickly as possible.

Sometimes Red had to stop, and grip the ridge of his nasal bone, closing his eyes to the idiocy of some of the answers. _Plants would suffocate and die in an oxygen-only environment, you fucking neanderthals. Geothermal energy doesn't have a damn thing to do with falling rocks. DO NOT MIX BLEECH WITH AMMONIA YOU DUMBASS THATS HOW YOU DIE FUCKING STARS HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!_

Taking a deep breath, Red forced himself to keep going. He trudged through the pile, his claws clicking on the wood of his desk on occasion, the only sound besides the scratch of his pen.

Red picked up the last test in the pile, looking the final page up and down with amusement. _Well, well, well..._ The last page was dedicated exclusively to the last question, implying that it would take a whole page to convey the correct answer. However, this kid had only written two words: _Schrodinger's Cat_.

Red gave them full credit, smirking. _Snarky little shit had potential._

Making the last mark on the page, Red dropped the tests in his warded drawer and stood up, kicking the drawer closed before making his way out of his classroom, jacket in hand.

He walked once again through the now empty hall, working mostly on autopilot as his thoughts drifted back to the usual maelstrom of complaints. It was still hot as all hell in the building, which he wanted to get out of as soon as possible. He considered taking a shortcut, but he didn't want that little power of his being caught on camera. The less everyone knew about what he could _really_ do, the better, after all. And one of the few things that did actually work in this shithole was the security system. That's why he had painstakingly scouted out all the best places use as a checkpoint.

Leaving the building, Red made for the nearest safe spot to shortcut from.

He needed to get his phone back.

And maybe have a drink.

Most definitely have a drink.

* * *

Lust returned, now wearing a pair of tight, elbow-length latex gloves, looking over his new cl- _patient, stars damn it he was a medical professional._ He took hold of the clipboard, skimming over the information. "so, your name is dance?"

"thats what people call me." Dance replied, shifting in his seat on the cushioned table-bed.

 _Thats what people call me._ How many times had Lust said that same line? He knew what it meant. _That's what everyone knows me by, now, but thats not really my name. But at this point, it might as well be, and I've accepted it._ Lust knew that bittersweet feeling, how it meant that the world knew you, and had defined you for who you were, but in doing so had left... parts of you behind. He shook his head, focusing on the rest of the information. "you hurt your lower back? may i ask how?"

Dance shrugged. "it's what happens when two tons of metal and rubber fall on top of ya."

"what?!?!"

Dance chuckled. "the jack broke while i was under a car, and, uh... well, my HP didn't fall, but i've had this somewhat distracting pain ever since... and my spine doesn't quite look right..." He shifted again, his movements stiff, and Lust realized it was because he was suppressing pain. "i didn't wanna make a big deal about it, but my bro insisted i go see someone... so, here i am."

Lust put the clipboard down, concerned now. "could you show me, please?"

Dance shifted uncomfortably again, his face only barely masking the internal debate. He must have made up his mind, because after a moment, he lifted up his hoodie to expose his spine.

Lust sucked in a breath, not taking his eyes off the bone that was very obviously knocked out of place. "thats... your disks have been misaligned... i'm surprised you managed to stand... lay back, easy..."

Dance did as he was bid, moving carefully so he was lying flat on the cushioned surface. "that bad, huh?" He asked, hiking his hoodie up and out of the way. His face was flushed a pale blue, although it was uncertain if it was from pain or embarrassment.

Lust got a stool, and stood on it to give him better reach over the surface that was elevated a bit too high for him to work comfortably. "yes. very bad. the spine is the core of the skeleton. any damage to it can result in irreparable consequences! how long has it been like this?" Lust carefully placed his hands on the disks above and below the misaligned ones, feeling for cracks or breaks he might have missed with his eyes. The soothing, tingling pressure of the other monster's magic enveloped his hands, and while the gloves muffled the sensation, they didn't (couldn't) block it out completely. Lust could feel the cool, tightly controlled energy. It was like dipping his hand into water right at the top of a waterfall, with all the rush of knowing just how much power it was about to unleash, even though at that very moment it was gentle and unassuming. He felt his own magic pulse inside him, wanting desperately to mingle and reciprocate, but he held it back. _This was work. This was not the time._

The blue dusting across Dance's face took on a deeper hue, one of his eye sockets squeezing shut. "uh... a week?" He clutched at his hoodie, pinning it to his chest. Lust understood -- he had his hands in a vulnerable and somewhat intimate area, and no amount of professionalism was going to change that fact. "this is, uh... this is gonna hurt, isn't it?"

"yep." Lust wasn't going to sugarcoat it. There was no point. After all, the guy had to already be in agony. He _was_ in agony -- now that Lust was in his magic, he could sense it, the tension, the way the current would surge and undulate, especially around the area in question. Oh yes, he was in pain, and he had been for days. Lust needed to act quickly, make it as easy on the poor guy as possible. "i can't give you anything for the pain either... so, you should probably bite something..." He looked up at Dance, grinning a little wickedly as he carefully adjusted his grip for what he was about to do. "that something can be me, if you'd like~!"

Dance stared at him, almost unseeingly, then threw his head back in a deep, melodic laugh. Lust smiled. _That really was a beautiful laugh._ Now was his chance, while the other wasn't thinking about it. With a quick motion, Lust wrenched the offending vertebrae back into their proper place, popping the disks back where they belong with an audible crack.

Dance's laughter cut off with a sharp intake of breath, sweat forming on his body as he quivered on the cusp of his tolerance, eye lights completely dark as a quiet, high pitched whine escaped him. His one hand balled into a fist in the fabric of his hoodie, while the other clawed at the cushions below him. Both hands shook. His chest heaved frantically, like he was hyperventilating. _Considering how much that must have hurt, he was taking it rather well._ Lust couldn't help being impressed.

After pausing the motion of his hands, letting his patient adjust, Lust began making soft, smoothing strokes up and down Dance's lower spine, probing to assure himself it was now properly aligned, and no cracks or fissures had developed. He knew that, at the same time, he was giving Dance another sensation to focus on, one that he hoped was a bit more pleasant, calming. He added to the effect, radiating analgesic intent with controlled pulses of his own magic. "there..." Lust murmured, trying to maintain a soothing tone despite his own nervousness. "the worst should be over. hows it feel now?"

Dance's breathing had slowed to something more even, his widened eye sockets drifting shut as he took slow, rhythmic breaths. Lust knew they weren't strictly necessary, likely he was doing them to calm himself further. "uh... hard to say at the moment, heh..." Dance's voice was softer than before, shaky, but still clear and lucid.

Lust nodded, pulling his hands away ( _reluctantly, oh so reluctantly_ ). "when you're ready, i want you to sit up, slowly, okay, sweetie?"

Dance nodded, letting the bottom of his hoodie fall back down to cover his midsection. After a few more moments, he pushed himself slowly upright. He sat back up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, his eye lights returning, only to blow up two sizes in abject wonder. With a bound, Dance sprung to the floor, twisting this way and that with elegance and practice.

Lust gulped. _Stars, he even moves like his namesake._

Dance grinned, tension almost completely gone from his face as he settled his hands in his hoodie pockets. "gotta hand it to ya, you sure know your stuff. i feel good as new."

"wonderful!" Lust returned, sighing with relief. He had been worried he might have been too rough, trying to make it fast. "now, if you feel any numbness or tingling, or anything usual, come right back, alright?"

"gotcha, doc," Dance replied, heading out the door. He stopped, looking over his shoulder. "uh, about the bill..?"

Lust chuckled, picking up the clipboard. "you have until the end of the month to pay. i'll be waiting~!" He winked playfully. It wasn't even a lie. He _would_ be waiting.

Dance smiled, pulling his hood up over his face as he left.

With a sigh, Lust pealed off his gloves and left the room, sinking back into his seat at the front desk, letting his face make direct contact with the unforgiving wooden surface. His hands gripped his pelvis, thumbs hooked over his ala and digging down painfully to try and press back the painful burn that was clawing at his body. _What was the point of last night if he was just going to get riled up again at the drop of a hat? Or, heh, hoodie?_ He groaned softly, willing his SOUL to obey.

It was a good thing he was going back to the club tonight.


	3. Smells Like LV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seems like Red's LV is a little bit... noticeable?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another setup chapter.
> 
> I really wanna get to the good stuff but... all things in good time i guess...

Red skipped his usual visit to the casino, and went straight to the strip club. He was a few hours early, and he knew that, but he wanted to be there first. He didn't want this 'Lust' fellow getting the drop on him again. _No, he was not going to think about how it was his own goddamn fault because he was a drunken mess the other night. Not. Thinking. About it._

Red stomped over to the counter, rapping his knuckles a few times on the bar top to get the bartender's attention. "lookin' fer some'ne called lust. he here?"

Grillby flickered a bit, taken by surprise. Red watched him, listening carefully to the pops and crackles of his flames. "No, he isn't here," those noises told him, mirroring the words the elemental spoke in common tongue a split second later.

Red smirked. "thats fine. let 'm know the guy he's lookin' fer is me. i'll be over there. and, uh, send me over my usual."

Grillby nodded slowly, turning around to arrange for what Red liked. It was plain on his face that he wasn't too happy about Red having business with this 'Lust'. Too bad it didn't matter: bastard had his phone, and he wasn't in a financial situation to replace it. So he had to get it back.

Red went and secured himself a table, a plush booth fit snugly in the corner, feeling that much more irritated. Why should he care what the nightlight thought? He shouldn't. It shouldn't bother him at all. _But it did._ He was used to that look, the look that showed fear for someone else, fear of what Red might do. He got it all the time, at work, on the street, in damn near every bar he'd ever drunk in. But... this was the first time he'd seen that look from one of the fire elementals. Perhaps some part of him had held onto the naive, misguided thought that Grillby would never lose faith in him, that any Grillby would have his back when it came down to it. Red laughed humorlessly at himself. _Yeah fucking right. Not even the purple asshole he'd known for over a decade had that kind of loyalty. Why would this guy, who Red had only met last year at the earliest?_

Red blinked, staring at nothing, as his mind, (which was for once sober) started to tackle to puzzle that his inebriated mind had continuously put off since coming to the surface. _Why were there so many Grillbys?!_ He went rapid fire through all the possible explanations, each one more ridiculous than the last. Given, however, the little things that piled up now that he thought about it, he eventually reached the conclusion that-

The waitress brought over a bottle of bourbon, a bottle of mustard, and a shot glass. Red's thought process stopped dead as he took hold of the bottles and mixed their contents in the glass, then downed it in one go. He sighed, grinning as he felt the burn in the back of his skull. He could think about things later.

Right now, all he wanted to do was drink.

* * *

Lust pushed his way into the club, the silence of the night broken the moment he opened the door and let the pounding of the hypnotic music beat into his bones. He smiled, breathing in deep the smell of liquor and sweat. Was it strange that he found it comforting? Perhaps. But Lust didn't care. He was hot and uncomfortable, and in all honesty all he wanted was an ice cold shower, then to snuggle up against someone warm and reassuring and go dead to the world.

_Fat chance of that happening._

Putting on his best smile, Lust crossed the room, leaning on the bar and rapping his knuckles on the hard surface to get the bartender's attention. "heya, grillbz. anyone come asking for lil old me tonight? i'm expecting someone."

Grillby turned around, looking at Lust curiously. His flames crackled, betraying his uncertainty which he tried to hide with a bright upbeat voice. "Yeah, actually. One of my other regulars. Not the most savory of characters, but he pays his tab..." The elemental pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a tube of mustard, putting them in front of Lust. "He'll probably be needing a refill, actually..." Grillby raised his hand to wave over the waitress.

Lust took the bottles, chuckling. "i'm heading there anyway, so i'll take them. just send my usual on over when ya can, okay sweetie?"

Grillby blinked, then lowered his hand, pops and hisses indicating his own amusement. "Thats him, over in the booth. Edgy looking fellow, can't miss him. But, Sans, be careful, okay? Something about him tells me he's not..." Grillby stopped, biting his lip, as though he wasn't certain of what he wanted to say.

Lust raised an eyebrow ridge, waiting a moment in case the bartender found the words, but he never did. "it'll be fine, grillbz. oh, and, uh, put all his stuff tonight on my tab." With that, Lust wove his way through the crowd, and slid into the booth...

...to come face to face with the most... edgy looking monster he had ever seen. Sharp teeth, like a shark's, with one gold implant on his left side, were spread into a grin that could far too easily be mistaken for something menacing. His single eye light, glowing a vivid red, flickering and shimmering like fire in his left socket, was unfocused, wandering as though following some invisible object dancing in the air above the table. He was covered in a thin layer of perpetual sweat, to which his thick leather jacket was probably a contributing factor. The tiny fissures that radiated outward into his maxilla from his false tooth rose and converged into a paper-thin crack that bisected his left socket, stretching up to the top of his skull where it joined what looked like a mass of scarred calluses, where bone had grown and healed over what must have been an alarmingly large hole. It was healed over well, the discoloration hardly noticeable, and the cracks and fissures were so small that it would take a trained eye to see them at all, but Lust made bones his business _and_ his pleasure, so he could discern easily at this distance that this monster had been hurt. And judging from the brief glimpse at his unguarded expression, in that tiniest moment before he registered that Lust was there, Lust could see that he had been hurt over and over, the best of him beaten and broken and scattered to the wind. What little he had left, he clung to tightly, with all his strength.

Lust envied that resolve.

The other monster blinked at him, recognition evident on his face. " _yer_ lust?" He asked incredulously, a slight slur hidden in the softer consonants.

Lust chuckled, setting the bottles down in the middle of the table. "that's what they call me, sweetie," he answered, smiling as he looked the monster over a second time. He did look familiar. Thats right, he was the heavy drinker with the hearty, inviting laugh. Lust had just never seen him up close before. What luck! "so what should i call you?"

"red," he muttered, snatching at the bottles and mixing the contents in a shot glass. "ev'ryone else does." The monster, Red, took his shot, the magic in his eye flaring briefly before settling back to its (presumably) default brightness. Perhaps it was Lust's imagination, but the color seemed to become just the slightest bit murkier. "ya got my phone?"

Lust nodded, pulling the device out and sliding it across the table. "right here, handsome."

Red snatched it up, flipping it open one handed as he pieced off the mustard still gripped in the other. His eye sockets narrowed, an irritated growl escaping through his clenched teeth. "'bout fuckin' time..." He snapped it shut again, stuffing it back into his pocket. He gave Lust one more look, then returned his focus back to what appeared to be his task of drinking himself stupid.

Lust was not deterred. He noticed, as the seconds ticked by, that the ambiance around Red (and by association, himself) shifted, replaced with the looming presence of what Lust could only describe as _power_ , a ferocity which Red seemed to shed without thinking. Lust's first instinct was to CHECK him, to allow his second sight to dive into his depths, but as that power grew stronger, Lust found himself relaxing. The warmth in his body seemed to reflexively recoil from it, the burning ache that had plagued him smothered by a dominating force. Lust shivered in delight, reveling in the sudden chill, the relief.

That wasn't intent to hurt. Lust knew that, viscerally, in a way he could only attribute to his uncharacteristically astute powers of observation. As much aggression as was seeping off of Red, there was not a hint of malice, of true desire to hurt anyone.

It was intent to _protect_.

Probably himself, if Lust was to take a guess.

The waitress brought over Lust's martini, which he accepted with a smile and a wink. He chose to ignore the way her eyes darted fearfully to Red before she retreated from the booth a little too quickly. He couldn't blame her. He was willing to bet most people were probably scared off by Red's aura, unable or unwilling to discern the benign subtleties underneath the seemingly dangerous vigor. Lust took it as a challenge. Holding the delicate glass gracefully in one hand, Lust crossed his legs and leaned on his other arm, elbow on the table, wrist under his chin, and returned his undivided attention back to what he hoped was his new friend. "so, you come here often then?"

Red put back another shot, then looked at Lust, almost like he was surprised he was still there. _Most people were scared off, all right_. "yeah. ev'ry night fer a while now." He seemed to mull something over in his head. "whadda ya want? i ain't the type t' leave a debt unpaid, so spit it out..."

Lust sipped his martini casually, trying to hide his surprise. Did the guy really think that he wanted a reward for returning his phone? He got the feeling that denying it would just put Red even more on edge, so he thought fast. "i'm gonna let ya off light, sweetie. keep me company for tonight, and we're even." He winked, which to his amusement brought a dusting of magic to Red's maxilla, tinting it pink. _Maybe he had a chance after all?_

"comp'ny i can do," Red growled, although there wasn't much bite behind it. He sounded more tired than angry if Lust was any judge. "but don't expect me t' do nothin' weird." His hands were starting to shake, ever so slightly. He put down the mustard and tipped back the bourbon straight from the bottle.

"just good clean fun," Lust purred, knowing what he was getting at.

Red slammed down the now empty bottle, bracing hard on the table as his skull swayed like he wasn't sure which was was up. The magic from his eye darkened even further, becoming even more muddy. "heh, yeah fuckin' right," Red grumbled, more to himself than Lust, before waving at the waitress casually.

Lust didn't take it personally. He _did_ want something more after all, and it was probably written all over his face, as much as he tried to hide it. He watched the waitress bring over a refill for both Red and himself, letting his second martini sit untouched on the table as he continued to work on his first. Red cracked open his new bottle, diving into it without preamble. A little of the liquid seeped between his teeth, dribbling down his mandible and hanging there like drool.

Lust swallowed, wondering if that was on purpose or some kind of unfair accident. _Stars, what would he look like, really drooling? With his head thrown back, a deep moan escaping his gaping mouth..._ Lust drained his cup, setting it down and reaching for the other as he forced his SOUL to calm down.

When Red finally set his bottle down, it was drained completely, and his eye light was a redish brown, like the color of old bricks. He snatched up the mustard and chugged it before slumping forward on the table, breathing hard. He'd probably held his breath for the whole thing, so that was understandable.

_It didn't help Lust any, though._

"so," Lust asked, proud that he was able to keep the desire out of his voice, "what do ya do for a living?"

"torment delinquentz," Red slurred, pulling himself back upright in his seat. "you?" He seemed to ask without thinking, right before a look of anxiety flashed across his face before settling back to irritation.

Lust smiled. "i'm a chiropractor. I spend _ala_ day handling bones," he said with a wink. Red scowled back at him.

"must be a ton o' work," Red muttered, wiping the bourbon off his mandible with his thumb and lapping it up with his tongue.

Lust grinned wider. "yeah, it can be a _skeleton_. but i'm _spine_ with it."

Red froze, his hand halfway down to the table from his face, his scowl only deepening. "punz? really?"

Lust licked the rim of his glass, grinning as much at the other's face as his own joke. "if you weren't so intent on _skull_ king, i bet you'd find them _humerus_."

Red snorted, his sockets seeming to narrow. "punz 're dumb az all hell. ya want funny? old fashioned jokes. 'spec'lly knock-knock jokes. them's th' shit." He leaned back, smirking smugly. "fer example: why'd th' temmie cross th' road?"

Lust chuckled. "i dunno! why?"

"t' get t' th' idiot's house."

Lust blinked, not quite getting the joke. It must have been funny to some degree, though, because Red was snickering like crazy. Lust relaxed into his seat. Red's laughter really was nice. He had a nice smile. Well, now he knew what to do to make him laugh. He should use his best material. "i know a great knock knock joke, actually."

"really? go ahead 'n tell it then."

"alright, but you have to start it," Lust said evenly, careful to keep his tone light and innocent. He had to play this just right, like he had with Toriel. Otherwise the impact would be ruined.

"fine. 'knock-knock.'" Red played along, crossing his arms. He still wore his smug grin.

"who's there?" Lust asked sweetly. He watched Red, expecting first a seize of his expression, the flash of expectation, then confusion, then realization at the true punchline of the joke, and finally amusement.

That was not what Lust saw.

Red grinned wider, a triumphant glint in his eye light, which for the briefest moment, flashed a brilliant crimson. "th' temmie."

Lust froze. Red was still and silent, his grin widening further, his implant glinting in the dim light. Lust stared at him, not quite certain what the joke was, and then- then he realized. Lust put his cup down, a grin breaking across his face so hard it almost hurt. "oh, _stars!_ i walked into that so hard i should have a concussion..!" He giggled, covering his mouth. "how- did you plan-?! how did-??"

Red snickered. "naw, didn't plan it, but ya sure made it easy t' pull off! i was plannin' on nudgin' that in somehow later, but, stars yer fuckin _face_!!" Red broke down into laughter, throwing his head back as he shook with it.

Lust broke down into laughter of his own, encouraged by the infectiousness of Red's. It was hearty, and full, and genuine in a way Lust was starved for. "okay, sweetie, round one goes to you! lemme try again?"

The waitress brought another round of drinks, and Red jumped on his like the last one. He got it down by a quarter before pulling away, grinning, his eye light even more muddied. He held the bottle diagonally next to his toothy grin, mild amusement plain on his face. "go ahead, sweetheart. give it a shot."

Lust tried not to laugh at the unintentional pun, and upon failing, tried to play it off as leftover mirth from earlier. He thought a moment, then rapped his knuckles on the table. "knock-knock."

"who's there?"

* * *

The knock-knock jokes went back and forth for hours.

Lust was a little rusty, but he thought he cracked them out rather well. Red certainly thought so, the way he was laughing. It made Lust's SOUL skip a beat, how he laughed, how even when his magic was muddied with inebriation, he would get that momentary spark of life, a brilliance that was certainly his namesake, for just a moment.

Lust couldn't remember when he had felt so at ease just talking to someone. Not only did Red's presence drive away the ever-present burn, but with each joke, each laugh that was torn from him, it was replaced with a different kind of warmth. A gentle warmth, that cradled him and soothed him from the inside out.

The evening ended all too soon, Red having an early start the next morning, and before he knew it, Lust was once again alone, in his cold, empty apartment.

Lust hugged his pillow to his chest, disgusted with himself. How pathetic was it, getting attached to a stranger overnight? How desperate for companionship was he, that the slightest commonality made him swoon? _Never mind how much they had in common, or how Red looked at him, or how stars damned wonderful it was to be around him._ It didn't matter in the least, because there would never be anything between them.

Lust balled up his fists, squeezing his eyes shut. His bones were already beginning to burn again, his magic surging insistently, demanding to be satisfied. But Lust wasn't in the mood, no matter what his body tried to say. He only curled up into a smaller ball, wrapping his legs around the pillow and snuggling closer, pretending he could smell leather and bourbon, preying for sleep.

At least in sleep, he had peace.

* * *

The knock-knock jokes went back and forth for hours.

Red had to admit, when he first saw Lust, he couldn't believe it. This pole dancer ( _no, wait, he said he was a chiropractor_ , although that didn't explain those shows) was the one who had ribbed him over the phone, who had taken his threats and laughed? He looked so delicate, so undamaged, it was hard to believe he was capable of looking Red in the eye, never mind holding a conversation with him. But he _was_ , and fucking hell it was actually _pleasant_!

Red hadn't had anyone to throw jokes around with in years. Yeah, sure, Toriel was fun every once and a while, but their schedule didn't quite sync up, what with her teaching night classes at the local community college. Red understood why, but it didn't make it easier. Knock-knock jokes just weren't as good over text message. To make matters worse, his only real friends (if you could call the guys he hung out with on saturdays to smoke with 'friends') were pun loving idiots, just like his brother. Sure, sometimes he could steer the conversation to more tasteful and enjoyable jokes, like he had tonight, but usually it wasn't worth the effort, because it would devolve into puns again in a matter of minutes.

So imagine his surprise when this punny little bastard not only dived into the jokes, but _kept at them_ , and not only that, but he was _good_. Red hadn't had a joke exchange like this since before he left the Underground! That's why it was a shame the night had to end, but end it did, because he had to work in the morning.

Work which came and went without much fanfare or incident, leaving Red the usual level of drained and irritable that evening. Not that he could simply slink back to the bar and hide in another bottle quite yet. _No, that would be too fucking easy._

As Red made his way down the sidewalk, which the humans conveniently steered clear of, he checked his phone again. His brother had left yet another message reminding him to run his stupid errand: _go pick up the car from the auto shop._ Red had been expecting it for a while (ever since Boss had gotten into that weight lifting competition with Undyne last week, which, long story short, resulted in an impressively damaged Lamborghini), and if he were being honest, having the impending headache that was picking the damn thing up hanging over his head had been driving him crazy. He was almost relieved that he could get it over with, except now he had to _deal_ with the headache in question.

Part of that headache was the fact that Red absolutely hated driving.

Red snapped his phone shut irritably, stuffing it back into the plush pocket of his jacket as he rounded the last corner and approached the unassuming auto-body shop. The garage door was pulled shut, obscuring his view of the inside where he knew the blood red vehicle was now waiting. With a low growl, Red pushed his way through the glass pane front door, setting off the obnoxious out-of-tune cowbell that served as the warning of a new customer.

Red had been in and out of this place with his brother's car on a semi-regular basis for years. Sometimes it was for a routine checkup, or an oil change, or some other equally reasonable and necessary maintenance that Red could care less about; other times it was for something superficial and ridiculous, like the paint job (Boss kept switching between red and black, and at one point a brilliant chrome gold), or new rims. As a result, the staff had become quite familiar with Red and Boss, a fact which brought Red no small amount of irritation.

_Although most things irritated Red._

The human at the front counter, a muscular male in a ragged cotton shirt with various stains and a crooked baseball cap, grinned knowingly down at him. "Ay, Red! How's it been?"

Red clicked his teeth, the joint of his jaw feeling tight. "fine," he answered stiffly, doing his best to make his voice pleasant, but he knew his efforts fell flat, his dark tones tinged with vexation. "here fer th' car. heard it was ready t' go."

The human kept his smile, although Red could see it was a bit more strained. "Sure is. We'll bring it out for you." He got up, heading back into the garage area. Red could hear his voice as he shouted, "Hey D., bring that baby out front. Red's here!"

Red twitched, going back outside, hands in his pockets, shoulders up like his hackles. This was another reason he hated having to pick up Boss's car.

The large garage door opened before long, and out came the car, driven by a monster Red wasn't pleased he was familiar with. The skeleton in the driver's seat brought the car to a stop, getting out with a graceful hop. Red looked him up and down, taking in the numerous grease stains on his blue jumpsuit which hung off him as though he were made for it. The smooth planes of his face were tense, his eye lights trained on Red as though he were a vicious beast someone had let loose from his cage. The animosity was so thick Red could taste it.

"red," the skeleton monster said, low voice impassive, eye lights focused. His smile strained as he stuffed his slender hands into the pockets that were situated around his hips.

"dance," Red returned, the blandness of his own voice broken by the undercurrent of hostility. He squared his shoulders, stubbornly reminding himself that assault was a crime now.

The two held each others gaze, eye lights unflinching, until Dance deliberately turned his head away, as if Red was neither a threat nor worth his time, and picked up a clipboard from the back seat of the car. He held it out, returning his steely, penetrating gaze back to Red. "she's all _red_ -y for ya. sign here, please," he said evenly.

Red cracked his neck, using the cathartic act as a distraction from the awful pun. He took the six steps forward needed to close the distance between them, taking hold of the pen tucked behind the clip and skimming over the paper. It was the standard receipt and release form, which he had signed in his brother's place any number of times. His eye fell on the itemized list of what had been done, complete with the charges for the services. _Fucking hell, are cars expensive!_ "$100 fer changin' the fuckin' break fluid? i coulda bought that shit fer 10 an' done it myself!"

" _fluid_ better do it yourself next time, then," Dance responded deadpan. "assuming you _can_."

Red growled. Red knew Boss wouldn't let him touch the inside of his car (for whatever reason, not like Boss practically twisted his arm making him do _every other fucking thing ever_ ). It didn't matter what argument Red used, if Boss couldn't do it himself, he wasn't letting Red do it to his car, and somehow this aggravating grease monkey knew it. With a quick, violent flick of his wrist, Red signed his name, suppressing his desire to string colorful expletives in a chain long enough to choke the infuriatingly smug bastard before him.

Dance, ever the professional, merely took back the pen and clipboard, dislodging the customer copy hidden underneath and handing it over. "thank you for your _pen_ tronage, please come back again."

Red snatched at the receipt, scowling so hard he worried he might crack something. Dance then stepped aside, letting Red climb into the driver's seat.

Red couldn't get out of there fast enough, speeding off into the stream of traffic with an equally thick stream of creative obscenities.

He needed a drink.

* * *

"Hey D., bring that baby out front. Red's here!"

Dance froze, his hand going still, hidden inside the rag he had been using to do some last minute cleaning on the hood of the sleek vermilion 2X17 Lamborghini Aventador convertible that had been left in his care. He looked down, admiring the shine, the way his reflection was only the slightest bit distorted in the curvature of the hood. It really was a beautiful machine. The owner had good taste.

...unlike the twat who always picked it up from the shop.

With a long suffering sigh, Dance resigned himself to letting the car go into the hands of the stubby gremlin he knew was undoubtedly waiting outside. He tossed the cleaning rag into a pile, running his greasy phalanges up and down the pants of his dull blue jumpsuit, adding another streak of stains to the fabric. He then snatched up the paperwork that he had snagged from the desk earlier preemptively and tossed it into the back seat before getting into the front.

Dance carefully turned the key in the ignition. The engine roared to life, purring with a heavy vibrato that only a machine (or a particularly fat cat) could hope to achieve. He hummed, a few octaves higher but still harmonically, appreciating the musical quality, before changing gears (both figuratively and literally), and driving the car slowly out of the now open garage door.

As he got out of the car, Dance could feel the piercing gaze of the other monster like a physical force, making his SOUL shiver. He could smell the death that seemed to linger on him, the violence, the dust, could feel the cloying taint of LV from even this distance. It set Dance on edge like nothing else. He _hated_ him, even if he didn't actually know more than his name. Dance turned, stubbornly, to look back at him, taking in the constant glow of his one eye light, the sheen of his perpetual sweat on his skull, the set of his shoulders under his thick black jacket.

_He was certainly intimidating._

The silence was oppressive, hanging thick between them, a manifestation of the animosity they shared for each other.

"red," Dance forced himself to say, stuffing his hands in his pockets to hide how he was clenching them into fists. He tried to keep his voice pleasant, to keep his smile up, if only for the sake of keeping his job, but he could hear how his antipathy translated to apathy.

"dance," Red returned, his voice dark with pugnacity he had sweetened with forced civility, the strain of which was evident in the set of his jaw and the pulse of his magic from his eye socket.

The two held each others gaze, eye lights unflinching. Dance broke the stare, turning his head away to see what he was doing as he picked up the clipboard from the back seat of the car. He let his movements be slow, deliberate, allowing himself to postpone the inevitable before holding it out to the other monster. He once more looked Red in the eyes, not wanting him to think Dance would be an easy target. "she's all _red_ -y for ya. sign here, please," he said, keeping his voice steady and light even though he wanted to growl.

Red cracked his neck, louring as he closed the distance between them. Dance had to force himself not to flinch as Red's large claws came uncomfortably close to his arm, taking hold of the pen tucked behind the clip. The crimson glow focused, shaking and twitching as the monster took in the contents of the page, before it flared with indignation. "$100 fer changin' the fuckin' break fluid? i coulda bought that shit fer 10 an' done it myself!"

_Thats why the other 90 is for services, not that that's enough to deal with your ass._

" _fluid_ better do it yourself next time, then," Dance responded with as little emotion as possible. "assuming you _can_ ," he couldn't help but add.

Red growled. It took every ounce of Dance's considerable self control not to smile. He knew damn well that if the overgrown gnome were capable of tending to the car, he would be doing it. But for whatever reason (likely incompetence -- if the bruiser had more than rudimentary literacy, Dance would eat his hat), he wasn't. Which is why the car was here in the first place. Dance watched with no small amount of satisfaction as Red grudgingly scribbled what was probably his name in a messy unintelligible scrawl. _Moron probably couldn't puzzle his way out of a paper bag, let alone fix a car._

Dance, doing his best to maintain his professionalism, took back the pen and clipboard and ripped out the customer copy hidden underneath. He held it out to Red, keeping his customer service face plastered on. "thank you for your _pen_ tronage, please come back again."

Red snatched at the receipt, a darkness creeping across his features that made his scowl look that much more menacing. Dance then stepped aside, letting Red climb into the driver's seat.

As the angry monster sped off, remnants of vulgarities left in his wake, Dance cracked his back.

He wondered if that nice chiropractor was having a better day than he was.

* * *

Red was on his third bottle, sitting at his usual table in the strip club. It was a little after nine, earlier than usual for him to be there, but not as early as the night before. He sighed, sliding his fingers along the smooth panes of the bottle, appreciating the texture. _Fuck Dance, fuck him, and fuck all those other judgmental sons of bitches who don't know two shits about anything but their own fucking-_

"knock-knock," a familiar voice range, punctuated by the gentle rapping of bone on wood.

Red looked up, his blurry vision coming into focus to see Lust sit down across from him, a genuine smile on his face.

Red couldn't help but return it. "who's there?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it looks like LOVE is a might stronger than LUST...
> 
> ...i wonder if that is going to be a recurring theme? maybe not idk i'm just along for the ride right now.
> 
> WOW do Dance and Red not like each other.
> 
> I get the feeling Dance has never actually met Boss...


	4. Little Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dance makes the first move, and Red might have had a little too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took way too long to write jfc

Lust remembered Red saying he came to the strip club every night. So Lust started coming every night. To his delight, Red was true to his word (and apparently his habits). Although the time of his arrival varied, Red was always sitting at his favorite table by a quarter passed midnight, booze in one hand and condiment in the other. If he wasn't already sitting there when Lust arrived, Lust killed time with Grillby, one way or another.

It wasn't long before spending the evenings with Red was routine, an inevitability which Lust looked forward to far more than he was willing to admit, even (if not especially) to himself. Lust spent his every waking hour away from Red thinking of what jokes he would throw out upon their next meeting. He had quickly found that, while Red could appreciate just about any joke (aside from a pun), the darker humor was what got his face to light up, his laugh to take on that deep, penetrating timbre. So did dirty jokes, for that matter. Lust was much better at dirty jokes.

Of course, that only made the weekends that much worse. Without work, Lust found himself at a loss for how to pass the time until sunset. He tried hanging out with his brother, but Papyrus was so busy with Mettaton and his own job that he could only fit Lust in on sundays, leaving Lust alone at the end of the week.

It was a month after the cellphone incident, on another horrible, empty saturday. Lust groaned softly, blinking in the dim light let in through the window of his apartment, creeping around the edges of the curtains. There had originally been blinds, but Lust had never been a fan of them (they made the room feel distant, cold), so he had replaced them with thick cotton curtains in a lovely shade of royal purple, a housewarming gift from his brother. As he sat up, rubbing his clavicle absently as if to wipe away the itching burn that had awoken him, Lust contemplated the fabric. _Maybe he should get another color. A deep blue, perhaps? Or maybe red..._

Lust shook his head, sliding gracefully out of bed. He was up, and he wasn't going to get back to sleep anytime soon, as much as he would have like to, so the next best thing was a blistering hot shower.

Then he would get the hell out of there. He didn't want to stay in this empty place any longer than he had to.

Night couldn't fall soon enough.

* * *

The music changed, the lights tinted to another color, and Dance wondered again why it was he kept coming back here: it wasn't like he could drink -- his brother would never let him hear the end of it if he came home sloshed again; he wasn't going onto the dance floor, no matter how Grillby might push, or how many of his favorite songs Blookie mixed; he didn't really want to talk to anyone, other than the bartender, who was busy working more often than not since the place was a popular dance club frequented by monsters and humans alike. The elemental in question waved at him from the other end of the bar, a crackling pop expressing his apology for being so busy following after a virgin mojito which he slid down the bar into Dance's hands. Dance gave him his best lazy smile, before curling around the drink ( _that was decidedly not alcoholic_ ) and draining it. _Stars, what he wouldn't give for a bottle of dandelion wine_. But no, he had promised no more drinking, and Dance never broke a promise if he could help it.

With a world weary sigh, Dance flicked the now empty glass away from him, leaning on the bar top, hiding his face in his arms. With his hood up, as it was, he was completely hidden from view, but he still felt exposed. The music called to him, called _for_ him, but he refused, as always, to answer.

He didn't want anyone hearing the music that played in his metaphorical (and literal) heart.

Two more pointless drinks and a song change later, and Dance was ready to go home and sleep the rest of the day away. He started to push himself back from the bar, but froze when he saw the briefest glimpse of lavender light. He turned his head, eyes searching the dense crowd of bodies. _Surely he was just imagining things, like every other time. No way that guy would be-_

But there he was. The chiropractor Dance hadn't been able to get out of his mind was right there, weaving his way elegantly though the throng of people, that seductive smile on his face, his thumbs hooked in the pockets of his vest. His eyes were glowing faintly with a purple light, pulsing in time with the beat of the music that his barely covered hips swayed along to as he moved.

 _...And he was headed this way! Quick, stop staring!!_ Dance turned back around, his spine going rigid as he focused all his attention on the half melted ice in his previously abandoned glass. He felt more than saw the other skeleton take a seat to his left, the gentle clack of bone settling on wood telling him that the other was leaning on the bar top on his elbows.

Grillby, seeing the new arrival, made his way over, popping and hissing a polite greeting, along with an inquiry as to what his newest patron would like. Dance was just about to translate when he noticed the brief flash of understanding in the chiropractor's eyes, the tug on his grin, the slight tilt of his skull, all of which indicated that a translation was unnecessary. "a dirty martini, shaken, straight up." The skeleton grinned wider, his eye lights flashing behind half lidded sockets as he shifted his position to lean closer to the elemental. "unless ya have a specialty ya wanna show me? i love trying new things... and being tried." He winked, watching with undisguised delight as the bartender red-shifted to a rosy pink color, his fire flaring a full inch higher than usual. The chiropractor laughed, light and silky and full, covering his teeth with a flare of his delicate fingers. Grillby, after composing himself, turned around and started to mix the requested drink.

The chiropractor twisted to the side, letting his eye lights roam the room before they locked on Dance, making unmistakable eye contact. His face brightened with recognition. Dance forced his grin to stay casual, his features to remain calm, even as he could hear his own internal screaming. "didn't think i'd see ya in a place like this, doc," he said, proud of how even he managed to keep his voice.

"didn't think i'd see you either, sweetie," Lust replied, his expression becoming thoughtful. "i'm sorry i missed you when ya came in to pay. i had a patient at the time... how's your back feel?"

Dance waved it off, shifting his weight to sit facing Lust properly. "never better. don't think i'll be coming _back_ in anytime soon."

Lust smiled, the seductive quality muting to reveal a frail happiness coupled with the tiniest shred of pride. "glad to hear it. thats one less weight on my _shoulders_."

Grillby set Lust's drink down in front of him. Lust grinned back at the bartender, winking his appreciation, before carefully scooping it up with one hand and taking a sip. Dance watched, transfixed by the artistry with which Lust moved, the delicate motions of his joints, the fluidity of his spine. Lust looked back at him out of the corner of his sockets, his gaze seeming to pierce through every mask Dance had to hide behind. His eyes were captivating, the ever present lavender glow barely visible behind the pristine white.

Dance felt the magic rise to his face, so he busied himself with his empty glass. "so, uh... you come here often?" He winced at the idiocy of the question. _What did that even matter? Why can't he make small talk for shit??_

Lust shook his head. "first time. i have time to kill on saturdays until 9, so i've been going around looking for _something_ to do, ya know?" Lust chuckled, his smile faltering for the briefest moment before returning. "so far, nothing seems to keep me occupied long..." He took another sip of his drink, those enchanting eye lights hazed over, staring unseeingly into the distance.

Dance swallowed, an idea forming in his mind. "hey grillbz, two orders of burg. and put it on my tab." He looked at Lust, his lazy smile pulled on full to hide his nervousness. "i know whenever somethings _eating_ me, i wind down with some good food and bad laughs..."

_Was that too much? Was he pushing too hard? Maybe he was crossing a line or being too forward or-_

"well you certainly have good _taste_ , then." Lust finished off his drink, looking at Dance over the rim of his glass, the light from his sockets shimmering and distorting in the reflection of the curved surface.

Dance felt his SOUL thrum, but he kept his casual posture and grin firmly in place. "i'd like to think so. just let me know if i start to _chew_ your ear off."

Lust chuckled, setting his glass down as Grillby brought over the food. "ya don't need to _bite_ back your words with me."

To Dance's delight, he didn't.

* * *

Lust couldn't believe his luck. Dance was an oasis in the desert, meeting him pun for pun with an ease that took him by surprise. That idle smile, those half lidded eyes sockets, the casual slouch of his spine, the way he angled his arm without thinking about it... Dance looked for all the world like he didn't have a single care, while still maintaining a certain poise wholly unique to him. Lust's eyes occasionally wandered to gaze at Dance's midriff, hidden completely by the vibrant azure hoodie he wore. He remembered the feeling of Dance's magic, how calming and yet exhilarating it had been, even with the gloves muting the sensation. Lust's hands would begin to itch with a gentle fire, and he would force himself to look back at Dance's face, reinforcing his focus as he tried to ignore the heat building in his marrow.

Thankfully, Dance didn't notice, or if he did, he chose to ignore it.

Lust was just about to respond to a pun Dance made when the alarm on his phone went off. He jumped, fishing it from his pocket and turning it off. "gotta hand it to ya, you sure know how to make time fly by..." He looked back up at Dance, a part of him hesitant to leave, even as the other part of him screamed that it was time to go see Red. "you think if i come back next week, i'll bump into you?"

Dance blinked at him, his eyes searching for something. "maybe, guess you'll have to come back to find out."

Lust grinned. "guess i will."

With one last wave goodbye, Lust left the dance club, thinking maybe the weekends wouldn't be so bad anymore.

* * *

Red slumped in his seat at the bar, a ridiculous grin on his face. The air tasted richer, like he was being smothered by the scent of sweat and alcohol and mustard and smoke. He snickered. _Nobody had any idea how stoned he was_ , and it was hilarious; his own personal joke that nobody got but him, a joke he indulged in every saturday, a joke that just got funnier each time. He hummed, enjoying his mustard with a fervor, the tang so much more intense and delightfully biting.

However, something was missing. Red couldn't quite place what it was, but lately, saturdays hadn't been quite as fun as they used to be. Yes, he still got delightfully high, and yes, he still got to enjoy a few hours freed from his dysphoria, but over the past month, there was a nagging sense that something was lacking in his experience, something that needed to be fixed. At first, he thought it was as simple as stronger kush, but that hadn't been it (he had smoked stronger shit than ever today, and significantly more of it to boot, but still he wasn't satisfied). Next he thought maybe more booze or mustard would do the trick, but given how much he had drunk already, that hadn't been it either.

Red hadn't been feeling quite himself in general, actually. Throughout the day he would suddenly feel listless, and while that wasn't something he usually worried about (he was a lazy guy), it was a different kind of listlessness than he was used to. He would see a flash of a certain color, or catch a whiff of a certain scent, or hear a phrase that he was certain had no significance to him whatsoever, and his SOUL would stop short, dropping him into brooding placidity. _It was absolutely maddening!!_ He couldn't for the life of him figure out why, either, only that he would feel a sudden ache, not unlike when he had overexerted himself and drained his magical reserves, that feeling of emptiness which words were not equipped to describe. It infuriated him.

And it left him wanting... something...

The only time he could truly escape from it was when-

"knock-knock," Lust's said in his usual cheerful voice, sitting down across from Red.

And suddenly, Red felt complete again, as though a switch had been flipped. He smirked, putting his bottle down. "who'z there?"

"lets scar."

"letz scar who?"

"well, if you insist!"

Red blinked, his muddled mind needing a moment to process the joke. Then it clicked, and he hid his face in his arms as he sniggered breathlessly. He could feel Lust's smug, triumphant grin, picturing the look on his face in his mind's eye, a look he saw every time the other monster managed to make him laugh. It should have irritated him, but on Lust it was... endearing? There was no malice behind it, only a sense of pride and accomplishment. It was a look that made Red want to laugh more.

But it wasn't the expression Red liked best on the other monster. However, Red knew how to get that most desired response. He pulled his head back up, blinking to focus his sight so he could see Lust as more than a blur. "a'ait. herez one i betcha never heard 'fore. what'd th' green grape say t' th' purple grape?"

Lust scratched delicately at his mandible, making a show about thinking it over. "i dunno. what?"

Red smirked. "' _breath,_ stupid!'"

Lust froze, then doubled over the table, pounding the top as he wheezed. Red snickered. _Thats how the lil shit should look, breathless and flustered and happy as all get out._ Red crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. He watched as Lust composed himself, straightening his posture as he clutched his teeth with one hand.

Lust looked back at Red, the faint shimmer of amethyst light behind the whites of his eye lights. "ya know, i don't think i've ever eaten a grape," Lust admitted.

"seriously?" Red picked the bottle of bourbon back up, knocking back a shot's worth. "y'ain't missin' much. tiny asz lil fruit ballz," he explained, feeling strangely talkative (probably due to the drugs and drink), holding his thumb and index fingers at the approximate distance from each other to indicate the size, "'bout _that_ big, growin' in a big asz bundle on a vine. went t' thiz thing called a 'vineyard' with my bro, few yearz back, where there waz a fuck ton o' th' lil fuckerz." Red clicked his teeth, thinking about it. "ya wanna hear somethin' stupid? 'parently at a 'wine tastin'' y'ain't actually supposed t' drink th' fuckin' wine!"

"what? really?" Lust leaned forward, clearly interested. "i heard about those. fancy gathering where ya drink wine and gush over how good it is, right? no offense, but ya don't seem the type to like that kinda thing, sweetie..."

"you'd be right 'bout that, sweetheart," Red slurred, taking another drink. "buncha pretentiouz prickz, nitpickin' over th' dumbest thingz. an' i swear t' asgore the fuckin' jackaszez couldn't even fuckin' taste the goddamn differenz 'tween one cup an' another!!" Red was on a roll now. "bosz an' i were there, right? he'z lookin' at th' glasz like th' damn thingz gonna bite 'm, an' i dunno if i wanna laugh 'r steal hiz drink an' knock it back myself, 'cuz all 'round th' room i hear these dumbasz humanz just repeatin' words like, _'robust,'_ an' _'flavorful,'_ an' _'body,'_ usu'lly in that fuckin' order..."

Red took another sip of his drink, looking at Lust briefly to gauge his reaction. Lust's maxilla was glowing a faint purple, his eyes focused and attentive. Red smirked. _That was a good look for him too. Real good._ "...an' all i wanna do iz get th' fuck outa there, but no, bosz _insistz_ we stay through th' whole fuckin' tastin', which lastz a good three hourz. bein' in shit company, i o' course start puttin' 'm away like it'z my usual friday night, _which ya know it iz_ , but after a few bottlez i start noticin' th' humanz givin' me theze strange lookz, right? i didn't really give a damn, but bosz got all fidgety an' shit, so i go ask one o' them butler lookin' typez what th' fuckz wrong with everyone. an' he tells me..."

Red paused to take another drink, a little riled up now that he was thinking about it. "he tellz me i waz s'ppose t' _spit in th' spit bucket!!_ i paid fuckin' money t' go t' thiz damn thing fer fuckz sake! humanz! fuckin' humanz!!"

Lust broke down into hysterical laughter, and Red joined him. "th' bright side iz, now bosz don't wanna never go back. small miraclez, am i right?"

Lust nodded, still snickering. "so, uh, is there something you've never had? something you've always wanted to try?"

Red though about it, spinning the bottle in his hand idly. "uh... ya know? ain't never hada vicecream 'fore. damn rabbit an' i never got along, so it wasn't worth th' trouble... never had _any_ kinda sweetz, now i'm thinkin' 'bout it, 'lesz ya count th' sweet wine grillbz had 'round th' holidayz..."

Lust stared at him, eye lights noticeably larger with surprise. "you're kidding me!"

Red snickered. "naw. any time i got ahold'a one o' them cinnamon bunniez, alwayz gave it t' bosz. worth more that way." A part of Red cringed at that, at how he had shared something he would usually consider intimate and personal. Sure, it had been commented in passing, but Red wasn't one to share parts of his personal life. He furrowed his brow, wondering why it was that he didn't particularly mind that he had shared it with Lust, because, now that he was thinking about it, he really didn't give two shits if Lust knew or not. And Red was acutely aware that that was very much unlike him.

It was probably the result of his intoxication. He would regret it in the morning. Probably.

Lust grinned at Red, his. voice pulling him back from his contemplations. "how about we go get ahold of some sweets right now, then?"

Red thought about it. A part of him said it was a dumb idea, and his money was better spent on booze, but it was muffled by the heady cushion that was the result of being stoned. "sure, why th' fuck not? letz go get some fuckin' sugar!" He pushed himself off the table, snickering at the surprised look on Lust's face. "what? didn't mean whatcha said, sweetheart?"

Lust flushed a pleasant purple, standing up himself. "just didn't expect you to be up for it."

Red laughed. " _fuck yeah sugar!!_ " He spun on his heals, giggling at the squeak his sneakers made as he did. _Squeaky sneakers are the shit._

Okay, maybe it was a good thing he was leaving the bar. He might be at his limit.

A waitress passed by with a few bottles of whiskey on a tray, right in arms reach.

_Fuck limits._

Red snatched the bottle and chugged it. When it was finally empty, he smashed the bottle on the floor, laughing as he stumbled out of the building, refusing to let the floor which decided to rock from one side to another make him fall over.

Lust followed after him, a warm source of reassurance at his back.

* * *

Lust watched with a mixture of amusement and concern as Red stumbled about, laughing like an idiot every few steps he took. After about half a block, Red stumbled, tripping over a crack in the sidewalk and falling facedown. Lust rushed over, taking hold of Red's arm and helping him upright.

Red shook with laughter, leaning his weight on Lust, gripping his radius with the opposite hand. "didja seez that shit? ground came outa nowhere..!"

Lust shook his head. He was relieved that Red was out of the bar. He wasn't sure if it was safe for him to drink any more, even with his insane level of tolerance. "i think it was you who came outa nowhere, sweetie..."

Red swatted Lust's hand, harder than strictly necessary, but not with any ill intent or malice. Lust was used it -- when Red got drunk enough, he would occasionally express his irritation with tiny acts of aggression; a swat on the arm, a punch to the shoulder, a kick to the shin. There was never any violent intent in it, never any desire to hurt. It was almost affectionate. _No, don't go seeing things that aren't there. He's just a naturally aggressive person when his inhibitions go down. It means nothing._ Lust smirked knowingly at Red, waiting patiently for him to find his footing before letting go.

Red continued to lean into Lust's side, hooking his arm over Lust's shoulder as though leaning on a banister or countertop. He snickering even as he tried to scowl. "fuck youz, i didn't do nothin'! fuckin' ground attacked me," he slurred, before he couldn't maintain the expression and went back to his amused grin, blinking as though to clear his vision.

Lust chuckled, keeping pace with Red as they continued to walk, finding comfort in the casual touch and close proximity. Even if it was only so Red didn't fall over again, Lust was going to enjoy every moment of it. The smooth leather of Red's jacket felt refreshingly cool against him, sliding back and forth against the exposed end of his clavicle. He _loved it. Stars, since when did he like leather so much?_ Lust wore it all the time, but nothing he owned was as soft or cool or smooth as Red's jacket seemed to be.

He refused to admit that it had more to do with who was wearing it than the fabric itself.

They wandered the streets for a good ten minutes, looking this way and that, listening for the telltale sound of the nicecream vendor. Lust was about to give up when Red started to quicken his pace, forcing Lust to keep up. Moments later, Lust caught the faintest whisper of a distant jingle, which became progressively louder. A few more blocks and Lust saw it, the nicecream guy, standing happily under a streetlamp, leaning on his cart with his usual smile.

However, the nicecream guy that Lust now saw wasn't the one he was familiar with. Unlike the one Lust knew, this one was dressed rather modestly, in a gold shirt and cobalt blue slacks. The bowtie, along with the hooks of his slacks, were accented with large gold stars. Most of him, especially the tufts of fur between his long ears, seemed to glitter in the night.

Red's steps slowed, coming to an abrupt halt as he looked the sparkly monster over. Lust remembered how Red said he and the rabbit hadn't gotten along. He carefully pulled away from Red and approached, thumbs hooked in his pockets. He felt a surge of Red's aura and intent against his back, warm and cold at the same time.

The rabbit monster smiled wider when Lust approached. "What can I get for you?"

Lust looked over the little pictures on the cart, marveling at the diverse selection. "how about two classic spacecreams?" he asked, pointing to the picture.

The rabbit monster beamed, looking over Lust's shoulder (presumably at Red, although Lust couldn't be certain without turning around) with a thoughtful, knowing expression. "Coming right up!" He reached inside, and after a moment, pulled out two perfectly scooped cones. The icecream glittered even more than the monster who offered it to Lust, the colors a swirl of soothing pinks and purples and blues, a romanticized evocation of the universe beyond the sky. Lust quickly pulled out the gold, trading with the monster. "thanks a lot, sweetie," he said as he turned to go back to Red.

"You're very welcome! And don't forget to read your message!!" The rabbit practically sung back, waving goodbye.

Lust chuckled. Sure enough, he could feel the texture of paper wrapped around the cones, no doubt hiding a positive, friendly message on the reverse side. He looked up at Red, feeling the intensity and pressure of his intent diminish as he got closer, as if he were controlling it just to keep Lust within its boundaries. Lust smiled at the thought, knowing he was probably just imagining it.

Lust offered Red one of the cones. Red reached to take it, his claws brushing against his fingers, sending a jolt of something warm and electric shooting up Lust's arm. He shivered, smiling at Red, who was inspecting the shimmering surface of the icecream with as much scrutiny as he could muster in his inebriated state. Lust took his old spot at Red's side, letting Red again use him to lean on as they continued to walk, watching him out of the corner of his eye sockets.

Red bit into the icecream. At first, his face showed nothing but the gentle buzz he had been expressing all night. Then his jaw shifted, broadening his grin as he swallowed. "holy shitz... fuck thiz iz almost az good az mustard!! heh heh, almost..." Red took another bite, making a soft noise of satisfaction.

Lust licked idly at the surface of his own icecream, savoring the sweetness and the chill. He spotted a bench, stationed against a fence that enclosed what looked like a park, and guided Red over so they could both sit down. Red kept leaning against Lust, which he was more than fine with. He enjoyed the tactile sensation of the smooth leather against his humerus, the close proximity that allowed him to bask in the scent of bourbon and mustard, of cigarette smoke and- _is that marijuana?! How has that gone unnoticed for so long?!_ Lust closed his eyes, still licking at the icecream, as he breathed in and out rhythmically. It didn't really matter to him (in fact it explained some things, like why Red was such a giggler on saturdays). He wondered if it was safe for Red to be drinking and smoking at the same time, being unfamiliar with the effects of the combination.

"da fuk?" Red mumbled, sounding like he was talking with his mouth full. Lust looked up. Red had chomped down on the cone, and gotten the paper message stuck on one of his teeth. He was delicately pulling it off, so he could inspect it. "whatz thiz supposez t' mean?"

Lust chuckled. "the nicecream guy leaves a positive message with the icecream. whats yours say?"

Red shifted his grip, popping the last bit of cone in his mouth and swallowing before reading the message aloud. " _'some'ne really carez 'bout ya.'_ bullshit." He tossed the paper away, letting it flutter in the air to settle on the ground at his feet.

Lust eyed his companion. "why is that?"

Red snickered, throwing his head back and looking up at the night sky. "cuz i'm a jackasz, an' ever'one knowz it..." he snickered more. "knock-knock."

Lust smiled, taking the change in subject. "who's there?"

"kaz."

"kaz who?" Lust asked, going back to his icecream, tearing his message off before sucking down the cone.

"naw, i likez th' trombone... betterz..." Red's response was sleepy, murmured into the air as though it were a secret. Then Lust felt more pressure on his side. He looked over, and there was Red, slumped into him, completely unconscious.

Lust felt that gentle warmth fill his SOUL, watching the monster beside him sink deeper into what looked like a comfortable rest. Red's features softened further, his body relaxing. The strange thing was, his intent to protect never diminished, remaining constant and strong, like a cocoon around them both. Lust sighed contentedly, shifting his weight to better accommodate Red's mass, careful not to disturb him. Satisfied that he could maintain the new position for an extended period of time, wanting to enjoy this for as long as possible, he looked down to read the message his icecream had left him.

_'Someone really cares about you, too.'_

Lust looked back at Red, reaching carefully to take hold of his hand. Red's claws curled reflexively around Lust's palm, and Lust felt that warmth grow stronger inside him. He would wake Red up later. For just a little longer, he would let himself pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spacecream guy ships it. XD


	5. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red wakes up with a hangover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished my first undertale fanfic so now I'm back for this one~!  
> Its been a while!! Hoi!!
> 
> Update: I have a job now, so my update turnover time is gonna be a matter of weeks, not days. And this one is a short, short short ass teaser chapter, just to let you all know i'm back to this again and you can expect stuff to come out for it

Red woke up with his usual sunday morning hangover, complete with the bittersweet peace of dreamless sleep paid for with his current skull-shattering agony. His phone hissed and screamed at him with it's usual alarm, the most obnoxious sound he could possibly find, which only exacerbated the pain, making his acoustic meatus ring in painful disjointed cacophony. He groaned, fumbling to reach over to where the awful noise was coming from, which seemed to be above his head. A part of his mind seemed to think that that was odd (wasn't his beside table more to the side, level with his face?), but his skull was ringing and the noise was overwhelming and Red just needed it to shut the hell up so he could-

He managed to switch the alarm off (somehow). _Thank fuck for muscle memory._ Sighing with relief, he snuggled back into the velvety cushion that was cradling his skull. He took a deep breath, holding it in before exhaling, like he was taking a hit, reveling in the comforting scent that permeated the air. The whole ambiance resulted in an atmosphere of serene safety, something that made him want to relax, to let his guard down, to drift back to sleep. The temptation was nearly too much, he was so comfortable. He didn't remember his cheep-ass boxspring or his shitty slum apartment ever being this comfortable, or warm, or smelling this nice...

It took Red all of five seconds to realize it.

_This was **not his room**._

Red snapped to attention all at once, sitting bolt upright. He looked around, trying to figure out where the hell he was, trying to remember how he got here. He didn't recognize this room at all, not that he could see much: the thick purple curtains were drawn tight, shielding the room from the harsh glare of the morning sun, keeping it in comforting shadow.

More worrisome, Red couldn't remember much of anything from last night after drunkenly agreeing to get ice-cream with Lust. A few fragmented images hung hazy behind the darkness of his memories; Lust talking to a rabbit (the image overladen and highlighted with jealousy, cloying and hot); something fuzzy and sparkling and cold that he had enjoyed, creamy sweetness that permeated his skull and clung resolutely to the roof of his mouth; a pleasant warmth at his side. These brief flickers were less than useless.

Red rubbed at his sockets, willing himself to stay calm and take stock of the situation: firstly, he wasn't dead (that was a plus); second, he wasn't injured (a hangover did not count); third, he wasn't tied up or chained down, he could move his limbs any way he liked, and he didn't seem to be tethered to the bed or the wall, either; fourth, he still had all of his clothes on, except his coat and shoes. So far, so good.

_Now lets see if he can find his shit._

Red started acclimating his vision to the low light. First he saw the little shelf over the spot where the headboard should be, a few shallow scratch marks now etched into the wood, proof that his phone had probably been put there for his convenience. He did spy, however, the actual bedside table, where there was a cup of what smelled like sea tea; which... was great for hangovers... He saw his coat hanging on the hook on the back of the closed door. He used a bit of BLUE magic to bring it over, ignoring how the effort made his skull ache and strain as though being split apart, and checked the pockets for all his other things. Everything seemed to be in perfect order. He even double-checked his dimension boxes. Nothing was missing.

Shucking his jacket back on, Red got to his feet, finding his shoes were right there on the floor for him to slip on. He snatched the sea tea, sniffing it carefully, then used the app on his phone to check for poison. When that came back negative, only then did he take a sip, sighing in relief as just that little bit seemed to chase away the worst of his headache.

Feeling better, he decided it was now time to investigate his new location. He crept over to the door, tapping the nob lightly, looking for a trap. When he found none, he tried the handle, surprised when it turned easily and let him open the door without resistance. The room beyond was streaked with shimmering sunbeams streaming from the open windows, the harsh brightness making him hiss in pain and clutch at his sockets. As he adjusted to the light, he saw a form frozen mid-step as it was crossing the room.

Lust was clutching a Grillby's bag, looking at Red with an almost owlish expression that only lasted for a fraction of a second (so brief Red almost missed it), before his easy seductive smile returned. "did you sleep alright, sweetie? you weren't lonely, were you~?"

Red looked around the room. Everything was covered in a fine layer of dust, as if nobody had used it in a while. The walls and table were bare. The air was cold despite the warmth coming in from the windows. Only the dust on the couch seemed to have been disturbed, a wadded up blanket and two pillows the most organic sign of actual usage to be seen.

"where are we??" Red asked, confused.

Lust continued his trek across the room, slow and deliberate, sitting down on the couch and setting the Grillby's bag on the coffee table. "well, you fell asleep on that park bench, and I couldn't wake you up, but I couldn't just leave ya out there, and I didn't know where ya lived..." Lust's confidence gradually seemed to wane, although Red was certain most monsters wouldn't notice the tiny details, the way Lust's smile strained, or his posture stiffened, or the crispness of his words slackened and faded. "so, I brought ya home! hope thats alright..?"

Red looked back at him, all of his thoughts grinding to a halt as he was forced to process what had happened. The hilarity of it all bubbled up, and Red started laughing. He noticed how all the tension in Lust's body eased, how he seemed to breath easier. Red had to take a moment and catch his own breath, giddy nervousness shaking off of him to be replaced with unexpected solace. "w-welp, ya didn't shank me, so i'd say that was alright! shit..!" He wheezed, leaning against the doorframe.

Lust smiled. "if you're interested, i got breakfast? its just a few burgers and some fries, but..?"

Red looked at Lust, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Lust had seen Red in a legitimately vulnerable state, and instead of taking advantage of that, Lust had: relocated him somewhere safe (giving up his bed in the process); gone out of his way to make Red comfortable, and even left something to assist him with his inevitable hangover (something Red never even bothered to do for himself); then, _then_ , Lust offers to _feed him?!_

Red felt the way his magic burned over his maxilla and nasal ridge. Who in their right mind could say no to a proposal like this? From a guy so genuinely charming? _Not to mention attractive?_ Lust would certainly be less than useless in a fight, but Red could handle that part. It was honestly flattering that Lust would think of him that way, that he would trust him, despite everything Red clearly was.

Maybe this was what had been missing all this time? It certainly felt like it.

Red couldn't stop the smirk that spread across his face as he crossed the room, settling next to Lust on the couch. He reached for the bag with deliberation, cutting the sealing wax that held the bag closed (the wax color indicating to him it was from the sparkly Grillby's that opened up three hours before dawn, just after nearly all the others seemed to close) and unfurled the top. He reached in, pulled out two of the burgers, and handed one to Lust. He made a show of unwrapping his carefully, folding up the colorfully decorated tin foil and putting it in his pocket to save for later, then dug into the greasy delight with gusto.

The meat was under-seasoned, there weren't any onions on it for that extra kick Red enjoyed, and it was decidedly lacking in mustard. Even so, Red had never enjoyed a burger more in his entire life.

Licking the grease clean from his claws, (not letting one drop escape, refusing to let anything even remotely hint at rejection), Red noticed with great amusement that Lust was watching him with pinprick eyelights, hyper-focused on the motions of his tongue. Red chuckled. "ain'tcha gonna eat, sweetheart?"

Lust jolted, before immediately digging into his own serving, his own face dusted lightly with a pale indigo light. _It was fucking adorable._ Red watched him finish off the meal, a feral satisfaction roiling in his SOUL.

Red leaned back, inspecting the room further. Despite being egregiously disused, it had a nice setup, with a state-of-the-art sound system and a wide screen TV that would have sparked a petty envy in Red had the situation not been what it now was. He located the remote and coaxed it over with BLUE magic, blowing the dust off the thing and flipping the TV on. "i'm guessin' ya don't got much t' do today? wanna waste time doin' nothin'... uh, together?"

Lust checked his phone. "i am meeting my brother for lunch today, but its a late lunch... so maybe until then?" Lust's voice almost managed to stay even, but Red could hear the slight upturn in pitch towards the end, the hopeful question.

"sounds good t' me. ain't doin' nothin' t'day." he leaned back further on the couch, proping his feet up on the coffee table. He pulled the bag to his lap (a deliberate move, taking control of the last of the food) and started piecing off the fries still inside.

Lust shifted closer to get a few for himself. Red took that opportunity to sling an arm around Lust's shoulders, casually (and protectively). Something about the act felt familiar, but Red didn't think much of it. It was going to become familiar anyway.

He wasn't oblivious to how quickly Lust got comfortable against his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> red's alarm is Mettaton NEO's theme (the one that sounds like a scream-o remix loop of that one rift from "Battle Against A True Hero"). this is more a statement that red doesn't like mettaton or undyne than that the music is bad. also. c'mon. that would make an annoying ass ringtone at 6 AM, never mind with a hangover
> 
> I read [ain't this the life](https://archiveofourown.org/series/896544) (rated E for smut) by [nilchance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilchance/pseuds/nilchance) and fell in love with one of their particular underfell headcanons. bonus points if you caught the reference~
> 
>  **ALSO**  
>  The amazing artist [TinyArtsy on Tumblr](https://tinyartsy.tumblr.com/) drew a comic of last night!!!  
> (its been a while I almost forgot to post it!!!)
> 
> GO LOOK AT IT ITS BEAUTIFUL~  
> Pages in order: [one](https://kamari333.tumblr.com/post/165614258849/tinyartsy-this-is-a-little-comic-based-on-a), [two](https://kamari333.tumblr.com/post/165631115294/tinyartsy-this-is-a-little-comic-based-on-a), [three](https://kamari333.tumblr.com/post/165655055244/tinyartsy-this-is-a-little-comic-based-on-a), [four](https://kamari333.tumblr.com/post/165661714284/tinyartsy-this-is-a-little-comic-based-on-a), [five](https://kamari333.tumblr.com/post/165730765779/tinyartsy-this-is-a-little-comic-based-on-a), [six](https://kamari333.tumblr.com/post/165770074159/tinyartsy-this-is-a-little-comic-based-on-a), [seven](https://kamari333.tumblr.com/post/165770155319/tinyartsy-this-is-a-little-comic-based-on-a)


	6. Heat of the Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lust makes bad life decisions until he makes a good one. Then Dance makes his choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this maybe went a bit faster than it should have, but i wanna get to the good shit and that cant happen until this does

After that morning, Lust couldn't help feeling like something had changed. Well, some things _did_ change (he got Red's phone number, and Red got his, so now they were texting during the week), but he felt like something was different. It was almost like a wall Red had always kept up between them had been knocked down. Lust liked it, a lot (probably more than he should have).

When Red had first stepped out of his room, Lust had been nervous. Would Red have been upset with him? Would he think Lust had overstepped his boundaries? Had there been an option that Lust overlooked? Then Red had laughed, and there was so much genuine relief and revelry in it Lust practically melted into the floor. The aura Red had been emitting since waking up changed from _defensive_ to _defending_ , welcoming Lust into its proximity and chasing away that prickling heat once again.

The way that it intensified after Lust mentioned food was almost cute, and Red's grin was downright lecherous as he ate. Lust couldn't even think of looking away until Red had said something, and he had prayed Red didn't take offense to his staring. He must not have, given how he slung his arm around him a few moments later (and it was utterly companionable, and Lust wasn't going to read anything into it, even if he did indulge and let himself enjoy the contact). Those next few hours, curled up in the crook of Red's arm, were probably the happiest Lust had had since coming to the surface and seeing the stars for the first time.

If his lunch that day had been with anyone else besides his brother, Lust would have most certainly called in a raincheck and stayed right where he was, cozy and content. But it was with his brother. And Lust would do anything for his brother. He pulled away regretfully ( _oh, so regretfully_ ) from Red, smiling sheepishly. "I've gotta go, sweetie. Maybe... we could do this again sometime?"

Red smirked down at him. "Hows about t'morrow? After work? Prob'ly cheeper t' just buy that beer at th' corner store 'n drink on th' couch. More comfortable too."

"Yeah~" Lust hummed, still pretty comfortable himself. He shook his head to clear it of all the _absolutely unacceptable mental imagery_ that had decided to invade his consciousness uninvited. It was unfair to keep thinking of Red like that. "Yeah, that sounds great! Tomorrow."

Then Red had insisted on exchanging numbers, and Lust had walked him out of the building, showing him the address and the room number so he could find it again tomorrow. They parted ways, and Lust headed down the street for the coffee shop his brother was to meet him at.

Lust was maybe a block away when the last lingering traces of Red's presence left him, and his whole body lit up like a bonfire. It hit him so suddenly it almost _hurt_ and his knees gave out from under him. Lust only just managed to control his fall so he slumped into the side of the nearest building, gasping for air he shouldn't even need in a vain attempt to cool himself down. He couldn't quite understand why he was so _hot and bothered_ , not when he had such regular (if infrequent) attention from Grillby. He felt his eyes water as his SOUL gave a particularly painful throb, and he sucked in a deep breath, preying that the pathetic noise he knows he just made wasn't loud enough to attract any attention as he stumbled into the nearest back alley to hide from passerbys while he pulled himself together.

Lust spent the next ten minutes doing his breathing exercises and some hasty yoga behind a dumpster, fighting down the unusually strong yearning that burned through his marrow for something (someone) he did not have. Once the heat was at a more manageable (if still uncomfortable) level, he shortcut somewhere closer to the coffee shop, knowing he would be late otherwise.

His brother's warm smile and exuberant greeting almost made everything better.

Almost.

Lust put on his best smile and pretended the single inconsequential thing his brother could not make better didn't matter.

* * *

The next day, Lust was almost surprised when Red showed up, a rather large cooler in hand and a smug grin on his face. Lust let him inside and Red promptly made himself comfortable on Lust's couch, setting the cooler in arms reach and pulling out a bottle of whisky that had been contaminated by Mustard preemptively. Lust snickered at the careful forethought to laziness and preference, and almost made a pun about it being too _whisky_ to mix the drinks normally before he stopped himself and asked about what they should watch.

Red shrugged, waving a dismissive claw and making it clear it was Lust's pick for the night. Lust ended up putting in a cute romantic comedy, half because he liked them, and half to see the look of disgust on Red's face. He figured it would start one of those macho rants about chick flicks that Lust had heard from one too many of his friends.

Instead, Red just slung his arm around Lust, took a shot from his bottle, and said, "10g says it ends with 'n airport confession."

Lust cackled. "you've seen this before haven't you??"

Red snickered. "nah, but ya seen one rom-con ya seen 'm all. kinda like horror movies that way. dont make 'm less entertainin' in th' moment tho."

Lust smiled, settling into his side. "guess thats true..."

They enjoyed the movie in silence after that. By the time it ended, Lust was too comfortable to get up, so he switched out the DVDs with BLUE magic. He decided if this was going to become a regular thing, he might want to invest in one of those online streaming subscriptions. Maybe enjoy some authentic _Netflix and Chill_. Lust shivered at the thought, his mind conjuring up some lovely imagery of Red underneath him... and on top of him... and behind him... He swallowed hard and hid a throaty groan with a cough, forcing the invasive thoughts back.

Red, ever the fucking gentleman, offered Lust a sip of his whisky. Lust took the bottle and threw back a shots worth, the duel burn of mustard and alcohol rather effective at distracting him from his imagination. Red cackled at the face he made from the taste, taking the bottle back and finishing it off.

Lust pointedly ignored the idea that they shared an indirect kiss. Because Red was his friend. And he was _not going to ruin this_.

Red drank maybe three or four bottles before the third movie even started, and was half way through a fourth when Lust started to drift, the inexplicable relief that Red's presence offered combining with the unexplainable comfort of his couch to make it neigh on impossible for Lust to stay awake.

He woke up the next morning to the blaring noise of Red's phone alarm, which Red fumbled to turn off and cursed vehemently.

Then they both left for work. And that became routine.

Better yet, Lust found out that Dance's lunch break was the same as his! And Dance actually wanted to have lunch together!! Lust had made _two_ friends! _Two!_

Lust was in absolute heaven. There was just one teeny, tiny problem.

The burning _would not go away._

Oh, sure, when Red was there, his presence doing whatever _wonderful_ magic it did was more than sufficient to smother the fire in his bones, but after they parted ways... Well, the backlash was just that much more painful every time. And now that they started hanging out at his apartment, Lust didn't have the chance to sneak a quickie with Grillby.

Lust kept telling himself to call a raincheck with Red, to say 'hey, lets go to grillby's! it'll be fun!' But every time he thought about it, he worried that Red might take it the wrong way. What if that broke whatever companionable (affectionate, wonderful, comforting) relationship they had? What if it made their evenings on the couch stop?

Lust didn't want that. His entire being rebelled against the idea of losing _this_ , whatever _this_ was. So he sucked it up, and thankfully Red's presence made everything better, made it easy to hide how much stress he was under, how that stress was gradually mounting.

At least from Red.

And that was enough until Saturday rolled around, the day Red spent with his other companions for most of the day. Lust would have just gone to Grillby then, but Grillby spent Saturdays alone (or in private company), which Lust wasn't privy to.

At least he still had Dance to keep him company, and distract him...

* * *

Dance was a little late getting to the club that saturday. The last month had been amazing (sort of). He and Lust met up at Grillby's, had lunch, threw puns at each other. Dance stopped staring longingly at the wine rack. He had something better to pay attention to.

It turned out, Dance's and Lust's lunch breaks synced up perfectly, so they met up during the week too! Lust got a few texts (something Dance had to fight hard not to get jealous over), but his company was refreshing and he was sweet enough to make sure Dance never felt ignored or neglected.

But lately, Dance noticed that Lust wasn't quite looking his best. Each week, the tension in his smile was that much tighter, the discoloration on the rims of his eye sockets that much darker.

As Dance approached the front bar, and saw Lust huddled over it, lacking his usual energy and shaking, Grillby hovering and crackling with concern, he finally had enough.

"lust?" Dance asked, pulling himself up onto the neighboring stool.

Lust let out a sharp breath, frontal bone braced against the bartop and sockets squeezed shut as sweat slicked down his skull and dripped onto the counter (the abundance of it the likely reason Grillby was hesitant to touch him). Dance could see him dig his thumbs into the exposed wings of his ilium. It looked painful. Lust grit his teeth, smiling tighter. "sorry, just... give me a second..."

Dance grabbed a napkin and dapped gently at Lust's skull. He nearly flinched back as he felt the immense heat radiating off his friend through the flimsy paper. "oh my god, you're _burning up_!" Dance gasped out loud, kicking himself inwardly for his outburst. _Yeah, state the obvious. He has a fever. Great observation skills, idiot._

"it's fine, just a dry spell," Lust tried to brush it off.

"i've felt car engines colder than you," Dance deadpanned, unable to stop himself. _Yeah, make a stupid joke about how sick he is. That'll go over well._

"it's normal," Lust insisted.

"it most certainly is _not_ ," Dance insisted right back. "lust, you have to be over a hundred degrees, that's _dangerous_."

"i'm not contagious," Lust argued, almost sounding insulted.

"i never said you were," Dance said hastily, trying to backpedal. _No, no, no, no, no, why can't he ever say the right thing?!_ "but you _are_ making yourself even more sick. look," Dance reached to put a hand on Lust's arm. When he saw Lust flinch back, he stopped, grin tightening as he pulled his traitorous hand away and stuffed it into the confines of his pockets. "lets get you home. i'll walk you there, help you settle in, get you some tea and crackers."

Lust smiled, some of the edges in his expression softening. "that's sweet, but, tea and crackers won't really help. like i said, it's just a dry spell. i'll get it taken care of-"

"I'll help you out," said someone pulling out of the crowd. It was a human male that Dance had seen around a few times, usually in monster-popular districts. His face was flushed, having working his way through one too many sam adams. "My car has tinted windows, unless you're a bathroom guy."

Dance raised a brow ridge, not quite understanding. _How is a bathroom or tinted windows going to help with a fever?_

Lust chuckled. "thanks, but..." he straightened his back, crossing his legs and flicking a few beads of sweat from his face, his grace and composure returning (although Dance noticed it wasn't to its former glory). "i've got it covered. sweet of you to offer, though."

The human smirked, teeth gleaming dully. "Hey, don't try to pretend you don't want it. Lust, right? I haven't seen you preform for a few weeks. Did that thing you had with the bartender fall through?"

Dance did not like anything this human was implying. _How did he know Lust? Perform what?_ Behind the bar, Grillby's fire smoldered in warning, crackling that the human ought to watch his next words carefully.

Lust kept completely composed, the only hint Dance could see that the human's words affected him at all showing through the way he started investigating the joints of his distal phalanges, avoiding direct eye contact. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"How about we have a private party and I can jog your memory?" The human came a little closer.

Dance tensed, something inside him straining against what little he had left of his better judgement. The very idea of this human alone with Lust made him damn near physically ill.

"sounds like fun, but I have a previous engagement. maybe some other time?" Lust hummed.

"Playing hard to get? That's fine." The human reached out, clearly going to grab Lust by the arm. "You won't be playing coy once you have my d-"

Dance grabbed the human's wrist, his eyelights guttering out. " **hands to yourself.** " Dance couldn't believe it. This human was seriously soliciting _that_ , right in front of all these people, in broad daylight. _How dare he?! How dare he even think he was worthy of licking Lust's boots clean, never mind that!_ "whatever you think you're selling, my friend here is clearly not interested."

The human looked at Dance. "Hey, can't you see I'm busy, pal? Go buy your own. Or what, you already pay for him? That why he's been missing his regular shifts? You keeping him this hot and bothered for kicks? Can't fault you for taste, seeing them all needy is a real-"

Dance didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late. One minute he was sitting there, listening to the human yammer on disrespectfully about his friend, the next the human was lying on the floor, howling in pain and clutching his nose, something viscous and red dribbling between his fingers. The hateful color; the smell of copper and iron; the hot, wet sensation on Dance's knuckles; suddenly Dance couldn't quite tell where he was or what he was seeing. The colder blues and purples of the bar were overlaid in his mind with the warmer orange and gold of the Judgement Hall, and the screams of the human were laced with a child's psychotic laughter. Dance looked down at his knuckles, seeing the hateful crimson hue staining his white bones and fingerless gloves, as if it had never been washed away to begin with.

Dance started shaking, hyperventilating, his SOUL pounding faster and faster and faster until he could hear that awful song ring angrily from the culmination of his being and his magic boil in time with the beat and _he was going to have to do it again and again **and again** -_

Lust grabbed Dance by the arm, his grip burning like a brand even through the fabric of Dance's hoodie, jolting him out of his panic attack with the suddenness of a lightning strike. Pulling him away from the still-screaming human and out the back exit, Lust's voice broke through the music and the static. "dance, what were ya thinking? he was just getting a little too handsy, ya didn't have to punch him!"

Dance let himself be led out of the bar, Grillby's outraged hisses following after him. He couldn't tell who was the object of the elemental's ire, but he knew whoever it was would be regretting it.

After a few blocks, Lust finally came to a halt at a park bench, sitting down and pulling Dance down to sit with him. Lust was panting again, and while the midday sun made it difficult to see it, Dance noticed that Lust's bones glowing dimly, sparkling with sweat and his lilac magic. Lust finally let go of Dance's arm, rubbing his face as he did what must have been breathing exercises.

Dance sat there in awkward silence, not sure what to say, or how to justify his actions. Whatever box he was supposed to have kept his impulse control in had invariably been tipped over and emptied clean out, and he never hated that about himself more than times like this.

Worse yet, he didn't feel the least bit guilty about it. And he knew he should have.

"you shouldn't have done that..." Lust finally said.

"i know, i know, violence is never the answer. i messed up, and i'm s-" Dance started rambling, pulling his hoodie up over his head in a vain attempt to hide from his shameful actions. _He had been an utter brute, right in front of Lust, of all people! He was never going to speak to him again and-_

"no!" Lust interrupted both his words and his thoughts. "well, yes, that too, but thats not what i meant. you shouldn't have done that, because... because he didn't say or do anything wrong."

Dance looked at his friend. Lust was looking at his lap, eyelights unfocused as he clutched at his patella as though he were afraid they would fall off if he let go. Dance clenched his fists, indignant fury welling inside him. "but he was! he was making you uncomfortable, and saying those disgusting things, and he nearly put his hands on you!"

"he was only trying to help me take care of my 'problem'," Lust argued weakly, letting out a dry, humorless chuckle. "my problem... my fucking problem is I can't go a few days without sex without killing myself. _nothing he said was a lie._ and if i were smarter, i would have taken him up on his offer and been done with it. but i'm not smart." Lust ground his teeth, his face slowly contorting into a look of frustration and self hatred. "i'm a foolish romantic who didn't want to stop hanging out with you just to have _one more **meaningless** fling_ in the back of some stranger's sedan!"

Dance swallowed a lump in his nonexistent throat. He had heard rumors that there were monsters who had sex like their lives depended on it, going out every night in search of partners. He'd figured they were just depraved, flighty creatures who didn't want to or were unable to make a real emotional connection. He'd seen plenty of monsters leave the bars together, bodies glowing in anticipation, without any trace of love between them.

Dance had never given them a second thought or consideration, his judgmental contempt dismissing their circumstances as irrelevant. Now, as he looked at Lust, who had been nothing but respectful, and funny, and sweet, a pillar of poise and grace the likes of which Dance had never seen; that same monster was now brought low by what every observation Dance had indicated a debilitating fever. Lust's cheeks were flushed, and his joints were starting to glow brighter. His chest heaved as sweat slicked down his skull and cervical vertebrae, his grip on his patella going slack as he leaned backwards, sockets shut tight as though in pain.

Dance hesitantly, gently, put his hand on Lust's exposed humerus. The bone was alarmingly hot, slick with sweat, and much softer than Dance thought bone had any right to be. Lust let out a heart wrenching mewl, leaning into the direct contact of bone on bone, magic on magic, something Dance realized they had never once had before.

Lust blushed with shame, clutching at his teeth, before starting to laugh. "oh, stars, i really messed this up... i should have been more careful..."

Dance felt his own face warm. _That sound had been amazing, heck, both sounds had been amazing. He loved Lust's voice, his laughter and... and whatever treat that had just been._ Dance ground his teeth. Was it fair to take advantage of this? He had wanted to get closer to Lust for weeks now, and while maybe _this_ just might be (or definitely, absolutely, emphatically was) a much bigger step than he ever anticipated in taking so soon, it certainly wasn't an unpleasant concept.

Dance really liked Lust.

And right now Lust needed help; help which Dance found he was more and more willing to provide as time went on.

"look, uh..." Dance swallowed down another nervous lump of magic, fighting back nausea he had no business feeling, ignoring the nervous sweat building up on his own skull. _He had one shot at this and if he fucked it up it would ruin his chances forever so he better not fuck it up. Do not fuck it up. Play it cool. Casual. He had this. He could do this._ "...me think do you like to help?"

...

It might have helped his chances if he had used actual fucking english, _god damn it you idiot can't you do anything right you broken loser?!?!_

Lust finally looked at him, eyelights hazy. "...are you... offering to..? to help me?"

Dance decided that, since his mouth didn't want to perform its intended function, he would answer with a nod.

"are you sure?"

Dance gave another nod.

Lust's eyelights shifted to hearts, and he straddled Dance's lap, clinging to him like a lifeline as he pressed their frontal bones together, an intimate gesture that made Dance's SOUL pulse and throb unfairly. "...thank you... now... your place or mine..?"

"yours. definitely yours." Dance answered immediately. The last thing he wanted was his little brother knowing the exact date and time he got his v-card revoked.

Lust snickered. "ok, fair enough." He stood up, taking Dance's hand. "come on, i know a shortcut."

Dance certainly hoped so. He was nervous enough as it was, he didn't think he could handle a long wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anybody else think Dance's reaction to blood was familiar?  
> Hmm?
> 
> And now the moment of truth: is the next chapter smut? Or do i skip over it?


	7. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lust has his hands full.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you guys probably noticed the slight change in the title yeah?  
> Thats because this chapter is supposed to contain smut. Badly written smut, but still smut.
> 
> However, due to certain circumstances, i cannot in all good conscience publish smut in this specific fic.
> 
> So there is now an UNCENSORED version which will contain all the smut
> 
> If you're 18+ and want to see that too, switch over to that version. If you're under 18, continue reading here knowing it is safe (ish) for your consumption. (theres still gonna be other mature themes, but most of it is pretty ok for older teenagers. its stuff i read about as a teen anyway)

Lust led Dance into the nearest dark alley, trying to keep his excitement under control. He couldn't believe his luck, his good fortune, that Dance not only wasn't repulsed by him, but was willing to help, to get so close! Lust knew he was awful for taking advantage of his friend like this, taking advantage of Dance's kindness and mercy, but by this point Lust was beyond caring. He had a chance at relief, at sating his disgusting hunger, and he would reach for it like the starving man he was.

As soon as they were shrouded in shadows, Lust pulled them both through his shortcut, preying his unstable and agitated magic didn't make for a bumpy right for Dance. Lust then pulled them both out of the alley and onto his street, right by his apartment. "its, uh, here? my place?" he said weakly, smiling and hoping Dance didn't question _how the ever-loving hell they got on the other side of town_ so quickly.

Dance, thankfully, didn't seem to notice or care much more than Lust did at the moment. "yeah. which apartment..?" Dance looked around idly, but squeezed Lust's hand tighter, as if for reassurance. He didn't seem disoriented, which was good. _Maybe Papyrus was just bad with shortcuts,_ Lust mused idly, remembering the first time he had taking his brother through one, only for him to get dizzy and a little sick.

Lust was hit with another wave of heat, which derailed his thought process and reminded him why they were here. He led Dance up to his apartment, fumbling for his keys in his phone (which he can't remember the last time he used), unlocking the door and letting them both inside. Lust took off his boots and set them by the door, indicating Dance could do the same with his sneakers.

Dance kicked off his shoes, then looked around the livingroom area, eyelights coming to focus on the couch. "so, we doing this on the couch..?"

"no-!" Lust said a little too quickly. Dance didn't flinch, but the way his eyelights snapped to Lust was indication enough that Lust had been a bit too desperate in his plea. Lust took a deep breath, looking at the couch, remembering how safe and comfortable he had been just the night before, curled up against Red's side, no though to this sort of thing at all as he dozed to the noise of the tv series they had started watching. Lust didn't want to taint the innocent memories on that couch with _this_ , not knowing what _this_ was even going to be. "i mean, no, it doesn't seem right to use the couch for that... what if i have guests? heh..." He swallowed back the lump in his nonexistent throat. "besides, the bed will be far more comfortable~"

Before Lust could lose his nerve, he took Dance's hand, and led him into his bedroom.

* * *

*

* * *

Lust snuggled deeper into Dance's hoodie, purring contentedly. Dance had passed out after the second round, and Lust himself was too worn down to want to move. They were tangled together, utter messes, their magic long evaporated, leaving behind only a few discolored stains on their bones. Lust still felt sticky and in need of a bath, but he had to admit it was convenient.

Dance made a soft noise, pulling Lust closer, and Lust melted a little further into his arms. He had to admit, that had been... well, not the best sex of his life, but damn near close. Dance had been awkward, and uncertain, and hesitant, and he took a while to find his rhythm. But it had been his _first time_ and he had _still_ left Lust a puddle of contentment.

_Just imagining what he would be like with a bit of practice had Lust's SOUL weeping for the joy of it._

Dance made another noise, blinking his sockets open to look down at Lust with shining heart-shaped eyelights. "hey..." he hummed, running his hand over Lust's skull, his teeth to Lust's frontal bone.

"hey yourself, handsome," Lust purred, clinging tighter. He didn't want this to end just yet. He wanted to pretend a little longer.

"so..." Dance began.

Lust braced himself for it. _He's going to say its a one-time-thing, or that it wasn't his thing, or that he didn't want to see him anymore, or-_

"can i use your shower?" Dance asked.

Lust giggled. "yeah." He pulled away, stretching. "i'll find ya some clothes to borrow too. i think i have something that should fit~" he hummed, crawling off the bed. "bathrooms right there," he pointed.

Dance got up, smiling at Lust, before going in.

Lust felt his SOUL flutter. Then he shook himself out of his stupor and dug into his closet for his lazy day clothes, the big baggy t-shirts and sweatpants he was always too overheated to wear, despite how sinfully comfortable they were. As he pulled out one such outfit, he wondered if maybe he could get away with them when Red came over.

Would that be too weird?

He decided to try it out tonight, and pulled out an outfit for himself as well.

* * *

Dance stepped out of the shower to find Lust had left him some clothes on the sink. He pulled them on, grinning as he felt the soft fabric fall over his now freshly cleaned bones. He came out to find Lust had folded his clothes neatly and set them in a plastic bag, ready for inconspicuous transport. Guess Dance wasn't going to experience anything like the 'walk of shame'.

Not that anything they had just done was shameful. Not in the least. He didn't regret a moment of it.

Did this mean they were dating? Were they datemates now? _Holy shit, he had a boyfriend, he wasn't single anymore._

Dance couldn't stop smiling if his life depended on it.

Lust himself looked over his shoulder from where he was doubled over his mattress, having just finished changing the sheets on his bed, the old ones now a crusty wad of fabric and dried magic on the floor. "do the pants fit alright?" he asked, standing back up.

"yup. and pretty well too." Dance tugged lightly on the pantlegs. "super comfortable too."

Lust sighed in relief. "thank goodness. i was worried you wouldn't have a _leg_ to _stand_ on."

"i'll be putting my best _foot_ forward today," Dance replied, snickering.

Lust picked up a pile of clean clothes from the bedside table. "now its my turn for a shower~ you can make yourself at home, and afterwards we can grab lunch..?"

Dance nodded. "sounds like a plan."

Lust beamed at him, his smile like sunlight, before slipping into the bathroom.

Dance went out and flopped on the couch. He figured Lust wouldn't mind if he watched some tv while he waited.

He was maybe ten minutes into the show he picked when there was a knock on the door. Dance paused the playback and got up, going to answer it. It might be a package or something, and he didn't want Lust missing something when he could help it.

He opened the door, and froze.

* * *

Red stood up from his seat on Slim's couch, growling irritably. He dropped the joint he had been trying to enjoy onto the table. He was a bit annoyed with himself. He loved just relaxing and letting go, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't relax. Something felt wrong. By now, he was pretty sure what exactly that 'wrongness' was. He was worried about Lust.

"whats eatin' ya?" Slim asked from where he was draped over Stretch's lap, enjoying getting his skull pet. Stretch looked equally confused, but that didn't stop his hands roaming over Slim's skull and back.

"imma cut out early. got somethin' t' do." Red rumbled.

"if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were cheating on us," Stretch teased, making Slim laugh.

"that might be a concern if red wasn't such a grump," Slim hummed.

"oh, fuck right th' hell off, th' both o' ya. maybe i'd just rather go chill with my own datemate than play third wheel t' you two." red growled.

"you got a datemate?!" Stretch perked up. "who is it?? when are ya gonna introduce us??"

"they vape?" Slim asked.

"yeah, i got one. i'll introduce ya later. after i find 'm th' perfect collar." Red smirked, stuffing his claws in his pockets. "want 'm nice 'n pretty when i finally take 'm out fer a night on th' town."

"woah, collar? yer serious 'bout this guy," Slim mused, sitting up.

"damn straight." Red replied. "best damn thing t' happen t' me since th' surface."

"now i feel insulted," Stretch teased.

"yeah, yeah, fuck you too," Red huffed, heading for the door. "thanks fer th' grass, great batch t'day. just ain't as great as what i'mma go see."

"what a romantic," Slim snickered, earning him a middle finger before Red shut the door behind him and darted down the back alley, shortcutting right to the alley by Lust's apartment.

Red brushed himself off, rolling his shoulders as he climbed the stairs up to Lust's apartment door. He probably should have called ahead (he was pretty early today, and it might be a bit presumptuous to assume Lust had nothing better to do than wait for him to show up), but Red was itching to get his hands on Lust. He'd had this strange itch in the back of his mind that something was wrong all month, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He just needed to know Lust was okay.

And maybe he missed him. Maybe seeing Stretch and Slim get high and cuddle and pass their smoke back and forth like the disgusting shameless horny pricks they were made Red miss how Lust fit perfectly in the crook of his arm.

_Holy shit, he was just as bad as they were._

Red took a deep breath, knocking on the door, two quick raps, just like always. He waited for the answer to the unspoken question, but it never came.

Instead, the door opened and he saw _Dance._

Red snarled, bristling at the very idea of this judgmental asshole anywhere near Lust, never mind in his apartment, which was supposed to be safe. "what th' fuck 'r ya doin' here?!" he demanded.

Dance grinned up at him, eyelights narrowed and piercing. "none of your business. no solicitors, so go sell your snake oil somewhere else." Dance went to close the door.

Red put his foot in the way. "what th' fuck 'r ya doin' in lust's apartment, grease monkey? what, turned t' fixin' refrigerators now?"

Dance froze, eyelights flickering in recognition. "how do _you_ know lust?"

"not that its any o' yer business," Red growled low, smirking wider as he let his eyelight burn with every bit of LV he had, making the seriousness of the situation as clear as crystal. "but he's-"

"dance? who's at the door?" Lust's voice pierced into Red's skull. He immediately relaxed, hearing no distress or pain in his voice.

"it's me," Red called back.

"red!!" Lust sounded pleasantly surprised (and Red soaked in the look of shock on Dance's face with no small amount of satisfaction). Lust skipped over, opening the door wider and beaming at him. Lust was wearing a baggy white shirt and sweatpants, the thin fabric clinging to his still damp bones. He must have just showered, steam still wafting off his skull like a halo. "you're early!"

"early??" Dance parroted, moving to stand firmly between Lust and Red (as if Red were the threat here).

Red grinned, ignoring the inconsequential nat. Lust was safe, that was the important thing. "got bored. 's been a real problem. nothin' seems all that interestin' when yer not around. ya stealin' my fun, sweetheart?"

"only because you've been stealing mine~" Lust purred. "come on in! you can join us for lunch! red, this is dance."

"you _know_ this brute??" Dance gasped, looking pale.

Lust quirked a brow. "brute? no, red's-"

"his datemate," Red finished, pushing his way into the apartment and kicking the door shut behind him. He circled around Dance, putting his arm around Lust's shoulders. "not that it's yer fuckin' business. th' hell ya doin' sniffin' 'round my territory, huh?"

"red-!" Lust breathed, blushing, his eyelights blown out wide into pulsing hearts. Red smirked, enjoying that look on his face, how Lust again melted into his side, safe and content, just how he should be. All the wrongness he had been taunted with seemed to melt away in an instant, replaced with a visceral satisfaction.

"doing a better job than you, asshole," Dance growled at him. "datemate my ass. lust was practically falling down not two hours ago, and it was me that helped him. if anyone is his boyfriend, its me."

"dance..?!" Lust looked at Dance, those same hearts in his eyes.

Red might have been overcome with territorial jealousy if he hadn't been hit much more strongly with territorial worry and fear. "falln' down?! sweetheart, whats he talkin' about? who fuckin' hurt ya? i swear t' fuckin' god, if anyone laid a goddamn finger on ya, i'll-"

"no! no, nobody touched me, i'm fine," Lust hurried to alleviate Red's concerns, holding his hands up in that universal 'calm down' motion, before resting them on Red's chest. "i'd just been neglecting myself. i, uh, if i don't want to get sick, i need to..?"

"need t' what?" Red asked, confused. "sweetheart, if ya needed somethin' ya shoulda told me. whatever ya need, just lemme know."

Lust looked up at him. "you're... serious? about the datemate thing?" He almost sounded surprised.

"lust," Red huffed, taking hold of both his hands in one claw, the other still protectively shielding his back. "ya fed me. i ate it. think i'mma joke 'round 'bout somethin' like that? hell yeah, i'm serious."

Lust's breath hitched, shivering in his arms. Red smiled, feeling his expression soften. Then Lust turned, looking at Dance. "and... you're serious too?"

Dance crossed his arms. "we just slept together. can't get more serious than that."

" **w h a t ? !** " Red felt a rush of bitter rage hit him. He pulled Lust closer, growling.

Dance had the audacity to growl right back at him.

Lust pulled away from Red, rubbing his sockets. "wow. ok. sweeties, i think we all need to sit down and talk about this."

"oh, we're gonna talk a'aight. right after i dust this fucker," Red snarled, summoning a bone attack, the jagged crimson end shimmering dangerously with all of his fury. _How dare this prick touch what is his, what is Red's to protect?!_ He felt his LV coursing through his marrow, screaming and shouting that it had been too long, that he needed to kill, to feel that heady rush of EXP and revel in the joys of violence, of conquering his enemies and making his territory safe again.

Dance tensed, sweat dripping down his skull and neck, even as he stood his ground. A soft bass beat seemed to flit through the air, heavy and dark.

Lust darted between them. "no! you will not! this is what we need to talk about!!"

Red swallowed, grinding his teeth so hard it hurt, fighting down the ever intoxicating urge to give in to the worst of his nature. He shook, crushing his own bone construct in his claws, panting as the scarlet fragments scattered and disintegrated with a sound like breaking glass, sweat sliding down his neck and spine. _He had nearly lost control in front of Lust._ Red's SOUL gave a shudder of fear. What would Lust think of him now?

After a moment, that intimidating music faded into silence.

Lust grabbed Dance's hand, then reached for Red (fearlessly, without hesitation, and Red was so very thankful for that, because he knew he would break if Lust began to fear him). Lust pulled them both to the couch and sat down, between them.

Red sat, careful, rolling his neck and sighing. Dance sat sullenly, arms crossing as he glared daggers into Red's very core. Red glared right back.

He wouldn't let Dance take away the best thing in his life. No matter what it took, Red wasn't letting Lust go.

* * *

Lust leaned back on the couch, taking a deep breath. He wasn't quite certain how he managed to get himself into this. He woke up this morning with two good friends, and somehow, he now had two _boyfriends_ (who apparently knew and hated each other -- small world). "okay. so. you both... want to date me?"

The other two monsters nodded, neither one taking their eyes off the other. Lust had never seen either of them wear faces of such disdain before. They had certainly never looked at _him_ that way.

"well... i want to date you too..." Lust admitted.

That got their attention. Red and Dance snapped their heads to the side, looking at him with earnest rapture, eyelights softening and smiles melding to something more genuine.

"both of you." Lust emphasized. "you've both been amazing, and i don't want to lose either of you. heh..." Lust sighed, rubbing his teeth. "maybe that makes me selfish..."

"i said i'd get ya whatev'r ya want," Red rumbled, clasping Lust's shoulder with a steady claw, his presence washing away Lust's tension as it enveloped him even more thickly in its protective embrace. "if ya wanna waste yer time with this prick, thats fine with me. but if he hurts ya, he's a dead man. capiche?"

"i'm not the one who's going to hurt him. or neglect him," Dance hissed over Lust's head at Red, voice cold and biting like an unforgiving ice storm. He gripped Lusts hand, squeezing. "this guy's bad news. he's nothing but trouble. you'd be better off if you cut him out of your life..." he took a deep breath. "but i'm not going to abandon you to him, just because you're too nice to tell him off."

Lust felt his SOUL swell. He grabbed them both, pulling them into a hug, his head bowed so they didn't have to see him cry. He couldn't believe it. They were going to stay. They were _both_ going to stay.

Lust could feel the crackle of resentful gazes over his head. He knew they didn't like each other. But Lust would work on that later. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy this happiness.

He wasn't alone anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary:  
> Dance has control issues  
> Red is very protective of his things  
> Lust now has two very alpha-personality monsters vying for his affection
> 
> why do i get the feeling that that Steven Universe song "Both of You" is gonna be playing in the background at some point? That's probably Lust's plan tbh.


	8. Gifts and Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance and Red aren't very enthusiastic about being metamours. Lust gets a present, and hatches a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its not very interesting but there is plot related stuff. here take this garbage.

Dance is utterly terrified. Since he opened the door and saw it was Red on the other side, he's been out of his mind with worry for Lust. That _thug_ had enough LV to kill a moose (as the humans say, although Dance is certain Red has the capacity to kill much larger, more dangerous creatures than a simple moose), and there is nothing Dance or anyone else Dance knows can do to stop him. Unless Lust had some sinister secret blackmail or other kind of leverage, Red holds literally all the cards: strength; speed; experience; convenient _lack of remorse, how the hell does he even live with himself, with what he's done, without being eaten alive by the sins on his back every minute of every day, why doesn't it affect him, how is he still functional?!?!_. Dance might be able to outsmart him, and with his shortcuts he could keep himself and Lust out of harms way for a few minutes, but that would only get them so far against someone like that.

Dance _hated_ that feeling of helplessness, that heavy choking pressure, that sense of futility, of being over powered, without any control. He _hated_ it, and he hated Red for making him feel that way.

Lust, however, only seemed to become _more_ at ease around Red. It was like Red made him feel _safe_ , and Dance could only attribute that to Lust's obvious need for companionship and ingenuousness. Surely it was only because Lust could not see Red for the brute he was that this was even in contention. Dance wouldn't abandon him, not when he clearly needed him the most, and especially not now, when Dance finally had a shot at having an actual relationship with a decent soul.

That first (wonderful yet awful) day, the three of them sat on the couch and watched TV, eating take-out (luckily one of the Grillby's established in town made deliveries). There had been a bit of an alarming spat about how to split the bill, as Red had stubbornly insisted on paying for his and Lust's share, but that Dance had to pay for himself. Dance threw up his hands in irritable, begrudging concession (Dance was of the mind that the least the asshole could do to make his cancerous presence more bearable was foot the bill, but it seemed he couldn't even do _that_ ), and then the three sat on the couch, with Lust in the middle.

Dance wanted to move between him and Red. He _did_. But he couldn't make his body move. His feet wouldn't take him any closer to Red than he was, nervous sweat slicking down his neck and spine. Instead, he made sure never to let go of Lust's hand, in case he needed to pull Lust out of harm's way.

Red didn't make any sudden moves, although that was as much a power play as anything else. The goon slowly, deliberately, wrapped his arm around Lust's shoulders and pulled Lust easily into his side. Lust, innocent as he was, hummed happily, and snuggled into the crook of his arm. The sight sent a spike of shameful jealousy through Dance, and the only thing that stayed his hand was the sight of how dangerously Red's clawed phalanges gleamed dully in the light, curled cruelly around Lust's delicate cervical vertebrae, reminding Dance with a sobering shiver of fear just how dangerous it would be to anger him.

Dance refused to let go of Lust's hand, even so. He also refused to take his eyes off of Red. He didn't trust him. He _couldn't_ trust him. Not him, with that sinister smirk and that menacing aura that chilled the very air.

And he wouldn't let Red do whatever despicable thing he planned for Lust.

* * *

Red was irritated; more than irritated, if he were honest. Dance was a prick, judgmental and rigid, harsh like a russian winter storm and twice as unforgiving. Red didn't want that kind of negativity anywhere near what was _his_. He didn't want Dance trying to turn Lust against him, make Lust question Red's loyalty or intentions. He couldn't afford that.

Lust had been genuinely confused about their relationship, which made Red realize that, perhaps, wherever Lust came from didn't have the same culture as his. That was another seemingly insignificant piece of evidence in favor of his multiverse theory, but Red didn't have the luxury of pursuing that thought process further than to file the information away for later. Right now, he had a problem, and that problem was currently _holding his datemate's hand_. It made Red's blood boil, made his magic roil and seethe irritably in his marrow. He could feel his LV screaming to _eliminate the threat_ , but Red ignored it. He ignored it because Dance was not a threat, not really.

Oh, sure, he could _try_ to take Lust away, but he would never succeed. What Dance failed to realize was that Red had earned Lust's trust and affection already, and there was nothing under the sun that would make Red betray that trust.

_Red had to keep telling himself that, over and over in his head, to beat back the intrusive thoughts that involved some rather graphic dismemberment._

Red also refused to offer Dance the same protection and loyalty he was giving Lust. Even if these two didn't understand his culture, _he_ sure as hell did, and that meant Dance wasn't getting any food out of him. Asshole could get his own food.

 _Or maybe he could give him poisoned food..?_ No, he can't do that. That's illegal. Boss would have his head, and the kid had put their faith in him to be an example for the rest of his kind. Red couldn't let them down, no matter how deliciously tempting... Also Lust seemed to be mildly attached, so dusting him might make his mate sad, and that was unacceptable.

Dance could live... for now.

In the meantime, Red would just make sure that his datemate was well tended to.

After getting the food delivered, Red shared some of his fries with Lust. When he was sure Lust was full, he wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Red had to carefully conceal his immense gratification at feeling how perfectly Lust fit there, in the crook of his arm, relaxed and content. He curled his phalanges carefully around Lust's neck, scratching under his jaw idly, a motion he was pleased to see was as welcome now as it had been the night before, when Lust had fallen asleep. Lust's sockets fluttered shut, _how cute_.

Red noticed with no small amount of satisfaction how utterly green with envy the mechanic was, hate-filled gaze boring into his skull as he stubbornly clung to Lust's free hand.

Red continued to watch the TV, taking the high road. His sweetheart would love him more for it, and it certainly seemed to be pissing Dance off (bonus). Red had everything in the bag. All he had to do was keep it safe.

And wasn't Dance lucky to not be a credible threat?

* * *

Lust was in heaven. He was floating on air.

Since the relationships were made official, they had started an amazing routine. The three of them watched TV, falling asleep on the couch together (with Lust comfortably in the middle, the best spot, in his opinion). Red's alarm woke them all up, then they all went their separate ways to work. Lust and Dance would meet up during their lunch break, that didn't change.

But sometimes their lunch break included other things. Things like hand holding, lingering touches, a gentle kiss, and occasionally locking themselves in a closet to have a quickie. Dance chased away the burn, kept it manageable, for a while. And with each round, Lust could feel Dance's confidence and skill grow, leading to better and better performances.

Dance made it easy to last until evening, when Red came over again, food in one hand and beer in the other. Then Red chased that burn away _entirely_ , giving Lust some actual relief from it. Dance showed up some time later, having already eaten dinner with his brother (which worked out well enough, since Red seemed pretty hung up about not letting Dance share with them, something Lust was going to have to address later).

The three of them sat on the couch together, eating and enjoying each other's company.

...Okay, that wasn't entirely true. Lust enjoyed _their_ company, and they (presumably) enjoyed _his_ , but Red and Dance did NOT enjoy each other's company at all. It was the one thing that marred what would have been perfection. Red was relaxed and talkative before Dance arrived, but quickly became sullen and silent in his presence. Dance was easy and sweet when Red wasn't around, but became passive-aggressive towards him, and for some reason nervous. The both of them would make backhanded jabs and try to one up each other, territorial and possessive, and while a part of Lust was thrilled to be valued enough to be fought over (he couldn't help it, it did wonders for his low self-esteem), he didn't like the actual fighting.

At first, Lust tried to ignore it, thinking maybe, possibly, they would work it out on their own. After the first week, he realized that they were not even _trying_ to get along (just trying not to bother Lust with it).

Lust gave it a few more days, before deciding that that weekend, they were going to do something fun together. He was going to get them to get along, if it was the last thing he did. He didn't need them to be best friends, just friendly enough to be comfortable around each other. Or, barring that, friendly enough to trust each other to be alone with him.

Lust consulted his brother over text message, needing a little help with the actual planning.

Lust's brother was never the type to disappoint.

* * *

It was friday, and Lust had everything ready to go: tickets, the hotel room, and he already got both of his boyfriends on board with the idea! They were going to be spending the next _entire week_ together at a spa resort! Lust had originally only been thinking about the weekend, but Red didn't have work now that it was summer, and Dance had some vacation time set aside that he was apparently eager to use. Lust already called in to his own work, and since he (luckily) didn't have any clients this next week, he got the time off.

Sure, neither Dance nor Red had been expressly told that the other was also coming, but Lust doubted, with the way they had been behaving, that it would make a lick of difference either way.

Red was the first to show up, knocking with his usual two rhythmic raps. Lust smiled, leaning against the door. "who's there?"

"gifter," red's rumbling baritone answered. That sense of safety crept into the room, like a smell wafting through the crack under the door, chasing that annoying burning itch away in the same moment it coaxed another kind of warmth in Lust's SOUL.

"gifter who~?" Lust sighed, relaxing as he lazily undid the locks.

"gift fer you, sweetheart," was Red's answer. Lust brightened at the idea, surprised. He pulled the door open, beaming up at Red.

Red had bag slung over his shoulder and a grin on his face. "heya, sweetheart," he practically purred, pulling Lust close with his free arm. Lust reveled in the steadying weight of it on his shoulders and back, making a happy noise that barely expressed the most superficial surface of how he felt. Red stood there a moment, perhaps as caught up in the moment as Lust (although that was doubtful, considering how very easily distracted Lust was), before guiding them both inside and kicking the door shut behind him. He dropped his bag by the door, then guided Lust to the couch, sitting them both down.

Lust didn't notice at first, but he was seated in Red's lap, and for some reason he was more than okay with that.

"now, uh, i think we better talk about this one, cuz this is a pretty big deal t' me," Red started, his fingers curling around Lust's neck, scratching lightly. _That was very distracting and he really liked that,_ but Red was talking and it sounded like this conversation might be important. Lust tried to pull himself together.

It got easier once Red's hands fell away (and Lust scolded himself inwardly for feeling disappointed), and reached into his coat pocket. He pulled out a small, black leather collar, thin but well padded for extra comfort, with a shiny steel buckle. Lust swallowed a bit, not entirely certain what this was supposed to mean, but his filthy mind was coming up with a number of scenarios that he was _delighted by_. "oh, red~ is that for me?"

Red's smug grin grew softer, almost shy. "well, yeah. but, its more 'n i think ya realize it is. remember how we misund'rstood th' whole food thing?"

Lust nodded. "not that it didn't work out~" he purred, still not believing his good fortune. If he had known what that would have meant, he would have cooked something himself, maybe put some actual effort into it for once. He couldn't suppress the laughter that bubbled up. "you're certainly easy to please, if takeout was all it took to win you over~"

Red rumbled a laugh of his own. "wasn't just th' shitty food, but i'd take all night explainin' it t' ya, 'n i only do one lecture a day." He wiggled the collar in his hand. "now, this is a big deal fer me. 'n its gonna be a big deal fer ya too. see," Red paused, as if looking for the words he needed. "where i'm from, ain't exactly th' safest neighborhood. lots o' fightin' 'n shit. gotta be extra protective o' whats yers. so when ya get a datemate, 'r have family, ya make sure they're easily identified as yers, so nobody's dumb enough t' fuck with 'm."

"oh, and you're so big and scary~ so nobody is going to want to touch your stuff," Lust teased, starting to catch on. "so, what, you got 'property of red' engraved on a little dogtag or something? kinky."

Red blushed, grinning wider. "ain't a bad idea, but nah. just spent a week pumpin' my magic int' this thing so anyone what tries t' touch ya's gonna feel it, know i claimed ya, 'n back th' fuck off."

Lust hummed. "do i get to feel it too? because that might be distracting, having _essence of you_ around my neck all day."

Red licked his teeth, eyelight smoldering. "you'll get used t' it. 'r not. ain't gonna bug me much either way..." Red's arm shifted down from Lust's shoulders so his claw could rest on Lust's hip. Lust shivered. "but that ain't all its gonna do." Red's voice grew a bit more serious, his grip more protective. "s'long as ya wear it, i'mma know where ya are. i'mma be able t' sense where ya are anywhere ya go, 'n if ya get lost i'mma be able t' find ya. plus, you 'n i'll be th' only ones who can take it off, so if some'ne tries t' get rid o' it, they're in fer a shock."

Lust hummed thoughtfully. Having Red know where he was all the time? That was a big commitment. That was a lot of trust he would be putting into Red. And, on top of that, Red would most _definitely_ notice if he made a shortcut, and Lust had been trying to keep that a bit of a secret. "thats a bit more than i was expecting... almost sounds like you're afraid i'll get kidnapped."

"thats kinda th' point." Red answered with solemn honesty. "bein' mine means i value ya, 'n i've got folks what would love t' get their mitts on some'in' i value. fuckers what wanna hurt me, 'r get me t' do shit fer 'm they can't do fer themselves. collar 'r not, ain't gonna be much longer 'fore some'ne notices ya been hangin' 'round me, 'n i ain't gonna lie, not all of 'm 'r friendly."

Lust frowned. "so, this is you taking precautions to keep me safe?"

"abso-fuckin'-lutely," Red affirmed. "ain't never gonna let shit happen t' ya, not if i can help it. but, i ain't gonna dump this shit on ya blind neither. i want ya t' know exactly what it means 'n what th' consequences are. that grease monkey ain't entirely wrong: i got some baggage, sweetheart. can't go pretendin' i don't."

Lust looked back at the collar, reaching for it. Red let him take it, sweating nervously despite his smug grin. Lust felt the leather, humming at the electric chill Red's magic sent through him. It felt great in his hands, soft and comforting, and it had been worn and treated to make it softer and more yielding. Comfort and durability had been the highest priority when making this. Lust couldn't get over just how thoughtful it was.

"so far, i don't see a down side, sweetie, wanna help me put it on?" Lust looked up at Red, smiling.

Red's eyelight hazed over, and for a moment Lust thought he saw it shift in shape, but then Red shook his head. "i'd love t', but ya gotta put it on yerself." He tapped the buckle with a claw. "this is solid silver with a coat o' steel fer strength 'n durability. ya know silver's the best fuckin' conductor 'o intent 'n magic, 'n i've been pumpin' this fucker so full o' mine, it'd make a boss monster think twice. if i put it on ya, ya ain't gonna be able t' get it off yerself. ya gotta do it so th' damn thing'll let ya unhook it if ya need t', or, uh, wanna..."

Lust smiled wider at Red. _So considerate._ Red was so sweet for him, so good to him. Lust leaned forward, pressing their teeth together softly. Red made a muffled, startled noise, before wrapping both his arms around Lust and pulling him closer still. Lust shifted so he was straddling Red's lap, looping his own arms around his neck for stability and a sense of balance, even though he was rather certain Red's hold would keep him upright regardless. Red let out a feral sort of growl, sending a full body shiver through Lust and sparking a familiar, yet for once completely organic heat in his marrow. Lust found himself summoning his tongue and darting it out to lick at Red's teeth, sighing happily when Red's tongue met his and allowed him to taste that magic he had been, heh, _lusting_ after for months.

His boyfriend tasted like watermelon, refreshing and chilled, relief from the eternal summer heat Lust had been baking in.

When they finally parted, Lust was dizzy and disoriented, glad that he had such strong arms holding him upright because he would have fallen over otherwise.

"theres, heh, some'in' else i oughta mention," Red's voice, deeper and roughened with something Lust refused to name ( _because giving it a name would make him think about it and he was supposed to be focusing on what Red was saying_ ). "way this magic works, its gonna try t' bond with ya. cuz it's derived from th' same kinda magic soul bonds are. its gonna try t' link us up, 'n if ya let it, i'mma be able t' feel what yer feelin', like, uh, emotions 'n stuff. so if ya don't wanna lemme in that far ya gotta resist that shit."

Lust hummed thoughtfully. Something about the idea of Red knowing what he was feeling was _exceedingly attractive_. But they still had some issues to work on. Lust didn't want to rush things any more than he already had. He wanted this to be a _lasting_ relationship. "is this a, i dunno, one time thing? if i say no to that now, can i change my mind later?"

Red grinned. "its gonna be like them annoyin' ass t.o.s. popups. ev'ry time ya take th' thing off 'n put it back on, its gonna disconnect 'n reconnect th' bond. gonna try it ev'ry time."

Lust sighed in relief. "then, to start, lets keep it simple. we can make it more later~" he hummed, pulling the collar to his throat. Red's magic sparked and rubbed against his neck, deliciously unfair. He fumbled with the clasp a lot more than he thought he should have, his fingers trembling from the new stimulation.

When Lust finally managed to cinch the buckle, he felt the rush of the magic, how it pressed on his SOUL invitingly, pleadingly. Lust would have given in immediately if he hadn't had advanced warning. He steeled his resolve to (politely) turn down the generous offer of _more_. The pressure lasted a minute or two, before subsiding to a stable, protective presence in the back of his mind.

Red hooked two fingers under the collar and tugged gently. "ain't too tight? feel ok?"

"feels _wonderful_ ~" Lust answered, shamefully honest.

"sure fuckin' looks good," Red muttered under his breath, rumbling with satisfaction, his expression something soft and content.

Lust wished Dance could see Red as he was right now; his calculated mask of hostility fallen away, unveiling the remnant of the caring, vulnerable monster Red would have been if he had never had to bear his scars, the monster he was when it was safe to be.

Red pulled his claw away from the collar, instead wrapping it around Lust's waist and leaning back, holding him and running his knuckles up and down the ridges of Lust's spine. Lust purred, melting happily into the hold.

"when we checkin' int' th' hotel?" Red finally asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Lust blinked sleepily. "uh, later tonight, 'round seven? but we can't leave yet... gotta wait for dance."

"fuck," Red cursed, tightening his grip a bit, his mood noticeably souring. "why ya gotta invite him again?"

"because~" Lust purred, looking up at him impishly, feeling particularly proud. "you said whatever i wanted, remember?"

Red huffed. "yer killin' me. fuckin' killin' me," he complained, even as his claws resumed their lazy track up and down Lust's spine.

Lust would take it, for now.

* * *

Dance scrambled home to shower and pack. Thank stars for shortcuts, or his predisposition for procrastination might have made him late. He quickly rinsed the sweat and various other fluids from his bones, then threw on his hoodie and sweats before stuffing what he would need in a gym bag (which he only had because his brother got it for him in case he wanted to start practicing again, which of course will never happen, but Paps isn't going to understand that no matter how many times he skillfully avoids going to the dance studio, and _he's just gonna push that train of thought right back into its box and close the lid again, okay, thanks, bye_ ). Dance zipped up the bag, then made certain the doors and windows were locked; a nervous habit, even though they lived in a perfectly nice apartment complex, in a perfectly nice area, with perfectly nice _human_ neighbors that _didn't snap peoples necks, or walk around in dusty slippers, it's fine, it's okay, stop thinking about it_ -

Dance punched the wall, letting the dull ache in his knuckles pull him out of whatever hole he had been falling into. He looked up, thankful he hadn't made another hole in the drywall (because weren't those a bitch to explain to Paps, not that it mattered since they had already lost their security deposit when he rewired the electrical system so the building wouldn't catch fire, not that the landlord had thanked him, the prick), then took a deep breath. He made sure to leave a note for his brother on the fridge, reminding him where he was going and when he'd return.

After one more quick sweep of the apartment, Dance shortcut to that alley by Lust's building, and headed up to knock on the door.

Lust answered as usual, grinning brightly. "dance! wonderful, now we can get going!"

Dance, however, was struck dumb. Lust was wearing a collar, a lovely black leather one. _It looked good._ "got a new accessory i see?"

Lust hummed happily, hooking two fingers over it and tugging lightly. "you like it? it was a gift."

"a gift?" Dance parroted, something heavy and venomous congealing in his SOUL.

"yup," Red's voice perked up as he came into view, sounding far to smug. "from me. don't he just look great in it?"

Dance ground his teeth, watching as Red leaned down and deliberately picked up an overnight bag from the floor. _Of course he's coming,_ it was just Dance's luck.

Lust picked up a bag of his own, spinning his keys on one finger. "alright, now, onward to a week of rest and relaxation~!"

Dance seriously doubted he would be getting any rest, not while knowing Red was in the same building. But he made sure to smile and nod, shooting Red a dirty look when Lust turned his back to lock up his apartment door. Red just smirked wider, false tooth gleaming malevolently in the light of the setting sun.

No, Dance wouldn't be getting any rest at all.

* * *

When Lust had told him he got tickets to a spa, Red hadn't expected it to be the 5TT Sparkle-tastic Spa Hotel and Casino, the single gaudiest building in the entire city. Sure, it was luxurious, but at what cost? It was _pink_.

But, hey, whatever made his sweetheart happy. It still had booze, and a pool, and a talented staff, so who was he to complain? Besides, not much could really ruin today. After all, Lust had put on the collar. _His pet was wearing his collar,_ how much better could life get?

He certainly didn't think he would enjoy the subtle signs of jealousy emanating from Dance. But he did. There was something immensely satisfying about it, and Red couldn't be certain if it was because it was Dance specifically, or if it was just that someone, anyone, could appreciate and covet the treasure that Red had. He supposed it didn't matter in the end.

Lust went up to the front desk to check in, leaving Red and Dance to hang back. Red could feel Dance quietly seething, despite his casual slouch and congenial grin. Red snorted. _Fake bastard wasn't fooling him for a moment._

Lust came back with three keycards, grinning. "let's go get settled, then we can enjoy the pool?"

Red took his card, flipping it between his knuckles. "'r hows about th' casino? win some drinkin' money?"

Dance scowled at the suggestion, which only made Red like it even more. Red wasn't above a little pettiness, especially when it ran parallel with his personal preferences.

"i've never been to a casino before," Lust mused, heading for the elevator. Red began to follow, glaring a warning when Dance stepped between him and Lust. Lust, thankfully oblivious to the exchange behind him, pressed the button. "is it really all that fun?"

"it can be, if ya know how t' play," Red affirmed, flipping Dance off.

"what do you say, dance?" Lust asked, finally turning around. Red quickly moved his hand so it looked like he was scratching his neck, under his collar.

Dance must have seen the genuine interest in Lust's eyelights, because he sighed. "yeah, alright. for a little while, i suppose."

Lust beamed.

The elevator arrived, and the three of them got inside. Lust confidently pressed the button for floor six. Red tried not to think about how close the three of them were to each other, in that inclosed space. He didn't mind being close to Lust, but having Dance close to either of them was irritating. Plus, Red was less than a fan of enclosed spaces in general. They were annoying. He tapped his foot, impatient to be out of the cramped metal box, even though he knew he could just shortcut out at any time.

Lust looked up at him, catching his attention with the gleam of concern in his eyelights. Red tried to look confident and reassuring, but he's certain it came off as irritated and menacing. He had never been very good at looking anything but menacing (not that that had been a bad thing before).

Thankfully, Lust seemed satisfied with what he got, and turned back around to wait for the door to open.

It couldn't open soon enough.

Lust lead the way to their room for the week, opening it with an elegant swipe of his keycard and pushing the door open. "here we are~ home away from home~"

Red let the both of them go inside first, closing the door after him and checking that the lock mechanism was sturdy and functional. Then he turned around to investigate the room.

It was gaudy, decorated in shades of hot neon pink and pastel baby blue. Everything was square, or rectangular, shapes meant to be a callback to the robots' debut bodies. It had two big lamps, a big TV, and one big bed.

 _One bed._ Oh. Shit.

"uh, lust? there's only one bed," Dance commented.

"thats right~" Lust hummed, putting his things down. "i didn't want the two of you fighting over who shares what bed, and since we end up asleep on the couch together anyway, i figured we could all share together."

Red clicked his teeth, annoyed. He'd been so looking forward to some alone time with his pet, but now he had to put up with the judgmental prick, even at night. The only consolation was that at least Dance didn't seem to like the idea any better.

"s'pose ya ain't wrong," Red muttered, sighing as he found a corner to put his bag down.

"its not a problem, is it?" Lust asked, looking up from where he was putting his bag.

"nah, whatever is fine," Red waved it off. "don't change nothin'."

Lust smiled. "okay, good." He linked arms with Dance, then grabbed Red's hand. "so, to the casino?"

Red smirked. "sounds like a plan." He opened the door, leading them both out and down the hall. Sure, he wasn't looking forward to another elevator ride, but now he would get to show Lust a good time, and better yet, show up Dance.

Tonight was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- behind the scenes tip: Dance has never actually seen a moose
> 
> \- red is a cunning and calculating lil fucker when he wants to be
> 
> \- when you think of watermelon you usually think of the _red_ fruity meat inside... but watermelons are actually _green_ ~~(hint hint at another bit of symbolism which i'm trying to put in everywhere and wonder if anyone else gets)~~
> 
> \- 5TT Sparkle-tastic Spa Hotel and Casino : a super luxury hotel with various amenities, co-owned by the four most famous monster celebrities (undertale's Mettaton EX, underfell's Mettaton NEO, outertale's Mettelit, underswap's Napstation, and swapfell's Napstatron). TonTon (underlust's robo-celebrity that is a bit less popular but still has a loyal following) isn't affiliated
> 
> \- dance is basically thinking 'gambling is a sin how dare you suggest- oh fuck lust wants to try it now i cant say no without being the buzzkill gdi'
> 
> \- is red claustrophobic??? when was this decided???


	9. Poker Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red and Dance have vastly different ideas about the outcome of a poker game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is bad. so bad~~!!

The casino was buzzing with activity: the clink of coins; the flip of cards; the bright, colorful beeps and mechanical zips of the slot machines; the clack of ceramic and velvet as those unassuming little balls and dice were flung and spun, dictating the fate of the player; all on top of the staggered roar of cheers and anguished cries that culminated in a cacophony of physics and misfortune.

Dance already hated it.

Lust, however, was visibly starstruck, eyelights darting left and right excitedly as he took in the array of activities available. "oh, red..! theres so many choices! what should we do first??"

Red chuckled darkly, a predatory glint in his eye as he surveyed the room. "first, we go exchange 'r g fer chips. on me, sweetheart, you 'n th' grease monkey go pick a game t' play. might i recommend th' card tables? easy money."

Lust chuckled. "maybe if you know how to play~" he purred, eyeing the tables thoughtfully. "but i suppose it'll be fun~"

Lust grabbed Dance's hand excitedly (and the warmth of it made something comfortable settle in his SOUL, calming down the loud, angry nerves whispering vehemently that this was a _bad idea_ and he _needed to leave_ ). Dance let his boyfriend lead him along, weaving through the crowd to the side of the room Red had gesture to. To Dance's surprise (and slight unease), Red disappeared, taking away that near-permanent chill his presence always brought. Lust's hand suddenly felt much warmer, and his stride shortened, but he didn't slow.

Soon Lust had found a table of poker players, consisting of a human male with too many tattoos on one arm, a dog monster that looked like Lesser Dog, but with too many scars, a purple monster blowing and popping bubble-gum bubbles, and a green fire elemental in steampunk lolita gear. Lust sat down in an unoccupied seat, watching quietly. Dance shifted his weight behind him, not comfortable sitting down at a table of strangers, especially with the looks the two of them were getting. _He didn't like the way the human was looking at Lust, eyes roaming up and down his body, following the curve of his spine._

Dance stood at Lust's back, hand on his shoulder, trying to pretend he didn't want to be anywhere else.

"You going to play, or not?" The human asked, gruff.

Lust shrugged casually. "eventually. waiting for someone to come with our chips? we need those to play, right?"

"Virgin gambler," the elemental observed aloud.

Lust chuckled, light and genuinely amused. "flattery will get you everywhere~"

The human threw his cards down, showing that, in combination with the shared cards, he had a straight flush in clubs, 8 to queen. "Read 'm and weep, girls! Ha!" He started laughing.

The purple monster scowled, throwing her own hand down in disgust, showing her best play to be a full house. The canine dropped his cards in defeat, only having a regular flush. The eager human male made grabby hands at the employee monitoring the table, eager to accept his supposed winnings.

The monitor looked to the elemental, patient (and from what Dance could see, bored).

The elemental slowly placed her cards down, face expressionless as it ever was. It showed that her best play was a royal flush. The human blinked owlishly at the cards. The elemental waited stoically for the table monitor to push the game's winnings to her, accepting a fist bump from the purple monster, who was snickering smugly.

"You cheating bitches..!" the human growled.

Dance felt that chill in the air. He ground his teeth, refusing to turn around or indicate in any way that he noticed the approaching presence. He noticed how Lust relaxed visibly, grin spreading.

"We do not need to cheat to win against you," the elemental said calmly, counting the chips and sorting them, her motions unhurried.

Red grabbed the seat beside Lust, sitting down with a smug grin on his face. "there ya are, sweetheart, find th' poor suckers what we're gonna ruin t'night?" he grinned, not even looking at the other players at the table.

Lust grinned. "more like the ones i'm gonna lose all~ your money to~" he purred.

Red snickered, putting a bag on the table in front of Lust. It clinked softly of plastic against plastic, the chips jingling inside, soulless yet inviting. "don' worry, i'll win it back. always do."

Dance scowled at the bad, crossing his arms. "lose extra hard then, lust."

"aren't you gonna help me?" Lust asked, looking up at him.

Dance paused, his irritable tension pushed aside long enough for him to appreciate just how Lust looked in the moment, grin easy and eyelights shimmering with the excitement only a new experience could bring. Dance looked back at the table, at the chips and the cards. _He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. It was a bad idea. Gambling was BAD. Paps would be disappointed._ He looked back at Lust again, only to be hit by how cute he was, waiting expectantly, patting the seat on his other side. _How could he really say no?_ Dance set himself down, trying not to show how reluctant he really was about the whole thing.

It helped if he didn't look at the humans at the table.

Lust pulled out the chips in the bag, dividing it evenly three ways as best he could, and pushing the remainder to Red along with his share. Red kept his expression congenial and affectionate when Lust was looking, but Dance could see the predatory warning in his crimson eyelight directed at him over Lust's head. Dance glared back, defiant, unwilling and unable to allow that chilling terror to have any sway over him. _How the ever loving hell Lust could stand this guy was beyond Dance's every comprehension._

Suddenly there was warmth on Dance's arm, Lust's hand a gentle pressure and source of heat. Dance met his eyelights with a grateful smile. Lust smiled back, squeezing gently before pushing Dance's share of the chips to him.

The dog monster made a startled yelp, then a growl. Red looked over at the canine, his gaze hardening even more, the chilling presence he exuded thickening and smothering the very air in a harsh smog of violent intent that threatened to choke Dance, making his head spin and his vision fuzzy. Dance gripped the edge of his seat on either side of him, holding his breath as sweat slid down his spine, every nerve on high alert and tuned to the threat sitting three feet away. _He couldn't breath, if he breathed he'd smell it and he didn't want to smell it, it was everywhere how did it get everywhere-_

Red held the canine's gaze, deliberately putting his arm around Lust's shoulder without breaking that eye contact. The dog wuffed, then looked away, suddenly finding the way its chips were piled exceedingly interesting. Red smirked, a victorious, smug thing that made Dance want to punch him. The suffocating chill of violent intent receded, once more returning to that unavoidable, but tolerable, sense of presence, like steam or smoke that could not be fanned away.

Dance let out the breath that he had been holding, a slow, tremulous exhale that left his bones rattling softly and sagging in his seat. He noticed that Lust seemed to be the only one at that table (save the humans, although even they looked mildly concerned) who hadn't been affected by whatever Red had done (or considered doing), his body language instead coming off as being _even more at ease_. It was this sole saving grace that allowed Dance to hold his proverbial tongue about the matter (and had nothing to do with his utter terror and stubborn sense of self-preservation). After all, as long as Lust was happy, he couldn't really complain.

It was the sharp clap of bone on the table that brought Dance out of his daze. Red grinned at the table monitor. "well? deal 'm out, buddy. i gotta win me some drinkin' money."

"Whats a skeleton need drinking money for? Won't it go right through you?" The human grumbled as the cards were dealt.

"like i ain't heard that one b'fore," Red snorted, peaking at his hole cards, thumb lifting the edge nearest him just enough to read his hand while his index and ring fingers pinned the cards to the table. It was a practiced motion, quick and seemingly effortless.

It was one Dance knew quite well, making a similar move himself, although he used his index as well to pin his own down. Seeing his cards, he repressed a groan. _Fuck, that was a good start..._ He couldn't believe he was letting himself do this again. This was _wrong_ , gambling was _wrong, why was he even here?!_ He should _not_ be playing texas hold'em in some overpriced casino with a thug and only god knows what the hell the others were. He didn't even _like_ texas hold'em, he personally preferred seven-card stud...

Then he looked over at Lust, who was using one hand to pin the cards to the table, and the other to look at them, snickering at some inside joke nobody told. Dance let some of his tension uncoil, seeing Lust have fun. He leaned closer, placing his hand over Lust's. "here, like this," he murmured softly, moving his hand to guide Lust's fingers for the right motion. "one handed, quick and easy. helps keep you looking honest too."

Lust looked up at him, smirking mischievously. "you never told me you played?"

Dance tried not to react. "heh. just a little. used to work with some casual players. they taught me a bit..."

_He had to do something to keep his mind off things when Paps pulled the plug on his saturdays with the wine bottle._

"think you can teach me the rules? i don't think i know what to do next," Lust purred, leaning into Dance's side, sockets hooded by a third and grin just shy of lecherous. Dance gulped, nodding dumbly. His mind wasn't on the game, though, it was instead replaying the last time he had seen that look on his boyfriend's face: it had been yesterday, during their lunch break, right before they locked themselves in the broom closet together.

Red rumbled irritably, wrapping an arm around Lust's waist, his claws coming _way too close_ to Dance for his personal comfort. Dance pulled away like he had been burned, sweat sliding down his skull as his analogue for adrenaline made his SOUL pound for all the wrong reasons. Coming down from his shock, he vaguely heard Red's voice murmuring the rules of texas hold'em into Lust's acoustic meatus, something suddenly different in the set of his jaw and the flicker of his eyelight. Dance repressed an eye-roll. If he wasn't certain of Red's utter irredeemability , he'd almost think it was-

It didn't matter what he could have thought it was.

Dance reached his free hand under the table and gently gripped at Lust's femur, seeking out a sense of stability, a reassurance. Lust brought one of his own hands down, lacing his phalanges through Dance's, running his thumb along the side of Dance's hand. Lust shot him a reassuring, grateful smile. Dance squeezed gently, fighting back the instinct to pull his hand away, feeling with uncomfortable acuity the proximity of Red's claw to his arm.

Dance forced himself to turn his attention back to the game. He met the bet and then raised by a fair amount. _It wasn't his money this time, it was Red's. It didn't even count. Nobody had to know, it would be fine._

Dance won the first two hands, before Red won the third. Both Red and Lust folded the fourth hand. Dance saw why: The human's poker face wasn't near as good as he thought it was, and it was pretty clear he had a good hand. _Doesn't matter though. He isn't supposed to be having fun. It's not even his money._ Dance continued with the round, placing a bet. He caught Red side eyeing him, almost skeptically, when the human won. Dance ignored the look, mechanically setting up for the next round.

Red took rounds five and six. The girls cut their losses after that, taking their scant remaining chips and leaving. Round seven went to Dance, round eight to Red. Round nine went to the human, which marked when both Lust and the canine lost their last chips. The dog whined and growled, grumbling under its breath. Lust only snickered, not the least bit put out by the event.

At the last bet of the tenth game, the human grinned. "So, hows about we make this our last play?"

"all in?" Red asked casually, tapping his claw lightly on his sizable pile of chips.

"All in," the human affirmed, pushing the entirety of his chips into the middle.

Dance shrugged. He shoved his chips out, not caring in the least if he won or lost. It wasn't his money, after all. It didn't matter. _Hell, he hadn't even looked at his cards yet this time._ If he didn't look, it didn't matter. _Win or lose, he was not allowed to enjoy this._

Red shrugged, pushing his chips out. "'k. guess this'll be enough t' get me buzzed. heh." He grinned wider, letting his false tooth gleam menacingly in the ambient light.

The human flipped his cards up, showing his best play was a four-of-a-kind, laughing.

Red looked at the cards, before shrugging and flipping his own cards over. "straight flush. guess i'mma drink a'aight t'night, huh?"

The human loured, ill-content wafting off of him in waves as his whole body shook with tension.

Dance just flipped his cards up, leaning back with a sigh. _He's not supposed to have fun here. This is a bad place. He's only supposed to put up with it. He's not. Allowed. To have fun. What would Papyrus think?_ Dance was interrupted from his internal beratement when the table monitor pushed all the chips to him. Dance blinked, looking down at his hand. _Huh. Look at that. A royal flush._

Dance had to fight down that swell of adrenaline and excitement. _This is not fun. It's bad. Gambling is BAD, and he should NOT be having FUN._ Even if the look of shock on Red's face was priceless, an unguarded expression of utter shock and defeat, like he had been punched right in the spine. Even if it felt really good when Lust threw his arms around his neck, laughing. He shouldn't be having fun gambling. _He'd promised..._

The human sneered. "Enjoy your winnings. It's all going to go to that hooker, anyway."

Dance felt Lust stiffen against him, squeezing tighter. Dance put his arm protectively around his boyfriend, his warmth the only thing keeping him from losing it. _How fucking dare he?!?! What the hell was with these humans and making assumptions about Lust?! Rude, unacceptable assumptions?!?! He ought to-_

The room went cold. There was none of the violent intent from before, none of that warning prickle over Dance's bones, but he recognized the cold. He looked up, and was particularly glad he was still seated, because he was certain his legs would have buckled, gone to useless jelly.

Red was on his feet, one claw in his coat pocket as the other played idly with a card. He was circling the table, sockets dark as the void and just as empty. His grin was pulled back into the most self-satisfied, menacing smirk Dance had ever seen, his false tooth shining, reflecting the last dying ember of hope in the human's eyes. Red's casual swagger, fluid like the predatory approach of a wildcat, made even the ridiculous squeaking noise from his untied sneakers sound ominous. Although his head was tilted as though focused on the card he was spinning in his fingers, there was no doubt that his focus was on the man who had foolishly dared to disrespect the monster that Red had decided was his.

Dance clung to Lust tighter, as much for his own reassurance as for the other's. Lust, in his arms, had relaxed again, settling comfortably in Dance's lap, head on his shoulder. Dance could feel the chill wafting from the collar around Lust's neck, agitated magic swelling in response to its master's intent. This close, Dance could feel the message strike him to his marrow: _'I have this. Relax. Don't worry. It will be alright,'_ it said, a message never meant for Dance. Dance couldn't reconcile that kind of soothing intent with the monster before him.

Red's soft, dark chuckling flit through the air. "now, thats pretty fuckin' funny, meatbait. but i don't think i heard ya right. see, i could o' sworn i heard ya call _my pet_ a hooker. but that can't be right, can it, meatbag? cuz' only a fuckin' dumbass would insult a guy's datemate right in front o' him, 'specially if that particular guy's me. you a dumbass, buddy?" Red started picking his teeth with the card. "'r maybe i just heard wrong? no ears 'n all. that what happened, pissant? i hear ya wrong?"

The human, ignorant and muted to intent as he was, started to understand the situation he was in. He grabbed his bag and jumped to his feet, backing away. "Don't know what you're talking about. I didn't say shit."

Red grinned. "yeah. thats what i thought. now beat it." Red inclined his head towards the exit, which the human scrambled for, looking over his shoulder darkly, eyes locking onto Dance's for a brief moment before he disappeared into the crowd.

The cold receded back to manageable levels, and Red tossed the card back onto the table, face shifting from that creepy smugness to something of contempt as he watched the human flee. Then he looked back to Lust, and it turned to something softer that Dance suddenly couldn't put a name to.

Lust stood up, smiling at Red indulgently. "you didn't have to get so mad. it's not worth it, really."

Red snorted. "yer mine. that makes ya more 'n worth it."

Lust smiled back at him, that (absolutely adorable) blush on his maxilla. "if you keep that up i'll start to think you like me," he teased, pulling away from Dance to settle comfortably under Red's arm. "seriously though, you don't need to start a fight for my sake. i appreciate the thought, but i can fight my own battles."

"maybe i don't want ya wastin' yer time on scum when ya got better things t' do," Red quipped back.

"like what?" Lust asked.

"like me, fer one," Red purred, tugging on Lust's collar with a grin. Lust grinned right back up at him, blushing harder, those pulsing hearts filling his sockets.

Dance ground his teeth, something hot and painful (and far too close to jealousy for his liking) churning uncomfortably in his SOUL. He still didn't like Red, or trust him, or think he was good for Lust. But even Dance wasn't so blind that he thought Red would hurt him now. The most upsetting part is that now Dance knows the difference between Red just being in the room, the stink of his LV wafting off of him, and Red actively throwing his weight around. The difference is so great it makes Dance's head spin. Worst yet, now Dance knows he isn't even worth Red taking seriously.

He was a third wheel, a third wheel with no control.

Dance swept the chips into the bag offered by the table monitor, then casually walked over and handed it to Lust. "i think i'm all gamed out, so, heh, i'm gonna turn in early."

"dance?" Lust asked, genuine concern in his voice.

Dance squeezed Lust's hand, not looking at Red, not wanting to see that stupid, victorious sneer. "see ya when ya come back to the room," he said softly, before pulling away and walking as confidently and easily as he could towards the exit. No need to make a scene, after all.

* * *

Red couldn't understand it.

Dance had _won_. He'd gone into Red's proverbial home field, sat down, spent the entire game looking bored and uninterested as all hell, then _won_. He hadn't even been _trying_ either. Red saw how Dance had purposefully ignored every sign of that human having a good play. He saw how Dance continued anyway. He saw how mechanically Dance played, every fluid, _infuriatingly_ graceful motion dripping with experience. Dance was a hardened, skilled player if Red ever saw one, and _he hadn't even been trying._

_Oh, how that fucking hurt._

Then he just _up and leaves?!_ Like thats all it took, like he didn't even _need to try_ with Lust anymore either, because he had proved his point?!

_Oh, **hell** no._

"th' fuck ya think yer goin', grease monkey?!" Red demanded. "think we're done here?!"

Dance stopped, looking over his shoulder, that easy, unreadable smile still plastered firmly on his face. "uh, the room? ya know, the one we got a keycard for?"

"not yet yer not, fuckface," Red growled. "ya ain't goin' nowhere 'till we settle this."

"settle what?" Lust asked.

Red paused, then grinned, a foolproof plan coming to mind. "why, settle what th' plan is fer t'morro'."

Dance turned back to face them. "what, like a schedule? or who gets the bathroom first?"

Red shrugged. "i was thinkin' more like who gets t' hang with lust. alone."

That got Dance's attention.

"red, seriously? this was supposed to be a thing for all of us..." Lust sighed, rubbing his sockets. Red scratched soothingly at his jaw, a motion that both pacified his pet and served to annoy Dance.

"how are we gonna settle it?" Dance asked. "have lust pick a number between one and ten? draw straws? rock paper scissors?"

"i was thinkin' somethin' more interestin'," Red said with a smirk. "a drinkin' game."

Dance visibly balked at the idea. He must have known it was a losing battle. _Nobody_ could out-drink Red. Not even Boss could out-drink him (and stars knows he's tried, with hilarious results, on numerous occasions). Dance looked at Lust, then seemed to look more inward, thoughtful, before squaring his shoulders. "fine. winner gets lust for the rest of the week."

"deal," Red answered quickly, the deal better than he could have hoped for.

"guys, really??" Lust groaned, clearly annoyed with them both. Red shrugged unapologetically. He knew the two of them had been getting alone time together, meeting up during their lunch break. He hasn't had any alone time with Lust at all, save for that one hour before Dance showed up earlier today. Even their weekends were being invaded by Dance. Red wouldn't apologize for wanting a little one-on-one time.

Red guided Lust to the booth where they could cash in their chips ( _the chips Dance won_ ), then to the bar where he sat down. Lust sat beside him, sighing softly. Dance sat on Lust's other side. Red waved down the bartender, then looked over at Dance. "hows about ya start us off, grease monkey. pick yer poison."

Dance looked over the wall. "lets start off easy with some of that madeira."

Red groaned softly, but waved the bartender off to fetch it. "sissy ass wine snob. knew there was a reason i hated ya."

"hey, if i'm gonna drink while stone cold sober, its gonna be something that at least tastes somewhat decent," Dance argued back. "we can start drinking gasoline after i’ve got a buzz going."

The bartender came back, setting a bottle of wine on the counter. Dance snatched it, popping it open with a strange mixture of care and carelessness. "go get another bottle for him. this ones mine."

Dance then proceeded to chug the bottle, throwing his head back. Lust and Red both stared at him. _Holy shit, he was a fucking wino._ Red stared, watching Dance take that entire bottle down in one smooth, unbroken drink, eyes closed in what almost could have been relief. The bartender brought the second bottle, which Red took and started sipping from idly, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Dance. He'd never seen someone chug an entire bottle of booze like that. It was...

Red wasn't too proud to at least admit to himself that it was amazing, and a little attractive.

It wasn't until the bottle was completely empty that Dance slammed it down, face flushed that noble blue and chest heaving for air he didn't need.

"welp," Dance asked, finally looking at them. "i _drink_ i'm ahead of you. might wanna _ketchup_ quick, or you'll be _wine_ -ing in the end."

Red felt sweat slick down the back of his neck, suppressing an eye-roll. He suddenly thought this wasn't the best idea.

At least Lust thought those stupid puns were funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red: *sees another fell monster*  
> Red: *flexes his shit*  
> Lust: hmm that feels nice, this air conditioning is great  
> other monsters: plz dont kill me
> 
> dance why cant you just have fun? what has fun ever done to you?


	10. Inhibitions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance and Red get drunk. Then they have to deal with the morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first 1500 words is borderline fluffy garbage. then the rest is... uh... well...

Lust sat between his boyfriends, sipping tiredly at a watermelon sangria he had decided to treat himself to, even though he was clearly the designated driver of the three of them. When Lust had wished for the two of them to get along, this isn't exactly what he had had in mind.

Of course he hadn't expected all of their animosity and discomfort towards each other to go away overnight. He wasn't asking them to kiss or anything, but thats beside the point. Lust just wanted them to learn to get along enough so that he could comfortably give them both the attention they, for whatever reason, wanted from him.

Drinking one another into a stupor was certainly not what he had had in mind.

By this point, both of his boys had downed three bottles of wine each, and Red had convinced Dance to move on to the harder stuff. They were both starting to get tipsy, and their voices were just beginning to slur. Lust already knew Red was a drunkard (after all, thats kind of how they met), but he had been under the impression that Dance was against drinking. Considering, however, how well he was handling his liquor, Lust could only surmise that, even if Dance had been practicing sobriety when they met, he hadn't always been that way. Dance met Red, drink for drink, his only complaints being the taste.

That, and a flood of puns, which Lust could tell was starting to bother Red more by the minute. He didn't say anything for a good hour into the drinking. Or the second. Or the third.

"can't ya shut yer fuckin' face with th' shitty wordplay?!" Red finally snapped, slamming his cup down. Lust recognized the way his eyelight wavered, the color muddied. He was reaching even his limit by this point.

"ain't my fault yur too stupid ta 'preciate a good pun," Dance shot back. His own eyelights were hazy and unfocused, his body rocking precariously from one side to the other. If he wasn't on his last leg as well, Lust would be very, very surprised.

"could if i wanted t'," Red snorted. "cuz itz low brow comedy. baby shit. makez a mockery o' good wordplay. fuck off."

"i call bullshit," Dance answered him, throwing back the next shot.

Red matched him. "wanna bet 'n it?"

"ten g sez ya can't match me," Dance answered him.

Red pulled out the money, slamming it on the counter. He looked at Dance expectantly. Dance rummaged a but before pulling it out and setting his down a bit more delicately. "lust, lust, babe, start uz off. whatz th' theme?"

Lust sighed, smiling. He didn't want any more competition, but he also wanted to hear Red try to pun while utterly sloshed. He might never get a chance like that again. Pulling out his phone, Lust jumped from his seat, pulling back just enough to get both of his boyfriends in the shot, and started recording. "ok. lets start off with 'skeleton'."

Dance smirked, downing another quarter of a bottle. "welp, i've gotta _skeleton_ a those, 'nd ta _patella_ the truth, i think they're m' favorite! no _bones_ about it! it'z no _fibula_ i love a good rib tickler, but skeleton punz really kill me."

Lust found himself giggling and snickering, trying to hold the camera as straight as possible. Red, however, had the most unimpressed face a half drunk lush could have. He took another swig. " _phalanx_ fer gettin' rid o' all z' _marrow_ -minded onez, really saved _malleolus_ a lot o' trouble. _vertebrae_ -ve o' ya t' azzume juzt cuz i dink punz 'r dumb i ain't gotz _ulna_ ammo i need t' kick yer _coccyx_. _clavicle_ it takez iz 'n _intermediate_ vocab'lary, 'n _thoracic_ iz i goz more 'n enough t' _socket_ t' ya."

Dance was openly staring at Red, and Lust was desperately glad the shock was choking back the laughter that would have surely overcome him, so he could capture that face: flushed, grin slack with disbelief, hazy eyelights flashing briefly into hazy hearts.

Red laughed, scooping the G off the bartop and pocketing it with a grin. "maybe ya outa sit in 'n one o' my clazzez. might teach ya a lezzon." 

"yuuu couldn't gimme a lesson 'n long distant spittin'," Dance snarked, taking another shot. "anythin' you c'n do, i c'n do better. i c'n do anythin' better 'n yuu!"

Red replied without missing a beat. "naw ya can't." Then he took another drink.

"yes, i can," Dance shot back, followed by a drink.

"naw, ya can't." _Drink._

"yes, i can." _Drink._

"naw, ya can't." _Drink._

"yes, i can, yes i can~" Dance practically sung, leaning forward towards Red defiantly. Then he threw his head back and finished off the last half of the whisky bottle they had been on.

Red threw back the last of his own whisky bottle, then stole Lust's seat, getting closer to Dance, looming over him. "anythin' yuu c'n be, i c'n be great'r. sooner 'r lat'r 'm great'r 'n yuu."

"no, yer not," Dance retorted, gesturing with a scoff.

"yezz i am."

"no, yer not."

"yezz i am."

"no, yer not."

"yezz i am, yezz i am~" Red purred back, grinning smugly.

Lust was starting to get confused. He wasn't the only one recording the event now, although he had no idea what the others in the crowd were so interested for.

"i c'n shoot a partridge, wit' a single cartridge," Red continued. Now he was _definitely_ singing, and besides the slight warble from being blackout drink, it was rather nice. The deep richness had Lust wishing he'd do it more often.

"i can get a sparrow, wi'zza bow 'n arrow," Dance quipped back, singing himself. His voice was more melodic, almost hypnotic, and even his inebriation couldn't tarnish the quality.

"i c'n live on bread 'n cheeze," Red continued.

"an' only on that?" Dance asked, a hint of mockery in his tone.

"yeah," Red answered.

"so can a rat!" Dance observed, flipping Red off.

Red gripped Dance's wrist, claws curling gingerly around the delicate bone hidden beneath the azure fabric of his sleeve, and moved it out of his face. As he spoke, he raised Dance's arm up, gentle but firm, forcing Dance to slide closer still, to the edge of his seat. "any note ya c'n reach, i c'n go high'r."

Dance bristled at the contact, but there was a spark of life still in his eyes. "i can sing anythin' higher dan yuu!"

At this point, the two of them went back and forth going higher and higher, until, to the great amusement of both Lust and the surprisingly silent crowd, Dance hit a high C, holding it out with a fantastic tremolo that made some of the glass in the near vicinity tremble as though considering to shatter.

When Dance dropped the note, he looked Red dead in the eye. Red looked back. There was a moment of silence, the distant clatter of activity from the casino a hushed murmur that couldn't invade upon the moment orchestrated by unfettered inhibition and memetics.

Then Red let go of Dance's captured wrist, curled himself over the bartop, and started _wheezing_ , his whole frame shaking with hysterical laughter. "h-holy shit!!! th' fuck?! th' utter fuck'z diz girly azz shit?!?!"

Dance held utterly still, his arm still upraised, leaned himself on the bartop, grinning broadly, his hazy eyelights sparkling like stars. "yeah, daz right azzhole!! laugh it up! lezze ya do da same!! i gotz pitch perfect resin- rezzi- wave wigglez!!"

This only made Red laugh harder.

"fuck yuuu!!" Dance snapped, his sapphire flush as much from embarrassment as anything else at this point.

"dat an invitation??" Red countered, turning back around, gaze smoldering.

Dance apparently didn't have an answer.

Lust ended the recording, slipping his phone into his pocket and wiggling between the two of them, throwing their arms over his shoulder. "okay, i think you've both had too much. time to go~"

"whaaaaaaat??" Red had the audacity to whine, grin widening. "nah, nah, i'm cool. i'm still good."

"but i wuz winning!!!" Dance complained.

"nah, i wuzz!!" Red countered.

"yurrrr drunk!" was Dance's eloquent argument.

"no, yer drunk!"

"no, yurrrr drunk!"

"any drunk ya could drink i could drink drunker~" Red purred, leaning on Lust as Lust started to guide them all away from the bar.

Dance fumbled with the walking part, tripping. He would have fallen on his face if Lust hadn't caught him around the middle and held him steady. "i could drink any drunk drunker 'n yuu~"

Lust couldn't help the smile on his face as he guided his two wasted datemates back to the hotel room, half-melodic arguments going over his head, followed by incessant drunken giggling. He didn't get the joke, but the joke was on them: because now Lust _knew_ , without a shadow of a doubt, that these two could get along.

And that knowledge made what was sure to be a _long_ walk back to the bedroom totally worth it.

* * *

Dance woke up slowly, a soft noise escaping him as he registered the _skull shattering agony_ pounding away at him in retribution for the betrayal to his morals. He hissed softly, squeezing his sockets shut against the light from the window in front of him, and squirmed himself around to face the opposite direction, where he buried his face in the comforting bulk of _something_. It smelled of moth balls, sweat, and liquor, but it was warm, and soft, and Dance would take it over the villainous sunlight any day.

Whatever it was Dance was up against, wrapped in, shifted, gentle but firm pressure pulling him closer to the convenient shield. _Arms?_ Maybe he had fallen asleep with Lust last night? Dance cuddled closer to it, fully intending to sleep off the agony in his skull, sleep calling him, coaxing him back.

Then there was a muted noise from somewhere over his head, and a hiss of pain much like his own had been. Then, Dance was pulled tighter to the bulk he had been hiding in, and moved, as what must have been a person rolled over to face away from the hateful window themself. The person curled tighter around Dance, their hand coming up to stroke at his cervical vertebrae, tender and apologetic.

Dance huffed, curling more into the bulk to hide from the light, content since their size made it easy. His head hurt too much to complain, especially when he was just as comfortable now as he had been moments before, if not more so, given the attention his stiff neck was now receiving. He tilted his head to one side, giving those fingers more access, and settled back down to return to the escape of sleep.

_...Wait... isn't Lust SMALLER than..?_

The hand at his throat froze.

Dance's sockets snapped open, eyelights reduced to tiny, terrified, jittering pinpricks. His whole body stiffened, his analogue for adrenaline coursing through his marrow and screaming at him to _run_ but at the same time _not to fucking move_. Sweat slicked down his spine, making the thin nightshirt he was wearing stick to his bones. _This was not Lust. So..._ Dance slowly looked up.

He was met with the empty sockets of Red, his false tooth glinting, a thin rivulet of pinkish saliva trailing down his chin.

 _Black. Gold. Red. Pain._ Dance couldn't breath. There was something sharp at his throat. The weight of the LV in the air was smothering him. _Black. Gold. Red. Pain. The glint of a weapon. His skull was ringing. The music was playing. The music was **w r o n g .** Wrong wrong wrong wrong **wrong**._ Dance tried to dodge out of the way, but it was too close. He shortcut to the far wall, reoriented so he had his back braced against it. His legs held him upright, instinct and years of practice kicking in to hold his balance, but _it still had him around the neck, black and gold and red and pain and the music-_

The pressure, the presence around Dance, vanished. Red backed up, hands held up placatingly, his usual smug grin replaced with a neutral expression as his eyelight returned with full force, focusing on Dance with the intense scrutiny of a hunter evaluating game.

"guys..?" Came Lust's quiet voice, piercing the tension. Both Dance and Red looked to him. Lust was wearing an oversized nightshirt, which clung to his slightly damp bones. He had two cups in his hands. "uh, good morning..?"

Dance felt his world come crashing down around him. He let out a broken sob, his legs giving out from under him as he clutched his teeth to stifle the noise, sinking to the floor and shaking. That _fucking song_ was still playing, his SOUL singing, a weapon with the safety off. Dance just wanted it to stop, _stop, **stop!** Shut up, shut up, **shut up!!**_ But it was too late, Lust had heard it, was _still_ hearing it, it wouldn't stop, it wouldn't stop just like the pain wouldn't stop-

"dance?!" Lust voice broke through to Dance. Dance looked up. Lust was huddled over him, one of the cups missing, the remaining one clutched in both hands. He set the cup down on the floor, moving slowly as he pulled Dance into a warm hug, cooing softly. "sweetie, please. deep breaths. slow. deep. its okay..."

Dance realized his chest was heaving, expanding and contracting in time with the beat to that _fucking song_. Dance squeezed his eyes shut. He might not be able to control his SOUL but like hell he couldn't control his own fucking breathing. Dance focused, taking a deep breath, holding it in, then letting it out slow. He did it again; in, hold, out. _His head was killing him._ In, hold, out. _He hated himself._ In, hold, out. _How was he going to keep Lust now?! Now Red knew how weak he was!!_ In, hold, out. _It was over..._

The song died down, until the room was left in silence.

Dance blinked, reorienting himself. He was on the floor, between the wall and the bed. Lust was huddled beside him, arms around his shoulders. Red was on the clear other side of the room, next to the now closed window blinds. On the floor beside him was a cup of sea tea. Dance snatched at it and downed it, sighing in relief as it chased away his hangover.

Dance patted Lust's arm. "uh. heh. not that i don't appreciate the hug? but lets get off the floor?"

Lust sighed in relief, nuzzling and kissing at Dance's skull. "are you okay?!" He was obviously trying to keep his voice low, but the worry in his voice was palpable.

Dance grinned, hoping it didn't look as forced as it felt. "just _lament_ ing that ya had to see that."

Lust let go. Dance stood to his feet, stumbling to the bed and sitting down. "uh, thanks for the sea tea. it was _major_ ly helpful."

Lust sat beside him. "sweetie. are you sure you're okay?"

" _measure_ -ably," was Dance's reply. "so... uh... i guess i lost last night, huh? don't remember a thing..."

Lust shook his head. "if you must know, it was a tie. you both passed out at the same time, moments after i got you both to change into pajamas." Lust crossed his arms. "but don't change the subject. you were having a panic attack. a _bad_ one."

" _sonata_ big deal," Dance said with a shrug. "forget about it."

Dance was starting to get a little nervous. Red hadn't said a single word. Dance turned to look back where he was certain he had last seen Red...

...only to find that he was gone.

Lust griped Dance's arm gently. "...how about we just... stay in bed today?"

Dance swallowed. "...yeah... that... sounds nice..." Dance laid back, taking a deep breath. Lust curled up against his side, a source of comfort and warmth Dance hadn't known he needed. Dance ran his hand rhythmically over Lust's skull, sighing happily when Lust started purring from the attention.

He didn't realize he'd still been shaking until he finally stopped.

* * *

Red sat down at the bar, clicking his teeth softly as he waved for the bartender to bring him a whisky. _Fucking hell._

Part of Red was bitter, bitter and angry and raging at the unfairness of it all. He'd agreed to take care of Lust. Lust was _his_. His territory, his to keep and care for and be cared for in return. He had _not_ agreed to have anything to do with Dance.

Dance, who was just as protective of Lust as he himself was.

Dance, who told awful puns like a dick.

Dance, who could fix a car like nobody's business.

Dance, who apparently had an adorable grin, could sing like a fucking siren, and whose magic felt like a raging waterfall.

Dance, who was so utterly terrified of him, the sight of him in the morning sent him into the worst panic attack Red had seen since Boss's first thunderstorm.

_What the fuck could FreExp like him have possibly gone through to make that even happen?!_

Red ripped into the bottle and downed it, growling. _It's not like he can do anything about it, anyway. Dance isn't his. He's Lust's. Red's only obligated to not kill him, and to not let anyone else kill him, so long as Lust keeps interest._ But he doesn't have any reason to do anything else. It's not his job to play psychologist. Even if he can see a mile off the guy's unstable and hurting and _needs to work through it,_ even if Red's seen those symptoms, lived through them himself, its not his place. Dance doesn't even like him, and fuck, Red was apparently a walking trigger.

 _And shit, was Dance dangerous when he got like that. Red had been worried he'd have to actually fight back there, for a minute._ If he'd had to wrestle Dance into submission, not only would Lust be upset, but he might have hurt him for real, and then Boss would have gotten pissed that he broke his favorite mechanic and _woe betide anyone who fucks with the car of the Great and Terrible Papyrus_.

Red finished the bottle, waving for another. He'd just have to sit on his ass, like always, and wait it out. A day alone with Lust should be more than enough to settle whatever bullshit Dance has going on in his head.

It just wasn't fucking fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- apparently both Red and Lust have watched 'Annie Get Your Gun'. Probably the musical.
> 
> \- dance has control issues for a reason. a very personal reason he clearly doesn't want to talk about right now
> 
> \- red's true nature is conflicting with his culture and its eating him up
> 
> ~ red remembers a little bit of last night (not everything, but bits and pieces that stood out to him)


	11. Olive Branch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone Gives Up except Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably moving too fast but i'm an impatient bitch and i cant do slow burns worth a damn. well, the fic was crap anyway, can really make it worse!

Lust sighed in relief, stroking Dance's cheek. It had taken hours of cuddling to get him calmed down enough to go back to sleep. Lust pressed his teeth to Dance's jaw, then pulled away. Dance shivered from the sudden chill his absence left, and Lust quickly tucked the blankets tight around him. He knew it wouldn't be the same (Lust was not unaware of his high body temperature), but it was thankfully enough to let Dance continue to rest.

_Given the state of is HP, rest was something Dance desperately needed._

Lust pulled out his phone, texting Red for his location, praying he hadn't decided to leave. This was definitely not a great way to start their vacation, but surely there was a way to resolve it?

Red texted back that he was just giving them space, and to let him know when to come back. Or if they needed anything.

Lust smiled. _Red and food would be nice_. Lust found his one hand gripping at his hip, the burn having built up after spending so long in close proximity to Dance without getting any special attention. Lust wasn't about to ask Dance for _that_ when he was getting over a nasty panic attack. _Stars, no._ That would be the worst thing he could do at a time like this.

But Red's presence would be a balm.

Lust texted Red back to come back, but quietly so as not to disturb Dance. And maybe bring food.

Lust sat down to wait, hand idly stroking at Dance's skull, his SOUL aching with worry. Dance hid it so _well_ , Lust had had no idea he was that hurt, that afraid. He should have, he should have noticed. He shouldn't have left them alone.

Sooner than he expected, the hotel room door opened, and Red crept inside, three paper bags clutched in one claw. For once, his shoes didn't make even the slightest squeak, and the door closed with utter silence. If Lust hadn't seen it for himself, he never would have know Red had come inside. Red carefully set the bags down on the table, taking extra care not to crinkle the bags.

Lust threw himself into Red's chest, hugging him and relaxing. The chilling comfort Red normally exuded was heavily subdued, as though he were holding it back. Lust pressed himself as close as he could get, soaking up every bit of relief he could manage.

Red glanced over at Dance, expression unreadable (even for Lust), before guiding Lust to the bathroom and closing the door. "everythin' a'aight?" Red asked quietly.

Lust looked up at him, swallowing the proverbial lump in his throat. "what happened? you two were sleeping soundly, and i got up to get you both something for your hangovers... then i come back and dance is..?"

Red looked away, shrugging. "dunno what t' tell ya, sweetheart. i was layin' there, thinkin' i had ya t' myself, then i look down 'n there's th' grease monkey. he looks up at me 'n then he fuckin' shortcuts t' th' wall, 'n suddenly theres fuckin' boss battle music playin' like its a goddamn video game, 'n he's freakin' th' fuck out..!"

"what were you doing right before he freaked out?" Lust asked.

Red averted his eyes, face flushing a faint pink color. "i was, uh..." He brought his hand up, curling his claws gently around Lust's cervical vertebrae, and started stroking, scratching lightly. "thought i was holdin' ya... then th' sun hit me in th' face, so i rolled over, n' was tryin' t' letcha know it was okay without havin' t' talk... was planin' on goin' back t' sleep... then i realized, heh, where th' fucks th' collar, right? look down, 'n theres dance."

Lust purred, tilting his head back to invite more of Red's handiwork, trilling lightly when he got it, sockets drifting shut. "wish i'd come back sooner, then... sounds..." Lust squirmed, panting softly. He tried to scold himself, remind himself that he had a boyfriend in the other room who needed help and he should not be getting all hot and bothered thinking about the two of them cuddling like two adorable kittens after a long day of play-fighting (never mind that he was hot and bothered to begin with).

God, Lust was so pathetic and gross. Getting himself a datemate or two had only made him _more_ needy, not less. Tears of _(so many different kinds of)_ frustration pricked at the edges of his sockets.

Red brushed the little liquid beads away with his other hand, the flat of his thumb sweeping them aside as though to banish them and all they stood for. "hey, none o' that shit," he rumbled, voice still soft. "fucker's gonna be fine."

"red, i don't know where to even start helping him," Lust lamented. "and his hp... i don't know how to fix this..." He didn't. He really, truly didn't.

Red sighed, picking Lust up like he weighed nothing, and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. He made sure Lust was comfortable in his lap, eyelight flickering pensively. "...first step is he's gotta admit he's got a problem. can't fix what ain't broke, get me?"

Lust sighed, nuzzling into Red's shoulder. "yeah... but he won't talk to me."

Red rolled his eyelights. "o' course not, that'd be too fuckin' easy. stubborn fucker..." He growled, clicking his teeth.

Lust smiled mischievously, raising a bone brow. "don't tell me _you're_ worried?? about dance??"

Red scoffed. "'course not. don't give two shits. fucker can rot fer all i care."

Lust grinned wider, bringing his hand up to cup Red's cheek. "don't worry, you big softy. i won't tell~"

Red put his hand over Lust's. "well, since yer all about changin' th' subject t'day, hows about we talk about why yer hot enough t' cook an egg on."

Lust gulped, SOUL pounding in his chest. It wasn't fair that Red could talk to him like that while giving him that look, his confident, crooked grin and smoldering eyelight peaking under half lidded sockets. _Completely unfair._

* * *

*

* * *

Dance shivered as he came to, curling up tighter to try and stave off the chill. He'd never liked being cold; even though he knew it couldn't hurt him, it was something he had come to associate with loneliness and danger. _It was too cold. It shouldn't be this cold._ He whimpered softly, terrified if he opened his eyes, he'd see the stark, bare walls of his bedroom, underground. It has always been cold there. _He didn't want to go back to that, again and again and again and-_

There was a click, then a squeak, the sound of a door opening, so soft Dance almost missed it. What he could never miss was the gentle, unhurried approach of someone, the scent of soap and chalk wafting off them, the warmth of them settling on the bed beside him. A gentle, affectionate hand caressed his skull. Dance immediately relaxed, his worry and fear chased away like shadows before the first light of dawn. This kind of warmth could only belong to Lust. Dance was still on the surface. He sighed in relief, snuggling closer to the warmth, his arms snaking out to catch Lust around the middle and drag him down.

Lust made a soft noise of surprise, but didn't resist, actually moving fluidly to situate himself again on the bed comfortably. Dance, not bothering to open his sockets, pressed his teeth to what ended up being Lust's bare sternum, still damp from the bath he must have taken. He heard Lust's breath hitch, then felt the first oscillations of his contented purring. Sighing happily, Dance settled back down, content to doze, enjoying the moment shared with the monster he adored. Dance felt the first rumbling itch in his own ribcage, and to his muted surprise, he started purring himself, low and stuttered, like tremulous breathing.

"guess he's still asleep," Lust whispered, his voice dripping with undeniable affection. One hand cradled the back of Dance's skull, Lust's talented fingertips making soothing circles, while the other ran up and down his spine, easing away tension.

Dance was so comfortable, he almost didn't notice when Red whispered, "i better beat it 'fore he wakes up, then." Not wanting to let the two above him know he was eavesdropping, Dance masked his involuntary response by snuggling closer to Lust. _Dance couldn't feel any of Red's LV at all. How the hell did he mask it so well?! ...Why was he masking it?_ It almost made being around him... tolerable..?

"you won't leave, will you?" Lust asked, the undercurrents of worry hidden in his tone.

"nah, i'll be back in th' casino, winnin' back th' g that lil shark snatched from me," Red reassured. "prob'ly get another room, 'r some shit. just shoot me a text 'r somethin' if ya need anythin'." There was a soft clacking noise over Dance's head. "do whatcha gotta fer yer pet, sweetheart. just remember t' eat. i brought'cha extra, so..." Red cleared his throat. "...don't let it go t' waste, a'aight?"

_Oh, for fuck's sake._

Dance opened his sockets, glaring up at Red. "its like you're embarrassed about being nice to people."

Red and Lust both froze.

Dance looked up at them. "well? i heard something about food." Dance knew he sounded somewhat irritable, his voice rough from sleep and his tone coarse from his anxiety, but he was tired of this. _He was so goddamn tired._ And he couldn't very well show any more weakness in front of Red. If this was going to work, he'd need to make sure Red at least somewhat respected his status. "don't just stand there, pass it out."

Red's face was expressionless, then he slowly straightened up, and walked over to the table where there were three paper bags. Red grabbed one with one hand, then the other two with the other. Red came back, reaching to hand the two bags to Lust.

Lust pulled the hand that had been stroking at Dance's skull to accept them. Dance grabbed his arm, pulling it back as he sat up. "no. this has got to stop." Lust and Red both gave Dance confused, odd looks. Dance huffed. "babe, ya want me and the brute to get along, right? well, then..." He took a deep breath, fighting down the acidic taste in his mouth. _He hated this. He hated how his bitter rivalry was hurting Lust. He hated how much he hated Red. He hated how hard it was to admit that, maybe, just maybe, he might have just possibly overestimated how bad Red really was, just a little bit. But most of all, he hated having to bend when his pride was already so bruised, so broken._

_Why did Dance always have to be the one to bend over backwards?_

But he would do anything for Lust.

"i'll..." Dance rubbed his sockets. "...i'll try, i guess... but _he_ ," Dance snapped, pointing at Red accusingly, "is gonna have to start giving me some common courtesy. and when he wants to be nice, he's gonna have to do it to my face." Dance gave Red a pointed look, before holding out his hand. "so give it here, asshole."

Lust's eyelights grew brighter, more vivid, as a relieved, excited grin split his face. Red, by contrast, had an unreadable look, his eyelight guttering out as a faint pink crept over his nasal ridge. Dance stared him down, daring him to protest. Red hesitated, and for a moment Dance wondered if maybe he would refuse, as he had so vehemently before. Then, Red slowly placed one of the bags in Dance's hand, carefully uncurling his phalanges from it without losing his grip on the other bag, which he then gave to Lust.

"there, now was that really so hard?" Dance grumbled, scooting over a bit, pulling Lust with him. "now sit down and shut up. wheres the tv remote?"

Lust flicked his wrist, pulling the remote from the other side of the room with BLUE magic, happily handing it over to Dance. As Dance started using it to find something to watch (for some odd reason, he was in the mood for a musical, or a western -- wasn't there a western musical? maybe they had it on pay-per-view... score!), Lust looked up at Red and patted the other side of the bed. Red hesitated again, before kicking off his shoes, shucking off his coat, and sitting down.

As the movie started, the catchy march about a guy named Bill filling the room, Dance opened the paper bag and pulled out the burger inside. He slathered it in some of the many ketchup packs tucked conveniently (not thoughtfully, of course not, purely coincidentally) in the bottom. He ignored how Red watched him, flickering crimson light trained on him with an intensity Dance would have found uncomfortable if he hadn't been so far passed giving a damn.

The burger was delicious.

Dance stuffed his trash in the bag, balled it up, and tossed it in the general direction of the waste basket, leaning back to settle more comfortably at Lust's side. As he did, he felt the prickle of LV creep into the room. Dance shot Red a dirty look, noting how Red was now avoiding looking at him entirely. Dance might have protested, argued that _Red could keep his nasty LV to himself,_ except this time, it felt... different? _It wasn't cold._ LV was supposed to be cold, but it wasn't cold now.

It was warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ this is short because of censorship
> 
> ~ >:3 notice anything odd about red's behavior?
> 
> ~ dance what did you just do? do you have an idea what you just did? no of course you dont.


	12. Spa Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lust coaxes his boyfriends into enjoying a day at the spa with him. Dance and Red learn a little more about each other, and themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one got long..?
> 
> also plz feed the comment monster i feel tired and it would cheer me up thank you.

Lust sighed happily as he lounged between his two boyfriends, who were finally, _finally_ , starting to try and get along. Admittedly, Red was being particularly quiet and unobtrusive, and Dance was irritable, but they weren't snapping or glaring at each other! Lust didn't feel like they were fighting over him anymore! It was an improvement, and that meant there could be more improvement to come!!

The three of them stayed in the hotel room the rest of saturday night, and all sunday. Red got up only long enough to answer the door and get the room service at breakfast and dinner. He insisted that _he_ be the one to answer the door, and that he inspect the food before anyone ate (for poison - poor baby was _legitimately concerned_ about being _poisoned_ , and it broke Lust's heart). Lust personally thought it was overkill, but he knew from experience that Red needed to do it to set his mind at ease.

It was new behavior to Dance, though. Lust whispered to him as Red worked, begging him not to fuss about it. Dance humored him.

Red didn't put up a fuss about sharing food with Dance anymore. Lust could tell that, underneath that stoic, bored frown, Red was hiding something (likely a feeling or two he wasn't prepared to deal with at the moment). He gripped one of Red's hands, squeezing reassuringly, earning him a return squeeze in response, along with a fizzle from the magic in his collar. Lust purred, nuzzling Red as he reached for Dance's hand to hold as well.

Dance continued to pick the movies they watched, all of which were musicals. Lust could feel Red tense and then relax at his side, clicking his teeth on occasion, a not-so-subtle tell that he was holding his proverbial tongue. Lust might have insisted he talk about it, but considering how new this territory was, he wasn't certain it would be a good idea to rock the boat. Lust decided to let whatever Red and Dance had between them develop in its own time, at their pace. He had all he needed, now that they weren't an inch a way from lynching each other.

Lust did insist, however, that the three of them start using some of the spa facilities starting monday. Dance was more than happy to oblige him, commenting about how he could use something to help him relax. Red was... more hesitant. Lust got the impression that he wanted to do anything but that, yet he didn't say a word of protest and followed behind the two of them, clicking his teeth. As they walked, Red's presence seemed to thicken, as if he were attempting to build a wall between them and any passerbys. Lust rolled his shoulders, wishing he could nuzzle into the feeling. How Red managed to make him feel like he was being hugged from three feet away he would never understand, but he loved it.

They had to take the elevator to get to the spa. Red bristled and tensed as soon as the doors closed. Lust grabbed his hand and squeezed, smiling softly, trying to reassure him it was okay.

Once at the spa, the three of them were greeted by a woman, who smiled and spoke with the casually forced cheerfulness distinct to customer service. Red bristled, settling a protective hand on Lust's shoulder, responding to some source of distress Lust was not picking up or recognizing. Dance, who was (as usual) highly sensitive to any form of hostility (and again unable to differentiate between offensive and defensive intent), made an exaggerated coughing noise, and gave Red a look. Red glared at him, then looked away, focusing his attention on the woman as though waiting for proof of his suspicions.

Lust rolled his eyelights, engaging the woman himself since neither of them seemed interested in doing so. "we'd like the works, if you don't mind? massage, mud bath, sauna."

The woman looked hesitant. "...Massage?"

Lust smiled back at her. "do you not have a masseuse certified to work with monsters?"

"Well, yes, of course we do! We just, uh..." She looked a bit nervous. "I'm just uncertain how much of a benefit a massage will provide to gentleman who, um, lack..?"

Lust looked down at himself, torn between offense and amusement. A part of him understood the culture shock: in all fairness, to a human, it must seem ridiculous for a creature without any of those soft, fleshy bits to want or need that kind of maintenance; on the other, assuming he was bone and therefore couldn't feel was annoying and dangerously erroneous. He snickered, hoping it didn't sound as hollow as it felt. "as a skeleton monster who gives massages, i can confirm it has quite a few benefits~ just treat us like any other bone~"

The woman nodded slowly, running up the total. Lust had it charged to the room. The woman led the three of them down a hall and into a changing room. "There should be robes of various sizes here in the closet, and towels as well. You can store your things in these lockers after you're done changing."

"changin'?" Red asked.

The woman smiled. "Yes! Since you'll be having the mud bath as well, you'll need to get undressed..?" She became more hesitant as she shriveled under Red's glare. Opened the door for them. "Just, um, come out when you're ready, and I'll escort you to the massage room."

Lust had to tug Red inside. Dance grabbed a robe his size and darted into a stall. Lust just started stripping right there, since nobody else was in the room and the both of them had seen him naked already. He pulled a robe down from a hanger, pulling it on over his bones, humming approvingly at the softness.

When he turned back around, Red was still hesitating by the door.

"whats wrong?" Lust asked, finding a robe in Red's size. It was larger than his own, and would have been too big on himself by a wide margin.

"nothin'," Red deflected. "just thinkin' maybe i'll sit this one out. watch ya have fun."

"yeah, thats not creepy at all," Dance called from the stall. He came out a moment later, snug in his borrowed fluffy robe, his clothes tucked in one arm. "don't think you'll be allowed back there with us unless you're joining in, anyway."

Red hesitated. Lust came closer, looking up at him. He could see the tension in every joint. "c'mon, sweetie. you need this just as much as we do. maybe more. you're always so tense..."

Red huffed. "gonna be more tense havin' some strangers' grubby mitts all over us," he grumbled, taking the robe Lust had found for him. "fine..." He shuffled into a changing stall.

Lust wrung his hands. Dance picked Lust's stuff up off the floor, stuffing it into the same locker as his things. When Red came out, he had his stuff wrapped up in his coat, save for a plastic baggie containing his phone. He went to put his things in a separate locker, moving slow and uncertain compared to his usual confident gait. He was still wearing his collar, the bright red standing out vividly against the white of the robe.

"don't you guys take off those things?" Dance asked.

Red shrugged. "nope."

The two of them, on opposite ends of the room, exchanged looks, inscrutable save for the shared characteristic of uncertainty. Lust was just glad to see the open hostility had evaporated.

He decided not to get his hopes up about that sparkle, that shadow, of something more hidden in Red's gaze.

* * *

Dance decided to put thoughts of that ( _those_ ) collar(s) out of his mind, and focus on enjoying his time with Lust.

When they got to the room where the humans gave out massages, Dance hopped up onto the table assigned him and waited, watching as Lust elegantly heaved himself up onto his own table. Dance couldn't help the dopey grin that spread across his face. _Lust was so agile, he moved like every twist and bend was an expression of art._ And (Red's whatever-he-has-with-him aside) Lust was _his_. Dance was grateful, honored, for that, especially at times like this when he could appreciate how majestically Lust moved.

Three humans came in a few minutes later, and instructed them to untie their robes and lay down face first on the tables. Lust didn't hesitate, unashamed (and with a body like that, who could blame him?) as he hummed, laying down with the robe draped over his pelvis and lower back for that last bit of modesty. Dance watched, then started untying his own robes, hoping he didn't appear as nervous as he felt, before laying down, his robes still draped over the whole of him from his cervical to his medial malleoli, even as he pulled his arms from the sleeves to use as a prop for his skull.

Dance saw, from the corner of his eye, that Red not only wasn't following the directions, he wasn't anywhere near the table. Instead, Red was leaning against a wall, arms crossed, watching. Maybe if Dance was first seeing him, Red might have seemed intimidating. But, compared to his usual presence, Red just looked... grumpy? Petulant? Dance supposed it was hard to take anyone seriously in a fluffy bathrobe.

_Red couldn't possibly be nervous. No way. Guys like Red don't get scared... right?_

Lust seemed to notice Red's reluctance. "sweetie, come on. join us. you'll like it, i promise."

"nah." Red answered, not moving. "gonna wait right here, thanks."

Dance snorted. "hey, i played that card game with you. you can sleep on a table with us."

Red clicked his teeth, a few beads of sweat sliding down the side of his skull. "...nah."

Dance and Lust shared a look. Dance shrugged. _If he didn't want a massage, it wasn't Dance's business._

The humans seemed to understand the decision had been made. The ones assigned to Dance and Lust approached them, while the one left for Red sat down to read a magazine.

Dance tensed as the human slowly pulled back his robe to expose his ribs and spine, leaving it over his pelvis. When they first put their hands on his scapulae, Dance felt a shot of adrenaline and fear run through him. He was suddenly very, very aware that there was _a human_ in a perfect position to do him some serious harm. _Red's idea to skip this suddenly looked rather appealing._ Dance ground his teeth, burying his face in his arms. _It was okay. It was a service. They were doing their job. They weren't going to hurt him. He was fine. He was Fine._

It was only when the first waves of soothing intent seeped into him that Dance started to relax. _Ok. This is nice. Not as good as Lust, but certainly nice. He could enjoy this._ Dance sighed in relief, his SOUL's frightened hammering dying down to a quiet calm. It took quite a lot of self control not to simply fall asleep.

* * *

Red kept an eye on the humans. He knew, academically, that they probably wouldn't actually hurt them. That kind of behavior was bad for business, and if Red knew that flashy, sadistic, four-armed robot (which he did, rather well, given he was an old employer), Mettaton took his image and his business very seriously. Even if these humans _did_ hurt them, they wouldn't escape retribution. Even so, Red couldn't bear the idea of letting some stranger touch him like that.

_Hell, he could barely stand letting them touch Lust (or Dance, not that he cared, not really, it was just business between them, nothing more, he wouldn't be tricked into thinking it was more)._

Red kept a careful eye on the way the humans' hands moved, keeping himself firmly placed against the wall. If they made a wrong move, he'd be able to kick off it and get there faster without a shortcut. _Assuming, of course, he didn't just fling them like a rag doll with magic. Or skewer them. So many choices._

Luckily (for them) the humans seemed to be doing a decent job, as Lust and Dance were both blissed out, half asleep and, in Lust's case, purring softly. Red felt the corners of his teeth turn up, letting out a breath he had been holding. His sweetheart deserved a little pampering, especially after putting up with what was, in the grand scheme of things, petty territorial bullshit. He rolled his neck, cracking it. For today, at least, Red would try to be more sociable.

Emphasis on _try_.

After what seemed both too long and not long enough, the humans pulled away, helping Lust and Dance off the tables. The three of them were led into another room with a large built-in tub filled with what almost looked like coffee, steaming brown sludge that bubbled here and there. Red immediately didn't trust it.

Lust shucked off his robe and went to get into the tub. Red grabbed his arm and pulled him back from it. "don't just get int' that shit, ya don't even know whats in it!" Red hissed at him.

Lust raised a bone brow, amusement glittering in his eyelights. "sweetie, its a _mud bath_ , i'm pretty sure all thats in there is some nice, clean mud."

Red scowled at him. "just wait a sec, lemme check it first," he rumbled, shooting Dance a look, daring him to make a fuss about it, before pulling out his phone to analyze the composition in the tub.

Dance scooted closer to Lust, who nuzzled into his side, lazy grins trying to hide a (frankly adorable and yet at the same time irritating) pout on both of their faces. "he's even more paranoid than i am," Dance whispered, causing Lust to giggle.

Red rolled his eyelight, focusing back to his phone. The analysis finally came through, showing the tub to be filled with benign minerals and water. Red sighed. "a'aight, its clear. go on. enjoy yer mud."

"oh, no," Lust hummed, pulling away from Dance and nuzzling into Red. "you _have_ to join us in this. sweetie, whats the point of going to the spa if you won't enjoy any of it?"

Red cupped Lust's face, scratching at his jaw, getting him to purr. "gonna be honest, mostly came fer ya 'n th' casino. wasn't thinkin' too much 'bout th' spa."

"and yet you're the one who needs it the most," Lust observed, gripping the tie on Red's robe. "sweetie, please? just try it? if you don't like it, the showers are right there..."

Red growled, clicking his teeth. Lust didn't even flinch (seemingly unaffected by anything Red said or did, as if he couldn't be intimidated), just smiling up at him hopefully. With a sigh, Red averted his gaze and looked back at the tub, where Dance was now up to his chin in the stuff, sockets closed as he lounged with his skull cushioned on the pillowy slope on the edge of the tub.

Lust kissed at Red's jaw, a gentle, understanding peck, then got into the tub himself.

Red hesitated, eyeing his surroundings. They _seemed_ to be alone, but that had never been a guarantee to begin with. The tub hadn't _seemed_ to be a trap, but again, he could be missing something. But, then again, this was an MTT brand resort, which generally meant the best safety regulations and security money could buy. _He trusted the casino, he should trust the spa. Stop being a hypocrite._

Red approached the tub, before carefully shedding the robe and sliding in carefully, bracing himself in place with a hiss as the hot liquid hit the first of his scars, sending a tremulous wave of, first pain, then relief, flooding his system. _Shit, that felt good..!_ Red let his eyes close, easing in a little further until the next big scar was submerged, where he again had to freeze up and allow his body to adjust.

He wasn't even halfway in, the mud just having lapped at the old break transversing his left femur, when he heard the other two gasp. He looked up, eyelight darting left and right, looking for signs of a threat. "what?"

"red, baby..." Lust whimpered, coming closer. "you're..!"

Red looked down at him. "i'm what?"

"you're covered in scars," Dance clarified. "what the hell happened?!"

Red looked at Dance, whose eyelights were guttered out. He tried to hold it in, but Red just couldn't keep himself from laughing. " _thats_ whats gotcha both freakin' out?! my scars?! shit!" He snickered, his grip slipping and making him slide further into the mud, where it smothered his pelvis and a good chunk of his lumbar vertebrae. Red bit back an undignified noise, his sockets closing as he finally relaxed, leaning back into the cushions rimming the tub. "fuck..! 'k, ya win, sweetheart, this was a damn good idea."

"red, you've got whole chips missing out of your ribs," Lust pointed out.

Red shrugged. "it happens..." then a thought occurred to him. He looked back at Lust, whose bones shone pristine and white underneath the mud splatters. Red looked again at his own claws, chipped and slightly greyed from years of abuse and dust exposure. He didn't have to look to know the rest of him was just as bad, if not worse. _Maybe he should have expected them to react like that. Not like he didn't know he's not much to look at._ Red eased in a bit further into the tub, sighing as the compound sludge burned away old aches in his joints he'd forgotten he even had, so used to them he'd become.

Red ignored the way Dance's eyelights didn't leave him, piercing and knowing, some odd element to their gaze that he couldn't identify as they raked up his spine and over his sternum, almost tangible as they took in the history carved into his bones. Red ignored the uncertainty bubbling in the depths of his crust black SOUL, clicking his teeth irritably. _He'd survived, he'd thrived, and he wasn't ashamed of bearing the proof of his life for the world to see. Fuck anyone who thought less of him for them. Fuck anyone who couldn't see them for what they were. Fuck Dance and his judgmental bullshit and fuck the whole damn-_

"do they hurt?" Lust asked, softly.

Red looked back at him. "iz'zat what yer worried 'bout? nah, sweetheart. don'cha know bone heals stronger 'n before?" He patted his sternum, grinning. "few o' them's a bit tender now 'n again. some'n 'bout temperature 'n air pressure 'n all that shit, but nah, they don't hurt."

Lust crept closer, his eyelights shimmering and hazy. "can i..?" He held up his hand, hovering at a respectful distance from one of the chips in Red's clavicle, the one from the fight with Doggo over that one poker game Red _didn't_ cheat to win. He chuckled, confused as to why his sweetheart would want to, but not really seeing a reason to say no. It wouldn't hurt him none. "sure, why th' fuck not."

Lust scooted closer still, nuzzling into Red's side. Lust's hand ghosted over his sternum, thumbing over the scratches Red remembered getting in a scuffle with a rather irate (and completely incomprehensible) temmie. Something odd filtered through that touch, pleasant and warm, that had Red relaxing back further with a contented sigh.

Lust's hand drifted up, his slender phalanges sliding over the smoother planes of his clavicle, inching closer to that chip, until the distal phalanx of his middle finger lightly grazed over one of the edges. Red choked on air, shivering as the touch sent an unprecedented spark of _something_ shooting through him. _That was fucking new!_ Then again, the only one who had come anywhere near his scars was Red himself. Startled (and somewhat mortified), he snatched at Lust's wrist like it had bitten him, pulling his hand away. "'k, maybe not. lets, uh, not do that."

Lust tensed, his expression overcome by an immediately flash of worry. "did i hurt you?"

Red tried to hide his nervousness with a laugh, hoping the sweat beading on his skull and shoulders would be attributed to the heat in the tub, and nothing else. "nah, definitely ain't hurt."

Dance's gaze bore down fiercer than ever. _Was he closer than before?_ Red hadn't noticed him approach, but he could have sworn Dance had gotten closer. _Probably concerned because Red moved too fast. He had to be more careful, move slower, Dance was too skittish to do otherwise._ Red, more deliberately, lowered Lust's wrist and let go, before settling back again to relax. He took a deep breath. He would have to be more careful.

Lust gathered himself, and as his wits returned at the banishment of his worry, a sly, crooked grin took over his face, and his eyelights shifted to hearts. "okay~ if you're sure~" He settled more solidly against Red's side, burrowing further into the mud. "i'll just have to be more careful tonight."

"t'night?" Red asked, already starting to sink back into the comforting warmth of the minerals.

"when we get back to the room?" Lust hummed. "i owe you a massage, after all~"

Red felt his sweating intensify. "uh, sweetheart, ya don't owe me nothin'-"

"yes i do~" Lust insisted. "you stood watch over us instead of letting yourself relax, and i appreciate your thoughtfulness~ i can repay you at least this much~"

Red gulped, sinking further into the mud himself, up to his teeth. _If he didn't know any better, he'd say Lust was trying to kill him._ But he did know better. What he didn't know was whether or not he was going to survive it. _Maybe he'll forget about it by tonight._

Red focused harder on how nice the mud bath was, ignoring the little tease at his side, and the piercing, intense gaze of Dance from the other end of the tub.

He politely didn't comment on the bit of discoloration he knew he saw near Dance's right clavicle, the slightest disturbance of calcification that he's sure was hidden under the mud.

* * *

Dance rubbed absently at his scar as he showered. The three of them had soaked in that mud bath for a good hour, more than long enough for Dance to get a good look at every scratch, chip, and discoloration that Red so proudly put on display. Years upon years of near fatal injuries, breaks that never got to heal cleanly, whole chips missing...

Dance barely has a scratch on him, yet he couldn't get a good nights sleep without curling face-first into Lust's warmth, or being so drunk he forgets his own name; he can't look his brother in the eye anymore; he can't even stand to be in his own apartment without all the doors and windows locked and bolted and the blinds drawn shut; he can't _dance_ anymore! Yet there was Red, wearing proof that he had been through hundreds upon hundreds of times more, and he just _laughed about it!_ Like it _didn't bother him_. Like it didn't hurt.

Like Dance had no right being such a mess.

Fists clenching ever tighter, Dance punched at the wall under the shower-head, his knuckles bruising as he broke through the brittle layer of ceramic tile to the underlying drywall beneath. He yanked his hand free, rubbing it to get the mushy mixture of water and chalk off, glad the color wouldn't show on his bones. He felt a wave of guilt, having clearly done significant damage to a public facility. He made a mental note to speak to someone about it discretely, and arrange to pay for repairs.

With a sigh, Dance flipped the water off, yanking the towel from where he had hung it on a hook and drying off. He pat carefully over his ribs, gentle around the angry cut that transected his ribcage from his right clavicle to his left tenth rib, the curve of that single smooth strike dipping low enough to saw off the tip of his ziphoid process. It had always been tender, sensitive to most any touch.

Dance wondered if Red's scars were the same, or if it was only certain kinds of-

_Pause. COMMAND-X. Cut._

Shoving _that_ thought out of his mind (because where the hell did that come from? since when did he give a damn about that brutish neanderthal?!), Dance pulled the robe back over his body and tied it closed. He would _not_ be going _there_ , or anywhere adjacent to _there_ , because, damaged or not, Red was still an intolerable, dangerous jerk...

...that hadn't said a word about his panic attack... and fed them...

Dance stepped out of the shower and went to wait for the others.

Red came out next, only wearing a towel, his robe slung over one shoulder carelessly, that ridiculous plastic baggie with his phone inside clutched in the hand not holding his towel to his narrow hips. He spared Dance a dismissive, abstruse glance before busying himself scrutinizing the decorative houseplants stowed in the corners of the room, _as thought Dance wasn't worth bothering with._

"not even a greeting," Dance grumbled, crossing his arms as he leaned back into the wall, tense again already. "could at least nod or something..."

Red must have heard him, because his gaze flitted back to Dance briefly, the shadow of confusion there, before both of their attentions were caught by the sound of the water turning off, and Lust's happy sigh as he came out of the shower, his towel around his pelvis with his robe in his other hand. "you two ready for the sauna~?" he asked, clearly in a good mood.

Dance grinned, tension easing. "after you," he answered, gesturing.

Lust happily led the way, opening the sauna door and holding it for them with a grand gesture. "after you~"

Dance went in first, sitting down as far away from the door as possible. Red took a seat nearer the door, but not in sight of it. Lust came in and sat somewhere between them, already fanning himself.

Dance blinked, but as soon as the door closed, the thick billows of white steam filled the air, obscuring everything but the barest of shapes. Dance could hear Lust's voice, occasionally answered by Red's curt rumbles. Lust was hinting again at giving Red a massage, which Red seemed to be trying to avoid (poorly). Dance sighed, leaning back and sinking further into the fluff of his robe, starting to breath a little slower, think a little less clearly, with each passing minute. It probably wasn't smart to come into a literal sauna in a thick fluffy robe. Heat always made him comfortable... tired...

The next thing Dance knew, someone was shaking him by the shoulders. Dance blinked up to see a somewhat worried Lust hovering over him, the cold air from the open door batting gently at his face as he blinked awake. "time to go already? was just getting comfortable," Dance hummed, sitting up straighter.

"you can sleep when we get back to the room," Lust promised, kissing his sweaty forehead with more tenderness than Dance thought was rightfully deserved.

Maybe it was how relaxed he was, maybe it was the heat messing with his head, but Dance was feeling rather affectionate. He brought his hand up, gripping Lust by his collar and pulling him down for a proper kiss. Dance felt a surge of magic in the collar, buzzing dangerously, angrily, almost painfully against his bones, until the energy finally subsided to a reluctant dull roar. Lust let out a squeak of surprise, before sliding into Dances lap, his legs on either side and his arms curling around Dance's neck as he melted into the affection. Dance drank in the amiable mewl that fell from him, rumbling with his own satisfaction before finally letting go.

For a moment, Lust only sat there, his frontal bone braced against Dance's as he panted, until a shaky laugh was forced out. "now you're just teasing me," he purred, voice low and sultry, as though to coax Dance back into his bad behavior. Dance had never been good at turning down his audience: turning down Lust wasn't any easier. He leaned up to initiate another kiss; gentler this time, sweeter, less passion and more a message of intent, of emotion, of something Dance was still hesitant to put a name to because if he said the word, or even thought it, he was terrified it would fly away like a startled bird. Lust responded just as favorably, a sweet low note quivering in his ribs and singing through the bone.

"ya know ya can do that in th' room, right?" Red's gruff voice asked, a thread of amusement woven between the words. Dance jumped, startled. _How the hell had Dance forgotten he was there?!_

Lust hummed. "yeah, but we can do it here too~" He nuzzled Dance's cheek, before sliding off, adjusting the towel around his pelvis which had come a tad loose. Even as Dance clutched at his own robes, calming down the nervous fluttering of his SOUL, he couldn't help but grin at the confidence in Lust's voice, which became less of an act, and more of a fact, with every passing day. _He's so much more comfortable now._ Dance couldn't help the small swell of pride that maybe he might have something to do with that.

As Dance got up to follow the others out, a stray thought flitted through his skull that, maybe, Lust wasn't the only one who had grown a little courage. After all, Dance would never have dared to make out with someone in a sauna before he met Lust.

Dance grinned a little wider, following after his boyfriend, ignoring the crimson eyelight that occasionally fell on him. Nothing was going to ruin his mood today.

* * *

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ i know we went over the collar before, but c'mon. come on. dance was gonna ask eventually. and it will probably come up again.
> 
> ~ thats about as suggestive as the censored version is gonna get, folks. dudes soaking in a mudbath, checking out each other's scars.
> 
> ~ i swear, dance is like a salty, bitter little chihuahua, and red is the mastiff trying to figure out why he's getting barked at
> 
> ~ LV is designed to numb a monster from the pain of going against their loving, compassionate nature through killing (and killing-substitutes), to stop you from being hurt. but you know how, when one sense goes dead, another sense kinda gets stronger? so if Red's SOUL is now numb to pain... wouldn't that imply that he is more acutely aware of the opposite of pain?


	13. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance is salty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the last one got heavily nerfed, sorry fam.  
> Theres some flashbacks to help you fill in the blanks, but this is all you get.

_So much for not letting anything ruin today._

Dance sat at a corner table in the hotel food court, sullenly sucking down his fourth extra-large strawberry-watermelon slurpee. The food coloring was starting to tint the edges of his teeth a pastel pink. He'd never had one before in his life, but as soon as he'd seen the display for them, (after coming down from paying for the repairs to that bathroom wall), he'd suddenly had a craving. It was irritating.

It also wasn't helping him sort out the tangled web of _whatever the fuck that was_ he had started feeling and _would not go away_.

The memories kept replaying in his head.

> The three of them had made it to the room, Red had anally inspected the door, then Lust had given him his marching orders. As Red stumbled to his side of the bed, shucking off his tacky leather jacket, Lust kissed Dance's cheek. "you gonna be okay while I give red a little attention?"
> 
> Dance shrugged, finding it was easier to keep his smile, even if the idea still annoyed him. "no skin off my bones..."
> 
> Lust smiled, dazzling and excited and _right_ , before nuzzling into him, pressing his teeth into Dance's clavicle through his hoodie (right over the tip of Dance's scar). Dance tried not to react, but he had started to think Lust was doing it on purpose, enjoying how flustered it made him.
> 
> "thank you... for trying. it means so much..." Lust murmured, nipping at Dance's shoulder through his hoodie. Dances curled his arms around his boyfriend, clawing at Lust's back and hip with as much self control as he could muster. He felt that low, hushed rumble stirring in his ribcage, his own fierce protectiveness and possessiveness raging like a caged animal. Lust took a deep breath, pausing for just that one moment, as if to commit every detail of it to memory, before pulling away to turn to Red.

Dance tossed the now empty slurpee up and down in the air, grinding his teeth as the flavor settled in his system. He got up, fully intending to get another fucking flavor, anything else, or a fucking coffee, or a soda, or just some water to wash the taste out of his mouth.

Dance ended up getting another strawberry-watermelon.

> Dance was actively avoiding looking at Red as he got comfortable on his side of the bed, muting the TV and turning on captions so he could watch a documentary on penguins. He didn't want to have much to do with Red, but he didn't want whatever calming, hippy mood Lust was trying to set disturbed by the TV either. He settled in, getting comfortable and fully intending to just enjoy a nature documentary while his boyfriend gave some asshole a massage.
> 
> Dance said he would try. This was him trying. He wasn't saying a damn thing and he wasn't actively interrupting. Hell, after the day he'd had, it didn't even bother him that much. Massages were nice. If Lust wanted to give nice things to Red, why should he care?
> 
> Dance was learning a bit about emperor penguins when he heard a noise. It was like that first, cathartic purr the engines of old cars made when you got them up and running, deep and tremulous. It was cut off far too soon.
> 
> "hey, its okay to enjoy it," Lust cooed, as Dance began to notice this faint, lingering smell of salt and watermelon. "that's half the point, you know~"
> 
> Dance shifted on his side of the bed, crossing his arms and carefully not looking over there. The scent was starting to soak the air in the room, pervasive yet still unobtrusive, almost comforting. Dance was able to focus back on his documentary, reading along with the captions as images of endearing flightless birds pranced on the screen.
> 
> Then he had heard that _noise_ , muffled and pathetic and-

Dance shook his head, stomping back to his little table of brooding. He sucked down the slurpee angrily. Angry at himself, and angry at Red for being a _fucking asshole_ and starting all this.

But that wasn't fair. He knew Red hadn't been doing it on purpose. Hell, that was the worst (best) part, Red had been trying so hard to keep quiet, and simply couldn't.

Dance was justified in being angry at himself though, since he had stupidly looked. He'd looked and he'd seen it.

> Crimson magic pooling in the cracks in the bone, making Red's whole body seem to shine like inverted colored glass, spiderwebbed with pink and scarlet light. Deeper, more vibrant hues gleamed with dazzling brilliance near his joints and in larger injuries, a topographical map of the damage he had suffered, now turned to breathtaking art.

Dance clutched at his skull, letting out an exasperated groan. _The asshole looked like artwork and sounded like addiction made music._ Dance shoved his slurpee across the table angrily, where it skidded to a halt just an inch from falling off the edge and onto the floor. He crossed his arms, glaring at it like it was the source of all his problems, before snatching it back up in shaking fingers.

He sat back down with a defeated sigh, finishing off the slurpee a bit calmer, more resigned. _Dance knew what a crush felt like._ There was no point wasting his energy denying it. He just hated himself for it. You're not supposed to like assholes, or criminals, and chances are Red was both.

He supposed thats why he made such a quick exit from the room.

But none of this thinking time had made it any easier. What the hell was this supposed to change? He still didn't like Red. Red was an asshole, and he was dangerous. Red could crush him like a tomato and they both knew it. Besides, even if Dance could somehow tame a beast like that, what would a relationship even look like? They had _nothing in common_. Red was an uneducated lush, and Dance was an artist.

Or at least he used to be.

Dance pulled his hood up, burying his face in his arms and taking a moment to just hide from everything.

The taste and smell of watermelon lingered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ odd choice in flavors, dance, huehuehue


	14. Meet the Family (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lust finally introduces his brother to one of his boyfriends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Stretch and Slim make another appearance!

By the times Dance got the text from Lust, he had drained the entire slupree machine (much to the fascination and disbelief of the poor human who had been tasked with overseeing that section of the food court), having just filled up the last cup when his phone went off. He made sure to grab a few subs (with extra mayo), a burger, and fries before heading back up, piecing off the drink even as he casually slipped into the room.

Lust was on the bed, his thin white nightshirt clinging to his bones, still damp from his shower, texting on his phone with a dopy smile on his face. Red, just as damp, wearing a loose mustard-yellow wifebeater and white boxers with matching yellow stains, was curled up into Lust's side. Lust's one arm was around Red's neck, his hand alternating between rubbing soothing circles into his skull, causing Red to nuzzle his face against Lust's ribs, and scratching absently at the divot of Red's scapulae, making Red shiver and start to glimmer dimly.

Dance reminded himself that Red was not the one he should be looking at as he sat on the bed, handing Lust the bag with the subs and licking at the chilled edges of his own teeth, where the faint taste of strawberry-watermelon clung.

Lust flipped his phone shut one handed, setting it aside and gratefully taking the bag as he drew in a deep breath, savoring the smell. "oh, sweetie, you're a lifesaver. i never would have remembered to eat." He ripped into the offered meal without preamble, one hand still gently, affectionately attending to Red. The rhythmic motion kept drawing Dance's eyes.

Red looked softer when he was asleep. Now that Dance wasn't distracted by fear, he had to admit that there was a certain stress, a certain tension and edge, that sleep took away from Red's face. Slack-jawed; drool dripping down his chin; the perpetual furrow of his brow and wrinkle of his nasal ridge smoothed out as his teeth were pulled into a small, soft, lazy smile; the bulk of his leather coat removed, leaving behind only the fragile, scarred, discolored ivory of his bones; Red looked so much smaller, less threatening. Yes, he was still larger than Dance by a good head, and yes, his teeth were still like a sharks, and yes, his phalanges ended in sharp, cruel points like they had been filed, only they were also longer than they should be if that had been the case (indicating that those claws were natural and not the work of design)... But it was somehow (just a little bit) less threatening.

Lust finished the subs, sighing contentedly before balling up the bag and tossing it to the ever-growing pile of trash right next to the trashcan. "see something you like~" he purred, hooded gaze pinning Dance in place as his smirk grew victoriously.

Dance snapped his eyelights back up to Lust's, hoping the heat he felt in his maxilla wasn't his magic glowing there. "what? no! i mean-"

"he won't bite, sweetie. well..." the hand not currently petting Red like a giant kitten came up to thumb at Lust's clavicle, his grin widening even further as the flat of his thumb followed along the pitting in the shape of Red's teeth. "...not unless you want him to, at least~"

Dance felt the burning in his face intensify, and instinctively pulled his hood up, fighting down a noise that quivered in the back of his nonexistent throat. "i'm not worried about him biting me, holy shit, babe..!"

Lust tittered, reaching out as the noise bubbled from him to grasp Dance's hand and gently, almost pleadingly, pull him closer. Dance grudgingly allowed it, settling in under Lust's free arm with a contented sigh, wrapping his arms around Lust's neck and shoulders, burying his face in Lust's shoulder and breathing in deeply of the energy that held Lust together, imperceptible threads that tasted of home and happiness. Dance pretended to ignore the collar, how it pressed up against his arm, a physical barrier between him and Lust's neck crackling with the chill of winter. Dance felt himself go limp as something tight in his SOUL finally loosened, holding the monster he had fallen for so hard at the end of a near-perfect day. Dance just lay there, letting the aggravation that had built up over the last hour evaporate in the wake of his warmth. He felt Lust's hand creep down to his hip, where he started to kneed at his lower back, wringing out the last bit of tension in Dance's body with his talented fingers.

"not so bad, is it? getting along..." Lust murmured, already starting to purr.

Dance made a noncommittal noise, letting his eyes drift shut. He honestly didn't want to think about anything except how comfortable he was. He didn't want to think about how Red's skull was right there, inches, centimeters, away from his own ribcage, how he could feel the chill of LV wafting off him and surrounding him, or how he could feel the press of Red's arm, curled around Lust's middle, against his hip.

He didn't think about the taste of watermelon and ice and sunlight that mixed with that sense of home, not even as he finally let himself drift to sleep.

* * *

The rest of their vacation was both blissfully uneventful, and a completely different kind of awkward, the three of them largely staying in the room and enjoying the room service (or sending someone out on a snack run). Lust was happy, _so, so happy,_ that both of his boyfriends were not fighting anymore. Yes, Red continued to be stoic, and yes, Dance continued to throw the occasional one liner dripping in salt and snark, but they weren't half as vicious as they could have been, or used to be. Lust couldn't think of this whole endeavor as anything less than a raging success.

But there was still a kind of tension in the air.

Lust couldn't help noticing how Dance and Red... circled each other. Red continued to make slow, deliberate motions, as though he were working with a skittish animal. He wouldn't raise his voice when he would bother to speak at all, and even when Lust could coax a laugh from him, he stifled it. Red also quit drinking around them (or specifically, around Dance).

Dance kept shooting Red looks out of the corner of his vision, only to hastily look away. He also continued to order those slurpees, always the flavor with the red food dye. Lust couldn't quite figure out why, since every time Dance started into a new one, he just looked more irritated with himself, as if he were angry or ashamed for indulging. He never said a word, but the flicker of emotions on his face, a gradient from bliss to anger to grudging acceptance, was enough.

When saturday finally rolled around, the three of them parted ways and headed home. Red and Dance insisted on walking Lust back to his apartment, which was... Lust could only describe it as nice. It meant he had to do more walking than he had intended (he was starting to miss the convenience of his shortcuts), but it also meant prolonging the time they spent together. They sat in the taxi (which Dance insisted on paying for, and Red grudgingly allowed, another stark improvement!), Lust in the middle, arms linked with the sweetest monsters a guy could ever hope for, and he couldn't help but wish the ride would last just a little bit longer.

The both of them even walked Lust up to his door. Lust made sure to give them both a kiss for their trouble (since he couldn't think of anything better) before slipping inside and leaning against the door, hugging his overnight bag to his chest and vibrating with the aftershocks of one of the best weeks of his life.

He wished they would have come in with him, that he could have pulled them into his room and buried himself under them and felt that comfort that they were there and they liked him enough to stay and hold him because _stars only knows how much he was in love._

As soon as Lust had thought the word, he let out this high pitched strangled noise, sinking to the floor and hiding further into his bag to muffle it. _He loved them._ He adored them. Red, with his defensive need to push everyone away, but let Lust in with a smirk and a snicker, who held him close and chased away the burn like blowing out a candle, who was so much more than his hot topic chic and broken bones would lead one to believe; Dance, with his suave agility, who was so caring and patient and shy, who needed to take control for some reason Lust couldn't understand, who was an utter gentleman, who judged others so harshly but had given Lust the benefit of the doubt: Lust loved them.

He loved them so much it _hurt._

* * *

Lust assumed (erroneously) that he wouldn't see either of them again until monday (given that he was going to spend sunday with his brother). Not that Lust minded; after all, they had both spent more than a week with him, they deserved some personal time. Lust also might want to gush about it to Papyrus (he didn't really have anyone to have boy-talk with, besides Grillby, and oh, didn't that remind him, he hadn't talked to Grillby in ages! He should stop by the bar. Maybe thats where they could meet today).

Lust was texting his brother about the change in venue when he noticed a notification go off. It was from Dance, asking if he had time to spend together today. Lust smiled, tugging absently at his collar with two fingers (a reflex he noticed he had whenever he thought of either of them, not just Red anymore). He suddenly had a great idea, and quickly shot his brother another question, grinning wider with he got an affirmative.

Lust then shot Dance another text, answering his question with another question.

* * *

[wanna meet my brother?]

Dance couldn't believe he said yes. He honestly couldn't believe himself. This was a _Big Step™_ , with all the emphasis of capital letters and the trademark icon. Meeting family was a sign that it was Serious. The realization that Lust wanted this was dizzying in more ways than one. On the one had, Dance was ecstatic, his body buzzing with joyous energy he didn't know what to do with; on the other, it was also making him a bit nauseous. _What if he made a mistake? What if he made a fool of himself? What if Lust's brother didn't like him???_

Dance had more than enough time to shove down the acidic clot boiling in his nonexistent throat, push down the nausea and bile, and walk off the nervous shaking, as he followed the GPS on his phone to the address Lust had texted him to meet at. Lust had said that it was a bar (which was fine, they probably served virgin mojitos there, or water, or ketchup, Dance didn't have to drink), one he worked at on and off to pay his tab.

Besides, this got Dance out of the house, which meant he had a legitimate excuse why, _no, bro, I can't take over for one of your no-show ballroom dance instructors, you know, the one you asked to not show up in order to guilt-trip me again._ Dance rubbed his forehead. Papyrus meant well, he really did, but it was getting ridiculous.

Ridiculous enough, even, that Dance had not only texted Lust in hopes of rescue, but opted to leave _early_ just to avoid that awkward conversation he could have with much less stress through a well placed sticky note.

Turns out he needed the extra time, though, since his stride slowed the closer he got to his destination as he took in the sights.

Dance wandered down the streets, which became less and less well maintained, and the roads more and more dilapidated, until it bottomed out into a steady quality which he could only describe as 'classy sleaze', with public faculties looking like slums while private owned businesses looking immaculate. There were plenty of pedestrians, humans and monsters alike, going up and down the cracked sidewalks, most of which wore leather or bright neon colors (or both, much like Lust did, now that he thought about it), leaving Dance to feel like he somehow stood out in the crowd. The prickle of eyes on him didn't help either, leaving him tense and jumpy and anxious even as he carefully picked his way down the street.

When Dance came to a halt in front of the building his phone was certain was the correct one, he almost chickened out and went home, face burning as he gawked at the neon sign, which clearly read 'stripclub' for all to see. He would never, ever think less of Lust for his hobbies, or his coping mechanisms (god only knows that would be pot calling kettle), but he wasn't sure he was prepared to see it thrown in his face, blindingly obvious and unavoidable. He also didn't know if he was going to be able to tolerate whatever other kind of people were in there.

He didn't know if he could tolerate those other people being anywhere near Lust.

Before Dance could make a decision, however, he heard a voice call his name. When he turned, there was Lust, coming from the opposite direction, waving with a big grin on his face. Dance felt his shoulders ease, a soft smile tugging at his teeth. Lust started to pick up speed, going from a brisk walk to outright running. Dance opened his arms, and Lust threw himself into them, nuzzling and purring as though it had been weeks (as opposed to the single day) since they had last seen each other. Dance rumbled happily, helpless to stifle it as he pulled this warm, affectionate thing against him and let his anxiety melt away, let everything outside of this tiny, perfect bubble where he was holding Lust and all was right with the world fade into the background, unimportant.

"was almost worried ya wouldn't come," Lust murmured, snuggling closer.

"me too," Dance admitted, rubbing Lust's back with one hand and clinging to his hip with the other.

Lust chuckled. "but you did..." He almost sounded surprised, disbelief and awe making his voice wisp and lilt like smoke and sugar. Dance let go of Lust's hip to cup his cheek, tilting it just those few degrees necessary thanks to Dance's minuscule hight advantage (which he probably only had thanks to the cushion in his sneaker soles, as opposed to Lust's flat bottomed boots). He looked into Lust's sockets, grin spreading wider, his SOUL buzzing joyously as their frontal bones made contact, resting on each other in a sweet, skeletal kiss, sharing their voluntary breath and tasting each other on the air.

There was a soft click, and a not-so-soft peal of laughter, and the illusion was broken.

Dance looked up, face again burning, to see a taller skeleton monster standing off to the side, phone held up as he took a second photo. He was dressed in tight leather pants and a long sleeved black leather bolero, with a turtleneck high collar and a short black cape fluttering behind him. His bolero buttoned shut at the top of his sternum, but opened outward from there down, putting his whole ribcage on glorious display, as well as a glowing translucent abdominal region, magic constructed to buffer his spine and sensualize ever subtle movement he made. It also made his black belt with gold heart studs stand out in stark contrast. "WELL I WASN'T EXPECTING TO HAVE PICTURE FODDER SO SOON!!"

"papyrus!" Lust exclaimed, pulling away just enough to turn and look at the other skeleton squarely. "...you better send me copies!"

"lust!!" Dance coughed, feeling his maxilla burning brighter still. It was a toss-up as to why: On the one hand, _he'd all but made out on the sidewalk, in public, in broad daylight, and thats the first thing this guy sees of him;_ on the other, _this guy is walking around half naked for no discernible reason_.

Dance was familiar enough with Lust's... problem... that he wasn't going to write off there being a not-so-easily discernible reason (a part of him wondering if that thought would have even crossed his mind before Lust had come into his life).

'Paps' only laughed again, typing on his phone before putting it away, somehow fitting it into a pocket in his leather pants that should not by all laws of nature have room to exist.

"dance," Lust hummed, pulling away a little more, yet making sure to keep one arm around Dance at all times. "this is my little brother, papyrus. paps, this is my boyfriend, dance."

'Paps' extended his hand. "IT IS VERY NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU, DANCE!! I AM PAPYRUS! THE GREAT PAPYRUS!! BUT MY FRIENDS CALL ME PINK. SINCE I AM SURE WE WILL BE GOOD FRIENDS, YOU CAN CALL ME PINK TOO!"

Dance took a deep breath, then let it out slow, sighing with relief. He made a point of looking the taller monster in the eye as he extended his own hand with a genuine smile. "nice to meet you too, pink. pleasures all mine."

Their hands met, and the high pitched airy wheeze of a whoopee cushion broke out between them.

* * *

Lust, to his credit, didn't start laughing even after Dance had pulled the carefully hidden gag device from the inside of his sleeveless glove, showed it to Paps, and thus wretched from him the most self-disgusted and hammed-up "NOOOOOOOOOO!" a skeleton should be capable of uttering. He wanted to, _oh, how he wanted to._ That was hilarious, the best greeting he could ever ask for from his amazing boyfriend, but Lust held it in, fighting it down even as his bones started to rattle from the strain.

Lust didn't start laughing even after Paps had finished his over-exaggerated lamentations: "HOW COULD YOU!! MY ALONE TIME HAND IS NOW FOREVER RUINED BY TOILET HUMOR!!! HOW WILL I EVER ENJOY MY SELF CARE NOW, KNOWING MY BEAUTIFUL TALENTED FINGERS HAVE BEEN USED FOR SUCH LOW BROW COMEDIC HUBRIS?!?!"

No, Lust didn't start laughing until after the smug, self-satisfied expression that had been blooming on Dance's face had morphed into horrified blushing, and Dance let out this mortified high pitched whine. Thats when Lust couldn't take it anymore, and lost it, clinging to Dance and wheezing as he fought to keep from falling over.

When Lust looked up again, wiping a bit of moisture from his sockets, he could see the thinly veiled approval in his brother's eyelights. Even if that kind of humor wasn't his favorite, Pink wasn't evaluating Dance for himself, but for Lust. And Lust knew without a doubt that all his amazing little brother wanted was his happiness.

He's so glad he could show Paps just how happy Dance makes him.

After giving Dance a moment to compose himself, Lust nuzzled his shoulder and started tugging on his arm. "now that introductions are out of the way, lets go have a nice lunch and get to know each other."

Dance nodded dumbly, still glowing that beautiful shade of azure as he let Lust guide him to the door. Paps followed after, grinning broadly at the two of them. Dance probably didn't know it (poor thing, always doubting himself despite how _indescribably amazing he was, like he wasn't even aware of how graceful and clever he could be without even trying, how handsome and witty and charming_ ), but he'd done everything right, already. Just like he knew he would.

Lust elbowed the club door open, pulling Dance inside and turning to look for a table to sit at. He noticed the usual table, in the back, was unoccupied, and headed for it...

Only to be swept up in long flaming arms before he was even halfway across the room.

"Oh my god, you're alright!" Grillby gasped, picking Lust's diminutive frame up clean off the floor and spinning around. _'I was worried sick!'_ his flames crackled and hissed and popped, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to be angry or elated.

Lust laughed in surprise, patting Grillby's back. "of course i am? don't tell me you were worried~"

Grillby sat Lust back down on his feet, letting go just enough to shake a finger at him accusatorially. "Of course I was worried!" Grillby snapped, even as his flames hissed and sputtered in a rant, _'You disappeared off the face of the earth, and the last I saw you, you were escorting a violent drunk out of my bar, and you think I wasn't worried?!?!'_

"violent drunk?!" Dance parroted in common, hackles raised in (sweet, well meaning, but completely unnecessary) protectiveness.

Lust smiled, reaching up to grip onto his collar. "calm down, dance, he just means red. who isn't a violent drunk, thank you. he's a cuddly giggler."

"oh, that makes it _so much better,_ " Dance growled under his breath, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Lust couldn't help but smile at the display, knowing, seeing, hearing the difference between now and before. He might have meant every word, but not in the way he was trying to pretend he did.

"You're sure you're alright?! It's been months since I helped you out," Grillby reminded him. "How about..." He quirked that smoldering grin, one hand flicking up to grab at Lust's collar.

Lust didn't think to warn him before it was too late:

The collar sparked and snapped, protective intent lashing out and biting at Grillby's fingertips with righteous fury. Grillby yanked his hand back with a startled yelp, cradling the now discolored digits to his fishnet-covered chest. Dance, tense and bristling despite his smile, looped his arm around Lust's shoulders, pulling him closer and watching Grillby like a hawk.

It wasn't five seconds before Lust's phone rang.

* * *

Red had been somewhat excited to go out drinking with his friends, even if it was in the creepy spider's pub. He had come home last night to his shitty slum apartment, only to find boss sitting on his lumpy couch with a single flickering light on, like the wrathful parent of a teenager caught sneaking home after a party on a school night. Red had certainly felt like one, listening to his brother rant and growl about how _dare_ he let someone touch his collar without talking to him about it, how _dare_ he not call him immediately, or text, or come running to let him look Red over. Red might have snapped, might have gotten defensive and angry, might have yelled that _maybe boss had forgotten who the older brother was here_ and his pet could do whatever the hell he wanted, _fuck you very much._

Boss had certainly put his foot down after that, with a long, loud snarl about how _family didn't give family that kind of anxiety, and that Red better damn well amend the situation with a proper family dinner._ At _his_ apartment, obviously, since Red's was a fucking dump. Red might have growled out an agreement just to appease him and get him to leave faster. Boss might have ended it by snapping how that included Red's pets, and he'd expect them all this saturday at 7, right before slamming the door behind him and cackling like the smug bastard he was.

Red _still_ didn't know how the fuck he was going to swing that. He sure as hell couldn't just come out with, _'hey, my little bro's an overprotective dick and wants to judge you, wanna come eat my shitty cooking and sit through three hours of being picked apart emotionally?'_ Because, yeah, thats a fun mc'fucking conversation to have. Not.

No way in hell Lust loved him that much. If at all.

On top of all of that, Red was already sore with how tense he's gotten, even after that amazing massage. He adored his sweetheart to death, he really did, but it was _maddening_ walking on eggshells around Dance all the time. Red didn't even know what the hell it was he did, but suddenly Dance was watching him like a hawk, as though just waiting for him to make one wrong move. _Stupid judgmental grease monkey,_ Red didn't know why he still put up with his bullshit.

No. That was a lie. He knew _exactly_ why. There were a number of reasons, actually. The reason he'd give anyone who asked would be that Dance was Lust's pet, and so long as Lust was _his_ pet, he would at least attempt to tolerate and protect his things. Red would never admit out loud that it might also have to do with a vague memory of a song, and the taste of ocean winds, and the glimmer of sapphire and ivory. He would never admit that it might have to do with the way he saw Dance's eyelights constrict in fear that one morning, how that expression twisted like a knife in Red's crusty black SOUL, which he had been certain was long since numb to such pain. He would never admit it was anything but business.

_Because that was all it was: Business. Two people who just had to manage to get along because it was the only option. They were reluctant metamours, nothing more, and that was all they were ever going to be._

Red washed away the acrid lump those thoughts generated in his nonexistent throat with another shot of mustard-laced bourbon, sighing with relief as the dual burn ate away at his bones as well as his SOUL. He pulled himself out of his own pathetic brooding to listen a bit closer to his friends' superficial chatter.

"so i walk into the 7/11, right? i've still got the lampshade on my head and i have no idea where the hell slim hid my pants," Stretch kept going, sending Slim into a fit of drunken giggles. "i start looking around, checking behind the hotdog buns and in the fridges, when i hear someone clear their throat and go, 'i hope this visit is-'" he had to stop, grinning and giggling, to try and compose himself. "'i hope this visit is _brief_ , 'cause we got a 'no shirt' policy that extends to pants!'" Stretch snickered, taking a drink, as Slim fell onto his side in the booth, breathless chortles shaking his lanky frame.

Red shook his head. He couldn't help but wonder how these two idiots survived tying their own shoes, never mind everyday life. They were the type to take jokes too far, and they only fed into the worst of each other's irresponsibility, often with hysterical consequences. Red couldn't begrudge Slim his fun, not now that he had the chance to live the childhood likely denied him (just like it had been denied to boss, and himself, and probably Razz, although from the two minutes Red had spent in Slim's brother's presence, he suspected Razz had hatched fully developed from a fun-hater egg, with a whip in one hand and a sponge in the other).

Stretch continued. "i turn around, wheezing because _thats hilarious_ , and who do i see? its that shifty guy my bro's been dating and gushing about, comic. by this point, i'm kinda, uh..." Stretch paused, taking a lazy drag from his cigarette as he tried to think of how to continue.

"fucked up?" Slim offered, sitting up again, quivering with what must have been some combination of sugar, caffeine, nicotine, and laughter.

Stretch rolled his eyelights, grinning. "yeah, probably. i mean, i _still_ dunno what was in that drink, like hell i'm ever trusting _her_ again, but i must have been somewhat there, since i manage to write down my number and say, 'if you see some pants in here, gimme a call, they're probably mine.' or something, before stumbling out to try the next store. i'm three blocks down the street, getting chased by some old lady throwing cats at me 'cause i mistook an apartment for a mall, when i get a text with a picture of my pants, taped onto a slab of meat hanging in a freezer!!"

Red looks at Slim, raising a bone brow. "i thought yer goal was t' get in his pants yerself, not stuff 'm with strange meat."

Slim snickered, his false teeth glinting in the dim light. "tha funny parts that tha 7/11 aint got no meat freezer. swiped that meet from tha neighborin' butcher 'n stuck it in tha freezer where they hide tha good beer!"

"yer both worse 'n my fuckin' students," Red snorted, but even he was grinning a little. As juvenile as these two were, he could appreciate their humor (when it wasn't drenched in puns).

"so that was our week. how about you? where did you hide out?" Stretch asked.

"yeah. radio silence fer a week. almost started ta worry," Slim hummed.

Red grinned broadly. "put my sweetheart in a collar 'n then spent th' rest o' th' week takin' real good care o' him. stayed 'n that fancy ass 5TT hotel. tacky as fuck, but th' food was good 'n th' bed was comfortable."

"teach tha poor sucker whose boss, huh? hope that works out fer ya. hate to hear ya got a brat, too," Slim drawled, only to get shoved by Stretch.

"what do you mean, too?" Stretched demanded playfully.

"i mean," Slim purred, slinking closer to Stretch and hanging on him with all the coordination of a drunken koala (a feat Red would never understand, given he knew damn well Slim was sober as a funeral), "that yer a silver-sucking spoiled brat what needs disciplined."

"welp," Stretch wheezed, smiling too wide and glowing brighter than his mild buzz would account for, "ain't i lucky you're silver-tongued, then?"

Red averted his gaze, finishing off his bourbon. He thought, after a week of constant attention, he'd be over that petty jealousy that welled up from watching another couple's PDA. The reality was he only felt even more frustrated. Frustrated and concerned and then pissed at himself for being both when he had _absolutely no goddamn reason to be_.

It was about that moment he felt it- _someone had touched what was his, and they wanted to touch it more._ Red bristled, a warning growl erupting from his chest at the abrupt intrusion on his territory.

The noise startled his friends, Stretch more than Slim, who only gave him a deadpanned stare with the slightest crook of his brow ridge. "was that really necessary?" Stretch asked, indignant.

Red ignored them both as he pulled out his phone, hitting speed dial. _He'd give it three rings. Three chances before he shortcut over there and ripped their fucking throat out for having the balls to touch HIS-_

The calling buzz cut off. "heya, sweetheart," Lust's voice purred over the receiver. "can i help you?"

"so yer at th' strip club without me now?" Red asked, trying to make his voice sound playful, humorous, even though something dark and hungry pounded in his marrow for gratuitous violence and righteous retribution. "everythin' fine over there? nobody gettin' too handsy?"

Lust's musical chuckle answered him. "just a misunderstanding. but, ya know, if ya don't believe me, you could always join us..? i'm having lunch with my bro and i'm sure he'd love to meet you, too~"

Red felt some of his worry ease. "bro, huh? wait- what d' ya mean, 'too'? some'ne else there?"

"oh sure! dance came! we're having a nice meet up!" Red could feel Lust give a few gentle tugs to the leather, softening him up further. "thats not a problem, though, right? will you come? please~?"

Red clicked his teeth. "...nah. think i'll pass. plans 'n all that." Dance was probably more than enough company for Lust at the moment, and Red would rather not push whatever one of Dance's buttons was on a hair trigger. As long as they- _Lust_ was safe, that was the important thing.

Besides, if he left now, as pissed as he was, he might not be able to control himself, and that wouldn't be fun for anyone (except maybe Red).

Red could hear the pout in Lust's breathing. "alright. see you tomorrow?"

Red did a few calculations in his head. "yeah. t'morrow. might be a bit late tho."

"see ya then, sweetie," Lust hummed. "be safe?"

"ain't i always?" Red smirked, feeling his face warm because he could feel the way his own smile softened, and wasn't that just the dumbest picture for the goofballs next to him to see?

Red hung up, looking back at his smoke buddies, who were staring at him with inscrutable looks. "what?!" he snapped, glaring, trying to replace his countenance with enough menace to overwrite the last few minutes.

Slim and Stretch exchanged looks. Slim smirked wider. "damn. guy must be a real winner ta get ya ta look like that."

"cant wait to meet him," Stretch agreed, far too much genuine emotion in his words.

Red scowled more. "shut th' fuck up 'n get me a fuckin' drink."

He only got wider smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Yes, Lust, admit it! ADMIT IT~! You wuv dem! <3
> 
> ~ Dance has issues with his brother and its kinda cute he's calling Lust for help
> 
> ~ Pink, omg, why (syke i know why its cuz he's a fucking ham)
> 
> ~ Grillby dont do it don't do it- too late
> 
> ~ oh red is that how we're gonna play it so boss isn't allowed to be mad when lust touches your collar but when someone goes and grabs lust's its murder time? hypocrite~ <3
> 
> ~ red why do i think you're having a bad idea™ you should not be doing math right now why are you doing math


	15. Unexpected Behavior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of a phone call, a bonus change in perspective, lunch with Pink, and the return of a car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like 50% filler tbh and its crap but have it

After Lust hung up the phone, feeling both cared for and disappointed, he smiled at Grillby. "is your hand okay?"

Grillby looked down at his still discolored fingers, flexing them. The flames there slowly started to return to the usual healthy hue, although Grillby still looked shaken. "Yes... But what _was_ that?"

Lust grinned. "both of my datemates are a bit protective, but red is especially concerned about my safety. he rigged this to ward off unwanted attention. sorry again, sweetie, it sometimes glitches out and reacts to a threat even though there isn't one."

"Is it hurting you?!" Grillby asked, alarmed.

Lust laughed. "oh no~ quite the contrary~" he tugged on his collar with two fingers, a pleased rumble quivering in his ribs at the welcome spark of Red's magic on his vertebrae. "feels pretty good to me~"

Lust figured he'd neglect to mention some of the collar's other features. He'd almost forgotten about the location-tracking bit until Red had let slip that he knew where Lust was. Lust didn't mind, of course (he'd agreed to it, and if he ever wanted his space from Red, he could take it off any time he wanted, _Red had made sure of that_ ). If the looks on Grillby's and Dance's faces were any indication, both of them would overreact about it, and Lust honestly didn't want to explain it when he knew they'd have questions he probably wouldn't be able to answer.

Dance pulled Lust closer, side eyeing the collar, his expression confused and wary underneath his cracked mask of contented apathy. Dance's hand tentatively came up, poking at the soft leather with a hesitant finger. Lust felt a responsive surge in Red's energy, but it didn't react as it had with Grillby. Dance hooked the same finger around the collar, a full body shiver running through him as he undoubtedly felt the same steady thrum of Red's essence that Lust had so quickly become accustomed to as the norm.

A welcome norm. A comfortable norm. A relief.

Grillby and Paps both watched on, Grillby with an increasingly uncomfortable, almost hurt expression, Papyrus with an increasingly amused one. Lust looked back to the bartender, smiling reassuringly. "see?"

"Datemates..?" Grillby asked quietly, like he just realized the words had left Lust's mouth.

"oh! yes! red and i are dating! turns out he's actually a big teddybear. and this is dance, my other boyfriend!" Lust nuzzled into Dance's tense shoulder, covering his hand on Lust's collar with his own, squeezing gently. "dance, this is my old pal, grillby. he's always been there when i needed help."

Dance looked up at Grillby again, his easy smile returning. "nice to meet ya." he held out his hand, the one not still slung around Lust's shoulder, fingers curled around the collar.

When Grillby shook Dance's hand, there was no whoopee cushion.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dance," Grillby answered, his smile bright and eager, though Lust could see the lecherous, hungry spark in his eyes. He could guess what his old friend was thinking about.

The idea of a three-way wasn't unappealing, if Lust were honest with himself. It was a shame Dance's stiff (yet still graceful, _so graceful_ it was only after seeing him truly relaxed that Lust could tell the difference) posture indicated he was _not_ anywhere near the vicinity of open to the idea.

 _But that was to be expected, wasn't it?_ The real shame was how greedy Lust was. Looking at Grillby, _his Grillby_ , the elemental that had been there through all his drunken shenanigans and all his heat-induced idiocy, still feeling the residual warmth of his hands and his arms around him, Lust couldn't really deny he was still in love. They were still friends, _good, good friends,_ and Lust knew any additions to those feelings were one-sided at best, no matter how often Grillby had carried his limp body home at 3 AM; no matter how many times he let him stay the night in the back room, in his lap between opening and closing; no matter how many times Grillby had pinned him to the wall of his pristine bathroom, and the two of them had fogged up the mirrors gasping each other's names.

"WHY DON'T YOU TWO GO SIT DOWN WHILE I HELP MR GRILLBY CARRY ALL OF OUR DRINKS?" Paps offered, ever the helpful one.

Dance let go of Grillby's hand, smiling up at him. "i'll have a virgin mojito, watermelon flavor if you got it. and some ketchup?"

"make that the same for me," Lust hummed, thinking it sounded delicious and unusually fitting as he guided Dance towards the booth he had shared with Red for so many wonderful nights. "put everything on my tab!" he called over his shoulder.

When they sat down, Dance's grip on Lust's collar tightened, and Lust felt himself pulled even closer. Surprised, Lust looked into his datemate's eyelights, which were boring unwaveringly into the recesses of his SOUL, a glint of calculating gold twinkling just behind those pristine white pinpricks. Lust shivered, going pliant in his arms, purring as he was hit with the feeling of waterfalls and ocean winds. "can i help you~?" he asked, unable to stop the smile on his face. _Why was Dance so cute when he was serious?_

Dance responded by bringing his frontal bone to Lust's, followed by his teeth, sockets drifting shut for a moment before fixing back on him. He didn't say a word, which was fine by Lust. It only meant Lust could snuggle closer, relax further into the gentle affections, and pretend it meant what he wanted it to mean.

* * *

Papyrus leaned on the bartop, waiting patiently as the (understandably) shaken bartender mixed the drinks with a dispassionate lack of his usual flair. Usually, Papyrus would have been a bit more sympathetic, especially given how deeply he could empathize with the elemental's latest predicament. But Papyrus had seen, watched, how Grillby's unusually strong aversion to commitment, his seeming need to keep things casual, had torn his older brother apart and slowly stripped away his confidence.

Papyrus wasn't ignorant of the fact that the gradual return of that very confidence correlated strongly with the arrival of those datemates into his life.

There was a mild tension in the air between them, he and the elemental. Papyrus happily let him stew, swaying his hips to the beat of the club's bass-heavy music as he pretended to peruse the menu, his balance managed by his one elbow braced on the grainy surface while the index of his other hand daintily followed along with his vision.

"...I missed my chance, didn't I?" Grillby finally muttered, wry bitterness making his usually energetic flames smolder a dull burnt sienna along the edges.

"YOU DID NOT MISS YOUR CHANCE," Papyrus reassured him. "YOU DID LITTLE WHEELIE TRICKS AROUND IT, THEN SPED OFF IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION, ONLY TO LOOP BACK AND HOPE IT WAS STILL THERE WHERE YOU LEFT IT AND NOT SWIPED UP BY SOMEONE ELSE." Papyrus smiled wider. "I SUPPOSE THIS SHOULD BE A LESSON TO YOU TO NEVER LEAVE YOUR VALUABLES UNATTENDED."

"You know I care about him," Grillby defended weakly, setting the first mojito down before starting up on the second.

"YES, _I_ DO. BUT _I_ AM NOT THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO KNOW, NOW AM I?" Papyrus reminded him cheerfully. "DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE? HOW JUST THINKING ABOUT THOSE TWO MADE HIM FEEL?"

"Yes..." Grillby admitted with a reluctant sigh.

"THAT IS THE SAME FACE HE USED TO MAKE ABOUT YOU, YOU KNOW."

"Now you're just being cruel," the elemental remarked.

"I AM A VERY CRUEL GUY," Papyrus admitted readily. "OR AT LEAST I CAN BE. ESPECIALLY WHEN A CERTAIN SOMEONE HAS NOBODY TO BLAME BUT THEMSELVES."

Grillby chuckled, shaking his head as he set the second drink down. Papyrus snagged a nearby tray, carefully putting both drinks on it. "BUT I AM ALSO MERCIFUL. LUCKY FOR YOU. I AM CERTAIN YOU HAVE LEARNED YOUR LESSON. AND MAYBE, IF YOU TALK TO HIS DATEMATES, YOU CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT. ALTHOUGH GIVEN HOW _PRO-_ ," Papyrus had to pause, covering his teeth as he fought down laughter. " _P-'PROTECTIVE'_ THEY ARE OF HIM, YOU MAY HAVE SOME NEGOTIATING TO DO!"

"Like Sans needs protection," Grillby huffed, amused himself, carefully mixing the icecream into the malt drink he knew Papyrus favored.

"ITS CUTE. I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET THE OTHER ONE, TOO," Papyrus admitted. "WHATS HE LIKE?"

"I thought he was a prude," Grillby admitted, putting the malt on the tray. "Stand-off-ish, irresponsible, maybe a little dangerous. He started coming in late at night, around when last call goes out at the other bars. I figured he was a lush who didn't like being cut off, but he never made a scene and paid his tab off every week, so who was I to turn down good business?" Grillby started frying up a batch of french fries, looking a little more like himself again. "Weird thing was, he wanted nothing to do with the other customers, hardly paid attention to the show or the serving staff. Made it _very clear_ he didn't want any special services, if you get my meaning. Didn't think Sans was his type. Heck, didn't think he _had_ one."

"WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ASSUMING!" Papyrus cackled, picking up the tray as soon as the fries and ketchup bottles had joined the drinks there. "THANK YOU, MR GRILLBY."

With that, Papyrus carried the drinks over, hoping he'd given his brother enough private time with his datemate to smooth over the coiling tension in him. He still wanted to get to know him better.

* * *

Dance settled the bitter, cloying envy in his ribcage by again smothering Lust in attention; gentle, predatory butterfly kisses and cruel, lingering touches reminding his jealous SOUL that he had _absolutely no reason_ to be responding so viscerally to a single attempt at seduction that Lust had ignored and Red's (admittedly well placed) trap had repelled. Lust was here, and was his and was safe.

_Dance wasn't thinking about how the same jealousy that had once also been directed at Red, and should have been clawing at the inside of his skull and trying to wring a panic attack out of him, was curiously absent._

Instead, he settled comfortably in the booth, tucking Lust against his side as close as possible, and waited until Pink joined them with their drinks and appetizer.

The three of them had a pleasantly stress-free lunch. Pink asked him about his life, what his hobbies were and what he did for a living. Dance found out Pink was working part-time as a 'barista' (the way he said it, with a smile and a wink, implied there was more to the job than mixing drinks, but Dance wasn't going to push for details) to pay his way through engineering school. He was going for a masters in robotics so he could be more useful to his boyfriend TonTon (a ghost monster stuck in a robot body). Pink was surprisingly well learned already, and when he found out Dance was already an engineering PhD, he pulled out a set of blueprints from _seemingly nowhere_ and asked for advise about a little glitch that had been bugging his mate.

Dance offered what suggestions he could (after all, without looking at the actual hardware, he couldn't be certain), which Pink picked up on quickly. The two of them ended up talking shop for the bulk of two hours, with Lust smiling and listening quietly at his side. He felt sheepish about seemingly excluding Lust from the conversation, but when he went to apologize, Lust only kissed him and encouraged them to keep going.

Pink took a picture of the exchange, giggling about it.

Dance and Pink exchanged numbers, Dance offering to come help if they ever needed a second pair of hands.

When lunch ended (and Dance again found he had consumed an ungodly amount of those watermelon drinks), Pink bid them both farewell with warm hugs, and Dance offered to walk Lust home.

Dance wished he could just take Lust's hand and shortcut to his apartment (all this walking was beginning to ruin his lazy reputation), but he didn't know how he was supposed to break that little trick out to him. _Maybe..?_

"hey, uh, babe?" Dance asked, after they had already walked half a block, hand in (glorious) hand. Dance wondered dimly when it became so natural to address Lust by that pet name. He couldn't remember when he started using it, but it fell from his teeth as natural as breathing, like it was meant to be used that way, to refer to Lust and nobody else.

"yeah?" Lust answered without missing a beat, inclining his head towards Dance and watching him from the corner of his sockets, an easy grin tugging at his teeth. He didn't even stop walking, as though responding to that nickname was as natural to him as anything. The cerebral elation of that gradual realization had Dance's face burning, which he hoped didn't translate to any kind of humiliating light show.

Dance gulped. "i might know a shortcut back to your place... wanna see?"

Lust paused, his stride slowing. "sure... lead the way."

Dance tightened his grip on Lust's hand, pulling him towards an empty alleyway. When he was sure they were both out of sight, he pulled Lust to his chest and sidestepped, sending them both through the gaps in space-time into Lust's livingroom. Dance held his breath, looking at Lust, hoping that the reaction wouldn't be...

He didn't know what he wanted. Approval? Acceptance? Indifference would work.

Lust blinked, looked around, then started laughing.

_That was not what Dance had expected._

"whats so funny?" Dance finally asked.

Lust pulled away, grinning as he hooked his thumbs in the pocket of his vest. "don't blink~" he purred, then took a step back, and-

And he was gone.

Dance bristled, sockets widening with alarm. He felt a tap on his shoulder from behind, making him yelp and jump, startled. When he spun to face the source of his fright, warm bone was pressed firmly to his teeth, and warm arms wrapped around his ribcage, pulling him into a kiss that he returned with enthusiasm.

The two of them eventually found the couch, and Dance texted his brother that he wouldn't be home for dinner tonight as he reclined longways over the cushions and Lust snuggled on top of him. The whirlwind of emotions the day had broke upon them both finally caught up to them, and it wasn't long before Dance found himself drifting into a comfortable doze, lulled by the gentle thrum of Lust's steady purring and his ever-present body heat.

* * *

Dance would have said that the next two weeks were perfect, had they occurred a month ago. He went to work, had lunch with Lust, finished work, joined Lust at his apartment for a few movies, then went home for dinner with his brother. Through it all, Dance didn't see a single trace of Red. He didn't think anything of it for the first few days, and he was only mildly suspicious after the first week, but by that second saturday, he knew what was going on: Red was avoiding him.

Lust was seeing him every day, he always showed up after Dance had gone home, and stayed with Lust overnight. Twice, Dance tried staying later (up until midnight) to catch Red before he went home. Both times, Red never showed up until after Dance was gone. _That fucking asshole was avoiding him._

Dance stomped angrily out of the 7/11, sucking down another convenient can of strawberry-watermelon tea (a new extension to his recent addiction, which was thankfully easier to come across and also came in tea bags he could brew at home -- his brother was ecstatic he was drinking something other than ketchup now) as he rounded the corner into the alley and stepped right into Lust's livingroom.

Lust was on the phone, his face lit up excitedly. "sure, what is it?"

Dance crept closer, holding a finger to his teeth, then pointing to the phone, followed by Lust's collar, hoping Lust would understand what he was asking. Lust caught onto his meaning right away, ( _dear god, how lucky was he, to have such an insightful, clever monster as his boyfriend?!_ ) nodding that, _yes, it was Red on the phone _. Dance made a phone-like gesture with his hand, a silent request, and with quiet, careful motions, Lust put the phone on speaker so they could both hear.__

Red's rough voice came through, only partially distorted by static. "-know its short notice, 'n ya can say no, but i'mma have dinner with boss t'night 'n wanted t' know if ya maybe, i dunno, wanted t' join us? ya don't gotta, i get if that ain't somethin' yer intersted in, 'r ya rather hang with th' grease monkey..."

Dance blinked at Lust, who looked positively elated by the invitation. "i'd love to!" He answered, looking like he wanted to hug something. "is this gonna be a formal occasion? should i dress up?"

"its just dinner at his apartment, nothin' big. ya don't gotta get dolled up. i sure as fuck won't be." Red chuckled, then went oddly quiet. "now, uh, here's th' favor. since dance is... since he's yer pet 'n all," he continued ( _and Dance did not have the cognitive processes necessary to wrap his head around where the hell Red got THAT idea from, or why he was bringing it up now, or what that particular quality in his intonation meant when he said it_ ), "boss' invite technically extends t' him, so, uh, can ya just drop th' idea on 'm when ya let 'm know what yer doin' t'night, so i can say he got th' invite 'n declined without havin' t' lie t' boss?"

Lust looked at Dance. Dance looked back. "um... what would happen if he came?"

"i'm guessin' shit would get awkward, boss would make 'm uncomfortable, 'n he'd insult my cookin'," Red replied with more open honesty than Dance can ever remember hearing from him. He didn't miss how Red was slurring some of his consonants more than usual. _Was he drunk? Was this what he was like when he and Lust were alone?_

"do you not want him to come?" Lust asked tentatively.

"ain't 'bout me wantin' shit," Red grumbled. "just, uh, can ya swing it?"

"i think i can manage," Lust reassured him, his voice taking on that smooth, calming tone that set Dance's nerves at ease. "leave it to me, sweetheart, and i'll see ya tonight. six-thirty?"

"yup. see ya then." There were a few seconds of continued static feedback, then the line went dead. Lust closed his phone, looking at Dance. "so? gonna rsvp?"

"he's been avoiding me for two weeks," was the first thing that came out of Dance's mouth.

"and... you don't like that?" Lust asked, sounding surprised and... pleased?

"i don't care," Dance lied, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shrugging. After all, how was he supposed to say _he cared a lot_ without being able to justify _why_? Lust didn't need to know about this weird, stupid crush that Dance was never, ever going to act on because _nothing would ever come of it,_ and his SOUL and his head needed to just shut up about it and try focusing on the stable, functional, fulfilling relationship he had with Lust. "just an observation."

Lust nodded, accepting his (bullshit) explanation without question or comment, although there was a shimmer in his sockets that made Dance think he could see right through him. "well, i don't know about you, but i'm a little nervous about meeting 'boss'. he sounds kinda intimidating." Lust put his phone in his pocket, then settled his arms on Dance's shoulders, straight so that his elbows were cradled in that space behind his clavicle, the tips of his distal phalanges brushing against the back of Dance's skull as he curled and uncurled his fingers in Dance's blind spot. "i'll understand if you don't want to, but if you could come with me? for moral support? i'd appreciate it~"

Dance made a show of thinking about it, tried to rearrange his face to show ample, believable reluctance, before heaving a great sigh. "alright. but only because you asked."

Lust beamed up at him, victory lighting up his face along with his magic.

* * *

When six-thirty rolled around, so did a shiny red lamborghini.

Lust got a text from Red saying he was out front. He and Dance left the apartment on foot, looking over the railing to see the car, shimmering in the sunset in all it's sleek, two-seater glory, with Red sitting stiffly in the driver's seat.

Dance ground his teeth. _Fucker was so sure he wouldn't show up, he only brought a two-seater car for transport._ He didn't know how to feel about that, except he didn't like it. He also didn't like that he didn't like it. Dance couldn't repress the groan from bubbling out of him, and he found himself hiding his face in his arm against the railing.

"what's wrong?" Lust asked softly, rubbing Dance's back.

Dance thought fast. "thats, uh," he looked back up at Lust, still leaning on the railing. "pretty sure thats the car that fell on me, before, that threw my back out..."

Lust looked down at the car, violet light dusting his maxilla, glowing brighter and brighter until he was blushing vibrantly. He took Dance's hand and led him down the stairs, apparently not interested in sharing the thought that had crept through his mind.

Red looked up at the sound of their approaching footsteps, his face frustratingly unreadable. "didn't think you'd be interested," he said casually, like it _wouldn't have bothered him if Dance hadn't come._

Dance squeezed Lust's hand. "clearly." he walked around to the passenger side, hopping into the seat and looking at Lust. "you'll have to sit in my lap, if that's alright."

"no argument from me~" Lust hummed, gracefully vaulting over the car door and into Dance's arms, before settling snugly between his legs. Dance wrapped his arms around him, pointedly not looking at Red as they situated themselves in the car.

A minute passed, then two, and the car did not move. Dance finally looked over at Red, who was staring back at him with that large, single crimson eyelight. "well? aren't we going somewhere?"

"not 'till yer fuckin' seatbelts fastened," Red deadpanned.

Dance froze, his mind coming to a halt as he processed and re-processed the words, blinking dumbly back at Red, certain he could not have heard him right.

Lust broke down into a fit of giggles.

Dance slowly, dazed, started to buckle his seatbelt, only now noticing that Red also had his fastened. _He never, ever would have guessed this would happen today._

Red only turned the ignition when Dance was firmly buckled in and Lust was firmly held to his chest.

* * *

Lust had never been more entertained during a car ride in his life. The seat belt comment was only the beginning.

It was obvious after the first five minutes that Dance and Red had vastly different ideas about how one was supposed to drive this car.

"you're going fifteen," Dance commented, finally braking the (admittedly awkward) silence.

"yeah," Red acknowledged.

Dance seemed to wait, as if he expected something to change from that observation alone. When nothing happened, he tried again with, "the speed limits twenty."

"yup," Red answered him.

Again, no change. "this is a lamborghini aventador," Dance said slowly (like that was supposed to mean something).

"yer point?" Red asked, apparently as confused about the name as Lust.

"its. a. sports car." Dance deadpanned. "you're driving. a sports car. five miles. under the speed limit."

"again. yer point?" Red said as he flipped his blinkers on, slowing to a halt at a four way intersection. As he decelerated, he stretched his arm out so it blocked the space between Lust and the dashboard, as if he were worried Lust would go flying from the change in velocity.

"oh my god. what the actual fuck." Dance rumbled as he watched Red wait patiently for traffic to thin, for his chance to make his turn.

"what now?" Red said, shoulders tense and voice coiled with poorly masked irritation.

"you did the mom arm."

"th' what?"

"oh dear god he _did_ ," Lust wheezed out loud, covering his teeth with one hand as he gripped Dance's arm with the other for some kind of grounding, shaking as he laughed.

"th' fucks so funny?!" Red demanded to know as he made the turn and started down the next street.

"you did. the fucking. mom arm," Dance repeated. "you drive like toriel when she has kids in the car."

"i do _fuckin' not!_ "

"i've seen you peel out the driveway going from zero to eighty in point five seconds, i _know you can fucking drive_ , so what the _hell is this?!_ "

"thats when its just me in th' fuckin' car, asshole!" Red snapped. "shut th' fuck up 'n let me do this!"

"i would if you would actually put some pressure on the gas!!"

"there's a fuckin' speed limit!"

"which you're still going five under!"

Lust was desperately glad he didn't technically need to breath, because if he did, he was certain he would be dying. Dance and Red argued all the way to the other side of town, where Red pulled up to a high security apartment complex. He had to lean out and enter a key code to get the gate to open, then drove into the garage to park the car.

Lust jumped out, waiting for Dance to wrestle himself free of the seat belt as he looked around at the other expensive looking cars also parked there, finding himself more than a little intimidated. He was glad he 'persuaded' Dance to come along now. This was nothing like he was expecting from Red's brother.

Red shoved his claws into his pockets, pointedly not looking at either of them as he rummaged for something, eventually pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one up. He took a long drag, holding the smoke in as if tasting it, before exhaling. He stuck the stick between his teeth, gesturing for Lust and Dance to follow him as he headed out of the garage and towards the elevator (with what Lust could see was obvious reluctance). Dance scanned the area, and Lust noticed his eyelights linger a bit longer in certain directions. When Lust followed his line of sight, he caught the faint shimmer of metal and glass near the ceiling; security cameras.

Lust casually slipped up to Dance and gripped his hand, before pulling him along until Lust could slip under Red's arm. Red side eyed Dance, as if gauging his reaction. Dance was conveniently looking in another direction. Red must have seen enough to satisfy whatever arbitrary criteria he now had for _'it is okay to proceed,'_ because he then used his free hand to input another security code into the keypad by the elevator, letting them all inside.

Lust made sure to stay close during the elevator ride, careful not to comment about Red's nervousness as they went up to the 17th floor.


	16. Meet the Family (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance and Red have a stressful day and Lust gets a present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is GARBAGE XP

Red didn't want to do this. He knew he had to, that it was protocol, it was standard, it was _expected_ , but he didn't want to. He didn't want to because _nothing about this situation was standard_.

Yes, Lust wore his collar, lust was his pet, Lust was _his_ , and yes there had been the customary exchange of food, but Dance threw _everything_ out of order. Dance had _demanded_ food of _him_ first (not presented an offering, and even though Red had since gotten food out of Dance, that didn't exactly make it any less weird), and even though Dance was Lust's pet, he wasn't wearing a collar from Red _or_ Lust. Plus, Dance didn't trust Red. That made this 'business', not 'family'.

But Dance trusted Lust and Lust was Red's pet so that also kind of _did_ make this 'family'.

It honestly gave Red a headache.

He tried to put it off, skipping the original date with a lame excuse that Lust had other obligations that day, hoping that it would be enough to buy him time to figure out how to handle things. But of course _that_ didn't work, because _god forbid_ the Great and Terrible Papyrus bend the rules! Boss just kept harping at him, over text, over the phone, showing up at his shitty apartment even though Red had told him time and again _it was dangerous_ and _he needed to stay the fuck away._

Red tried the 'give Dance space' idea, shadowing him on and off, trying to figure out how he ticked, where his security was weakest, what needed to be done, what Red could do to appease him. What Red found was that Dance was meticulous about security, with some pleasantly high quality locks on his doors and a good habit of never using the same dingy alley twice in any given week to make his shortcuts. And Red was _ecstatic_ Dance used his shortcuts. Harder to trace, harder to follow, harder to get his scrawny ass caught. Red didn't think anyone but Slim and Himself would be able to catch him in a fair chase.

Not that Red would ever hedge his bets on _fair_ , but it did wonders for his piece of mind.

So _both_ Lust and Dance could shortcut, and now they were doing it with far more frequency, usually straight into Lust's apartment. Another check towards safety. Red considered asking Lust if he himself could do that as well, but that meant admitting that _he_ could shortcut, and...

And Dance was scared enough of him as it was. Letting him know what else he could do would only exacerbate that. Red should know. He's used that same trick purposefully to garner such an effect. That was Red's _modus operandi_ : preventative intimidation was easier (read: lazier) than an actual drag-down knockout fight.

Too fucking bad all of Red's usual methodologies were the exact opposite of what he needed right now. Right now he needed a way to get skittish, suspicious, skeptical, salty Dance to actually give him a chance to prove Red would never show him the business end of his proverbial gun (assuming he stayed, assuming _Lust_ stayed, assuming everything didn't come crashing down, and left Red another fractured, broken mess that Boss once again had to pick up after, because _isn't this why Red's the one wearing a collar now, isn't this why he's not the one steering the ship, Boss would have figured out a solution already, and if Red wasn't a complete fuck-up he'd have this fixed and already brought them both to meet his brother_ ).

So Red gives Lust a last minute call, hoping against hope that Lust and Dance already have plans, hoping that even if Lust wants to come (although why would he?) Dance won't and he can dodge this bullet full of shrapnel.

Red ends up having to _bite_ the damn bullet, though, because of course, like always, Lust is ready willing and eager to do whatever Red has in mind.

And _oh fucking joy_ Dance came along too. Just what Red _didn't_ need.

Red had to keep a tight reign on himself during the entire irritating drive, and all the way through the elevator ride. He led the other two to the door of Boss' suite, and was about to knock before turning around, "hey, grease monkey, get behind me."

"why?" Dance asked, and Red couldn't help noticing the way his grip tightened on Lust's hand.

"get behind me 'r lust unless ya wanna hang on my arm 'nstead," Red tried to reason with him, wondering why Dance always had to make thing _difficult_.

Dance looked like he wanted to argue, but Lust ( _bless his sweetheart to death_ ) quieted him with a kiss and a smile and a pathetic little "please~?" that Red was sure he would have caved for just as quickly. Dance shot Red a dirty look ( _damn was he pissed at him today -- what did Red do now?! he'd purposely avoided him just to keep OFF his bad side! was there no pleasing this guy?!_ ) before side stepping behind Lust, not letting go of his hand.

Red made sure the arrangement was fitting; collarless Dance behind Lust, physical contact, no weapons. He took another drag of his cigarette, sighing with his next smoke-filled exhale before knocking in the agreed upon pattern.

The sound of half a dozen locks being unfastened heralded the door being wrenched open, revealing Red's little brother (who was certainly not so little anymore). "heya boss," Red greeted, smiling with a relieved fondness. It was always a good feeling to see him doing so well, even when he was being a pain in Red's proverbial ass.

Boss was (thankfully) dressing down today, wearing a generic skull print sleeveless T-shirt and ripped black jeans. He still had his iconic blood-red scarf around his neck, but his usual matching three-inch bitch heels (which Red could see were positioned strategically by the door) had been replaced with a pair of black timberland boots. Red was pleased he had considered his suggestion after the Floorboard Incident.

Red was less pleased when Boss snatched his cigarette clean out of his mouth and crushed it, smothering the burning cherry until it died.

"damn it, i just lit that," Red growled.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I DON'T LET YOUR NASTY ASS SMOKING IN MY APARTMENT," Was all Boss said, before stepping back to let them all in.

Red clicked his teeth, but came in anyway, slow and easy to let Boss know he wasn't worried about the other two. Boss looked down at them like he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. Red decided as long as he kept his big mouth shut, things might actually-

"WHERE IS HIS COLLAR?" Boss asked, pointed to Dance.

Red swallowed down a groan. _Never mc'fucking mind._ Tonight was going to be awful. "he don't got one, boss."

"THE FUCK YOU MEAN HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE?!"

"he don't got no collar," Red repeated. "he ain't _my_ pet. he's lust's pet. and lust ain't given him no collar."

Boss turned to Lust. " _THIS_ IS YOUR PET?"

"yeah?" Red pulled Lust a bit closer, bending the arm he had around Lust's shoulders so he could hook one of his claws around the collar and tug gently. "see? mine." Red could feel Lust's body heat rise, see a faint dusting of his magic light up his face, at his words. He smirked to himself, enjoying how his sweetheart reveled in being _his_ , like it was a _good thing_.

He ignored the way Dance glared angrily at him over Lust's head.

Boss bent down, studying Lust more closely. "WHAT IS HIS TALENT?"

Red couldn't suppress the warning growl that rumbled in his chest. He knew Boss would act like this. He _knew_ it. Sure, Red also knew it came from a somewhat well-meaning place, but _damn it_ not everything had to be advantageous or strategic, and Red shouldn't have to fucking validate why he was dating Lust. He felt his whole body tense, and he was _this close_ to ripping into his brother about how he needed to _back the fuck off_ or he was going to take his datemate and leave, when he felt Lust tug on his coat sleeve.

Red looked down.

"didn't ya say you were cooking tonight, sweetie?" Lust asked, pleasantly. "how about you go start cooking, and your brother and i can get to know each other, hmm?"

Red hesitated, not certain he wanted to leave them alone with Boss at this point. Lust must have noticed his reluctance, because he reached up, grabbed firmly onto Red's collar, and pulled him down enough for a skeletal kiss, stealing Red's breath from him and knocking him off balance emotionally. "the sooner we finish dinner, the sooner we can go somewhere more _homey_ for desert~"

Red groaned, pulling away. "th' fuck i say about yer fuckin' puns?" He complained, even though he could feel the warmth of his magic flooding his face. "fine. dinner comin' up. don't cause no trouble."

"scouts honor~" Lust hummed.

"like we're the troublemakers," Dance muttered, crossing his arms as he leaned closer to Lust, giving Boss the stink eye.

Red gave Lust one more look, his sockets burning with the weight of his hopeless resignation and his teeth stretched into a bittersweet smile, before shucking off his coat and throwing it to the couch. He didn't look at Boss as he headed for the kitchen, rolling up the sleeves of his sweater before getting to work.

He wouldn't blame Lust (or Dance) if they weren't there when Red was done.

* * *

Lust watched as Red shuffled off to the kitchen ( _and wasn't that just a sight, so domestic, so appealing in a way Lust couldn't quite put his finger on_ ). He waited until Red was out of sight before turning his attention regretfully back to 'Boss'.

Lust had felt the tension that had been coiling in Red during that exchange. He'd been close to snapping. Lust had never seen Red snap, and he didn't want to, especially at his brother, and even less so over him. Lust almost felt like he had been struck with an epiphany. _Lust didn't need Boss' approval._ He had Red's, and Dance's, and his own brother. He didn't need to prove _anything_ to Boss, and neither did Red.

Lust was here to meet Red's family, family that Red cared about and, whether he wanted to admit it or not, wanted support from. If Boss didn't want to give that, it wasn't going to hurt Lust, it was going to hurt Red.

"i suppose this is your subtle way of saying you don't approve of me dating your brother?" Lust finally said, soft so as to keep Red from hearing.

Boss blinked back at him. "DATING??" he parroted, equally quiet, sounding genuinely confused.

"yes?" Lust was starting to think there was a misunderstanding.

"THAT WOULD EXPLAIN THE..." Boss waved his hand in Lust's general direction. "TOUCHING AND SUCH." Boss crossed his arms, averting his gaze just those few degrees to one side as the tension in his jaw tightened (a tell Lust might have missed if it wasn't one he apparently shared with Red, one denoting irritation, usually coupled with some kind of internal debate). "THAT CHANGES THINGS," he muttered to himself, before he gestured to the couch. "SIT DOWN SO I MAY INTERROGATE YOU AS MY BROTHER'S POTENTIAL MATE."

Lust felt his smile quirk upward at the word 'potential' (given that the more accurate descriptor would be 'kinetic'), but happily guided Dance to sit with him on the couch as Boss settled in the opposite chair.

* * *

Dance was nervous. He didn't need to look very hard at 'Boss' to know he was dangerous. He was covered in scars, and while only his arms were bare at the moment Dance did not doubt that they littered the entirety of his rather large body. The three long cracks bisecting his one socket, like an animal had scratched him hard enough to saw through bone, coupled with the scratches and discoloration of his limbs, told a story of violence.

The issue was that Dance couldn't feel any of this guy's LV. _None_ of it. It was just like before, back in the hotel with Red, when Red had somehow masked his presence, only Boss had been doing it since before they had even arrived. It was eery, like looking at a hologram instead of a live person. Dance repressed the shudder that tried to wrack his frame. _Could all of them do this?_ Just _turn it off_ and walk around _like it never happened?!_ Hide, until the last possible moment, when it was too late?! _How was Dance supposed to sleep at night knowing there could be someone like Boss hiding under his bed just waiting for him to let his guard down and-_

Dance was knocked back out of that terrifying train of thought when Lust pushed him down onto the cushions, and then promptly sat in his lap, like he had been in the car. Dance wrapped his arms around Lust, clinging to his warmth for support as he discreetly did a few breathing exercises to calm down, relaxing as he nuzzled into the neon blue fluff of Lust's fringe and breathed in the smell of sweat and home.

When Dance looked up again, Boss was sitting cross-legged in the chair opposite him, his hands folded in his lap as he looked the two of them up and down, his expression as impassive and cold as that of a butcher gauging the quality of a slab of meat.

"WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY BROTHER?" Boss finally started.

Lust threaded his fingers with Dance's squeezing gently. "thats a bit more direct than i expected," he admitted out loud.

"I PREFER THE DIRECT APPROACH WHEN POSSIBLE," Boss explained. "I DO NOT HONESTLY CARE WHAT YOUR MOTIVES ARE, SO LONG AS SANS AND I ARE AWARE OF THEM, AND HE IS SATISFIED WITH THE TERMS. IS THIS SIMPLY YOUR WAY OF PAYING FOR HIS PROTECTION?"

"what?" Lust's voice went oddly flat, and Dance bristled. _Was this fucker actually suggesting what he thought he was suggesting?!_

Lust chuckled, reclining back further into Dance. "i don't need red's protection~ i just want his company. he's a sweetheart, and he makes me laugh."

Dance held Lust a bit tighter. _Damn right Lust doesn't need Red's protection. Lust has him. Even if Dance isn't a hulking brute of a fighter he can still get Lust to safety. Red's intimidating bulk is just a bonus._

"I SEE. IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE _HIM_ THEN?" Boss inclined his head to Dance.

Lust looked back at Dance, smiling fondly, which in turn made Dance smile back at him. "dance here is also a sweetheart, and he makes me feel special. plus, his puns are hilarious."

Boss finally turned his attention to Dance directly. "PUNNERY? YOU DABBLE IN WORDPLAY?"

Dance smiled (hoping it didn't come off as strained as it felt). "in between fixing your car, taking care of lust, and telling red he's an asshole."

Boss went still, then shot to his feet, suddenly looming over Dance and Lust, his arms braced on either side of them, on the back of the couch. Boss' bright vermilion eyelights bore into Dance, cold and calculating in ways Dance didn't care to think about, holding his own gaze as if in a vice grip. Even this close, Dance still couldn't feel the wisping chill of LV he was certain Boss had to be hiding.

"boss?" Red's gruff voice came from behind. Boss looked up over the top of the couch to Red, who had apparently come back from the kitchen to check in on them.

"IS THIS MY MECHANIC?!" Boss demanded. Dance ground his teeth, not sure he liked the idea of being Boss' _anything_ , especially when Boss had never once interacted with him before today.

"uh, kinda?" Dance couldn't see over the back of the couch, but he could hear the shrug in Red's voice, along with the soft shift of semi-damp fabric (perhaps he was drying his hands on a towel? now isn't that a picture Dance wished he could see, _Red in an apron, drying his wet claws off after washing some kinda vegetables, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he slaved and sweat over a stove- what the fuck was his brain playing, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off_ ).

"ARE YOU DATING THIS ONE TOO?" Boss asked.

"no!?!?!" Dance and Red both shouted out at the same time. Dance felt his face burn, so strong he could see the blue of it tinting the back of Lust's skull a pale azure. He hid his face in the back of Lust's shaking shoulders, squeezing him tighter in a wordless chastisement because _this was not the least bit funny how dare he laugh at this?!_

Boss paused. "PITY," was all he said, before thankfully, mercifully, changing the subject.

* * *

Papyrus was no fool.

He could see, right from the moment he had opened the door, how protective his brother was of these two. The sheer strength of the intent shoved into that collar alone would have been enough of a tell, but Sans had strategically positioned himself at the forefront of the door, as if anticipating one of Papyrus' Bad Days™ (which he had to, grudgingly, admit still occurred on occasion), or as if to make absolutely clear that they were both under his protection, collar or not.

Papyrus had to admit it was genius, and surprisingly thoughtful of his usually dim witted and lazy brother. On the other hand, Sans had always been particularly anal about the safety of others, more so than his own self. _Perhaps it wasn't so surprising after all._

Papyrus had been under the impression that his brother had picked up a pet. But two things threw him off. Firstly, there were two of them: one was dressed in garb and spoke with a dialect that strongly identified him with what Papyrus had categorized as the 'purple district', the section of the city where monsters and humans alike behaved promiscuously; the second wore baggy clothes and had a quality to his voice and mannerisms that pinged him as coming from the 'art district', a subsection of the larger 'blue district' that was primarily businesses, the bulk of which were artistic or artisan in nature. The second thing that bothered him was their body language: the purple district monster showed particular affection towards both his brother and the art district monster. Meanwhile, the art district monster was equally protective of the purple district monster while remaining indifferent towards his brother.

They were not falling into the usual paradigms Papyrus had always worked with. Furthermore, he couldn't discern the advantage of having such pets. If they had somehow blackmailed his brother into giving them protection, or this was about money, Papyrus was going to put an end to it.

He was pleasantly surprised (and irritated because _this is the kind of detail that he should of heard from his brother first and foremost, what the fuck Sans_ ) to hear that his brother and the purple district monster one were datemates. That was something he could get behind, assuming it was legitimate. He couldn't help his skepticism (after all, his brother was a drunken slob with a number of addiction issues, hardly a catch by normal standards) about the relationship. He could not, however, find any malice or disingenuousness in the monster before him. He had even been honest about the relationship with the art district monster, implying his brother was also aware.

And then there was the fact the art monster was a mechanic. And not just any mechanic, but his personal favorite mechanic.

Papyrus could admit to himself that he had less than pure motives for supporting a relationship with that mechanic. He was useful. Very, very useful, and had this been back underground, where useful was more valuable than emotional attachments, Papyrus would have snatched him up and collared him himself, then and there.

It didn't take a genius of his caliber, however, to see that such actions were unnecessary anyway.

It also didn't take a genius to see that his brother's chosen pets were woefully ignorant of monster culture. Then again, it seemed like anyone from the blue district was.

Papyrus allowed his interrogation to end, and instead indulged the one apparently called Lust, answering his questions (which were mostly about himself). Papyrus was happy to explain that he was a private detective, that he handled high profile cases and occasionally freelanced as a bodyguard for equally high profile clients. He probed back and found out that Lust was a medical professional (which was not what Papyrus had been expecting, given his origins).

He found out how the three of them met.

They all suffered through Sans' mediocre cooking. Lust was easily impressed, gasping and complimenting the simple dish. Papyrus noticed that the mechanic (Dance? fitting name for an art district monster) was borderline sullen as he ate, shooting his brother inscrutable looks and himself distrustful ones. Papyrus couldn't help but find it annoying and downright disrespectful. Why would Papyrus even allow Dance into his home, never mind allow his brother to _feed him_ , if he was going to attack?

Yes, they were both woefully ignorant of an integral part of monster culture.

How lucky for them that Papyrus had just the solution.

As Sans pulled his coat back on, Papyrus went over to his bookshelf and pulled out a copy of his favorite manual (he always bought two of a good book just so he was prepared for occasions like this). He presented it to Lust. "HERE. CONSIDER IT A PARTING GIFT. YOU WOULD BENEFIT FROM DOING A BIT OF READING."

Lust took the gift with a soft smile. "why thank you!"

"what is it?" Dance asked, looking over Lust's shoulder to read the title aloud. "'a beginners guide to maintaining personal ecological territory' by-"

Sans snapped his head to attention, his body tensing as it always did when he wanted to make a move he knew he could not make (and how curious was it, that there was a move that his brother knew he could not make right now? he couldn't help but wonder what it was and why). "boss, they don't need that garbage."

"IT IS NOT GARBAGE! IT IS EDUCATIONAL!! SOMETHING I WOULD THINK YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD APPRECIATE!" Papyrus quipped goodnaturedly.

"its garbage, 'n a shit read, 'n they won't even like it," Sans argued, moving slowly to go and take the book away from his pet.

Lust playfully darted out of Sans' reach, quickly stuffing the gift into the dimension box in his phone. "a gift is a gift, sweetie. and i wouldn't dream of being ungrateful~"

Sans scowled, huffing in irritation that quickly melted away when Lust settled himself under his arm. "thank you for having us over, boss. it's been a pleasure."

"IT IS A WELCOME RELIEF TO HOST A GUEST WITH ACTUAL FUCKING MANNERS," Papyrus admitted. "PERHAPS I WILL EVEN INVITE YOU BACK."

As the three of them left, and Papyrus again locked up his apartment, he found he didn't entirely dislike the idea. After all, it had been a long time since he saw his brother smile like that.

And if either of those two betrayed his brother? Well... Papyrus wasn't above getting his hands dirty. Thats what gloves were for.

* * *

Dance hated the dinner. He hated it. It tasted delicious and he hated it. It was one more bit of kindling to fuel that _stupid fucking crush_. Red could cook. And his cooking was fantastic. Dance had to carefully force himself to eat slowly, so he didn't scarf the food like a starving man. It didn't help that Red still had his fucking sweater sleeves rolled up, bunching just right around the thickness of his humeri, leaving his radii and ulnae exposed, showing off the scars Dance knew could shimmer like a natural wonder _stop thinking about it you moron why the hell are you thinking about it?!_

Dance turned his attention back to Boss, who in a twisted kind of way helped divert his thoughts by being so unbelievably terrifying. Dance didn't know if he was going to be able to sleep tonight, after meeting a guy like this.

Lust, thank the stars, was more than capable of keeping a pleasant conversation going. He even got Red to join in with a few comments here and there. Of course, as Boss shared more about himself, it only further cemented just how terrifying he was. Not only could he probably crush Dance like a grape, but he could make any investigation into his death disappear. Boss wouldn't just kill him, he'd kill him and _get away with it_.

One upside to the evening was that they seemed to have won Boss' approval? Favor? Indifference? He gave Lust a gift, and it wasn't dangerous.

That book title was still niggling at the back of his mind. _'A Beginners Guide to Maintaining Personal Ecological Territory'_. It sounded like an instruction manual on how to tend to a garden, but there was something about the language that felt familiar.

He shook his head as he got back in the car, bucking his seatbelt before motioning for Lust to get in. Lust settled comfortably in his lap again, and Dance again hid his face in Lust's shoulder, breathing deeply of that taste of home. "mind if i stay the night tonight?"

"do i ever?" Lust purred, his hand rubbing Dance's leg soothingly.

Dance shook his head, his sockets drifting shut as he let go of all the tension he'd had coiling in every joint since they stepped into that apartment. He only distantly noticed Red get in the car and start driving, and only because the smooth, careful ride, coupled with Lust's warmth and the purr of the engine (or was that Lust? or both? he couldn't tell) lulled him into a doze.

Dance only came back partway when the car eased to a full stop in front of Lust's apartment. He couldn't make his body move (couldn't remember why he should bother -- he was warm and comfortable and Lust was right there).

"i think he's still asleep," Lust murmured, a whisper, as if to not wake him. "i dunno if i can get him up all those stairs by myself."

"...he ain't gonna like it if he wakes up 'n i'm touchin' 'm," Red's gruff rumble answered. "besides which, i call bullshit. if yer strong enough t' carry my ass home, ya can carry him."

"will you at least help me get him out of the car?" Lust asked.

"fine." Red agreed. "but only so ya don't scratch th' paint job."

The warmth that was Lust's body left Dance's lap. A few moments later, Dance heard and felt the seatbelt be unfastened from him. Next, he was carefully lifted out of the car, then half propped, half draped against Lust.

"thank you sweetheart~" Lust purred, shifting his hold on Dance so Dance's one arm was slung over his shoulder and anchored with one hand, and Lust's other hand pulled him close by the hip. "coming inside?"

"nah." Red huffed. "still gotta return boss' car. see ya t'morrow tho."

"i'll hold ya to that," Lust hummed, before starting for the stairs.

The last thing Dance heard was the sound of that damn sports car zooming off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ nobody is gonna get the thing i did
> 
> ~ Boss ships it for selfish reasons (but if anyone hurts his big brother he will erase them)


	17. Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lust reads a book, Dance gets worried, and Red is apparently having his own issues right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got through TLL in 5 chapters and here we are almost more than three times that into this fic because i'm trying (and likely failing) to craft a believable enemies to lovers OT3 with something that vaguely resembles realistic development
> 
> i'm sorry everyone for how very obvious it is how much i ship this

Lust slowly awoke the next morning, snuggling closer to the steady thrum of another monster's magic, familiar and accepting. Looking up into Dance's face, still slack and unguarded as he slept peacefully, Lust wondered how he ever managed to get through the day without waking up to something like this. He grinned, bringing his hand up to wipe away a bit of sweat from Dance's brow, letting it linger there as he followed the curvature of his orbits with his thumb, down and around so he could cradle the hinge of his jaw carefully with the tips of his distal phalanges.

Lust found himself leaning, only remembering to stop himself just in time, less than an inch from making contact with his teeth. _Dance was asleep. He was having a nice dream, and Lust shouldn't intrude on that just to kiss on him. Dating or not, Dance did not give him permission to kiss him while he was asleep, and vulnerable, and adorable, and kissing would lead to other things that were even more unacceptable-_ Lust quickly hid his face in Dance's shoulder, suppressing a groan. _He was just greedy._ He could wait for Dance to wake up on his own. _He could wait. It wasn't going to kill him to show a little patience._

But maybe a distraction would help. Lust racked his brain for something to occupy his time, quietly, so as not to disturb Dance. He should probably go look to see if there was anything worth eating in the kitchen. Yeah. The kitchen, where he wouldn't be (as) tempted to jump his helpless, trusting boyfriend like the vicious predator he was. Stars only know its been months since Lust actually went shopping (why bother when Red was just going to bring him food every night?). Plan in mind, Lust began the delicate operation of escaping the arms that surrounded him.

His plan crumbled when he felt Dance tighten his hold, pulling him closer and making a snuffling noise as he buried his face in Lust's shoulder, hiding in the thin t-shirt he'd thrown on last night for comfort.

Lust sighed, hugging Dance back and lazily stroking over the smooth planes of his skull, thumbing idly over an off disturbance in the bone towards the top, where it looked like it had been filed away and flattened slightly. Lust found himself making little circles on the anomalous spot with his thumb, wracking his brain for what could possibly have caused it. _It was almost like Dance had spent a significant amount of time standing on his head, although that wasn't quite right either: the slight grain in the mark was curved; had he been spinning..?_ Lust's thoughts were interrupted when Dance responded to the attention with a _delicious_ noise, breathy and pleased. Lust couldn't help the snicker that bubbled in his ribcage. He made sure not to stop petting Dance's head as he thought of another plan.

It was then that Lust remembered the book.

Lust looked over to the crumpled heap on his floor were his vest was from last night. Cheating with a bit of BLUE magic, Lust coaxed the thing over to the bed and stuck his hand in the pocket, pulling out his ignored phone. He flipped it open and retrieved the gift he had gotten from Boss; that book that Red had gotten so defensive about.

Lust flipped the book open to the first chapter.

> **Chapter 1: What Is Personal Ecological Territory**
> 
> Personal Ecological Territory is defined as any organic matter which is under your supervision or dependent upon you. For example, children are much more likely to survive to adulthood if they are the personal ecological territory of a strong monster, simply because fewer individuals will be foolish enough to risk retribution for such low reward (excluding abnormal socio-emotional drivers* or simple ignorance). However, given the social climate of the underground, the need to define Personal Ecological Territory explicitly has never been more important or relevant to everyday life.
> 
> * see chapter 2

Lust read through a few more pages, finding the book read much like a dissertation on social behavior. If he hadn't had to read (and write) such papers himself at one point, he might have found the book unbearably dry and unpalatable. However, the way certain phrases were framed, the way the author danced around certain topics as though expecting it to be common knowledge... the underlying tone did not paint the nicest picture of the society that the book was written for ( _Red's society_ ).

On the bright side, the cerebral horror of it all was perfect to kill Lust's libido.

Clinging to Dance with his one arm, like a child clinging to a stuffed animal as they watched a scary movie, Lust pushed through the uncomfortable passages that set the stage for the _what_ and the _why_ , until he got to the _how_ , which was much more interesting (and significantly less distressing). The chapter that especially caught his attention was the one about _'courtship and mating protocol'_ , and it was only then, when so much of Red's behavior was given context, that Lust realized it was an _acronym_.

Lust found himself touching the collar around his neck, feeling that different kind of warmth fill him from his core outward, before setting the book aside and cuddling Dance, wishing he could cuddle up to Red at that moment as well.

* * *

The next few weeks were largely the same as before, to Dance's unspeakable irritation. Red continued to avoid him. Dance couldn't keep spending every night at Lust's place (his brother had already expressed his concern about Dance staying out every night).

Dance's obsession with a certain flavor only grew.

Dance tried not to let it bother him. He did. He _really_ did. But every time he came over to Lust’s for movies, and saw that side of the couch empty, something coiled tight and painful in his core, making the joins in his neck burn with false bile. He _hated_ it. This was only further proof that Red was an _asshole_ , but now Red didn't even have the spine to show up and be told off to his face.

Worse yet, Dance could tell that Lust didn't like the avoidance either. Every time Lust noticed Dance glance at the far end of couch, he looked like he wanted to say something. He always thought better of it at the last second, instead snuggling closer and distracting Dance with something (usually a kiss, _stars, could Lust kiss, he was so good at it he didn't even need lips_ ) so he would forget about it.

Now, Dance always considered himself a patient monster. If Red just kept avoiding _him_ , he really didn't have a reason to complain.

It was almost three weeks later, the night that Red didn't come to see _Lust_ , that finally made him snap.

Dance shortcut into Lust's apartment, nibbling on a chunk of watermelon he'd swiped from his stash in the fridge back home (the most recent escalation in his strange obsession).

Lust was pacing, hugging himself, his phone clenched in one hand.

"uh, babe?" Dance tried, hoping to get Lust's attention.

Lust's head snapped up, and Dance made a point of not feeling offended when he caught that flicker of disappointment, right before Lust's tired attempt at a smile. "hey..."

Closing the distance between them, Dance pulled Lust into his arms, hooking his chin over Lust's shoulder. The feathers of the fringe on his vest tickled the underside of his jaw. "wanna talk about it?"

At first, Lust tensed, hesitating. Dance waited, uncertain what the issue actually was, hoping that Lust would confide in him on his own. Dance's patience was rewarded as Lust let out a dry laugh, returning the comforting embrace with a desperate one. "red didn't show up the last few days... and he won't answer his phone..." He sucked in a shaky breath. "i'm probably overreacting. its only been three days. he's probably fine, just bored of me, or busy..."

Had this been a few months ago, Dance would have been scrambling to reassure Lust, to say, _'hey, he's probably out drinking or stealing purses,'_ but it wasn't. It was now. Now, when Dance had a persistent craving for watermelon anything, and he knew damn well Red put Lust before everything else (short of maybe his brother, although Dance wasn't about to say he had any kind of understanding about their relationship). Dance instead found himself hugging Lust tighter, his own concern (which _of course_ would come part and par with his _stupid fucking crush_ ) blazing to life.

One the one hand, Red was a hulking beast of a monster, with plenty of LV, capable of protecting himself.

On the other hand, he'd been beaten and broken before.

And there were humans out there...

Dance swallowed down the burning feeling that clung to his vertebrae. "does his phone ring when you call it, or go straight to voice mail?"

"it rings?" Lust answered, confusion evident in his voice.

Dance nodded, pulling away. "ok. then if the asshole won't come to us, _we_ will go to the asshole."

"how?" Lust asked, clutching at his collar. "we don't know where he is..."

Dance pulled out his phone, pulling up an app he'd made years ago, but never used (because if he were being honest, it was kind of starker-y territory and as soon as he had tested it he'd felt a bit off and stuffed it in the hidden folder). Now, though, just this once, he thought its use was justified. "what's red's number?"

Lust gave it to him, and Dance plugged it into the app. After some buffering and a good bit of data usage (Dance was glad he had an unlimited plan, or this thing would have likely gotten him overcharged), the pixilated little map of Ebott pulled up, and two little blinking dots appeared on the screen: one was Dance's current location (within about 30 feet), and the other was, assuming he had his phone, Red.

Lust looked over Dance's shoulder. "its... kinda creepy that you can do that."

"yeah. thats why i never sold the app. just too much responsibility," Dance admitted, heading for the door.

Lust followed after, apparently not above a little creeping if it meant making sure Red was alright.

Dance and Lust went into the nearby alley to shortcut a bit closer to Red's supposed location, but neither one of them had been to that side of town before, so even the nearest they could get still meant they had a bit of a walk ahead of them. As they headed further in the right direction, Dance grew more and more nervous. This side of town was crawling with sources of LV. There weren't many other pedestrians, but the ones he saw were teeming with it, the chill wafting off them thickly. Dance found himself pulling Lust closer to his side, holding tightly to his hip with his free hand, ready to shortcut away at a moment's notice.

Lust didn't show the slightest bit of unease, or at the very least, no more than he had in the apartment. He was still obviously distraught over Red's sudden cut in contact. He kept toying with the collar, finding some kind of relief from it. Dance assumed as long as the magic in it stayed strong, it was a good sign Red wasn't- _nope not gonna go there, not gonna think that, nope, nu-uh._ Dance shook his head, turning the corner and working his way ever closer to the only clue they had to Red's whereabouts.

When they finally reached the same general area as Red's phone, Dance didn't need much prompting to figure out which building he was probably in: there, on the corner, was a large sign with flashing neon lights, declaring the location of Grillby's Bar and Casino. Dance quit the app, flipped his phone shut, and stalked in.

He was _livid. How DARE Red cut off all contact with Lust just to gamble! Did he have ANY IDEA how worried Lust was?! What the hell kind of irresponsible bastard did that to someone who cared about him?!_

Dance ground his teeth as he hunted for the telltale sign of black and crimson... The issue being that that seemed to be the favorite color scheme of nearly everyone in the room. It took Dance a hot minute to find anyone who _wasn't_ dressed like they just raided a Hot Topic. When he did find someone, it was a bright orange hoodie seated in the back, one of the few monsters not dripping in violence.

Dance wove his way through the crowd. He was halfway across the room when he felt himself pulled up short -- or, more specifically, he felt _Lust_ held up short. Dance turned to see-

It was Red. _In a suit_. Red was in smart black suit pants, a button down white collar shirt, and a black waiter's vest, along with a black apron hanging around his waist, and padded white gloves which buffered his claws from scratching the tray of drinks balanced on one arm. The strangest part of the whole ensemble was that, for the first time Dance had ever seen him, his red collar wasn't around his neck, instead cinched tight around his upper arm, while around his neck now sat a matching black bowtie.

Red had Lust's collar gripped in his other hand, which had been what halted their progress. "th' fuck 'r you two doin' here?!" he hissed, keeping his voice low, as if he were trying not to be overheard.

"i could ask you the same! you didn't answer your phone, i was really starting to worry," Lust tried to explain, bringing his hand up to cling to Red's, as if to keep it there at his throat.

Red made a throaty rumble. "haven't exactly had my phone fer a bit. flamin' asshole's had it as collateral."

"collateral?" Lust asked, the tension bleeding out of him gradually.

"i'll explain later," Red hissed. "the two o ya get th' fuck out o' here before ya get in tr-" Red was interrupted by the call of his name from the far off table. Red bristled, turning to shout, "keep yer shirts on, i'm comin'!"

Dance watched dumbfounded as Red waded through the crowd, before coming to the table and delivering the drinks. He hovered there for a bit, before darting off for the kitchen.

"dear stars, he cleans up nice," Lust breathed, grabbing at his collar as he stared after Red's retreated form, hearts throbbing in his sockets.

"uhuh..." Dance agreed ( _stupidly, because it didn't matter, he was an asshole, it didn't matter how well he wore a suit_ ). He shook himself. "lets get out of here. he's fine. he'll explain later."

Lust squeezed Dance's shoulder. "i'm... i'm gonna stay. at least this way i can see him. besides..." He smirked at Dance, blushing faintly. "he's in a _suit_. when's the next time i'm gonna get to see that?"

Dance really couldn't argue with him there (and didn't that just say something, that his traitorous brain couldn't come up with a single reason to trump seeing that _fucking asshole_ in something resembling formal wear, when he knows damn well he could have written a book with three sequels about all the reasons why that didn't matter not three months ago). Dance made a noise of discontent. He didn't really want to stay. It felt wrong being here. The air was filled with the chill of LV and Dance wanted nothing more than to grab the _both_ of them and shortcut back home.

But Lust was going to stay either way. Dance wasn't about to let Lust stay here alone. He pulled Lust closer to him, using his boyfriend's body heat to help calm his twitchy nerves.

Lust ended up leading him further into the building, away from the casino, more toward the restaurant portion. They were just passing by the table with the single spot of bright color in the room when Red came out from the kitchen, heading straight towards them with two servings of what looked like cake.

Red shot them both looks, an expression that might have sent a chill through Dance's spine before, but now only made him irritated, as he approached the table with the orange hoodie and set the cake down. "there. now quit yer bitchin', ya damn addicts."

"hey, thats no way ta treat yer customers," the second monster (another one dripping in LV, lithe like a jaguar and just as agile), teased, slinging his arm around the one in the orange hoodie.

"yeah, you're supposed to say, 'thank you for being the best part of grillby's, is there anything else i can do for you?' and then we'll say, 'why, yes, there is! we need mood music!'" the orange hoody said, his playful smirk only spreading wider.

"ya cant be fuckin' serious," Red growled at them. "i got other fuckin' customers t' serve! what th' fuck ya want me t' do? pull out a violin 'n play some fuckin' mozart?"

"metallica, actually," the other monster chimed in, grinning.

"ain't in my job description. ya want music, go fix th' speakers yerself," Red hissed.

"you are way more fun when you're high," the orange hoodie observed.

Red flipped him off, before turning on Lust and Dance. "didn't i tell th' two o ya t' scram?"

Lust just smiled at Red. "actually, i was thinking about sitting down. having a drink."

"i think you're in the wrong bar," orange hoodie cut in. "the hookers dive is down the street."

Dance felt his core freeze, his magic run cold. At his side, Lust froze for the briefest moment, flinching, before his easy smile returned to his face. _Did he just say what Dance thought he said? He could not have just said what he thought he said. No. He must have heard wrong._

"you would know, wouldn't ya, honey?" the other monster teased, getting a playful shove for his trouble.

"not hard to spot a hooker, dude," the orange hoodie pointed out.

_He did. He said E X A C T L Y what Dance thought he said._

Dance was suddenly two feet in the air, fist outstretched and inches from cracking that smug grin clean in half. The orange hoodie didn't flinch, although he looked rather surprised. The monster with LV was on his feet in an instant, pulling the one in the orange hoodie into his lap (away from Dance's fist) and summoning a bone construct, simple but sharp, shimmering a burnt sienna in the dim light. His right eyelight was pulsing a bright orange and gold, flickering violently. Dance could _taste_ the LV in the air, the violent intent-

-but there was a wall there, between the other monster and himself. He could still feel the cold of LV, but it was a different kind of chill. Instead of being buffeted by the howling wind of violent intent, it was like he could hear it roaring from inside a shelter, like he had hunkered down in an igloo to weather the storm.

Red's LV was holding the other's at bay, a wall of ice to keep them warm.

Red's deep rumble broke through the surprising silence. "slim. buddy. pal. better teach yer _pet_ some fuckin' manners," he said, though the way he spat the word, it sounded nothing like it did when he used it to refer to Lust. "else ya ain't gonna like what happens next."

The other monster -- Slim -- scoffed. "aint afraid a freexp. 'sides, ya caught him already."

Red grinned wider, but there was no mirth to it. "nah. see. i ain't talkin' 'bout what dance here was gonna do. see, what dance here was gonna do was knock a few teeth out. no real loss, might even be able t' reattach 'm if yer fast enough. quick. painless. _merciful._ specially considerin' th' crime. but me?" Red leaned closer to them, bracing his other hand on the table as he kept holding dance back by the scruff of his hoodie. "bitch, i know where ya fucker's _live_. whatcha think i'mma do t' ya fer what ya just said 'bout _my pet_?"

Dance saw realization strike Slim, who looked over at Lust again. He started to sweat. "oh."

"yeah. _oh._ " Red growled. "anyone else in this fuckin' dive said that shit i'd o' dusted 'm by now, grillby 'r no. now get th' fuck out o' here 'fore i do somethin' real stupid."

"sorry," Slim muttered as he started to pull the orange hoodie out and away with him. Orange hoodie swiped up the cake servings, keeping a hold of them as he was dragged off. He looked over his shoulder, still confused and not the least bit repentant right up until he disappeared into the crowd.

Red waited (for what, Dance wasn't certain), then let go of Dance and backed up. "sorry. ain't really allowed t' fight in here. couldn't let ya land a hit."

Dance found he could still feel the chill from the 'wall' Red had erected. It was the same chill he usually felt around Red. The implications weren't lost on him.

"dance?" Lust murmured, putting his hands on Dance's shoulders. "sweetie, calm down. its okay."

Dance took a deep breath. "it is NOT okay. but..." He rubbed his face, leaning into Lust. He'd lost his temper again. He'd lost his temper in front of Lust again. "sorry..."

Dance took deep, calming breaths, listening to Lust reassure him all was well, as Red stood indomitable between them and the crowded casino.

* * *

Red nearly had a panic attack when he realized through his marrow deep exhaustion that he was not imagining Lust being closer. Adrenaline and fear woke him up like a splash of cold water, and he was on them in seconds, easily pulling them out of the crowd to try and convince them to leave. _Grillby wasn't here to keep the peace._ Red was too busy to keep an eye on them all night. There was booze, which meant drunks, and gambling, which meant angry drunks. This was _not a place for freexp!_

Red should have figured Lust would start to worry after his phone got confiscated, but Red hadn't really had a chance to think about it with all the running about he'd been doing. Damn elemental was too cheep to hire actual help, so when he'd left, Red had been stuck tending to the whole establishment single-handedly.

Stretch and Slim kept the work from growing too dull, even if they did only come to tease him about the uniform and the fact he was actually working. He couldn't blame them for it (he'd tease the shit out of either of them if their roles were reversed).

What he couldn't abide was the blatant disrespect towards Lust. Stretch opened his big fucking mouth and Red nearly shoved his whole damn fist into it. Dance _would_ have if Red hadn't caught him fast enough (and holy shit, was Dance fast when he wanted to be, that lunge had been a fucking work of art, graceful and powerful and _fuck he needed to stop thinking about it_ ). Slim needed to give Stretch the talk already: at least Red had explained to Lust what a collar meant.

What surprised Red was how Dance had responded. Sure, Red had instinctually desired to rip his friends to little pieces and play Yahtzee with their shattered remains, but he had LV. That was kind of the deal. Dance didn't have a lick of it.

Red decided to file that away for another day, and instead focus on getting Lust and Dance seated near the kitchen so he could keep a little bit of an eye on them.

"are ya alright, sweetheart?" Red rumbled, helping Lust into his seat.

"i'm fine," Lust assured him, completely at ease despite everything. "you guys didn't have to respond like that, you know. it wasn't a big deal."

"it was a very big deal," Red insisted. "only one whats aloud t' talk dirty t' ya's me, remember?"

Lust smiled even wider, reaching up to toy with Red's stupid bowtie (which was suddenly a little less stupid and a little more acceptable, now that Lust was playing with it). "you know, ya clean up real nice, sweetie. this is a good look for you..."

Red hoped the heat flooding to his face wasn't doing anything noticeable. "yeah?" He'd figured the monkey suit had been just another way for Grillby to assert his control and dominance, as well as to indicate to the customers Red had been purposefully left in control for the last few days. He hadn't considered any of it pleasant or even beneficial to his image (if anything, it implied subservience to Grillby, which, in this case, wasn't entirely a lie, but certainly wasn't Red's goal).

"ya gonna explain all this?" Dance finally asked (like Red knew he would, eventually, when his distaste for Red was finally overcome by his curiosity).

Red opened his mouth to start, but heard the call of another patron. "shit. look, i'll swing by later."

Red darted off before they could try and pin him again, catching the request for refills by two humans and Doggo (who thought it was hilarious that he was actually doing work and moving around).

Red didn't get a chance to check back with Lust (and Dance) until his next legally mandated break.

Red pulled up a spare chair and eased into it, groaning softly as he did and the weight of his bones was finally taken off his feet.

"red, baby, you're exhausted," Lust worried, reaching out to stroke his skull, wiping away some of the sweat that had built up there,

"what else is new," Red grumbled.

"since when do you work at a casino?" Dance demanded to know, arms crossed, posture defensive, as if Red's working here was somehow offensive to him. Perhaps it was, hell if Red knew - he couldn't figure the guy out to save his life.

"few days ago. just picked up the shifts while grillbz is on vacation," Red muttered, taking this opportunity to breath easy.

"how does that translate to you not having your phone?" Lust asked (perfectly reasonably).

Red ground his teeth. He didn't want to tell them about how his skeezy apartment upped its rent, and he needed the money. He didn't want to bitch to them about how hard it was to find decent work after that new law was passed about having to report your LV on job applications. He certainly didn't want to admit that he'd ended up losing his phone while trying to gamble himself up rent money (he could already imagine how that would go -- the look of horror on Lust's face slowly shifting to contempt, Dance's micro-expressions vividly proclaiming his victory and ridicule -- _some provider Red was, couldn't even provide for himself_ ). Red was _lucky_ Grillby had bought the damn thing back in return for Red running the bar while he takes a vacation.

Red hadn't gone into teaching for the money, but it sure as fuck wouldn't hurt to have a fallback plan that didn't involve cheating at cards. Or at least a summer job.

"ain't allowed t' have th' phone while i'm clocked in," was all he said.

"when do you clock out?" Lust asked.

Red shrugged. "whenever grillbz gets back. in th' mean time i gotta run th' place, 'n that means he gets t' lock my phone up in th' safe."

"you mean you've been working this place nonstop for three days?!" Lust exclaimed, (also reasonably) alarmed.

Red shrugged again. He didn't have a better way to say it. "theres this nice six hour break between closing and opening, but i cant damn well leave th' bar fer it, so i've been sleepin' in th' back."

"that can't be legal," Dance growled, irritable.

Red shrugged again. "i agreed t' it."

"......and doesn't that speak volumes about your situation," a soft, low crackle came from behind Red.

Red looked behind him, careful not to jump from surprise (that sneaky fireball would like that too much, damn him). There was Grillby, looking over his sunglasses at the three of them with knowing, disappointed eyelights.

"didn't expect ya back so soon, tiki torch," Red quipped. "get bored o' sunbathin'?"

 _'Oh please,'_ Grillby's flames cracked with attitude. _'My vacation was spent in bed watching TV and eating coal.'_

"still tryin' t' shit diamonds, huh?" Red snickered.

 _'No, I just got hungry waiting for someone to show up for you,'_ Grillby huffed, arms crossed. _'I expected Papyrus. You never told me you had pets.'_

Red raised a bone brow, standing up. "show up fer me? th' fuck?"

 _'It is called an intervention. Now...'_ Grillby turned to Lust and Dance. ' _Get this idiot a summer job, then get him out of that slum he's been hiding in. If he's going to be paying that much for rent anyway, he might as well get an apartment actually worth paying for.'_

"th' fuck, grillby?!" Red bristled.

 _'I'm sick of you coming in here every month and working the poker table like it's your second job,'_ Grillby continued, casually and calmly like he was discussing a stain on his shirt. _'Its bad for business. Everyone knows you win more than you lose, and thats with me rigging your games.'_

The reality of how he'd ended up here hit Red with a sudden, startling smack to his ego. "ya rat bastard, ya _cheated_ -"

 _'As have you. As have we all. Come get your things, and you two,'_ Grillby's hard eyelights blazed down on Lust and Dance, who had been oddly quiet during the exchange. _'See to it about pulling his shit together. God knows he won't do it for himself.'_

Trembling with rage, Red couldn't bring himself to look at either of the others as he followed Grillby to the back. As soon as the door was closed, Red couldn't stop the indignant snarl from clawing its way out of him any longer. "what th’ _fuck_ was that?! what th’ utter fat mc'fuckin' hell was that, and what th’ hell gave ya th' idea ya had _any goddamn right_ t' say that shit t' _my pet_ -"

 _'It needed to be said,'_ Grillby interrupted coolly, already opening the safe where Red's things had been locked away safely (his jacket, his phone, his smokes, his comfortable clothes that didn't make him feel like a dingus).

"if ya really had a fuckin' problem with me playin' yer fuckin' tables ya coulda just cut me off like ya do th' booze! fuck knows ya ain't had no issue doin' it b'fore!"

 _'Because if I did not, you'd drink until you'd pass out on my counter,'_ Grillby reminded him. _'At least if I cut you off, you had to go somewhere else, and then you thought twice before drinking yourself all the way into a hole. You're not dumb enough to do that where you don't know you're safe.'_

Red snatched the bundle of his things from the elemental, trembling with humiliated fury. "bullshit. that was fuckin' bullshit! i have my shit t'gether, fuck you very much!"

Grillby just looked at him, stoic and unimpressed.

They both knew why Red was the one wearing Boss' collar. They both knew Red had made a point of living separately from Boss out of pride, out of a desire to not hold his brother down any more than he had. Grillby had been one of his few trustworthy allies (his friend) through all of it, through his breakdown and his steady crawl back to something resembling functionality. he'd seen Red at his best, at his worst, and through it all Grillby had never once coddled him or pitied him, giving him the dignity of demanding of Red the same he demanded of anyone else (sometimes more, when he was feeling vindictive). _So why now?! Why this bullshit now?!_

Red ended up being the one to break eye contact, snarling his distaste for the whole thing as he stomped to the bathroom to change back into his own clothes.

He couldn't help feeling a heaviness in his soul, a marrow deep terror that everything was ruined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ for anyone who cares, the book was written by W.D. Gaster in his earlier days before he had the funding to construct the CORE (and i kinda wanna write the whole thing because i'm a loser and it would be super fucking meta and there are a bunch of little details i would love to expand upon with it but i also kinda dont because if i did i would have to write it with lots of overly analytical social commentary and pretentious language and idk if it would be worth the effort pfvuekhbfhbfsaakfv)
> 
> ~ dance made that app so he could track his brother and his friends and know where they were so he could check that they were okay. he thankfully realized his paranoia was getting out of hand, and put a stop to it, although that meant he fell into another kind of distraction right after as a means to coop with his issue. lust is fine with using it to find red since red has a way to track his own location (seems fair) and also he's legit worried
> 
> ~ red has issues asking for help ok
> 
> ~ Underfell Grillby is having none of your shit, Red
> 
> ~ BTW [this beautifully written little ficlet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15891534) written by Deku_Lily is now officially canon to this fic so GO READ ITS CUTE OMG


	18. The Fight (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is shit but also kinda needed to happen

Red marched out of the back, again dressed in his usual ratty basketball shorts, t-shirt, and black leather jacket. He scowled at the world, shoulders stiff and tense as he made his way to Dance and Lust.

Lust hadn't seen Red so defensive since they had first met. It hurt to see him like that. He gripped desperately at his collar, tugging, hoping whatever Red got out of it would help, if only a little. Beside him, Lust saw Dance was seething quietly, an unattended pot ready to overflow at any moment.

Red reached them, avoiding eye contact. "well?" he growled. "don't just stand there, start fuckin' walkin'."

Dance looked like he was about to open his mouth. Lust grabbed his hand, pulling Dance with him. _This was not the time,_ he wanted to say. This wasn't a conversation to have in public. That wouldn't be fair to anyone. Dance squeezed back in response, taking a deep breath and calming down his initial fury, although Lust could still see it looming in the set of Dance's jaw and the hardness of his eyelights. Lust couldn't blame him for being upset (Lust was _livid_ ), but being angry wasn't going to solve anything, especially with Red, especially now.

Lust slowly, casually, started walking towards the exit, taking slow, measured steps so he could both guide Dance (keeping him close, so he wouldn't be as scared, although Lust still wasn't sure what there was in here for Dance to be scared _of_ , or why he had bothered to stay when he was so clearly uncomfortable) and keep an eye on Red. Lust wasn't going to start anything now, but he wasn't going to let Red run away from this either.

Thankfully, Red kept close, staying at their backs until the three of them were out of the bar. As soon as the door closed behind them, Lust whirled around. "sweetie? which way now?"

Red clicked his teeth. "'less ya know a shortcut, yer apartment's-"

"no," Lust cut him off. Lust had always considered himself a patient monster, but this was not something he was going to play games with. "which way to your~ apartment?" He asked, trying to sound sweet and calm, although he could feel some of his irritation leak out through his inflection.

Red must have heard it too, flinching back a bit. "don't matter, ain't takin' ya there."

"and why is that?" Dance hissed, his own anger pricking back up to the surface.

The sheen of sweat on Red's skull shimmered in the moonlight. "cuz' its a shitty ass neighborhood n' I ain't takin' ya nowhere near that shit!"

"so its dangerous?" Lust asked, trying to stay calm, although his SOUL was quivering uncomfortably in his core.

"don't matter, since ya ain't never goin', now keep-" Red snarled, then cut off like a vinyl record with the needle ripped off. "down th' alley, now." He hissed in a quiet, more urgent tone.

Lust opened his mouth to continue, only to be pushed by Dance down the alley. Lust looked behind him to see a tension in Dance's face, fear sweat gleaming on is skull and the bit of his neck visible under his hoodie. Dance pulled Lust to the ground behind an oversized cardboard box, hiding in the shadows of the unlit alley, a finger pressed to Lust's teeth to keep him quiet as he went impossibly still. Lust wrapped an arm around Dance, rubbing his back as they both hid behind the box, Lust straining his hearing to figured out what had set both of his boyfriends on edge.

* * *

Red positioned himself at the mouth of the alleyway, lighting a cigarette, the perfect picture of someone just out for a smoke, with nothing to hide. Dance and Lust were hidden quite well in the darkness back there (if Red hadn't been able to feel Lust through his collar, he'd never even know they were still there). Red only had to buy them enough time to shortcut out completely. A few moments at most.

"Heya there, Sansy~" Drunk bunny's voice cooed condescendingly as he approached. "Was wondering when I'd get to see _you_ again~"

"You been avoiding us?" Jerry asked, nasally and irritating as always. "Lame."

"don't call me that, dizzy," Red hissed, clicking his teeth, making sure to keep his body between them and the mouth of the alley. _Lust and Dance should have been out by now. Why weren't they leaving?_ "th' fuck ya want?"

Red let his eyelight wander lazily as he took in the scene unfolding before him: looks like Drunk Bunny had called up his whole gang, more monsters gathering from other buildings, and coming from across the street. He'd even recruited a few Temmie to buff out the numbers to an even 10.

"Remember how you beat us at cards a few months back?" Drunk Bunney continued, flipping open a switchblade that shimmered dangerously in the dim light. "Well, we were talking, and we want a refund."

Red let out a deep, rumbling chuckle, sticking his cigarette between his teeth, next to his false tooth for added effect (the cherry always made a rather picturesque glow shimmer on the metal, especially in the dark). "buddy, ya lost fair 'n fuckin' square. i don't even gotta cheat t' take yer money. so hows about ya walk away 'n i don't tell th' boss how ya mouthed off t' me, huh?"

_Walk away, for fucks sake, WHY WERE LUST AND DANCE STILL THERE?!?!_

"Everyone already knows Papyrus disowned you. You two don't even live together! You aren't his pet anymore, and you haven't been for a good long time," The rabbit jeered.

"what th' fucks this then?" Red asked, gesturing to his throat, where the red leather collar still sat, freshly reattached and humming faintly with Boss' magic.

"A meaningless tacky accessory," the Jerry type grumped.

Red shrugged. He could understand where they were coming from. In their shoes, he might had even thought the same thing. After all, what had Red done for Boss? Nothing, not really; he'd been dead weight since he became a pet and the whole underground knew it. Even Red didn't know why his brother put up with his shit sometimes (other than that he was awesome). "this was a gift from my lil bro. has a whole fuck ton o' meanin'. fer example..."

Red flexed a few magical muscles he hadn't needed for a while, his eyelight gleaming brightly in his socket. In seconds he had two large draconic skulls hovering at his back, roaring with contained energy. "...means ya fuckin' fergot who th' fuck yer messin' with, plush toy. need me t' jog yer memory? 'r ya gonna do th' smart thing 'n walk away?"

Red kept up his casual pose, his cruel smirk, his display. He had to. _Lust and Dance were still behind him, why the fuck hadn't they left yet, what were they waiting for?!?!_ Red couldn't help thinking the worst, that their magic wasn't working right, or Dance was having another panic attack, or-

_-or they were in on it, they were staying because the damn rabbit had them on his pay roll and he was being played like a goddamn fiddle, of course nobody would want to be Red's friend, never mind his pet, how could he have been so stupid-_

"Get him," one of the rabbits shouted.

Red didn't have the time or the luxury to think of much else after that. He let loose, let the burning chill of his LV sing in his marrow and drive him through the crowd of monsters, of enemies, of _prey_. Bones flew and blasters fired, mixing with the bullets and the knives as the gang descended upon him.

It was only the thought of the little human who believed in him, of his brother who had already been disappointed enough, (of his pets who he had promised, even if they had lied to him) that stayed Red's hand enough not to dust them all where they stood. Instead, _since Dance and Lust still hadn't moved_ , Red tried to lead them away, across the street, towards another alley. He dodged and fought and dodged and fought, slowly coaxing the angry mob further away from Red's charges.

Red snickered. "pussy ass wimps. Takes ten o' ya t' gang up on me, 'n even then ya can't land a fuckin' hit!" He flipped them off, laughing at their howls of outrage as he darted down the new alleyway, leading them away, leading them away from his pets and doing something right, _even if it was all a lie._

Red made another turn, skidding to a halt as he came face to face with a dead end. He spun back around, still smirking as he counted the monsters stalking towards him. "oh, no. i'm trapped. whatever shall i do?" Red deadpanned, snickering more.

His amusement died as he realized there were only nine monsters in front of him. Drunk Bunny was missing.

* * *

Dance had noticed it before Red had -- the growing chill in the air, the malicious intent drifting on the wind. When Red had practically ordered them to hide, Dance hadn't thought twice: he grabbed Lust by the shoulders and pushed until he was certain they were both out of sight. A part of him was screaming to _shortcut the fuck out of there_... but he didn't have a hold of Red, and when he turned around, _Red wasn't behind them_! Well, he was, but he was way at the front of the alleyway, standing guard, a physical barrier between them and the howling chill of the looming threat.

Dance couldn't bring himself to even suggest leaving Red behind to face that alone.

Hugging Lust close to him, Dance tried to eavesdrop on the conversation, but he couldn't hear much above the pounding of his own magic in his skull. He squeezed his sockets shut, staving off absolute panic with sheer force of will and his boyfriend's body heat.

The steady, protective cold of Red's LV, a wall against the oncoming storm, also might have helped.

It was only a moment or two before Dance felt all hell break loose, magic crashing through the air along with incoherent screams of rage. He clung to Lust tighter, grinding his teeth as he fought his marrow deep urge to _run_.

A few moments later, Dance realized the sounds of fighting were growing more distant, the monsters moving away. _Was Red leading them away? Why? To... to try and protect Lust? To try and protect..?_

"Well, what do we have here?" Said a voice that sounded familiar, but just different enough to send shivers down Dance's spine. Dance looked up. Looming over them was a leporid that might have resembled Drunk Bunny if he wasn't covered in scars, his fur muted from dust exposure. Dance felt his marrow run cold. _He hadn't noticed the rabbit approach at all!_ As Dance watched, the monster's LV seeped into the air, no longer hiding.

Lust hugged Dance, gripping him firmly and helping him stand up in a smooth, easy motion. The two of them backed away from the other monster. "we do not want any trouble," Lust said casually, pleasantly. It was the same voice he had used before, with that handsy, disrespectful human.

"Thats too bad for you," the rabbit snickered, showing off the knife in his one hand. "Hows about you do exactly as I say, and neither of you have to get hurt?"

Lust looked back at him, quiet, his eyelights focused and calculating in a way Dance hadn't seen before. Dance gripped him tighter. _They should have run. Dance could have come back but he should have gotten Lust out of here first, why was he so stupid-!_

A number of magical bullets surrounded the two of them as Drunk Bunny pulled his phone out, taking a picture of them. Dance flinched at the flash, grinding his teeth. The rabbit casually fiddled with his phone. "Thats it. Good. Stay right there. Don't worry, as soon as we have Sansy, you can go."

_'Sansy'?! The Drunk Bunny Dance knew called HIM 'Sansy'. Was Red's real name..?_

Dance felt Lust stiffen. "sansy? you mean red?"

"Yeah." The rabbit hummed, flipping the knife as he waited. After a few minutes, his phone buzzed, indicating he had gotten a text. A cruel grin overtook his face as he presumably read it. "Well well well~ Too bad for you two, looks like Sansy decided his own life was more important than his pets or his debts. Guess you'll have to pay _for_ him. Assuming of course you want to live."

Dance felt a heaviness settle in his SOUL. _Of course Red would run to save his own skin. Thats just who he was, right? A brute, a coward, an unfeeling LV-happy lunatic. Dance's feelings were irrelevant., nothing was going to change-_

"you're pretty convincing for a liar," Lust said casually, making both Dance and the rabbit flinch. "but how about we talk about what you think red owes you? and we'll see if its worth all this trouble?"

Drunk Bunny spat. "Bastard cheated me out of 5000G."

"you're sure he cheated?" Lust asked, not the least bit concerned about the knife or the bullets now aimed at him.

"Of course he cheated!! No way that dumbass could win that much that often without cheating!!" The rabbit snapped.

"and you thought that~ was worth threatening my boyfriend over~?" Lust asked, his voice taking on a sweetness, a sickly cloying lilt. It still sounded pleasant, but at the same time, something about it put Dance on edge. "a measly 5 grand~?"

"Considering he blew it all on hookers and booze, when it should have been going to my rent, I think I'm well in my right to be pissed, you c-" Drunk Bunny growled, only to go quiet as a circle of bones batted his bullets away harmlessly, and Lust strutted forward, leaving Dance behind him.

"i would appreciate it if you wouldn't go around making rude assumptions about _my boyfriend_ , please and thank you~" Lust purred. "now, if you wouldn't mind, i think we will be leaving. we need to get red and go home."

The weight of the rabbit monster's LV suddenly swelled, pressing down on Dance with enough force to knock the breath out of him. Lust didn't even flinch, despite being even closer. "Dumbass, I'm telling you to either pay the 5 grand your 'boyfriend' owes me or I'm going to stab you!!"

Lust just crossed his arms, raising a bone brow and waiting patiently for the other monster to politely get out of his way. Dance couldn't help but notice that this time, Lust wasn't averting his eyes. He held onto eye contact with the rabbit, unflinching, almost bored.

Drunk bunny snarled, and swung the knife at Lust. Dance shortcut, instinctively, going to take the hit for him, squeezing his sockets shut and bracing for the searing pain and the subsequent chill of death...

...only it never came.

"dance, sweetie, that was very nice of you, but wholly unnecessary," Lust said, in that soft, affectionate, warm voice Dance had grown so used to. Dance looked up. In front of him was Drunk Bunny, the knife shaking in his paw inches from Dance's neck... held at bay in the firm grip of Lust's slender phalanges. Drunk Bunny was clutching at his arm above where Lust was gripping him with his other hand, jerking his body back, trying to wrench himself out of Lust's grip. He might as well have been trying to pull free of a vice, for all the good it was doing him.

Dance felt Lust snuggle up against his back, kissing at his scapulae. "its okay, sweetie... breath. in and out. nobody's fighting. we're just having a nice, friendly little talk. see? its okay." Lust continued to coo, his other hand curling around Dance, under his arm and up to massage at his clavicle.

Dance hadn't even realized he'd been shaking until it stopped.

"What the fuck are you..?!" Drunk Bunny whispered, eye shimmering with a glaze of healthy fear, the pressure of his LV being shoved away by another kind of pressure, something warm and familiar that made Dance feel safe.

"you can call me lust," Lust hummed. "now, if you would be so kind, **drop the knife**."

The knife hit the cement with a clatter.

"good. see? isn't it easier to be polite? now, could you also be so kind as to tell me where my boyfriend is? the one you so rudely~ accused of cheating~?" Lust's voice lost it's warmth, slipping back to a cold, saccharine lilt that made Dance very appreciative of having never been on the receiving end of it.

_Don't know if he'd want to be looking at his expression either, given the way an LV13 leporid was now quaking in his combat boots._

"Gang's got him. Probably halfway to the hideout by now," Drunk Bunny spat out as quickly as he could. "I lied. As soon as he saw the picture of you two he apparently turned himself in all quiet like, so we wouldn't kill you."

Dance felt his SOUL twist painfully. _Red hadn't abandoned them. He'd given himself up after being cornered. WHY?! WHY DIDN"T HE RUN?! Hell, why hadn't Dance followed his gut and taken Lust and run for it like he KNEW HE SHOULD HAVE then this wouldn't have happened-!_

Dance felt Lust grin into his shoulder. "see? it feels good to tell the truth, doesn't it~? so, now that we know each other a little better, lets go back to your place and have a little fun~ hmm~?" Lust slid out from behind Dance, pulling Dance into his side, stepping forward enough to give Drunk Bunny just enough slack to take a step. "lead the way, sweetie~ i'd hate to miss the party you're hosting for us~"

As Drunk Bunny started walking, his arm twisted back where Lust refused to let go, Dance couldn't help thinking that maybe he had be afraid of the wrong monster all along.

* * *

Jerry had shown him the picture, of Dance and Lust surrounded by bullets, the gleam of Drunk Bunny's knife in the right corner. Red had considered just shortcutting over there, beating the shit out of Drunk Bunny, making an example of him, **show everyone what the fuck happens to dumb shits what mess with what is his**... _but what if he wasn't fast enough? What if the reason those two had not shortcut away was because they physically couldn't?! What if they couldn't get out of the way in time? What if Red mis-judged his shortcut and it gave that damn rabbit enough time to land a hit on them?!_ Red had fucked up a rescue before and nearly gotten his brother killed. Dance and Lust didn't have even a fraction of Papyrus' HP between them. _He couldn't risk it_.

Better to play along until he could be sure they would be safe.

He'd swore to go along quietly if they didn't hurt his pets. He knelt down and let them cuff him with magic suppression handcuffs, didn't make a sound as they threw him in the back of a beat-up windowless van that looked like it was made to offer kids free candy. He only ground his teeth as they jeered at him, making fun of him for turning soft, for losing his edge.

His crusty black SOUL raged at the indignity of it all. _He should have killed them when he had the chance. This is what he gets for trying to be a better person, for thinking he was strong enough to be a better person._

The ride to their hideout was humiliating, but thankfully short. It was another rabbit monster that dragged him out of the van and tossed him haphazardly into a corner. He heard them argue over whether it was worth the risk to rough him up a little, given his notoriously low HP. Apparently they wanted to keep him alive at least long enough for Drunk Bunny to get back, so they largely left him alone for a while.

Red felt how Lust was slowly, steadily, making his way closer. He ground his teeth. He could picture it, that fucking rat manhandling his sweetheart, laughing at how Lust screamed and cried and begged to be let go, how Dance would freeze up in panic. Maybe Dance would unleash that power on the asshole, dust him at some point, if Drunk Bunny didn't play on Dance's fear for Lust to bully him into compliance. If they couldn't shortcut to safety... Red kicked at an empty soda can that had rolled near his foot. _FUCK!!_

 _He had to call for Papyrus._ Red felt his whole body burn with how very much he DID NOT WANT TO DO THAT. He didn't want to have to rely on his little brother to bail him out _again_ , that was the whole fucking reason he'd moved out. But... this wasn't just about him. This was about Lust and Dance too. Red would swallow his pride if it meant they would get out of this alive.

Red then went about trying to figure out how to contact Boss. His phone was in his pocket, and his collar was there around his neck, but he couldn't reach either of them with his hands cuffed behind his back. Red squirmed a bit. _If he dislocated one of his shoulders, he might be able to do that thing, slip his legs through the gap between his arms and get his hands in front of him instead of behind. Then he could pull out an SOS on the collar..._ He just had to do it discretely, so the fuckers guarding him didn't notice.

It was going to hurt like a son of a bitch.

Red started rolling his right shoulder, trying to figure out how to pop it out of place quietly, when Drunk Bunny opened the front entrance of the hideout. Red looked up, trying to discern if there was any more dust on him then there had been to begin with. _If he hurt his pets, Red would bite his fucking face off, magic or no magic-!_

Drunk Bunny came further in, and then Red could see Lust step through the door... holding Drunk Bunny's hand? Red's soul dropped, sucker-punched by the intense feeling of _betrayal_.

_He should have known better._

Lust scanned the room, before focusing on Red. His face softened, eliminating an expression Red wouldn't grace with a description. "red! there you are! you had us worried sick!"

Dance, at Lust's side, was stiff and distrustful as ever, glaring around the room with his usual brand of judgement and disdain. Red caught how his legs quivered slightly, how his skull shimmered with nervous sweat and his grin was strained. Red also caught how some of that strain lessened when he looked at Red (although for the life of him he couldn't figure out why).

Something else Red couldn't quite figure out was the expression on Drunk Bunny. He wasn't wearing the victorious sneer Red had been expecting. He almost looked... scared?

"sweetheart, can you stand up?" Lust asked, like they were out at a club and not in enemy territory. "i know you were invited out to play with your friends, but it's time to come home. we need to talk."

_What. The. Fuck?_

"Who is that and why are they being such a buzzkill?" Jerry asked, not looking up from his phone.

"red, sweetie, are you okay? do you need help?" Lust asked, his voice changing slightly, going colder.

Drunk Bunny made a pained noise, crumpling to one knee. His arm, still held in Lust's hand, didn't move, instead twisting behind him awkwardly as he sank down. "For fucks sake, Sans, get off your ass and get over here!!"

Red had never been more confused in his life.

The other rabbits bristled, pulling out their own weapons, manifesting their magic.

Lust looked around the room. "i'd love~ to stay~ i'm sure you guys know how to have a fun time~ but i'm sorry to say i have more important things to do~ red? sweetie, lets not waste any more time, okay? say goodbye to your friends."

Red felt it, the pressure, the warmth, soaking into the room and pressing back the ill intent of the others. It was almost as strong, as pervasive, as Boss' aura (which was saying something; Boss was LV17, not a lot of monsters get that high and maintain their sanity), but it was _warm_.

More importantly, it was not something to be fucked with.

Red carefully eased himself to his feet, using the wall to help with his balance until he was fully upright. He carefully made his way over to the door. When he got close enough, he could see that Lust wasn't just holding onto Drunk Bunny, but he was gripping him hard enough to cause the bones in the rabbit's arm to creak painfully.

Lust let go of his captive, letting the rabbit fall forward, and then, with the same hand that hand held the other monster in a vice grip, reached up and thumbed tenderly at Red's maxilla. "lets go home. we need to talk."

Before Red knew what was happening, Lust had linked arms with him, pulled him out the door, and into his livingroom, leaving the equally confused (and traumatized) gangsters behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so remember how Lust was never afraid of Red's LV?
> 
> How he was strong enough to carry Red's big bulky ass home?
> 
> How he could support Red and Dance at the same time while walking them back to the hotel room?
> 
> There is a reason for that.
> 
> It ties into how I HC that LT (LUST) is kinda like LV. It makes the monsters stronger too, but it does other things. It also sometimes encourages aggression (an idea inspired by neil's papyton comic). LT isn't as easily sensed or identified, so even though Lust has a shit ton of it, even though he is a dangerous predator, it isn't overtly obvious
> 
> TL;DR Lust is a scary motherfucker who is just too nice to fuck you up
> 
> so here, have a bunch of LV buffed monsters wondering how the fuck an LV1 freexp manhandled their leader and red's just like WTF just happened


	19. The Fight (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda boring tbh sry

The three skeletons stood in the livingroom, silent and unmoving (each for their own reasons).

Dance looked at Red again, checking him over. His HP was still at 100% ( _thank stars_ ), but the buffer he'd always seen Red with was gone, leaving him with just the natural 1HP he has to work with. He was covered in dirt and shallow scratches, and there was something slimy and dark green on one side of his face.

Lust stepped away, pulling back and running his hands over his sockets, taking a deep breath. "ok. we need to talk. red, sweetie, how about you sit down?"

Red mutely went over to the couch, the soft clink of his cuffs drawing Dance's attention. Even under all that bulk from his coat, Dance could trace with his eyes exactly where Red's spine would curve, with his shoulders shifted back to accommodate his wrists being tethered together. Dance had to quickly look away, fighting back mental images that were completely inappropriate for the situation (and in general, since this was a _stupid fucking crush_ , and it was never going to happen, and he needed to stop thinking about _Red at his mercy, scars shimmering in the dark- **no no stop it shut up brain shut up**_ )

When Dance looked back again, Red was seated stiffly on the couch, not looking at either Dance or Lust.

Lust, apparently composed, went and sat down beside Red, putting one hand on the other's leg. "ok. red, sweetie, i'm not angry, i'm just disappointed-"

The way Red's whole body flinched back at just that word coming from Lust's mouth would have been comical if it hadn't twisted something painful in Dance's core. Red looked like he'd been punched in the spine, his eyelight guttered out, sockets stretched wider, posture even more stiff, leaning back slightly from Lust as if he had recoiled from a physical strike. It only lasted for a moment, the blink of an eye, less even, but Dance saw that moment of raw vulnerability.

Given the way Lust cut off like a closed music box, he had too.

Red quickly covered up whatever emotion had been flashed on display there with a vicious snarl, hunching his shoulders and looming forward again in a defensive, threatening pose. "i'll fuckin' bet. bet yer _real_ fuckin' disappoint'd. must o' been _real damn upsettin'_ findin' out ya invested so much time suckin' up t' me when ya don't need-"

"this isn't about what i do or don't need," Lust said softly, soft like distant thunder is soft, still booming, still reverberating with warning. "this is about you, suffering in silence. why didn't you _come talk to me_ about it?!"

"'n what?!" Red hissed. "prove dance right, that i can't take care o' my pets?! i got it under control, mind yer own fuckin' busi-"

"you _are_ my business!" Lust snapped. "you _made_ yourself my business when you said you wanted to be with me! what the hell am i supposed to do, _not care_ my boyfriend is struggling?!"

Dance was the one struggling right now. Something about Red's words sat wrong with him. _'Prove him right?'_

"it ain't yer fuckin' job t' take care o' me, it's my job t' take care o' you!" Red snarled back. "it's s'posed t' be my fuckin' job t' take care o' you! lemme fuckin' do it!"

"you do!" Lust shouted at him. "you _do_ take care of me! but you can't _keep_ taking care of me if you don't take care of yourself too!"

"i do!" Red defended. "i'm fuckin' fine!"

"bullshit." Dance said softly, drawing both of the others' attention. "thats _bullshit_." He was suddenly walking right for Red. His arm snaked out and gripped onto Red's shirt (a thin ratty thing that had seen better days, _why hadn't he noticed before how threadbare his clothes were?!_ ). "you knew those monsters were coming, but instead of trying to run _with_ us, you had us duck into a dark alley to hide and used yourself as a distraction! you were outnumbered ten-to-one, and you didn't once call for help! what the _hell_ were you _thinking_ , trying to pull a stunt like that?!?!"

Red went quiet. Red always went quiet when Dance talked to him now, quiet and still, like Dance wasn't even worth talking to anymore. It only made him more irate. "what. were. you. thinking?! why didn't you come with us?! we could have gotten away _together_ , you _stupid-_ " he let go of Red's shirt angrily, stomping back to the other side of the room.

"why didn't you guys just _leave_?!" Red finally hissed at them (more at Lust, Dance noticed, but his voice was still quieter than it had been, as if trying to exclude Dance from its effects entirely). "i _know_ ya could o' left. i know ya know a few shortcuts."

_Red knows about their shortcuts?!_

Lust crossed his arms. "if you knew that, why didn't you come with us?! we could have all left!"

"'cuz some'ne needed t' buy ya time t' get th' fuck out o' there!" Red answered. "'n ya didn't answer me. why th' fuck didn't ya just _leave_?!"

"because you were still back there!" Dance snapped. "you weren't there to pull along with us, we couldn't just leave you, idiot!"

Red blinked at him, almost owlish, confusion evident in the curl of his brow ridge. "why not?"

And wasn't that just the question of the month. _Why Not?_ Maybe because Dance couldn't shake the image of ruby light shining through the cracks of discolored ivory, or maybe because he couldn't go more than a few hours without choking himself in the taste of watermelon, or maybe because he'd started to miss that pervasive chill at his back. Dance knew damn well _why not_ , and it was only partly because of how Lust looked at Red, how his smile was brighter when Red was in the room. Dance _knew_ why not, but the words crumbled to bitter dust in the back of his proverbial throat and made him gag, made his sockets want to water from the frustration of it all.

Lust took a deep breath, before reaching out and cupping at Red's face. "because you're important too. would you have left if it was one of us trying to stay behind?"

"thats different, i'm-" Red tried to start, only for Lust to cut him off with a finger to his teeth.

"no, its not. its what a relationship is supposed to be. you take care of us..." Lust scooted closer, nuzzling into Red's side. "and we take care of you."

Red clicked his teeth, avoiding direct eye contact, still tense and defensive. His posture, as well as his expression, slowly began to soften, turning solemn and contemplative. "sweetheart, how can ya say that with a straight goddamn face? what good am i gonna be t' ya if ya don't even need me t' keep ya safe? its all i'm fuckin' good fer, 'n..."

The unspoken words hung in the air: _'I can't even do that right.'_ It was a feeling Dance knew painfully well. He hugged himself, clutching at the azure fabric of his hoodie desperately, trying to hold himself together as his entire perspective regarding Red was (again!) flipped on its head, the dichotomy between what he was seeing and what every fiber of his being screamed to be true.

_Red was self-conscious, holy shit._

Lust shook his head, one hand rubbing at Red's shoulder, working out tension Dance could very well imagine was becoming painful. "sweetie, you are more than some glorified bodyguard. you're sweet, and considerate, and funny, and clever, and i like being around you. i l- i appreciate that you want me to feel safe, i do, but i want _you_ to feel safe too. so, tell me..." Lust looked up at Red, and Dance could see the tender, worried expression in his eyelights, a look that would have broken Dance himself down in seconds. "do you feel safe in your apartment?"

Red was quiet, unreadable, eyelight hazy and unfocused. "no," he finally answered, the word escaping reluctantly into the air, wrung out of him forcefully by Lust's unwavering stare and unfettered concern, both byproducts of his genuine affection.

"then you can't go back there anymore," Lust told him. "we'll go get your things in the morning, together."

"'n where th' fuck am i s'posed t' live then, huh?" Red asked. "plus, how th' fuck can i move out before payin' off th' month's rent? i get it, i do, but this ain't yer problem-"

"yes it is," Dance snapped. "so shut up. just stop arguing and let someone else take the wheel."

Lust turned Red's shocked face back to look at him. "you'll live here with me. you sleep over every night anyway, right? seems fair enough. and i'll pay off your rent. you can pay me back later~" he purred, nuzzling. "please?"

Red tensed, and Dance could see him rearing up to argue (like an asshole). Dance was ready to shake some sense into him by this point. Thankfully, Red saw sense, letting out a defeated breath. "a'aight. only cuz ya want me t'. anythin' ya want, sweetheart."

Lust beamed, wrapping his arms around Red's neck and pulling him into a kiss. Dance looked away, giving them a moment as he fought down something hot and painful in his SOUL.

After pulling away, Red let out a breathless chuckle. "a'aight. ya won already. so go get yer bolt cutters 'n help me out o' these cuffs, huh?"

"bolt cutters?" Lust asked as Dance turned back around. "i don't have any bolt cutters."

"no..?" Red clicked his teeth. "how 'bout 'n industrial saw?"

"no?" Lust leaned back, tiling his head to one side as though to look at the cuffs behind Red.

"weldin' torch?" Red's voice sounded less and less hopeful.

"that would kill you before it got the cuffs off," Dance snorted. "just turn around, let me see."

Red hesitated, looking at Lust as though for permission, before standing up and turning around. He shifted nervously from foot to foot, as though ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. Dance rolled his eyelights, kneeling down to get a better look. _It wasn't like HE was the big scary threat in the room or anything._

Although the last hour made Dance rethink which of the three of them that actually was.

Regardless.

Dance paused, inspecting Red's claws for the first time up close. They'd always looked sharp, dangerous, weapons of bone and magic ready to rip or crush anything they pleased. Now, bound by cruel metal, they didn't seem quite so menacing anymore. They were bigger than his own hands, but that only made Dance wonder about the logistics of holding them. Dance found his face heating up, his mind now generating imagery of _those claws clutching desperately to one material or another, maybe the wood of a headboard, maybe the cotton of freshly laundered sheets, the scratches in the bone and joints between them flaring brightly as- NOPE gonna derail that, not going there_. He shook his head, flexing his own hands as he brought them up along with his focus to the cuffs, _the reason he was back there to begin with, remember? Focus on the cuffs._

They were made of high grade steel, and no doubt were filled with silver for that extra magic conduction. Dance slid his hands along the smooth bands, trying to feel for a keyhole he could pick. instead, all he found were the seams of a tightly fitted panel and the latches that held the cuffs closed.

"welp, i've got good news and bad news," Dance said, pulling away. "good news is we can probably get those off in three or four hours."

"bad news?" Lust asked.

"bad news is that they are the type that use a key fob, so i'll need to open the panel and hack the system to unlock them."

"impossible," Red growled.

"hardly, just time consuming," Dance snorted, feeling offended. _How dare he doubt him._

"just get my phone and call boss, he's got bolt cutters," Red huffed.

"red, sweetie, let dance try at least," Lust said reasonably. "maybe he knows what he's doing?"

Dance smiled appreciatively at Lust, before shortcutting to get his tools. _At least someone believed in him._

* * *

Red made a frustrated noise as soon as Dance was gone. _'Maybe he knows what he's doing?!'_ Bullshit. Red very highly doubted Dance knew what he was doing to him. Those inscrutable looks, the way this specific brand of frustration and anger made his face light up in sapphire, sparking memories of madeira and musical numbers, were squeezing at his crusty black SOUL in painful, frustrating ways.

Furthermore, Dance was willingly getting close enough to _touch_ him, and what the hell was Red supposed to think about that? That all it took for Dance to be comfortable around him was to be stripped of his magic and the use of his arms? Not that Red was going to risk scaring him off even now; better to hold perfectly still and keep his voice down.

And Dance and Lust were both seeing him in this vulnerable, humiliating position. They could kill him. They could leave him like this. Now that Red wasn't being smothered by worry for his pets he was three steps away from having a panic attack for his own sake. Red was rather confident Lust wouldn't hurt him (if Lust had wanted to he would have done it long before now), but that didn't apply to Dance.

Dance hated and feared him, and wasn't that just irony at it's fucking finest.

Red took the opportunity he had to roll his stiff shoulders, shifting from foot to foot and stretching his legs. He felt stiff, a steady ache settling into his joints thanks to the suppression of his magic, causing the flow throughout his body to slow to a painful crawl. He took deep breaths, trying to manually pump it, to relieve the strain on his body. Even those little motions were a relief.

A relief which was all too brief, as he heard the clink of metal behind him. He looked to Lust, who just smiled reassuringly, eyeing what had to be Dance rummaging through something behind his back. Red again stiffened his posture, settling quickly on a stance he was sure he could maintain for a long time. It wasn't long before he felt that tentative pressure on his wrists. Red kept his eyes focused straight ahead, trying not to think too hard about the soft, smug grin that once again spread over his datemate's face.

After a while, Dance made an annoyed sound.

"whats wrong?" Lust asked.

"i can't get the torque i need to remove the panel..." Dance answered absently. "the angle is wrong..."

"maybe we could try a new angle then?" Lust asked, and Red could tell from the overly sweet lilt to his voice that he wasn't going to like the idea Lust had in mind.

"how?" Dance asked.

Lust scooted over to one end of the couch, then pat the space beside him. "dance, come sit over here with me. bring your stuff so you have it with you."

Foolishly, Dance did as he was bid. Lust turned to Dance, pulling him into a hug and planting a soft, grateful little kiss to the side of his teeth. Red made sure to look away from the color that bloomed shamelessly on Dance's skull from that bit of affection.

"red, sweetie?" Lust called out after a moment. Red looked back at his far too happy pet. "now you come over here, and lay down."

"lay down?" Red parroted, not quite getting what Lust was driving at.

"yup." Lust pat his lap, eyelights smoldering cheekily. "stretch out over dance, face down, and lay your head in my lap. then dance can get a better angle and you can relax a bit. win-win~"

Red looked at Dance, who had gone unusually stiff (especially for him, who was usually so fluid and graceful). Red tried to smile (hoping it didn't come off as nervous as he felt). "dunno, sweetheart, very much doubt th' grease monkey wants me-"

"its fine!" Dance snapped, pulling his hood up, hiding his face. "just- just get over here already. the sooner i can start the sooner i can finish."

Red hesitated. Even he could see that Dance was uncomfortable with the idea, and Red wasn't too sure he liked it either. The whole set up seemed... personal. "can't we just- bolt cutters?"

"red," Lust purred. "bolt cutters are dangerous and would only cut away the chain connecting the cuffs, not the cuffs themselves. if dance can get them to unclasp, isn't that easier? and safer?"

Red clicked his teeth irritably. Lust was _right_ , he _knew_ Lust was right, he just-

Dance didn't like him. Why was he bothering? Why? It was just business between them, and this went way beyond what Red had ever considered 'just business'. He took a careful step forward, watching Dance attentively for any sign that he needed to stop. When none came and he had reached the couch, Red paused.

Dance held his hands up, open body language telling Red to just go for it.

Hesitant, moving as slow as he could with his limited balance and mobility, Red knelt on the couch and then stretched himself out over their laps, feeling awkward and downright silly. He took up the full length of the couch. His head rested comfortably on Lust's legs, cushioned by the soft leather of his pants. Somehow, Dance ended up settled snugly between Red's ribs and pelvis, underneath his lumbar vertebrae. Logistically, that was perfect, because that put his wrists right in front of Dance. In practice, however, it meant Red was acutely aware of Dance being _right there_.

And wasn't it just _so fucking convenient_ that he was perfectly comfortable in this position? How stupid was he, that he didn't mind this at all? 

Red felt Lust's hand smooth over his skull, his thumb making pleasurable little circles into his temporals as his other hand rubbed at the arch at the back of his neck, right above the first little spine of his cervical vertebrae. "see? asking for help isn't so bad, is it?" he hummed.

"keep tellin' yerself that," Red grumbled, turning his head to one side to give Lust a better angle at his jaw. He felt his sockets drift shut. _He was so tired._ He hadn't been able to sleep well since overnighting at the bar, nightmares interrupting every attempt he made with obnoxious efficiency. He was tired, and sore, and warm, and comfortable, and surrounded in that sense of home, _choking on it, suffocating in it._

He cursed his own weakness with his last few moments of consciousness, praying Dance wouldn't notice.

* * *

Dance ground his teeth, his sockets squeezed shut, glad he had put his hood up. He knew he must be blushing furiously. As soon as Red had settled in his lap, Dance was assaulted by the rush of his magic over his legs, and while his pants and Red's shirt muted the feeling, and while the suppression from the cuffs likely muted it even further, it wasn't completely gone. Dance could feel the chill of winter, like his legs had been dunked in ice water, and taste the faint hint of watermelon in the air.

The worst (or perhaps best) part was that he was acclimating to it alarmingly fast.

As soon as Dance had gotten used to being so close to Red's magic (which he realized must be so sluggish and stagnant compared to how it should be), he opened his eyes. He immediately wished he hadn't, because there was Red, draped over his lap, vulnerable and trusting, giving Dance full control, and _there are so many things his brain is thinking about doing right now that he should not be thinking about doing and which have nothing to do with his current task, shut up, shut up, shut up-!!!_

It was the warmth of a hand on his shoulder that finally brought Dance out of his own head, making him jump and turn to look at his boyfriend. Lust was smiling widely, gentle and understanding. "sweetie? calm down. breathe. you and red can have that talk later, okay?"

"what talk??" Dance asked, nervous sweat sliding down his neck.

Lust wiggled his bone brows. "the one where you both stop circling each other. it's painful to watch, and i think we'd all enjoy it more if you two put on another kind of show."

Dance felt his soul stutter inside him. "theres nothing to talk about. i don't even know what _you_ are talking about." He turned back to his task, focusing on the cuffs (and doing his best to ignore the monster entrapped by them). With this new angle and new leverage, he was able to get the panel open and start hacking into the circuitry. After hooking his phone into it, he started trying to decrypt the access code.

Bright side, it was easy.

Downside, it was time consuming and monotonous, leaving Dance's mind (and eyelights) plenty of room to wander.

At first he let them drift back to Lust, which was perfectly fine and understandable. Dance felt his SOUL flutter happily, watching Lust lean back, relaxing after their eventful evening, the worry which had creased his brow and strung tension tight in his jaw melting away with each passing second until there was none left to be found. Dance leaned over, reaching out with his free hand to cling to Lust's shoulder. Lust looked up, smiling back at him. He brought one hand up, taking Dance's wrist gently and pulling it to his teeth, nuzzling into Dance's palm with a contented, blissful expression.

It was about then that Dance heard a steady, loud motor noise. He looked down. Lust's other hand was working at Red's neck, just under the fluffy hood of his coat. Dance could feel the way Red's magic trembled pleasantly, his whole essence reverberating with the sound. It was like distant thunder, like the revving of an engine, like the whirr of a well loved machine.

Dance _adored_ that sound. He had no idea any organic creature (magical or otherwise) could make a sound like that.

Lust chuckled, nuzzling again into Dance's hand. "think about it? talking to him, i mean?"

Dance tried to shoot him a resentful look, but given the warm shimmer in Lust's sockets, he failed miserably.

_He certainly wouldn't be thinking about much else for the rest of the night._


	20. Badgering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dance and Red have some one-on-one time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter sucks~~~ and i don't really like how it turned out but thats fine. this is fine.

Dance worked through the night. Lust made sure he stayed up with him, keeping up his little ministrations to Red's neck and shoulders. The purring was a bonus (it really was a pleasant sound, he couldn't fault Dance for how it affected him), but Lust's main goal was keeping Red comfortable enough to sleep through it all. Lust could tell how tired and sore Red was, and his sweetheart deserved a break. He might have coaxed a handy box of wet wipes from the table over and used one to clean the nasty slime off of Red's face (revealing a small crack, like one left from a whip mark... or a tentacle? neither option settled well in Lust's soul), cleansing his datemate of the worst of the grime.

Lust could do this much.

The moment Dance managed to get the cuffs to unclasp, he slid them off from Red's wrists and stuffed them into the dimension box of his phone. His face was a pretty shade of azure.

Lust teased him about being kinky. Dance didn't deny it.

Red instinctively brought his arms up and wrapped them around Lust's middle, sighing with relief as his magic started to flow normally and he was able to drift into a more natural sleep. Lust tenderly wiped away a bit of drool, fighting back the urge to pull him up for a proper kiss. _Red needed to sleep, he could kiss him later._

Lust turned back to Dance, grinning at his predicament. Dance was ready to go, but he was somewhat trapped underneath Red, and he didn't have the leverage to move Red without risking waking him up. From the look on Dance's face, he didn't look like he wanted to move anyway.

The result of all these factors led to the three of them sleeping there on the couch together, lulled by Red's purring and each other's warmth.

In the morning, Lust woke up first, but he didn't move. Somehow, in the night, Dance had snuggled himself between Red and the back of the couch, the top of his skull pressed against the side of Lust's hip. Only one of Dance's legs was still trapped under Red, the other tangled in Red's legs. Red had turned to face the back of the couch, his one arm draped over Dance while his other one was still around Lust's middle, skull cradled in his lap.

Lust pulled out his phone and took a picture before the moment was lost, repressing a squeal. He then wiped a bit of sweat from Dance's brow, his other hand going to again wipe away the drool from Red's teeth. Both of them made little grumbles, snuggling closer to each other for warmth and security. They settled quickly enough, and Lust was more than content to continue watching over them.

After a few hours playing on his phone, it was Red who woke up next. He rumbled irritably as a stray sunbeam reached him from behind the curtains, clutching to both Lust and Dance tighter, before trying to roll over to face away from the nefarious light source... only to accomplish rolling off the couch, dragging Dance and Lust with him.

Lust hadn't seen it coming, yelping in surprise before bursting out into laughter, twisting in Red's hold so he landed on his rear, bracing himself with his hands. Red hit the floor a bit harder, bristling like a startled cat and jumping to his feet, turning his skull this way and that in a pantomime of alertness that his hazy half-summoned eyelight betrayed. Lust, curious as to how aware of the world Red actually was, made a small bone construct and tossed it into the air.

Red summoned one of his own and shattered it.

Dance, who had somehow slept through the fall off the couch, jumped to his own feet at the noise not unlike breaking glass. His left eyelight blazed, a vicious, chilling, terrified sapphire, sparking with a cold, unyielding gold. Music was suddenly in the air, heavy staccato bass heralding a confrontation.

Lust lunged to his own feet, pulling Dance into his arms and nuzzling. "calm down. sweetie, its okay, its just us. you're okay..." He murmured, SOUL pounding.

The morning had started off so peacefully too.

Lust supposed it was his own fault this time.

Red shook the haze of sleep off of him, tensing in response to the intent radiating off of Dance. When Red got a good look at what was happening, the way Dance had gone fluid and still, except for his jittering eyelight and trembling hands fisted in his pockets, Red backed up to the other side of the room, making himself as still and unnoticeable as possible, retracting his natural presence.

Lust tightened his grip on Dance. Red's efforts were well meaning, but Lust couldn't help thinking them misplaced. He looked at Red over his shoulder, taking in the sullen, self-deprecating regret boiling underneath his stoic visage, finding all the little tells that told the story of how much Red hated seeing Dance like this. He sighed, then turned back to Dance, murmuring low and steady.

Lust still didn't know all the things that set Dance off, but he was certain it didn't include Red for the sake of being Red. It had been the _noise_ he'd reacted to. Lust made a mental note not to make magic impacts in the morning.

Thankfully, Dance came out of his own mind, and the music faded with the color in his eyelights. Dance clung to Lust desperately, hiding his face as he started shaking, taking deep, steady, shaky breaths to focus and help still is likely volatile SOUL. Lust cooed softly, before looking at Red again. Lust made a motion with his head, trying to get Red to come closer. Red stiffened even more, spreading his feet apart and widening his stance, firmly unmoving. Lust sighed, nuzzling into Dance more.

Lust couldn't help noticing that Dance didn't flinch away from his collar, pressing into it as much as Lust's shoulder and neck. Lust smiled knowingly, brushing his teeth over Dances temple. "good morning, sweetie," Lust hummed, hoping maybe something innocuous would help.

"morning," Dance groaned, squeezing tighter, a sign he wasn't ready to start the day quite yet.

Red made an unassuming throat clearing noise. "uh... i'll just go, 'n, ya know... get my shit... let ya both wake up..." he rumbled, inching quietly for the door.

"don't you dare," Dance spat, looking up to glare at Red over Lust's shoulder. "we're coming too. you're not going back to some slum by yourself."

Lust almost purred from the sudden, perfect idea. "actually~" He pulled away gently, slowly, from Dance, giving him the chance to pull him back if he still needed support. "i should probably clean up a bit and make room for red, so... can you go with him for me, sweetie? please~" He lowered his voice to a whisper, although he was certain Red could still overhear. "i know its a lot to ask, but i'm counting on you~"

Dance returned Lust's gaze at first with confusion, then contemplation, then vivid understanding. He tensed, nervous sweat beading on his skull. Lust gave him his most encouraging smile, along with a wink. Dance swallowed, his face flashing a deep azure before he pulled himself together and glared defiantly at Red.

As though Red were a particularly difficult puzzle in need of solving.

Perhaps, to Dance, he was. Lust knew it was easier to underestimate a challenge when you had already solved it.

Red looked back at Dance, his skull shimmering dimly with perpetual sweat, grin tense and nervous, trying to pass off as confident. Lust was certain his sweetheart would succeed in tricking anyone who didn't know him better. Whether or not he could fool Dance was up in the air now.

Dance was the one to close the distance, reaching out and snagging at Red's coat sleeve. "where is it, then? we'll take a shortcut, since you know about them."

Red's smile grew tighter, his eyelight diluting in color in that subtle way that told Lust he was thinking hard about something. "...might be fast'r t', ya know, take one o' mine..?"

Lust smiled wider.

_Little steps._

* * *

Dance glared at Red, his anger flaring at the smug grin spreading wider on his smug face. _The rat bastard could shortcut?! He could have completely avoided last night if he had just grabbed them and left! Why didn't he?!_ Dance squeezed a bit harder on the coat sleeve than he intended from his rage. _Calm down. It was over. It didn't matter._ "lets just get going," Dance said tightly, fighting to keep his tone cordial.

Red (again) averted his eyes, his expression unreadable. He rolled his shoulders, as if stretching for a feat of strength, then Dance felt the world shift, and suddenly-

Suddenly he was in darkness. He was in darkness and it was cold and there was LV seeping from everywhere, there was danger _everywhere-_

"shit," Red growled, rummaging in his pocket until he pulled out his phone. He flipped the flashlight app on, and the light sparked briefly before flickering out. "oh, _c'mon_! piece o shit!" He snarled quietly under his breath, stuffing it back in his pocket angrily.

The sudden, brief glare knocked Dance out of his spiral. He shook his head, clearing it of the buzzing angry static that always seemed to fill it when he could feel that numbing chill lapping at his SOUL. The way Red's LV snapped into place, like a barrier between all the evils of the world, helped significantly in allowing Dance to orient himself and realize the LV he was sensing was from a completely different elevation altogether, and couldn't be on the same floor as them, never mind in the same room.

It was then that he noticed two eyes shining in the darkness from a distant corner, before some kind of small, angry beast lunged in their direction.

"fuckin'-" Red flicked his wrist, fast and precise and elegant, two fingers upright. A wall of luminescent crimson bones sprung up from the floor, halting the beast in its tracks. That wall only grew in size, encircling the creature and caging it with a few well placed bones on top as well, parallel to the floor.

"what the _hell_ is that?!" Dance gasped, eyes not leaving the alarmingly sized furry creature.

"badger," Red said simply, slowly and gently stepping away from Dance, putting only the most gentle of pressure for Dance to let go of his arm until his fingers uncurled from the leather. Red moved to one side, out of reach, and Dance couldn't help feeling a little sting of rejection. _Red wouldn't have pulled away from Lust like that._ He ground his teeth, fighting back the feeling because he shouldn't care. He didn't even _like_ Red, it was just a stupid crush...

Dance couldn't even convince himself anymore.

Dance kept close as Red moved to one end of the room (still shrouded in shadow, only lit by the eery glow of those bone constructs, putting the vauge shapes of the unidentified objects in the room in stark relief. The badger's eyes gleamed menacingly in the dark. It opened its mouth and _screamed_ , a cross between a lion's roar and the shriek of a beaten rat. Dance flinched, shuffling even closer to Red (away from that unholy _thing_ , what the _fuck_ , he was gonna have whole different kinds of nightmares) as he pulled his hood up to try and hide from the cold. "how did it get in here?! why is it so dark, its the middle of the day! why is it screaming-"

"chill," Red huffed, cutting Dance off. He didn't sound the least bit phased. "i toldja i didn't want no one comin' here." He knelt down, letting out a soft noise of effort to go along with the scrape of his claws fumbling in the dark against the wood floor. "have t' keep th' windows boarded up cuz o' the racists what like t' throw shit," Red continued as he searched, more words than he had directed at Dance for what seemed like ages. "as fer th' rat? whole buildin's infested with th' nasty lil shits, 'n every once 'n a while one comes crawlin' in." Finally, heralded by a triumphant chuckle, he stood back up, pulling out a grimy old lantern with a sad little candle inside. Red snapped his fingers, crimson sparks crackling until he had a fire going, burning dim on the tip of his claw. He lit the wick of the candle, and the lantern scattered the light, dimly illuminating the room.

The room was a mess. The couch had been ripped and gutted (supposedly by the badger, but given the size of some of those marks, Dance would bet money Red had done his fair share of damage too). The old TV in the corner had more than one crack in it, suggesting if it showed any video at all it was glitchy and muted by static. The sink had seen better days, but the only sign of the kitchenette being used for more than its fridge was a single plastic spork sitting on the counter. There were beer cans, old bottles of whisky and bourbon, mustard bottles, and old food wrappers littered across the scratched up wood floor. There was a pathetic, overworked trash tornado in the corner, overburdened by crumpled wads of paper and tin foil. What Dance could only guess to be the front door of the apartment was covered in a border of ducktape, thought Dance could see the way the dim light cast shadows thanks to the uneven surface, like the wood beneath the tape was splintered. The door nob itself had clearly been replaced with something more modern and durable made of stainless steel. Clothes (not just socks, but all kinds of clothes; shirts, shorts, underwear) were littered in a surprisingly dense trail from the bed to the one other doorway, leading down a hall into what was now darkness.

The badger paced in its tiny circle of confining bones, making that unholy scream at irregular intervals. Dance discretely flipped it off as he turned to see what Red was doing.

Red again returned to rummaging under a suspiciously rusty wire-framed bed, on top of which sat the rattiest boxspring Dance had ever seen. There was a wad of bedsheets towards the bottom of the bed, kicked away for one reason or another, and a coverless pillow that had seen better days. The lantern had been set on the side table, the only acceptable bit of furniture in the room. Red pulled out a few dimension boxes he had stored under his bed, flipping them open and checking their contents. He must have found what he was looking for in the first two of them, nodding to himself, closing them again and shoving them aside before picking up the last one.

"you... lived here, huh?" Dance asked, feeling a little sick as his hysteria died back down to be replaced with calm horror. The trash was bad enough: it was just like his room, before Paps had stepped in (minus the wine bottles and nicecream sticks and old vhs tapes that never got put away). But then there were the windows... and the cold that had nothing to do with the perpetual chill clinging to Red (like the heating had been cut off), and the fact that there was a _live fucking badger_ , and Red was acting like it was old news, like he was used to it.

"yup," Red said, casual and inflectionless. He started picking up his discarded clothes and dumping them in the supposedly empty dimension box, following along the trail of them towards the dark hallway.

"its freezing in here," Dance commented irritably, hugging himself as he watched. He tried rubbing his arms, but the friction he was able to make with his bony hands was insufficient.

"heat cost extra," Red said, as if that explained everything. "neighbor pays extra fer th' a.c. so his fuckin' hat don't melt, 'n th' cold kinda seeps through th' walls." He spoke like it didn't bother him, like it was just an academic fact. Perhaps it was, in this case.

Dance watched Red shuffle his way down the hall into the darkness. The badger made another noise, making him jump. Dance followed after Red a little faster than he intended, almost close enough to step on his heels.

Red had turned to a wall closet on one side of the hall, stuffing clothes he had hung up in there into the dimension box haphazardly. Dance went to lean on the opposite wall, only to find there was no wall on which to lean, instead just the empty air of another doorway. He nearly fell backward, catching himself on the edge of an unidentified smooth surface. Dance quickly got his own phone out and switched on the flashlight, revealing his salvation to be the porcelain sink of a bare bones bathroom. It smelled a little moldy, the culprit being a pile of damp socks in the corner of the tub.

Dance shook his head, turning his attention to the sink. _The cold was driving him crazy._ He turned on the knob labeled for hot water and waited a moment, before sticking his fingers under the spray, hoping for even a little warmth to calm his nerves.

_The water was ice cold._

Dance tried the other knob. It too only gave out cold water. _The apartment didn't even have hot water._

"th' fuck 'r ya doin'?" Red asked. Dance jumped a bit, turning to see Red was halfway through the doorway, watching him.

"it's freezing in here, and you don't even have hot water," Dance hissed, the cold creeping closer to his SOUL, making a specific little line across his ribs burn like frostbite. It was getting harder to breath. _That unholy screeching wasn't helping._ "who in their right mind even considers living like this?! this place is infested, its a slum, what the hell-"

Dance didn't even notice Red move until it was too late. One moment, Red was in the doorway, clutching the box. The next he was in front of Dance, looking smaller without his coat around his shoulders, and there was a warm weight on Dance's back. "when i said t' chill," Red muttered, cutting Dance off, "i didn't mean literally." He stood there, looking down at Dance with that inscrutable expression. Dance could feel the pressure of Red's claws mere inches from his throat, pulling the ends of the jacket together to stave off the chill, the discolored ivory lingering as if reluctant to leave now that it had come so close. Instead of the healthy fear Dance _should_ have been feeling (and would have felt had this same situation come to pass only two months ago), Dance was transfixed on the single half-mast eyelight smoldering in the dark, a crimson beacon that gradated to a muddied brown with flecks of a brighter color, a color Dance couldn't quite identify before the moment was over.

Red pulled his hands back, pulled _himself_ back, sharp like a recoil, and sidestepped around him to get to the bathtub socks, once more putting distance between them.

Dance clutched at the warm leather, pulling it closer around him, surrounded by the smell of watermelon coupled with smoke, and a warmth like insulation from a raging storm.

* * *

Red had taken one look at Dance, shaking in the dark of his shitty apartment, eyelights jittering and starting to spark with worrisome color, and known he didn't have long before another one of his panic attacks was bound to set in. _Lust wasn't here to fix it, either_. He'd need to cut it off before it started. It had been a long shot (what the hell makes _cold_ a trigger?), but Red had gotten lucky.

Well, as lucky as a guy could get on Badger Day.

Good thing his coat was warm. One more reason to love that old thing.

The downside was that doing so meant getting rather close to Dance, and unlike when Dance gripped onto his arm, it would be Red initiating the contact. He made certain not to touch Dance directly, although as soon as he was within range Red had to fight down a powerful urge to _touch_ , to _check_ , to _collar_.

All perfectly understandable urges, except _Dance wasn't his_ , and never would be.

Red scooped up the last of his socks, resigned to the fact that they were beyond salvaging and would need to be ripped into cleaning rags. It may have been his own fault for leaving them in the bathtub in the first place, but it was annoying, regardless.

Red stood up, turning to see Dance was still standing there, huddled in his coat, ribcage expanding and retracting rhythmically as he once more regained control of himself. The noisy little death-weasel screamed again, making Dance flinch. Red had to resist reaching for him (he'd pushed his luck enough with the touching today, better not to push it any more). "look, i'm almost done here, just gotta bag up th' trash and tell th' landlord t' fuck off. ya don't gotta stay," he muttered instead, careful to keep his voice low.

"how about i just stay right here and we leave together, huh?" Dance snarked, his bad attitude mellowing somewhat now that he was starting to warm up. _Good to know; a cold Dance is a bitchy Dance._

Red focused his attention to the box of clothes because _he was not going to think about the comparison between Dance and a wet cat today. Nope. Fuck That._ He shuffled carefully around Dance, getting between him and the badger, who screeched angrily as Red once more returned to the main room. "oh, shut th' fuck up, earmuffs," he grumbled, setting his box down next to the other two before meandering to the kitchenette and digging out his old stockpile of garbage bags.

Dance sat on the bed _(and Red wasn't going to get any ideas about joining him there because no, it was never going to happen, even if Dance looked like he was drowning in his jacket and his feet didn't touch the floor as he sat on Red's bed, where he could so easily just pin him down)_ , watching Red with those steely, uncompromising eyelights as Red shuffled about the room, tossing the trash into the trashbag with a little bit of BLUE magic.

"you're seriously going to clean this mess?" Dance asked, bone brow arching higher. He shifted from side to side, like he couldn't quite get comfortable, although Red doubted that was the issue: seemed to Red, given the way Dance's eyelights kept darting back to check on the badger, that he just couldn't make himself relax with a perceived threat in the room.

Red casually meandered so that he stood between Dance and the badger, having the trash come to him instead of going to it. He knew it was ridiculous, but it made Red feel better (even if it didn't actually help Dance any).

"yup." Red tied off the now stuffed trashbag and shook open the second one, gathering the last of his mess (and sighing inwardly with relief that this was all there was to worry about). "ain't leavin' nothin' fer t' fucker t' bitch about." Plus, whoever the next poor sap was to come live here shouldn't have to put up with his leftovers.

"...we need to talk," Dance finally said.

Red froze, his bones aching with how tightly he was suddenly tightening the leylines of magic holding him together. "...wut?" He asked dumbly, not looking directly at Dance.

"i said we need to talk," Dance said tightly, a friendly lilt to his voice not unlike a customer service employee who had had it up to their eye sockets with a particular customer. "and it would be nice if you would pay attention."

"ya wanna talk here??" Red asked, stupefied. "now?? about what?" _What the fuck did he do this time?!_

"i don't know," Dance muttered, "maybe about how you ignore me more often than you don't, and you go out of your way to be an asshole, and this, whatever we're doing now, isn't working."

"workin' just-" Red cut off the scathing retort, taking a deep breath. "it's working just fine. 'n are ya sure ya wanna have this conversation now?"

Dance gave Red a look, a look that screamed, _'what kind of stupid question is that?'_ but didn't convey exactly how said question was in fact stupid. Red found himself grasping at proverbial straws, trying to navigate the mercurial minefield that was Dance's erratic emotional drivers, and ultimately left at a loss. _What the fuck was his problem?!_

"we're having it now," Dance hissed, grin tighter, false pleasantries even more flat, "because if we don't, it's never gonna happen. so why don't we start with why the hell you put your coat on me?"

Red tightened his grip on the trash bag. _What was he supposed to say?? What was the right answer??_ "dunno."

Red knew before it had finished leaving his mouth that that was the Wrong Answer™. "what do you mean, you don't know?!" Dance demanded, confirming Red's suspicions.

"th' fuck ya want me to say?!" Red found himself snapping tersely. He regretted it immediately, seeing how Dance tightened his posture.

"how about why you're such-!" Dance snapped back. He closed his sockets, taking a deep breath. "this isn't going to work..."

"what th' fuck isn't gonna work??" Red asked, some of his self control finally cracking. "i didn't ask ya t' come, ya know. i toldja not t' come. i've gone out o' my way t' stay as far out o' yer range as i fuckin' can, givin' up time i could be spendin' with _my datemate_ just so i don't step on yer fuckin' toes, 'n yer _still_ not fuckin' satisfied! _what th' utter fuck d' ya want from me?!_ "

"so you _have_ been avoiding me!" Dance apparently took from that, jumping to his feet as his voice rose.

" _o' course i have!_ " Red exclaimed, dropping the trash bag, his own volume increasing. "what th' fuck else was i s'pose t' do?!"

"i don't know! maybe _not_ avoid me like a leper?!"

"theres no pleasing you is there?" Red asked rhetorically, throwing his claws up. "i ain't givin' up on lust, so fuck off about it, but short o' that i've done everythin' possible t' stay out o' yer way! th' hell's yer problem?!"

" _you're_ my problem!"

"then why th' fuck 'r ya here?!"

"because-" Dance started, fully loaded and raring to go on what would likely have been a full tirade, only to be interrupted by the badger (which had been silent for the last few minutes) screaming at the top of its lungs. Dance jumped a foot in the air, landing on the bed behind him and pressing back into the far wall, as far away from the source of the (admittedly unnerving and otherworldly) noise as possible.

Red casually stepped more in the way between Dance and the vermin, this time trying to block out the sight of it completely, tightening his self control and reigning himself in. "look, just get th' fuck out o' here. ya made yer point. go tell lust i'm on my way."

"how about no!" Dance hissed.

"hows 'bout yeah?!" Red hissed back. "look at yerself! yer alone in some creepy crackhouse apartment with a monster ya hate, freezin' yer coccyx off, freakin' th' fuck out like yer on a bad trip! get th' fuck out 'fore ya hurt yerself!"

Dance glared at Red angrily. "who said i hated you?!"

" _you_ did!" Red reminded him. "when th' sight o' me in th' mornin' sent ya int' a fuckin' panic attack!"

The silence rang loudly between them. Red couldn't understand the myriad of emotions that shifted over Dance's face, racing across it so fast they distorted each other and bled together like the blurred image of a slot machine dial, until finally coming to rest on disbelief.

Then Dance's shoulders started shaking with laughter, soft and low, only to grow in volume and intensity until Red could hear his shitty box spring mattress squeak from the strain. Then Dance carefully slid off the bed, pulling the sleeves of the coat up enough to reveal his hands. "fine. fine. i know when i'm not wanted. i'll just..." Dance picked up one of the dimension boxes, holding it to his chest. "...do you a favor and take this back to Lust's place."

With that, he was gone, taking a third of red's worldly possessions with him.

Red rubbed his face, groaning softly. He really was a pushover, in the grand scheme of things. It was embarrassing. Considering how much he had fucked up in the last twenty-four hours, it was no surprise Dance and Lust didn't trust him. He really was a screw up.

So much for that. Red doubted even Lust would keep him around after this shitshow, no matter what he said last night. A guy can only handle so much. And as for Dance?

_Well, that had been a hopeless case from the very beginning._

The badger screamed again, and Red nearly lost it, summoning a blaster to fry the awful little vermin. The eldrich skull charged a beam of energy in its mouth, ready to fire, but Red dispelled it beforehand with a defeated sigh. Losing his temper would get him nowhere, after all, and it wasn't the badger's fault he'd sunk so low. That was all on him.

Picking up the trashbag, Red went back to cleaning, trying to figure out where to go to pawn off a few of his valuables. He wasn't going to take Lust's money, not for something like this. Red would just pawn off a few things. He must still have a few things worth selling left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so apparently dance isn't the only one with control issues..? just different kind of control issues?
> 
> also yes thats an icecap that keeps the apartment complex freezing all the time. red has eccentric neighbors rn and no insulation.


	21. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red is officially moved out of his crappy apartment (Lust burns that bridge with a smile), and someone has character development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been a very long day and its not even noon yet for our precious lil protags (well actually its more like 3pm but you know what i mean)

Lust got to work making a little room here and there in his little apartment for Red. It was a one-bedroom apartment, so there wasn't much he could do about extra space, but stuffing some of the things he didn't use into dimension boxes certainly helped with the clutter. _They would have to go house hunting for a bigger apartment to make this feasible long-term._ Lust felt his face warm and his magic prickle pleasantly in his SOUL at the thought. _he was gonna live together with Red! They were gonna be roommates!_

_Oh my god, they were roommates!!!_

Lust was glad for the few moments he had to himself, because he couldn't help doing an embarrassing little dance, then needed a moment to scream wordlessly into a pillow. He knew it wasn't coming about under the most ideal circumstances, but _living with his datemate_ was like a dream come true on top of all these other wonderful dreams come true.

Lust had managed to clean out half his closet by the time he heard Dance laughing in his livingroom. Springing to his feet, Lust practically skipped out of the bedroom to greet his datemate.

Dance sat on the couch, a large dimension box sitting in front of him on the coffee table. He was drowning in a familiar large leather coat, the sight sending a heated spark of something _good_ up and down Lust's spine. He purred, slinking over to snuggle into Dance's side. "so~ looks like things went well?" he hummed, arms snaking around Dance and pulling him closer, sighing happily.

Dance laughed dryly. "hardly. shit..." He reached up, wiping at his sockets with the back of the coat sleeve. "it isn't gonna work. we can't even have a decent conversation. we have nothing in common and he-" Dance stopped, rubbing his face again, letting out a breath he had been holding.

Lust swallowed down his own frustration. He could see there was a serious communication issue between them. "what? he what?"

"...he thinks i hate him..?" Dance finally admitted, sounding more like a question with the ending inflection. "i mean, he's not wrong, i do hate him. he's a violent bonehead."

Lust wanted to scream. Instead, he gripped Dance's hands in his and squeezed. "did you tell him how you feel?"

"yes!" Dance answered immediately. "well... uh... not in so many words?" He looked like he wanted to try and pantomime his way out. "guess i might have _badgered_ him a little... heh."

Lust quirked a brow, feeling like he was missing some important context. "so... why are you wearing his coat then?"

"i dunno? i was having a bit of a rant about how awful his apartment is, and he just..." Dance pulled one hand away, waving it towards the coat. "it was on me. and he... and it..?"

Lust sighed. A flustered Dance wasn't a particularly eloquent Dance. It was adorable how difficult it was for him to find words for genuine feelings, but made figuring out where everything went wrong that much harder. "okay... and what about your talk? what did he say, exactly?"

Dance clutched at his pantleg with his free hand, his grip on Lust tightening. "kept telling me to leave, admitted he'd been avoiding me. asshole..."

"did he say why?" Lust asked.

Dance paused. "because..? he, uh..." Realization dawned on him, gradating his confused expression into that of shock. "because he was... worried..?! about me having a panic attack?"

Lust brought his boyfriend's hand up to his face, nuzzling into Dance's palm. This wasn't just a matter of miscommunication, this was a matter of Dance being vulnerable to influence. Lust had been trying to figure out for a while now why it was Dance acted so different around Red than he did around Lust, why he acted different in public than he did when they were alone. The way Dance was slowly able to calm down and rationalize with only minimal prompting, made Lust wonder if perhaps there was a pattern: he couldn't help recalling that both times Dance had panicked around Red before, Red had also panicked _first_.

Dance leaned his head onto Lust's shoulder, letting the tension bleed out from him. His sockets drifted shut, and Lust could see the same look of regret and confusion on his face that he had seen before, after other moments of heated words or impulsive actions. Lust kneaded at Dance's shoulder, working away the last bit of tension from his graceful frame.

"this isn't gonna work," Dance finally muttered. "he's an asshole. it isn't gonna work."

Lust was starting to think that that phrase meant something different, or perhaps more, than even Dance knew or intended. "sweetie... maybe you could try expressing your feelings another way?"

"like how?" Dance asked, not looking up, clearly trying to stay as calm and collected as possible (something Lust was immensely grateful for).

Lust thought for a moment. "well... what you want is to date him too, right?"

"no!" Dance's sockets shot open as he denied reflexively, his face again turning that lovely shade of azure. Lust leveled him with an expression he hoped came off as both unimpressed but also encouraging. Dance groaned softly, nodding as he averted his gaze, looking ashamed and bitter.

Lust pressed a soft kiss to Dance's teeth. "sweetie, its okay. it's more than ok, actually. its wonderful. all we have to do now is find a way red will understand..."

"preferably one where there isn't a lot of talking involved, while we're at it," Dance deadpanned. "i think i've run my mouth enough thanks."

Lust chuckled, kissing Dance again, his SOUL aching for him, wanting to chase away his pain just as Dance had chased away his. "would it be easier if i was there with you?"

Dance shrugged in response, leaning back into Lust with a tired sigh. Lust brought his hand from Dance's shoulder to run along his skull.

_Guess they would try again after Red had moved in._

* * *

Red spent maybe an hour cleaning up as much of the mess as he could, ignoring his unwanted houseguest. When he was done there, he lifted the badger into the air with BLUE magic and marched it out of his apartment, down the hall, and into the basement where he knew the nest was. It wasn't the first time he'd had to manually extract one of the little vermin out of the apartment, so he knew exactly where to dump the thing so it scurried off in the right (enough) direction without getting too close.

Then Red went back to his room to look for something to pawn off. The fridge would get him a few G, and he might be able to get something for the TV (but not much). Itemizing all the things he could logistically survive parting with (whether he wanted to or not), his best bet to raise the money he needed was to sell some of his books.

Red knelt down and opened one of the remaining dimension boxes. The first one he opened had his clothes in it, so he closed that and moved it aside, grabbing for the second one. The next box had books in it, but those were his textbooks he used for work, as well as his grill (which he also used for work sometimes, when he could charm a permit out of the locals, or when he was strong-armed into babysitting the high school marching band), a few worthless nicknacks with sentimental value, and his doctorates. None of which he could sell (well, he _could_ , but he'd be an idiot to do so). Red closed the box and went to open the third, which had to be his library box... only to realize it wasn't there.

_Shit, Dance swiped it._

Red picked up the other two boxes, shortcutting into the livingroom of Lust's apartment. He immediately set the boxes to the side, relief easing his nerves upon seeing the third box on the coffee table.

"welcome home, sweetie," Lust purred from the couch, where he and Dance were cuddling together, laying longways with Lust on top, half burrowed in Red's coat, which Dance was still wearing. "all done?"

"just gotta pay th' months rent, then yeah," Red mumbled, flipping his box open and checking the contents. Some of the books weren't in the best condition (scavenged from the dump or bargain bins or yard sales -- even Red's attempts at refurbishing and restoration could only do so much), but he had a few first editions (rare gems found in the back of old bookstores, or gifts from his brother) that he could easily get a few hundred for, even taking into account how the shops would lowball him.

"oh, i'm sorry sweetie, i completely forgot to give you-" Lust started, sitting up and pulling away from Dance.

Red held up his hand to stop Lust where he was. "no. i aint takin yer money. yer doin' too much as it is."

"how much do you owe for this month?" Lust asked, stubbornly, standing up and stretching.

"none o' yer business," Red replied evenly, reaching into the box to swipe through the inventory, doing the math in his head for how many he'd need to make up the difference.

"so i should just give you a blank check, then," was Lust's cheeky response.

"no!" Red whined, trying to keep his voice down, his tone calm.

"so you have the money for it?' Dance asked.

"well, no-"

"then shut up, stop messing with your inventory, and tell us what you need," Dance hissed.

"not gonna happen," Red retorted, closing the box and picking it up. "i'll figure somethin' out."

"sweetheart," Lust simpered, slinking over to him and snuggling into his side, arms around his middle. "we have a solution, and thats for you to stop being stubborn and let us help," he purred, one of his hands settling on Red's ilia and squeezing gently, pressing into one of Red's deeper scratches. The warmth radiating off of Lust's every surface seemed to drip from him, and seep into Red's bones, demanding he _relax, give in, comply,_ an intoxicating combination of sensations that had Red's willpower crumbling faster than he could rebuild it.

"but i-" Red tried, only to be cut off when Lust slipped under his arm, getting between Red and his dimension box.

"put the box down, sweetheart," Lust half ordered, half pleaded, looking up at him through hooded sockets, his magic shimmering with unconditional trust and sincerity. Red wanted to fight it, to shout that he was supposed to be the one taking care of _him_. However, he also felt that pulse in his crusty black soul, the last few shreds of his love, hope, and compassion that riled against him, demanding he give his sweetheart anything and everything he wanted.

Even if that something was the last remains of his pride.

Red put the box down, using his BLUE magic to let it float gently back to the table without having to bend down.

Lust smiled up at him, bringing his arms up to wrap around Red's neck and pull him into a grateful, appreciative kiss, purring against him like it was Red who had done _him_ a favor. Red instinctively curled his own arms around Lust, supporting him and holding him closer. All the fight left Red, drained away through every point of contact, purged from him by Lust's genuine affection.

Red just couldn't say no, could he?

 _Damn it_.

Lust pulled away, licking his teeth, a salacious smile on his face. "now~ how much is this month's rent?"

Red ground his teeth, muttering the number under his breath, averting his gaze.

"i didn't quite catch that, sweetie," Lust pressed, ever gentle yet firm.

"996G," Red said, a little louder.

"w h a t ? !" Dance's voice came from the couch, cold and horrified. Red didn't flinch, but it was a near thing.

"i toldja it's too much t' ask," Red grumbled defensively.

"it's not worth _half_ that much!" Dance's outraged snarl continued.

"what do you mean?" Lust asked, shifting in Red's hold, presumably so he could face Dance without pulling away.

"the place is a one room -- not a one _bed_ room, but a one _room_ apartment, with a dinky bathroom to the side," Dance ranted. "it's got no insulation to speak of, no air conditioning or heating, no hot water, the electricity was cut off, and it's _infested with badgers_."

"well, when ya put it like _that_ ," Red grumbled, his face undoubtedly heating up and glowing from the shame of it all, that he couldn't even afford a place like that.

"red~" Lust's voice was quite. The quiet of an approaching storm. Red stiffened, bracing himself. "sweetheart~ is this true~?"

Red felt his perpetual sweating intensify. The tone of Lust's voice was too quiet, too sweet, like he was trying to overcompensate to cover up something decidedly unpalatable. Saccharine and cyanide.

 _It was hot_ , yes, but also worrisome, for Red had no idea what it meant, what pattern of behavior it heralded. He was once again thrown into uncharted territory and he was certain he could not afford to misstep.

"maybe..?" Red answered eloquently, realizing too late that he had once again given the Wrong Answer™.

Lust went silent again, tightening his hold. "...red~ sweetie~ why don't we go back and talk to your landlord together~?" He asked, the tone and denotation perfectly reasonable.

It was the connotation that made Red uncertain.

"nah," Red tried to brush it off, forcing some humor into his voice. "he ain't one fer conversation. hows about i just go back 'n deal with-"

"dance, sweetie~? since red is going to be unreasonable~ would you give me a ride, please~?" Lust asked, pulling away from Red.

"i dunno if thats a good idea," Dance started, clearly as put off by the idea of Lust being in that slum as Red.

"well, thats okay~ we can find out by going~" Lust reasoned, smiling sweetly. "besides~ that way i can pay the nice man in person~"

Red and Dance must have had the exact same thought at the exact same time, as when Red looked over to Dance, he was looking back with the same unease Red was feeling, his shoulders slumped in the same resignation. _Lust was going to get his way, one way or another. A line had been crossed and there was no going back._

They both held their hands out to Lust at the same time. Lust happily took hold of both, his left eyelight shimmering in a lovely, if unnerving shade of purple.

Red dragged them through to his soon-to-be-former bedroom, preying he hadn't just failed his sweetheart, his pet, a second time.

* * *

Lust had always considered himself a patient monster. He knew how to wait his turn, how to tell himself no, how to resist every earthly temptation imaginable. Despite it not actually being his primary alignment, Lust was rather proud of his patience.

Upon seeing first hand the conditions of Red's apartment, Lust felt nearly all of that patience run out.

Taking a deep, grounding breath, Lust headed for the door, unlocking it delicately and stepping out into the hallway. The wood creaked beneath his feet, and he heard a noise like the shriek of a banshee come from somewhere below. He could only assume someone was watching a horror movie.

Lust ignored the noise, and the cold, marching confidently through the unfamiliar hall, unsure where he was going, but knowing if he stopped now he would lose the tenuous hold on his composure that he still had. Red followed behind him, hands in the pockets of his shorts and shoulders up to make himself look as intimidating as possible without his coat to add bulk. Dance came up the rear, clutching Red's coat tighter around him and staying close, clearly rattled by the environment.

Lust made a mental note to pay Dance a little extra affection when they got home, turning a corner and finding a rusty metal staircase which didn't look all that sturdy. He took off down them, heading for the ground floor (since according to the sign they were on the second floor at the moment).

"lust, slow down, where 'r ya even goin'?" Red asked, his voice coming out tense.

"i'm looking for the landlord~ they usually have a ground floor room, right~?" Lust answered without turning around.

"well, yeah, he's got room 1a, but-" Red confirmed, which only made Lust widen his stride to take the steps two at a time, covering more ground without actually quickening his pace (lazy and elegance perfectly melded into efficiency). Lust made his way down and scanned the hallway for the room labeled 1A, before stepping before it and knocking twice.

Red came up behind Lust, bristling and sweating nervously. Dance wasn't far behind, in much the same state. Both of them looked like they wanted to grab Lust and run, although he couldn't for the life of him figure out why - after all, he was only here to have a nice, _pleasant little chat_.

Because Lust was a pacifist at heart. And wasn't this _sleazy, selfish, manipulative, abusive son of a bitch so mother-fucking lucky that Lust was too lazy and polite to rip his fucking spine out from his mouth and demonstrate a few advanced yoga poses involving him being face down in the musty carpet-_

The door cracked open, the sound of metal straining against itself telling Lust the mistrustful man peaking through the crack in the door hadn't bothered to unlatch the chain bolt. His wide, almost bulging eye sat far too wide on his chubby, greasy face, which had too much forehead thanks to his receding hairline. Lust couldn't see all of his face, but something about it looked exceedingly familiar.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" The slovenly man's voice said. "Looking for lodging, pretty thing? My apartments are full, but I think I can spare my-" he stopped, seemingly just now noticing that Lust wasn't alone. "Red? You're late with your rent, again. Do you have it yet?"

"actually~" Lust purred, smiling up at the human who was setting off all of his warnings, "that's why _i'm_ here~ see, i have a bit of a complaint to make~ do you take constructive criticism~?"

"No?" The human answered, going to close the door.

Lust caught it with his hand, not letting it close another millimeter. He locked eyes with the landlord. "first time for everything~ to begin, you charge far too much for the quality of your establishment. this month, red is going to pay you no more than 400G, and thats us being generous~"

Red gripped onto Lust's shoulder. "lust, stop, this ain't up fer negotiation-"

"sweetheart~" Lust tried to answer him patiently. "i value your opinion~ but now~ is not~ the time~"

Red tried to pull Lust back. Instead, Lust took a step forward, opening the door as much as the chain bolt would allow. The human, who had been trying to push the door closed, was shoved back a bit, and the alarm on his face was almost funny.

But nothing was funny about this. There was no humor in _his boyfriend_ being subjected to such poor conditions, and charged ridiculously inflated prices for shoddy housing. Lust was always up for a good joke, but there was nothing humorous about this... except that this _fucking pig thought he could get away with it without consequences._

"Red, get this slut away from here or-" the human started.

"excuse me~" Lust cut the human off, pushing a little harder on the door, making the chain strain and the wood of both door and frame whine in protest. "but i would appreciate~ if you would pay attention to me~ during this very~ important~ conversation~"

The human snapped his attention to where Lust's hand was on his door. Lust paid more attention to his face, where there was a healthy flicker of fear.

No remorse quite yet. Ah, well, can't win them all.

"now that i have your attention~" Lust purred. "recall, we were bargaining over red-sweetie's rent this month. i think it is _more_ ~ than reasonable to go as low as 400G, don't you agree~? considering the lack of hot water and heating~? which, you know, is illegal, and the monster embassy would probably find rather interesting~"

The human went pale, his eyes shining with alarm. "Yes! 400 is perfect! I was just about to fix that typo! Thank you so much for letting me know!" He stuttered quickly.

Lust smiled, releasing the door and reaching into his pocket. "wonderful~ see? but now that you're aware, i think you'll note in your record books that poor red has been dutifully paying the misprinted sum for a while now, hasn't he~?"

"Uh..." The human gulped. "Perhaps..? I would have to look..."

"i'm certain you'll find he's likely been paying the wrong sum for a _very_ long time~" Lust continued, pleasant as ever. "and since i'm sure neither one of us really wants to bother with a courtroom~? i think we can easily settle this between ourselves, right~?"

The human nodded eagerly. Lust felt Red's hand fall away from his shoulder, and he suppressed a chuckle.

"so~" Lust continued, "i think, given how tedious actually~ going through all~ of your _properly documented records~_ which i'm certain you've been keeping loving~ track of, how about we do you a favor~ and call it even~ if you wave this month's rent, and present us with, say, 300G of back pay~?"

"sweetheart, that ain't-" Red started, only to stop when Lust looked back at him.

"oh~ i know~ its not nearly as much as he actually owes you~ but lets show the poor fellow a little mercy, hmm~" Lust cooed, reaching back to take one of Red's claws in his hand, nuzzling it. "after all, this is a nice, friendly chat~ and making concessions helps to keep it friendly, don't you think~?"

When Lust turned back to the slumlord's door, he found the man holding out a wad of cash. "It's all I have on hand right now."

Lust took it delicately, counting it out. "245? well~ given that we sprung this on you so suddenly~? i suppose this will do~" He folded it enough to fit in his vest pocket, sliding it in there with an amiable grin on his face. "thank you so~ much~ for your time, sweetie~" Lust purred at the human. "such a shame we won't be meeting again, since red is now moving out~"

"Not a problem!!" The human said immediately. "Have a nice day!" He slammed his door shut, and Lust smiled wider as he heard a deadbolt slammed into place.

Lust purred, pleased that their talk had gone so well. "now that that's over..." He turned and pulled Red and Dance into a group hug, nuzzling them both. "why don't we grab dinner and go home, hmm? and the three of _us_ can have a talk?"

Dance and Red both stiffened in his hold. Lust understood; neither one of them apparently did well when it came to talking.

But that was why Lust was there. He would do all the talking if he had to. For them. It was the least he could do, when they had changed his world so much, made it so much better.

They were too important not to care about.

* * *

Dance had tried to pay attention to Red while he interacted with Lust. Dance just didn't know how Lust did it: he wormed his way right up to Red, fearlessly, twinkled his eyelights at him, and suddenly Red was a blushing mess, eager to please and devoid of any real argument or resistance. Lust had him so tightly wrapped around his little finger, Dance doubted there was anything Red would deny him (for long).

Perhaps that was simply a thing Lust could do, though; after all, there wasn't much Dance wouldn't do for Lust either.

Lust was the one to pull them all through a shortcut to one of the Grillby restaurants -- the dance-club one, which Dance's old friend owned and ran. Lust kissed both of them, before pulling away, asking them to wait outside while he ran in to grab them all lunch.

This of course left Dance and Red alone, together, in the neighboring alleyway. Dance looked up at Red, to find that the other monster was sporting his namesake all over his maxilla and nasal ridge, his single crimson eyelight constricted and quivering. He almost looked- no, he _did_ look embarrassed. He was embarrassed. It was almost- it _was_ cute. Red wasn't looking at him, looking almost delicate without the bulk of his coat, his thin ratty wifebeater hanging off of him loosely around the sides, showing a bit of his ribcage through the arm holes. Dance could see a particularly deep scratch, on one of them.

If he just took one step closer, he would be able to touch it.

If he just _said the fucking words_ , he'd be able to do a lot of things.

Instead, he shrugged off Red's coat (reluctantly, oh so reluctantly), and held it out to him. "thanks," he mumbled, looking away, already feeling bereft without the extra pressure on his shoulders or the miasma of watermelon and smoke.

Dance felt the weight of the garment lifted, and let go. "fergiddabout it," Red grumbled back as he presumably shrugged the coat back on.

The ever present chill in the air from Red's LV seemed to be fidgeting, agitated but lacking in aggression. Dance let his hood fall back down, rolling his neck and shoulders as he found he himself couldn't stand still. When he looked back at Red, he had pulled out a cigarette from his coat pocket. Lighting it up and taking a long drag, Red exhaled a shapeless cloud of smoke through his nasal aperture, some of his restlessness receding along with it. Red flicked his gaze back to Dance, eyelight scanning up and down him in a quick, practiced motion.

His eyelight hazed over, the color muddying again, and Dance could have sworn he again saw the sparkle of another color, another light. Once more, however, there was an interruption, and Red's gaze was pulled away by the sound of a passing group of rowdy humans. His stance widened, going lax and lose as his expression hardened, like a guard dog on alert.

Dance wondered how he had missed so many of these little things before, the way Red tilted his head to one side, how the hand holding his cigarette made sure never to cover his false tooth, how his posture changed so drastically based on his mode.

Stuffing his own hands firmly in his hoodie pockets, Dance tore his eyelights away from the other monster, kicking himself inwardly. He had no place asking Red to just set aside all the negative feelings they had towering between them, not for a passing fling, for a _stupid fucking crush_ that would likely only end badly.

Not when Dance had only ever made an ass of himself, despite everything.

There was no possible way this was ever going to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in case anyone cares, Lust just figured out why Dance is so bipolar-y : Dance has his own PTSD and issues, but he's also a Dancetale monster. and I HC Dancetale monsters are _super fucking sensitive_ to the intent and emotional states of those around them. Like, all monsters are sensitive to intent, but its like the difference between a cat's sense of smell and a dog's : both are much better than a human's, but one is still better than the other.
> 
> Usually, Dancetale monsters can naturally separate their own feelings from the feelings of those around them, but Dance has had a bit of trouble with that ever since he 'broke'. so now, he isn't even aware at all times whose feels he's channeling/reflecting, or that he's even channelling/reflecting anything other than his own feels, and it gets worse when he's stressed from his own stressors/triggers (like cold and blood and LV). this means sudden explosive bursts of emotion that he usually acts on without thinking, or full blown disassociation/panic attacks.
> 
> this is one of the (two or three) big reasons dance feels like he has no control over his life.
> 
> funny enough, red's LV seems to help block out other peoples bs, but it doesnt shield him from red or lust's stuff. and red is an angry, grumpy, bitter lil burnt marshmallow so he radiates lots of grumpiness, which dance in turn translates to salt.


	22. Missteps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance fumbles the ball due to interference

Lust eventually came back out with lunch, and the three of them returned to the apartment that would now be both Lust's and Red's home. Companionable silence fell, and with it, the energy Lust had apparently been running on. He only seemed to have enough to finish his burger, before he drifted off, slumping into Dance's side. Dance felt the weight of him, comfortable and familiar and warm, and found he was less than opposed to a nap himself.

He must have dozed off, because when he woke up, it was to his phone going off. He had (again, somehow) ended up laying longways on the couch, tangled up with Lust comfortably, soaking in his warmth. Red had slid down to sit on the floor, leaving the two of them with more legroom as he watched TV with the volume on low. His crimson eyelight snapped to Dance at the sound of his phone, but Lust didn't stir.

Dance carefully disentangled himself enough to get to his phone, answering it. "heya bro, wazzup?"

"BROTHER," Pap's voice came over the receiver, lower than normal and lacking his usual enthusiasm. "WE NEED TO TALK. CAN YOU COME HOME PLEASE?"

"uh," Dance looked down at himself, his free hand smoothing over Lust's skull, dipping under his collar on every down stroke, sending tiny sparks of magic through his hand as his pinkie brushed the leather. Lust made a soft, happy noise, snuggling more into Dance's ribcage. "yeah. i'll be home soon."

Papyrus hung up without another word (a bad sign). Dance can't remember the last time Paps had been so serious. He tucked his phone away, pressing his forehead to Lust's in a facsimile of a goodbye kiss, before worming his way off the couch and heading for the door.

He didn't have the guts to look Red in the eye, or say a word. _Coward. He should just say something, but no, he has to be as gutless emotionally as he is physically._ It wasn't like he knew the words to use anyway. And what did it matter? Even if he did manage to get passed the awkward maze of all the shit they had done to each other, they still didn't have anything in common... except Lust. But that didn't count, right?

Right.

Dance took his shortcut right before he reached the doorknob, appearing in his bedroom right in front of his own door, and walking out into the hallway of his and his brother's apartment. "paps? i'm home."

"IN THE LIVINGROOM." Came his brother's voice.

Dance made his way down the hall and around the corner. There was his brother, sitting cross legged on the couch; another bad sign, since he never sat down unless he was tired, someone had asked him to for the sake of courtesy, or there was a particularly unpalatable emotion he didn't want to broadcast with his movements.

And nobody else was in the apartment.

Dance stuffed his hands in his pockets, putting on a lazy smile. "heya bro. how was work today?" _Usually that was a good way to cheer him up, talking about his work._

"IT WAS WONDERFUL AS ALWAYS," Paps replied, running his thumb along the edge of his phone, the rest of his body unnaturally still. "ONE OF THE STUDENTS ASKED ABOUT YOU TODAY, WANTING SINGING LESSONS."

"singing lessons?" Dance chuckled. "i haven't done any kind of performing in years. you know that."

"DO I?" Papyrus flipped up his phone, showing a youtube video. "SHE WANTED HELP BECAUSE SHE'S ACTUALLY PLAYING A LEAD ROLL AT THE LOCAL COMMUNITY COLLEGE AND HADN'T QUITE GOTTEN THE NUMBERS DOWN. HOWEVER, SHE WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION YOU KNEW THEM QUITE WELL." He pushed play on the video, turning up the audio until it was on full blast.

 _"anythin' yuu c'n be, i c'n be great'r. sooner 'r lat'r 'm great'r 'n yuu."_ It was rough, and low, and deep, and hazed by inebriation. It was a voice that made Dance's memory itch. But while the voice itself caught his attention, what made it all the more mesmerizing was that it was clearly, without a shadow of a doubt, Red, there, in the video.

In the video, Dance saw himself take up from there, and the two of them went back and forth seamlessly. _Dance had no memory of this at all._ But as he watched, he could almost feel the pressure on his wrist, smell the intoxicating aroma of smoke and watermelon and madeira and whisky, see that hazed over sparkle of _playfulness_ and something _more_ in a hooded socket. It took until the end of the video, when he could see Lust moving forward to scoop the both of them up, for Dance to realize what exactly it was he had just seen.

_Red had seen a musical enough to memorize the lyrics, and had sung it with him._

_Red could sing._

_Red had propositioned him._

Dance could feel his magic swelling to his face.

"I HOPE THAT IS A BLUSH OF MORTIFICATION, BROTHER," Papyrus said, reminding Dance his brother was still in the room. "SANS. YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE."

"i... did..?" Dance asked, his mind not fully concentrating on the conversation anymore.

"YOU PROMISED ME NO MORE OF THIS ALCOHOL NONSENSE, AND YET YOU ARE CLEARLY QUITE INEBRIATED IN THIS VIDEO!! IN PUBLIC!! MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF!!!" Papyrus' voice rose with every denouncement. "YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T HEALTHY!! IT IS BAD ENOUGH YOU WILL NOT PERFORM OR DANCE, WHEN YOU SEEM TO NEED IT MORE THAN EVER, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD AT LEAST KEEP YOUR PROMISE TO ME, TO STAY SAFE AND OUT OF TROUBLE!!" He shut the phone off, rubbing his face. "BUT NOW I FIND YOU _HAVE_ BEEN DRINKING, AND YOU STAY OUT LATE ONLY STARS KNOWS WHERE ALMOST EVERY NIGHT, WITH WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE, DOING ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT, AND WHEN YOU DO COME HOME YOU CANOODLE WITH THE FRUIT AND- AND- I JUST DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF YOUR BEHAVIOR!!!"

Dance flinched, his SOUL trembling and swelling and sparking irritably with embarrassment and guilt and worry and anger. "i'm sorry i've never been good at keeping promises, pap, but i don't think it's something you need to worry about. _i'm_ the older brother, i think i know-"

"BUT YOU DON'T!" Papyrus interrupted him. "YOU SAY YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED BUT YOU DON'T!!" Paps rubbed his face. "AND... AND MAYBE I DO NOT KNOW EITHER, BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT DOING WELL!! I THINK YOU SHOULD GO SEE DOCTOR-"

"i told you before i am _not_ bothering alphys with a case of 'nothing,'" Dance deflected, as he had done so many times before.

"YOU NEED YOUR SOUL EXAMINED!" Papyrus insisted.

"nope. i don't. drop it."

"I AM NOT WILLING TO DROP IT IF IT MEANS DROPPING YOU AND LETTING YOU GO OFF CAVORTING WITH PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO BETTER!! WHO WILL LET YOU HURT YOURSELF AND SAY NOTHING!!"

Dance froze. His brother had always been a naive, optimistic monster, who believed anyone could be better if they tried. The words which had just come out of his brother's mouth were honestly the single worst insults his brother had ever given another living creature. It was tantamount to calling them vagabonds.

To calling Lust and Red unworthy of his attention and affection.

Dance had never been angry at Papyrus before in his life. He loved his brother dearly. This was probably the closest to anger at him he had ever come. "paps, bro, you don't even know them."

"YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT AS WELL!!" Papyrus continued. "YOU HAVE CLEARLY BEEN ASSOCIATING WITH THESE TWO FOR SOME TIME, AND CANOODLING WITH THE BIG ONE, AND YET-"

"canoodling?!?!" Dance sputtered.

"YES SANS, CANOODLING. IT IS WHAT DATEMATES DO. AN EXAMPLE OF WHICH IS NOW ON THE INTERNET OF YOU AND THIS LARGE EDGY FELLOW-"

"red and i were _not_ canoodling!" Dance defended, feeling his face burn harder.

"YOU ARE A VERY GOOD LIAR, BUT NOT ABOUT THIS, NOT TO ME. SANS, FOR STARS SAKE, HE HAD YOU IN A TRADITIONAL SMOOCHING POSITION, YOU WERE INCHES FROM EXCHANGING SLIME!! PLEASE KEEP UP WITH YOUR OWN DATING STATUS IF NOTHING ELSE!!"

Dance pulled up his hood and hid in it as he sat down on the couch beside his brother, unable to suppress a groan of emotional anguish.

"NOW," Papyrus continued, "AS I WAS SAYING, YOU HAVE BEEN CANOODLING WITH A DATEMATE AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BROUGHT THEM HOME TO INTRODUCE ME SO I CAN ENGAGE IN THE TRADITIONAL SIBLING EVENT OF EMBARRASSING YOU!!"

"thats parents, bro," was all Dance could think to answer.

"TRUE, BUT AS WE LACK THEM AT THE MOMENT I MUST FILL IN!! UNLESS YOU THINK WE SHOULD INVITE MISS TORIEL OVER TO COVER THE ROLL??"

"absolutely not," Dance said faster than he thought himself capable of.

Papyrus sighed. "BROTHER, I WORRY ABOUT YOU. I KNOW YOU CAN DO BETTER. AND... MAYBE I DO NOT HAVE THE BEST VIEW OF THESE COMPANIONS YOU HAVE, BUT YOU HAVEN'T EXACTLY GIVEN ME THE CHANCE TO MEET THEM EITHER. AND LEARNING ABOUT A WHOLE OTHER LIFE YOU'VE APPARENTLY BEEN LIVING THROUGH A YOUTUBE VIDEO ISN'T FAIR TO ME, JUST AS IT ISN'T FAIR TO YOU!"

"i told you i've been spending time with friends," Dance tried to defend himself.

"WHICH I ASSUMED MEANT GRILLBY, WHO AT LEAST CARES ENOUGH TO NEVER SELL YOU SOMETHING YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING!!" Papyrus reminded him. "HAVE YOU EVEN LET THESE NEW FRIENDS OF YOURS KNOW ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM??"

"i don't _have_ a problem," Dance retorted, crossing his arms. "i promised you i'd lay off the wine to make you feel better, but i don't have a problem."

Papyrus scooted closer, pulling Dance into a hug. "YOU DO HAVE A PROBLEM. I JUST WISH YOU WOULD SEE IT... SEEING A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO SOLVING IT AFTER ALL." He squeezed a little tighter. "I WORRY ABOUT YOU, SANS..."

Dance hugged back, knowing it was the least he could do. "i know..."

* * *

Dance ended up agreeing to ask Lust and Red over for dinner, although he made it clear that he wouldn't know when they would be available for it, especially given Red was moving. Paps was, blessedly, merciful about the whole thing.

That bought Dance some time to untangle the mess that had been made of his apparent relationship. _If thats really what you could call it. Which Dance did not. At all. What relationship? What canoodling? Paps was crazy._

Dance had to shortcut home from work the next day during every single break, just to scream into a pillow, because apparently work wasn't enough to chase away the mental image or the shadows of forgotten memories. It was a heavenly boon when his boss told him he could clock out early.

Dance took a shortcut to Lust's apartment, wanting, _needing_ , a little warmth and stability.

It was only when he got there, and found Red sleeping on the couch, alone, that Dance remembered Lust had work today too. Dance stepped closer to the couch, looking over Red. He'd had a shower, now wearing a mustard yellow shirt and red boxer shorts. A lilac blanket with pink bone prints was crumpled on the floor by the couch, having apparently slid off of him at some point after he'd drifted. He was clutching to one of the cushions, snoring softly as he drooled on it.

Red's coat was there on the back of the couch, unoccupied at the moment.

Dance seriously considered borrowing it. _Just for a little while. Just for a bit. Just until Red wakes up and he can try talking this out again._

Dance shook his head, turning his attention to Red himself.

The video echoed in his head, shifting back and forth between the third person perspective and the hazy, shredded memories diluted by alcohol.

Dance picked up the discarded blanket, leaning over Red to tuck it around him. Before he could pull back, Red's claw snaked out, snatching at Dance's wrist, his hold tight and unyielding. Red's socket snapped open, sharp and dangerous. Dance stared back at him, a shiver of fear shaking him to his core, that _maybe he had been right all along, maybe it had all been a trick, maybe-!_

Then the doubts were gone, and Red's grip loosened to something more delicate, firm but unresistant. "dance..?" Red asked, voice rough from sleep.

"we need to talk," Dance blurted. "uh. again."

Red groaned, letting go of Dance and rolling over, pulling the pastel purple blanket over his head. "lemme alone..." he mumbled, voice muffled by sleep and the cushion he was smooshing himself into.

Dance just stood there, blinking down dumbly at the sight before him: Here was a monster, LV14, who could have taken on a gang of thugs single-handedly; who drank and smoked and gambled with other similarly experienced and dangerous monsters; who was covered in scars, built like a tank, and could easily crush him with both hands tied behind his back; here was that same monster, hiding under a pastel purple knitted blanket, from a talk with him.

Surely Dance would be forgiven for laughing, the ridiculousness of the picture before him overriding any annoyance he might have been feeling at the moment.

"fuck you!" Red growled, sounding more petulant than angry.

"is that an invitation?" Dance asked.

"wut?" Red looked over his shoulder, peaking out from under the blanket.

"i said..." Dance started, suddenly realizing how much of an idiot he sounded like, how foolish and forward and utterly humiliating. "i- i said... uh..." He backed up a step, stuffing is hands in his pockets. "just seems like a _blanket_ invitation."

Red growled. "don't even fuckin' start."

" _quilt_ the accident, i assure ya," Dance lied, like a liar.

"nah, see..." Red sat up, moving slowly, tossing the blanket aside with one hand as he reached for Dance with the other. "pretty sure yer just chicken t' put yer money where yer mouth is."

"never been one to _eat_ my words," Dance retorted, tensing as he felt Red's claw grip at his hoodie, felt that gentle, tentative pressure as Red tugged just enough to coax him in his direction, but not pull him anywhere.

"i got somethin' better fer that mouth t' do than rattle off shitty puns," Red grumbled, keeping his voice low even as he guided Dance to come closer. Dance took the few steps needed to close the distance between them, finding himself standing between Red's splayed legs.

"what? my humor not your _taste_?" Dance asked.

Red clicked his teeth. "puns 'r b-tier jokes at best, 'n ev'ryone knows it."

"puns are hilarious," Dance argued, though even he could hear his voice lacked any real bite to it. _Why was he so comfortable, standing like this, with Red's claws so close to his throat?_ "but i'll give ya one thing; theres more entertaining stuff out there."

"yeah, like knock knock jokes," Red huffed.

"no," Dance huffed back, gripping Red's wrist and yanking it off him, before leaning forward enough to pin it to the back of the couch, one foot coming up to step on the cushion between Red's legs, letting him gain another inch in height by arching onto his toes. "like the noises you were making during out vacation."

Red's expression went slack, eyelight going out from shock, before it returned, smoldering, muted, shimmering with that lighter color Dance still couldn't quite identify. "oh-ho! kitten's got claws!" He snarked, leaning back as Dance loomed over him, sinking lower into the couch, nullifying the height difference between them. "what'cha gonna do? scratch me?"

"among other things," Dance growled at him, and he didn't miss the way Red's body shivered, how his fingers twitched and his face glimmered faintly with ruby light. The scent of watermelon and smoke and salt drifted faintly into the air. Dance leaned forward. "and if we're talking claws, i think it's you whose the kitten."

Red gulped visibly, the light dusting of magic swelling over his nasal ridge to a pleasant shimmering pink. _Stars, Dance wanted to see that light all over._ Dance pressed his thumb into Red's metacarpals, running slowly over the spaces between them. He could feel the energy there, the hum of a dangerous, powerful song, the chill of winter, the strength of the wind, the taste of watermelon. Each brush of his thumbs threw up sparks of _protection_ and _safely_ , sending a rush straight down to Dance's disobedient SOUL.

"don't think i'mma just-" Red suddenly cut off, his attention shifting from Dance to something behind him, his face turning a deeper shade of crimson.

"am i interrupting something?" Lust's voice asked, laced with hope and amusement.

Dance stood there frozen, looking over his shoulder at Lust, uncertain what the correct response here was supposed to be. Part of him was drowning in humiliation and shame, the other half just wanted to pick up where he'd left off, because he'd been _on to something_ , he was _finally getting what he wanted, it was literally right there in his hands, he can't stop now-!_

But the moment was over; now, instead of the confidence and curiosity that had been fueling his advances, Dance was sinking into embarrassment. He let go of Red's wrist and pulled back, going to hide in Lust's warmth from the shame of it all.

_What had he even been thinking?!_

No way is he bringing up dinner with his brother tonight.

* * *

Red yanked on his coat, feeling overly exposed and vulnerable. He didn't quite know how to process the last few minutes. He'd woken up from his nap after again hunting for a job (this time online; Lust's wifi was amazing), and there was Dance. And then Dance was... not running away? Not cowering? Not hiding? Not _judging him_?! He thought it might have been a dream (he did occasionally get nice ones, although it certainly wasn't often).

Then Lust had shown up. And Red had _known_ it wasn't a dream.

And that meant what, exactly? Red could only come to the conclusion that Dance had been genuinely propositioning him. What he couldn't figure out was _why. Why would he do that? What did Dance have to gain?_ He already had Lust. He already had Red's (admittedly less than stellar) protection and business. He had done nothing but despise and fear him since they first met, so what, exactly, had changed?

Was he playing with him? Red clicked his teeth irritably. He hadn't pegged Dance as the type to go out of his way to be cruel. Even so, it wasn't completely off the table: Red had just exposed himself as having numerous vulnerabilities, and he was still a competitor for Lust's attention. Dance might be trying to use a new tactic to get rid of him...

Red swallowed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He'd have to be more vigilant. He'd lost enough standing as it was.

Lust finished greeting Dance, affectionate and caring as ever, and pulled away to plant himself in Red's lap. "don't i get a welcome home?" he asked, wiggling his bone brows.

Red smirked, his mood lifting somewhat as he pulled Lust into his hold. _He still had his sweetheart, if nothing else._ God knows why, but Lust hadn't changed in the least (so far). If anything, he was even more excited, even more affectionate. "welcome home, sweetheart," Red rumbled, liking the way the phrase rolled between his teeth.

Lust beamed at him, nuzzling his skull against Red's. "did you finish unpacking?"

Red shrugged. "why bother? just gonna move again soon anyway."

Lust grinned. "yeah. after we find ya that summer job, we'll have to go apartment hunting together~" Lust purred, nuzzling. "maybe invest in a three-bedroom~?"

Red felt his magic warm. "ya talk like ya wanna make this a permanent thing..."

"you don't?" Lust asked, voice and face going serious and alert.

"i didn't say that!" Red spat quickly. "just didn't think ya would wanna guy what can't pay rent half th' year-"

Lust shut Red up (words and thoughts, all in one fell swoop) with a gentle clack of his teeth against's Red's straining grin, which relaxed considerably. "sweetheart, you have no idea how excited i am about living with you."

Red chuckled. "damn. here i thought i was s'posed t' be welcomin' _you_ home."

"you did," Lust answered, nuzzling again. "but we won't be moving anywhere for a while, so i think you'll feel more at home if you unpack a bit."

Dance moved to sit on the other end of the couch, pulling a juicebox out of nowhere (probably his phone's dimension box) and sipping from it as he flipped the TV on and looked for something to watch.

Red shrugged. "don't really got much anyway. just clothes, stuff fer work, a few bits o' sentimental rubbish, 'n my collection. not really worth draggin' it all out."

Lust pouted a bit, but shrugged his shoulders. "if you say so, sweetie," he hummed, clearly less than satisfied with Red's answer, but not enough to push.

Red chuckled. "ya just wanna snoop through my shit's what ya want."

"is that so wrong~?" Lust asked, striking a dramatic pose on his knees, before falling to one side so his head landed in Dance's lap, gracefully switching to snuggling against the other monster. Dance jumped a bit, but his smile softened, settling one hand against Lust's neck and jaw, stroking the joint with the side of his finger.

Red could feel how his fingers stirred the magic of the collar, brushing against it. He felt the intent to _cherish_ , to _comfort_.

As Red stroked idly at Lust's legs still in his lap, he decided it would have to be good enough that Dance gave Lust those things. He didn't really need them for himself, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAMN IT LUST YOU HAD ONE JOB
> 
> also oooooh Dance's bro's not happy~


	23. The Park (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance and Lust go on (what is supposed to be) a relaxing date at the Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was starting to get long  
> its hot garbage but here have it

Two weeks passed like a blur for Lust. He kept hoping Dance would try again to get to Red (he had been doing so well before Lust ruined the moment, and _oh, how Lust kicked himself for it for the next week_ ), but it never happened. If anything, it only made the tension and the silence between them even more intense. Lust had his theories that it had more to do with Red's feelings than Dance's (especially given the sheer volume of watermelon that Lust's smaller boyfriend consumed on a regular basis following the incident). The potential, left to stagnate in mutual pining, was driving Lust crazy.

It wasn't all bad, though. Now that he and Red were roommates ( _oh my god, they were roommates!!_ ), Lust got to wake up to this every morning:

Red curled protectively around Lust's body, usually with one leg hooked over his own (like this morning). One arm had snaked under Lust's head and curled back to hang over him, leaving Red's claws to scratch absently at his neck and jaw. Red's other arm was curled around and pressed to Lust's back, kneading at his spine. Lust purred, snuggling deeper into those arms, closing his sockets again to try and eke out just a little more cuddle time before work tore him away.

_Only one thing would make a morning like this better._

Lust sighed, kicking himself for being so selfish, _again_. He couldn't force a relationship. It had to come naturally. Patience was a virtue.

But _stars, if the thought of having them both here, right now, didn't just make his SOUL flutter like nothing else-_

Lust was drawn from his musings by the loud, obnoxious sound of Red's cellphone going off. Red growled, muttering vulgarities Lust hadn't realized were actual words as his one hand scrambled for his noisy phone on the shelf over the bed. It took longer than either Lust or Red would have liked for Red to get ahold of it and flip it open, cutting off the sound.

"some'ne better be fuckin' dyin'," Red growled into the phone, sockets still closed. Lust couldn't hear the other end of the call, but whatever was said (or whoever had said it) was enough to make Red roll over onto his back, sitting up in bed and glaring at the opposite wall as if doing so would cause the other party on the line to spontaneously combust.

Lust whined involuntarily at being so unfairly deprived of his bedmate, especially when he had been so comfortable. He retaliated by snuggling into Red's lap, nuzzling his hip and wrapping his arms around Red's spine and hips. Red stroked at Lust's skull apologetically, dragging his claws deliciously other his cranium in slow, even strokes, seemingly taking comfort from the action as the tension in his own body waned.

"how th' fucks that my problem? ain't my depart-" Red grumbled into the receiver, only to cut off as the other person spoke. "...so wha'di'ya want me t' do 'bout it?" He listened to their answer. "...when? ...how much? ...figures. fine, i'll be there. now fuck off." With that, Red snapped the phone shut, slamming it back onto the shelf and laying back down.

Lust snuggled closer again, purring as Red settled in with his teeth flush with Lust's skull. Lust was certainly curious about the call, but considering how tense his datemate now was, he thought it best to tend to him first.

* * *

Red had told Lust he would be out all day that saturday. True to his word, Red had gotten up at the crack of dawn, rummaged for something Lust couldn't identify in one of his dimension boxes, and left before Lust was awake enough to give him a proper goodbye kiss (although he felt it, how Red loomed over him, one claw alighting tenderly on his skull, before he leaned down and pressed his teeth to Lust's frontal bone, then his jaw, lingering there as he murmured, 'go back t' sleep, sweetheart,' and Lust did, clutching at the pillow and the sheets that still smelled like him).

When Lust was finally awake enough to function, he found Red had been thoughtful enough to make him breakfast: two toasted bagels and a few celery sticks sat waiting for him next to a jar of homemade mayonnaise. Lust wondered where it came from (had Red bought it from some artisan store?) as he dug in, purring happily at the taste.

Leaving the dishes in the sink, he waited for Dance to show up. Lust tried to kill time by laying on the couch, watching TV, but there was a melancholic air to the room. Something was missing. His internal clock was screaming that it was _saturday_ and saturday was the day he had both of his boys. There was no ignoring the absence of his larger datemate.

Lust kicked himself inwardly for his selfishness and greed.

Dance didn't keep him waiting long. Lust immediately threw himself into Dance's arms, nuzzling and purring.

"...that bad, huh?" Dance murmured, curling his arms around him. "want some help with that?" He put one hand on Lust's hip, kneading at it, an invitation.

Lust shook his head. "its not that... just... its saturday. and red's supposed to be here... but he has something to do, and won't be home till tonight."

 _And it felt empty without him here. It felt empty without him here before, but now it was worse._

Dance huffed, but from the way he looked around the room, Lust could tell he was feeling the difference (the absence) too. "well... we don't gotta stay here, neither."

Lust looked up at him, not quite catching on.

Dance smiled, equal parts shy and smug. "i mean, we haven't really been on a real- uh, you know?"

Lust raised a bone brow, before his smile spread three fold even as his SOUL hammered in his core with nervous delight. "you mean a _date_ ~? i'd l-" Lust caught himself, feeling his cheek flush hot with embarrassment at the near fatal lip of the tongue. "i'd like that. very much."

Dance blushed, immediately pulling his hood over his face to try and hide it. Lust snickered, kissing him before darting off to change into clothes he could wear out and about comfortably. He went with a pair of black hip hugger jeans (which he still needed a belt for) and his favorite human soul crop top.

Setting his lazy day baggy clothes aside (clothes that wouldn't be comfortable without sitting in a freezer or snuggling under Red's arm), Lust shortcut back out to grip Dance's hand in his own, already excited to have a proper date with his datemate. "where do you think we should go? the museum? grillby's? a malt shop, share something girly and overly sweet?" The possibilities were endless, really, and if Lust were honest with himself, he wouldn't care what they did as long as they did it together.

That excitement must have been contagious, because Dance gripped his hand back, then pulled him through a shortcut to a conveniently empty alleyway. "lets just take it easy today? lazy little day in the park? catch some sun? feed the pigeons?" He chuckled, and it was only because he'd heard it so many times before that Lust caught the nervousness bubble towards the tail end of it. "is that too lame?"

Lust snuggled closer, resting his head on Dance's shoulder. "that sounds perfect," He admitted, because it was true. Because it would be the two of them, together. And thats all Lust really wanted.

Well, that and Red to make it three, but that was just him being selfish. Lust pushed it from his mind, settling on being grateful for the collar around his neck reminding him Red cared.

He and Dance walked the last block to the park, hand in hand... only to find it less than the peaceful retreat they were expecting to find, which was, again, perfectly fine by Lust, as long as they were finding it together. If anything, the excitement, the noise, the people, the _energy_ of togetherness and camaraderie and- and- _oh sweet starlight, there were CHILDREN_ , Lust ADORED children!! He tightened his grip on his boyfriend's hand, quickening his pace and moving forward towards the tents and booths that were swarming all up and down the park. He could feel the smile splitting his face eagerly as he took in the activities.

It looked like a fair!

Dance let Lust guide him into the throng of people. Lust noticed to his ever-growing delight that the population attending the event was equal part human and monster. And there were _so many kids_. It made something warm and paternal fill Lust up, made him want to hug them and knit them snug little sweaters (even though he was honestly awful at most crafts) and make them little sandwiches and tell them awful jokes to get them laughing.

They were _precious._

Dance tensed as they mingled in the crowd, squeezing Lust's hand a little harder as the crowd became thicker. Lust looked him over from the corner of his sockets, checking for any sign of discomfort. Thankfully, Dance seemed perfectly at ease, the strength of his grip more likely a sign of wanting to stick close. He side eyed Lust, smiling softly, before indicating with the bob of his skull to one side that he wanted to check something out. Lust followed his lead, pleased as punch to find his datemate showing interest in something.

It ended up being a booth that was selling hot dogs. Lust cooed, looking up at the adorable kids (teenagers, really, but they were still kids to Lust) who were running it.

"two 'dogs, please," Dance ordered, already pulling out his wallet.

"make mine a foot long," Lust chimed in, seeing they were on the menu.

"don't _bite_ off more than you can chew," Dance warned playfully.

"i think i can _mustard_ up the nerve," Lust quipped back.

"i'll just have to _ketchup_ to ya, then," Dance snickered.

Lust nuzzled his datemate, giggling at their shared humor. Dance was shaking with mirth right along with him, until suddenly he wasn't. Lust looked up, confused at the swift change in Dance's posture. His boyfriend's smile was straining (nearly imperceptible if you weren't familiar with him, he was so good at hiding his expressions), his eyelights just that tiny bit smaller than they should have been normally. Lust followed his gaze, looking up at the kids who were working the stall.

It was Lust's turn to feel defensive: the teenagers were glaring daggers at the two of them. Their stances, their expressions; the carefree friendliness was gone, replaced with viscous loathing badly masked behind the sheerest curtain of false pleasantness, a last ditch attempt at trying to be cordial as they continued with their business exchange. Lust clutched tighter to Dance's free hand. Dance subtly shifted so he was between the stall and Lust, as if trying to be a shield between him and a perceived threat.

Dance paid for the hotdogs with a chuckle and a thanks, his eyelights focused and sharp even as he tightened his grip on Lust's hand, so much so it encroached upon painful. The two of them walked away without another word. Lust could feel the kids staring holes into the back of his skull, a palpable intent to hurt clinging to him for minutes afterward, ruining his appetite. He was just thankful it hadn't soaked into the food in his hand, thankful a few minutes of walking around would dispel it.

The tension in Dance's graceful, fluid motions gradually eased the further away they got from that stressful encounter. Lust tugged him gently towards a park bench, where they could settle down and relax with their snack. Lust knew he'd made the right call when he felt Dance lean heavily on him, soaking in his warmth like it was a rare commodity. Lust relaxed at the pleasant pressure on his side, slinging his arm around Dance's neck and pulling him closer, cradling his skull against Lust's shoulder, right up against the collar around his neck, which sparked protectively, soothingly, completing the trinity Lust so desperately needed for just that briefest moment in his SOUL.

 _Everything was okay. Racists were just inevitable. No reason to let it ruin their day._ Lust wouldn't let it, not when there were so many good things about today. There were better reasons to ruin a good day than some strangers' dirty looks.

Dance took a bite out of his hotdog. Then his smile curled more genuinely. "gotta admit, they make a _mean_ 'dog."

Lust laughed, kissing him, before devouring his own snack.

The two of them sat there, just enjoying each other's company and the distant musical blaring of a marching band, until Lust's curiosity began to itch and he was ready to explore again. Dance, luckily, also seemed up for another try, their short cuddle session seemingly as rejuvenating for him as it had been for Lust, which Lust was grateful for. He wanted Dance to have fun too.

The two of them continued on their date, Dance's arm around Lust's waist now, his thumb hooked possessively over the flair of Lust’s iliac crest. Lust smiled, slinging his arm over Dance's shoulder. The world just felt... right, like that, like this. Yes, a piece was missing (Lust couldn't help reaching up to tug longingly at his collar, to get those little sparks, reminders that even though Red wasn't there now, he was still _there_ , and would be coming home to him soon), but with Dance stedfast by his side, Lust couldn't be anything short of content.

And... they were on a date. _Oh, god, Lust was on an actual real live date with his real live datemate and Dance was publicly showing affection and wasn't ashamed of him!!!_ The enormity of that dawned on Lust all at once, and he had to pull Dance aside, had to pull him close and wrap his arms around him and kiss him in the shadows of a colorful tent. Dance made a noise of surprise, then another noise that was hunger and satisfaction all at once, pulling Lust closer, making him feel wanted, needed.

Lust broke the kiss with a nervous giggle. "sorry... i just-"

"you don't need to be sorry for- for, uh-" Dance stammered, flushed that pretty azure that Lust adored.

"yeah..?" Lust asked, already knowing the answer (even if he still had a hard time believing it).

"yeah..."

They held each other like that, calming down from the spike of emotion. Lust purred, nuzzling his head against Dance's shoulder, listening to the crowd that was all around them, the shrieks of distant laughter and the rumble of happy voices, juxtaposed against the soft, steady white noise of Dance's unnecessary breathing. He pushed down the heat that simmered in his marrow, unwilling to let it interrupt this innocent, untainted event, unwilling to end it so soon.

It was Dance who eventually ended the moment, guiding Lust out again into the sun, the crowd, the celebration of community. He made a point of going to every booth, sharing the experience with Lust, treating him to little snacks and playing the games with him.

It would have been perfect if not for the way all the kids were looking at them. Everywhere they went, teenagers, both human and monster, gave them dirty looks. The adults, the chaperones, the volunteers, those folks didn't give them a second glance. But the kids? The kids seemed to have collectively decided that there was something abhorrent about Lust and Dance. Lust let it slide right off of him (or he tried to -- he couldn't help that twinge of hurt that twisted in the deepest part of him, that somehow he was so awful, so depraved, even children would denounce his existence now), but he could see it was starting to irritate his boyfriend.

They both silently agreed to ignore it, exchanging a quick, chaste kiss as they meandered down the walkway, getting closer to the amphitheater (where the marching band had left and the orchestra had started playing in its place).

The crowd was thicker the closer they got to the source of the music, but the adults thinned out, replaced more with the kids that seemed to be largely running and enjoying the event. More smiling faces turned to hateful glares as they walked, scowls and murmurs of disdain echoed in the air. Beside him, Dance tensed even more, grinding his teeth.

"sweetie, maybe it would be a better idea to, i dunno, go home to enjoy lunch..?" Lust suggested, sweetly.

"no," Dance said, that note of finality echoing in his voice, resolute to see this through. Lust shook his head, nuzzling closer. He supposed if Dance was alright with it, he would be too (not the first time he'd gotten this treatment, and surely not the last either).

He just wished he knew the why of it.

* * *

Dance clutched that little bit tighter to Lust's hip, pointedly keeping his eyelights straight ahead. This date hadn't gone the way he'd wanted it to at all. He'd been going for calm, quiet, relaxing, just him and Lust and nature. What he got was a huge production. He would have left immediately if Lust's face hadn't lit up like giftmas had come early, and charged into the throng of people with renewed purpose, his melancholy forgotten. It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for all the dirty looks they were getting.

The weird part was that it wasn't even racism. Dance could see it; the kids were happy to see them at first. The looks came after, like a switch had been flipped, like they had broken some unspoken rule and been painted as criminals or traitors to a club they didn't realize they had been a part of. The adults didn't give them the same treatment, seemingly used to seeing skeletons around. It was only the kids, the teenagers.

Dance almost took Lust up on his offer to leave, but he couldn't do that. He _wouldn't_ do that. He knew Lust was still having fun, was still enjoying himself despite everything. He would find a way to turn it all around, but in the meantime, they would find a quiet place to wind down and relax, enjoy nature.

They were nearly there when Dance felt it; something was flying at them. Dance grabbed Lust around the waist and dodged to one side. He heard a cracking noise, a splattering noise, not a moment later. When he looked, he saw it, an egg broken open on the tree right next to where they had just been standing, yolk sliding down the trunk to pool in the grass impotently.

Before Dance could wrap his head around the fact that _someone was trying to egg them,_ a second projectile flew through the air. Dance dodged this one as well, using the trajectory to try and find he assailant. He picked a pale human boy out of the crowd, hand already raised to toss the third egg from one of the three cartons under his arm.

"Good idea, Kevin!" A voice called out, filled with righteous retribution and no small amount of sadistic glee.

"Does he just carry a random egg carton everywhere?" One person asked.

"I mean, probably?" A second responded, shrugging. "It's Kevin." Like that explained everything.

Kevin threw the next egg, and Dance jumped to the side, pulling Lust out of harms way. "whats gotten into you, kiddo?" Dance asked, trying to stay calm. Lust's heat at his side was incredibly helpful in that regard. "don't you know throwing eggs at people is a pretty _fowl_ thing to do?"

Lust snorted, shaking with quiet laughter, leaning up to kiss his cheek, oozing relief. Dance smiled wryly. He hated that Lust's first thought must have been that he was going to have a breakdown. Over a few broken eggs. He _hated that_ , just like he hated that it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. He could already feel that rush of electricity, of impotent but demanding energy making his legs feel both weak and strong all at once, demanding fight or flight.

Dance pushed down the feeling hammering in his ribcage, in his rebellious SOUL, pushing down and ignoring the fact that there was an angry teenaged boy throwing things at him and his boyfriend. He did it by focusing on Lust, on how warm and comforting he was, on how he was laughing, having fun despite everything about this date having gone to hell.

Kevin threw the rest of his first egg carton at them, not landing a single hit because, "do ya expect us to just stand there and take it?"

"Yes!" Kevin snapped in ever increasing frustration. "Take it like a man!"

"but don't ya prefer to give it, baby~?" Lust whispered in Dance's ear. And _oh,_ , Dance couldn't decide if he wanted to pin Lust to a wall and prove him right, or double over laughing, or curl up into a blushing ball of nerves, but he was grinning now. He was _calm_ and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why he was _calm_ when this should have had him a nervous wreck. Maybe it was because he knew Lust could take care of himself (maybe better than Dance could), maybe it was because these were _fucking eggs_ and not the little white bullets they so very much looked like. Maybe it was because he refused to let anything else ruin their date today.

But then Dance looked out into the crowd, and felt a shiver run down his spine. There was genuine hate in those eyes, in the eyes of humans and monsters alike, who had gathered to watch.

"what is it you think we did, huh?" Dance asked, trying to figure out what it was that was driving these kids to attack them.

Kevin didn't answer, just continued to throw eggs until he ran out. Then he darted off, clearly still utterly enraged over something. Dance and Lust looked at each other, and Dance could tell that Lust was just as confused as he was.

"Aw, man," One of the kids in the crowd complained. "Not fair."

The crowd that had built up dispersed now that the show was over, leaving Dance and Lust with more questions than answers.

A knowing laugh came from one of adults nearby. "Oh, dear, you must have offended the science teacher."

Lust looked over. "what??"

The human came over, all patient smiles and mirthful eyes. "Kevin only ever gets the eggs out if you insult the science professor. For all he acts like he doesn't care, he cares a lot... He's a good kid deep down..." She looked off after where Kevin had run, sighing. "It would explain why the other children seem to have it out for you. I was in your shoes last semester after I accidentally bumped into him and spilled his lunch on the floor. The kids kept stealing all my chalk for a month."

Dance huffed. "we haven't even met any teachers. how could we have upset one enough to get an army of kiddos sic'ed on us?" That didn't even make any sense. Dance could count on one hand how many people he'd interacted with in the last few months, and none of them were in the education business except his brother.

Lust giggled. "i don't know, but you have to admit, its adorable they love him so much."

The human shrugged. "I think so too, especially given his... prickly disposition. Not that he isn't pleasant! He's intelligent, and meticulous, and he has such a way with the kids, it's really a sight to behold!" She covered her mouth, realization dawning on her. "Oh, listen to me, gushing about him when I should be asking if you two are all right!"

"we're fine. just confused, and maybe a little amused," Lust dismissed her concern with an elegant wave of his hand, smiling brightly.

"I apologize for Kevin's behavior," the human assured them. "I'll make sure someone has a talk with him. I'll let Mr. Serif know right away, before I forget!" The idea of talking with this other person, this 'Mr Serif,' seemed to be a source of excitement, like the human had been waiting for any excuse to strike up a conversation. She started power walking towards the amphitheater.

Dance buried his face into Lust's shoulder, needed a moment, just a moment, to decompress. He wasn't particularly fond of strangers, or having eggs thrown at him, or humans in general, and he just needed a minute to gather himself. He'd wanted a nice relaxing day lazing about in the shade of a stupid tree with his boyfriend to take their mind off his _stupid fucking crush_ , thats all he had wanted. But no. _That_ would have been _too easy_. The whole day had to be filled with loud chaotic people giving them dirty looks and then have some psycho kid throw a dozen eggs at them.

Lust rubbed at Dance's back, kissing the side of his skull. Dance took a deep breath. That sense of calm still lingered on the fringes of his mind, and that, coupled with Lust's warmth, his scent, was enough to ground him again.

"you sure ya don't wanna head home, baby?" Lust asked in that soft, soothing voice, sweet and sincere and understanding. Dance hugged him tighter, seriously considering it this time. Going 'home' meant heading back to Lust's place, where they could curl up and snack on pizza and watch movies and forget all about children and eggs and-

"wait. did she say 'mr serif'??" Dance asked out loud, knowing the answer already.

"um... i think so? why? name ring a bell?" Lust probed.

"no way." Dance pulled away from Lust, gripping his hand and spinning to march with purpose the same direction the human had gone.

 _He had to be wrong. There was no way._ But Dance had seen it on paper too many times over the last few years to be mistaken. He knew that name.

That was Red's last name.


	24. The Park (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Red's been doing at work while Dance and Lust have been busy, and the aftermath

Red slumped in his seat behind the amphitheater, groaning softly. He had been listening to the marching band and orchestra trade off shifts all day, drawing attention to the fundraiser fair. Admittedly, Red had a sweet gig: all he had to do was keep the kids fed (and help move the bigger instruments around), and he didn't even have to interact with anyone else. He admitted it had been almost relaxing, hunkered down with his old grill, cooking up hotcats like the old days back at his illegal hotdog stand (minus the gritty taste of dust in the air, and the occasional dumbass who forgot the old magic that kept vendors from being drawn into FIGHTs, _haha suckers can't touch this!_ ), getting a kick out of jokingly charging the kids outrageous prices or making under-the-table deals.

His area was rather litter-free thanks to one of those little deals, heh.

Of course, Red had known the moment they arrived that Lust and Dance were at the park. It wasn't surprising or unusual. People went to the park for dates all the time. It really wasn't his business as long as they were- as long as _Lust_ was safe (Dance wasn't his business, he wasn't, he needed to stop pretending, he needed to stop thinking of Dance that way), since they were dating and he was fine with that. He was _fine_ with that as long as they were _safe_.

It wasn't like he wanted to join them or anything.

...Who was he kidding? Of course he did. He wanted to follow them around like a _fucking puppy_ and make sure they _stayed safe_ , make sure nobody gave Lust the stink eye (and that Dance stayed warm, it was a little windy today, what if he got cold? Dance hated the cold right?), and maybe treat them to some delicious food. He knew the Home Ec classes were busting their asses at various different stalls, and one of them had a kid who could whip up a mean churro (he had no idea what a fucking churro was, but it was delicious with mustard and his fat ass had scarfed down at least seven since this morning).

Right now, though, he had his face buried in his arms, a little drained both emotionally and magically after pulling one of the band kids out of a tuba, and then he'd had to do the stupid back rubbing thing, and talk all quiet and shush them and let them cling to him like a goddamn koala because claustrophobia is a thing (and _seriously if he got ahold of the punks that kept stuffing Sam in the fucking tuba he was gonna have a **good time** giving them a piece of his goddamn mind_ ), and it had taken forever and a day to get the little shit calmed down enough to even attempt asking about his parents, and by that point they didn't really need or want them anymore.

Bright side, there was a kid off to fetch him another churro while he again manned his grill.

Downside, he needed a drink and he wasn't gonna fucking get one.

Red was just pulling himself back together, flipping his hotdogs so they didn't burn, when he felt Lust and Dance approaching. He looked up, debating whether or not to get the fuck out of dodge (fuck only knows the last thing he wanted was to interrupt their date), or stay put and see if they pass by, when he saw another teacher approaching, making a beeline for him. It was the AP English teacher, Ms Whats-her-name, Susan? (He thinks her name is Susan but he honestly doesn't care, her name isn't his problem). She practically skipped over to him, leaning over his counter as if it were the only way he'd be able to hear her, her chest puffed up a bit more obviously thanks to the angle and the way she held herself.

"Red, do you happen to have a moment?" Susan asked sweetly, batting her fake lashes at him (he had to admit, for a fake bitch, she did her makeup pretty well; he could almost pretend it was natural).

"technically," Red answered, honestly paying more attention to the approaching signal from Lust's collar as it made its way closer.

"Well, I just wanted to inform you that Kevin got the eggs out again," Susan hummed, smiling at him.

"th' fuck he do now?"

"A couple of monsters almost got egged," the human continued, leaning forward a little more. "You should probably talk to him when you get a chance. You're the only one he'll listen to."

"brat don't listen t' nobody," Red huffed, rolling his neck to crack it.

"Well, that may be true, but you sure do have a way with the kids," Susan praised (wrongly, oh so wrongly, Red didn't have shit over the little brats other than a healthy fear of consequences). "And, well, you're rather... eloquent."

"nice way o' sayin' i got a big mouth," Red quipped, unwilling to soften his abrasiveness any further than that.

"I'd honestly like to talk more with you, you know. Its been years since we've known each other, and you never seem to have any spare time," Susan complained, looking around like she was checking they were alone -- they were, not a single kid or other adult in sight, the only soul approaching being Lust and Dance, but even they were still a ways away.

Red quietly wondered how it was she hadn't gotten the hint that he wasn't the social type, or, at least, not with people he had to work with. He had no intention of letting any of his private life get back to the principle, or the board of education; as far as they were concerned, he was a perfect motherfucking angel who never said a single swear or smoked a single weed or even sniffed at a beer can (he wanted to keep his shitty job fuck you very much).

"Maybe you and I could grab a coffee after this? Decompress?" The human pushed forward, literally as well as metaphorically.

Red could feel that Lust was well within sight by now, even if he was too wary to look away from the human now in front of him. _Fuck,_ if Lust hadn't been on a date with Dance, he'd be more than happy to brag about how he already had a pet, already had someone. As it was, would it truly be fair to pull Lust into his bullshit? His sweetheart didn't need any drama today, he got enough of that, and Red wasn't going to dump any more on him than he absolutely had to. "nah. nice offer, but i got plans."

"Oh? Plans to do what?" Susan asked. "Maybe I could join you?"

"plans t' go home 'n-" Red thought fast. "-read." Yeah. Read. Read books. Thats a thing he did when he was at home. Especially now with actual light to read by besides his own eyelight. Especially when Lust was at work and couldn't see what it was he was reading. Wasn't even a lie. He was gonna read the fuck out of that new book Boss got him (because of course Boss fed his guilty pleasure, of course he did, it was one of the only addictions Red had that wasn't some kind of unhealthy).

"Read? Anything interesting?" The human inquired, almost sounding legitimately interested. It made sense (she was an English teacher, books were kind of her thing). _Fuck, he was bad at this._

"nothin' worth ment'nin'," Red deflected.

"Well, I just go ahold of a new fantasy novel. Or, at least it's new for me. Maybe we could... read it together?" She sounded so hopeful.

And it was only then that Red felt it, the way she rested her hand on his arm. And Red wasn't completely oblivious. He knew that was a Move. He knew that somewhere along the line he must have missed a few signs because suddenly Red was in the middle of a _completely different conversation_ where the connotation of every word was called in to question.

"uh..." Red's first instinct was to snarl, 'fuck off', it really was, but _that wasn't an option._ He couldn't talk like that here, where some punk ass kid could overhear, and not to a coworker that could just as easily let it slip to his boss. The next ideas in his list of Ways to Respond to Something Unfavorable™ were all equally bad, some worse than others. Red could think of twenty seven ways to express how very much he did not want to do that, with her, at all, and that she was barking up the completely wrong tree, but none of those ways were strategically sound and he was drawing a blank for how to get out of this, _how the fuck are people supposed to say 'no' in this situation there isn't even any food to reject what the fuck is he supposed to say?!?!_

_Say something you dumb fuck!_

"no?" _Oh, real smooth, buddy, you are a fountain of wit and wisdom_.

"Well..." Her hand tightened its grip on his arm, sliding up an inch or so. "Maybe we could do something a bit more exciting than reading..?" And _ok, wow, if he hadn't picked up on the hand gesture, that intonation would have clued him in to the direction her thoughts were heading_.

"i-" And this was it, this was the extent of his talents in being nice. He didn't have anything else. What was he gonna say? 'I have a Boyfriend'? It wasn't a lie, but it was sure as fuck gonna sound like one. Who the hell was gonna believe a guy like him would have a steady relationship? _When the fuck did he step into the twilight zone where this was even an issue??_

"he has a boyfriend," a salty, cold voice interrupted. Red finally broke eye contact with the human to see Dance standing there, arms crossed, looking more pissed than Red had ever seen him (besides those times someone was dumb enough to insult Lust).

Red just couldn't wrap his head around why.

* * *

Lust let Dance pull him along, following after the human who had made their way excitedly through the crowd. Lust wasn't certain what had prompted Dance's sudden interest (he was certain his boyfriend would want to go home after all of that, maybe curl up on the couch, cuddle, maybe let Lust give him a massage he desperately needed). Lust didn't mind (all things considered it had been a wonderful date, and he'd be happy to keep going), but he was certainly curious.

Then they rounded the corner, and Lust had to do a double take for a number of reasons.

First there was that human woman, leaning on the sill of a booth, doing that move that human females did to exaggerate their bosom provocatively, a technique he'd had plenty of opportunities to see in action from various angles. That wasn't bad, in and of itself, but...

There was Red, _his Red,_ on the receiving end of it.

"Maybe we could... read it together?" the human asked Lust's boyfriend, placing her hand on his arm with a casual, easy motion that Lust had used himself more times than he cared to think about.

Lust had never seen Red look more uncomfortable than he did in that moment, tense and stiff, his eyelight a solid mass of light, focused and frantic, looking for an answer to an answerless question.

"uh... no?" Red responded, sounding so much smaller and uncertain, so out of his element, hit from behind by a surprise attack he hadn't even considered.

And that should have been the end of it. Red had said no. He'd given the correct answer and _that should have been the end of it._

"Well..." Apparently the human wasn't taking the hint, because her hand crawled up his arm, settling somewhere else like that was supposed to change his mind. "Maybe we could do something a bit more exciting than reading..?"

And Lust would have been fine with it, if Red wanted to do that. He would have been perfectly fine if Red wanted to have a little side action every once in a while, as long as Red came home to him every night. It would have been unfair for Lust to expect more. But Red had said _no_ ; and this _bitch_ wasn't backing off; and Lust suddenly understood what it was Dance had been feeling that night in the bar, why Dance had punched that guy in the face, because Lust suddenly wanted very, very much to punch this woman in the face.

Dance was way ahead of him, letting go of Lust's hand and storming forward, borderline apoplectic, fists trembling with fury at his side until he crossed them to keep them steady (or maybe to keep himself from punching another person in the face).

"i-" Red tried again, before clicking his teeth shut, his argument lost before it even began.

"he has a boyfriend," Dance hissed with all the vehemence Lust was feeling.

The human and Red both snapped their heads to the side, gapping at Dance with matching expressions of confusion. Red's quickly shifted to nervousness, concern (though Lust had to admit it probably wasn't as obvious to someone who didn't know him as well, who wasn't as adept at reading faces as he was), a look like that of a puppy caught misbehaving. Lust quickly darted over to his side, snuggling up against's Red's back. He slung one arm around Red's neck as he hooked his chin over Red's shoulder, looking the human dead in the eye. "red is very much spoken for~" he purred, using his other hand to grip at Red's arm above where the human's grubby mitt was, symbolically blocking her advances.

Lust was certain his grin grew exponentially as he felt his sweetheart relax back into him, his rigidity and uncertainty melting away.

"What..?!" The human pulled her hand back, standing up straight again, looking between Lust and Dance with as much shock as human facial features were capable of expressing.

"toldja i had plans," Red huffed, reaching up without looking to hook a claw around Lust's collar, and tug gratefully.

"so maybe," Dance growled, coming over and planting his hand firmly on the countertop, settling himself into that space, forcing her to back up and away, "you don't try to interrupt them again, huh, pal?" His grin was stretched too wide, to tight, too strained, eyelights boring into the human with merciless icy judgement.

The human backed up another step. "I- Well- I mean-"

"see ya at work, susan," Red said pleasantly, easily, like nothing happened.

_Giving her an out._

"Yeah. See you later, then," the human said, before heading back the way they had come.

None of them moved until she was out of sight.

Then Red let out a breath he was holding, rubbing his sockets. "what th' f-" He caught himself, slamming his teeth shut again. "what. just. happened??"

"what are you doing here??" Dance demanded.

Red looked back at him. "i'm workin'. aint tryin' t' crash yer date 'r nothin'. just-" he waved vaguely with his other hand. "go on, enjoy. i'mma be right back here till cleanup anyway-"

"Mr. Serif?" a voice called out from the opposite direction as the human had gone. Everyone turned to look, seeing a skinny hamster monster child holding two paper bags filled with some kind of long pretzel looking things. They looked a bit dubiously at Dance and Lust, before looking to Red (to Red!) for reassurance.

Red beckoned with one hand. "'s a'aight, kiddo. they ain't gonna bite ya."

The kid came closer, holding out one of the bags for Red to take. Lust could see the poor thing had been crying recently, their eyes rimmed red and puffy that fleshier creatures got after crying too long, too hard. "Thank you for the churros..."

And Lust had to tighten his grip on Red a little, his SOUL hammering in his chest, because _he knew what food meant to Red_ , he knew it, and those churros that kid was holding had nothing to do with Red's job with the hotdogs he could smell on the grill, had nothing to do with work. he swallowed back a noise he couldn't be sure would be a laugh or a sob.

"don't mention it," Red rumbled. "seriously. don't mention it. i got a reputation."

The kid smiled brightly, eyes twinkling with laughter they weren't quite ready to express yet. They eyed Dance and Lust one more time, before heading off to enjoy their snack in peace.

Red sighed, before picking up one of the churros delicately in one claw and biting a good chunk off.

"oh my god, you're actually a real teacher," Dance breathed. "someone actually lets you teach their kids."

"'let's a strong word," Red thought out loud, "but yeah. keep it under yer hat tho. i still got a rep."

"you're actually smart enough to teach kids basic science..?!" Dance demanded incredulously.

"non yer business," Red answered, picking up another churro and offering it to Lust before finishing off his first one.

"sweetheart, i had no idea you were a teacher! you teach science!! thats wonderful!" Lust praised, taking the treat gratefully, glad to feel it was monster food. "are these any good?"

"wouldn't be eatin' 'm if they weren't," Red reminded him.

"you're a _teacher_ ," Dance repeated, leaning on both hands over the counter, staring at Red with such intensity it sent a shiver down Lust's spine by proxy.

"it ain't a big deal," Red grumbled, avoiding eye contact, that faint dusting of pink on his face betraying his embarrassment.

"what, next you're gonna tell me you have a phd in astrophysics."

"quantum physics, actu'lly."

"you're jokes aren't funny."

"not jokin', but go off i guess," Red shrugged, popping another churro in his mouth before turning to pull the batch of hotdogs off the grill.

The look on Dance's face was priceless, an amalgamation of shock and something distressingly close to arousal. Lust smirked, wiggling his brows suggestively in his smaller boyfriend's direction before kissing at Red's jaw. "i knew you were smart, but this is just too sexy~"

Red rolled his eyelight, his face burning a little brighter. "yeah yeah, yuck it up. its a livin' a'aight? steady job with steady pay that ain't goin' nowhere, 'cept fer th' summer..."

Lust hummed thoughtfully. "when is your shift over?"

Red settled the hotdogs into buns, setting them out on display for anyone who came around the side. "i'm babysittin' the band 'n orchestra. they're gonna cut out 'round 4, when a local music band's gonna play pro bono. all i gotta do then's help 'm move th' instruments back."

Lust looked over to Dance, who was clutching at the counter, eyeing the area skeptically, looking, waiting, like he expected something (or someone) unpleasant to come around the bend. Lust smiled. "would you like some company?"

Red turned back to face him. "thats nice o' ya t' ask, sweetheart, but ya don't gotta stick around fer my sake. go enjoy yer date."

"we're gonna," Dance grumbled, walking around the counter and taking Lust's hand. Lust let him be pulled out, wondering if maybe he had read his smaller boyfriend wrong, before giggling in delight as Dance pulled him to the ground on a comfortable patch of grass, letting them lean against the side of the building Red's hotdog stand was stationed next to.

Lust got comfortable, settling in Dance's lap.

Red looked back at them, confused. Dance glared up at him, daring him to say a word about his executive decision. Lust snickered, patting the grass beside them, inviting. Red sat there frozen for a moment, before flipping off his grill and snagging his churros. Then he came obediently over, settling next to them and offering to share his snack.

Lust decided that, everything else aside, this was the best date ever.


	25. Fraternizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance finally admits his feelings to himself, but now he has the problem of admitting them to someone else. Lust is very enthusiastic about being his wingman.
> 
> Also a surprise. Or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not feeling to good this week so this took way longer to write than it should have

Dance had to sit down. He also had to not go off on his own because if he did he was certain he was going to have some kind of episode. His whole body tingled and he felt electrified.

He also absolutely, positively did _not_ want to leave Red alone out here where that... 'woman' (yeah, lets go with that, _that woman_ who had the audacity to put her filthy fleshy paws on a monster who was- was- well, maybe not Dance's, not right now, not really, but certainly not _hers_ either), where _she_ could come back at any time. Dance did _not like that idea at all_.

Dance hugged Lust a little tighter, pulling his hood up and hiding into the back of Lust's shoulder, among the fluffy blue fringe that lined the collar of his vest, letting his boyfriend's warmth sooth him. Dance's world was left in pieces and he was trying very hard not to have some kind of crazy episode.

Red was a _teacher_. He wasn't some dumb brute who only knew how to solve his problems by punching something. He was _smart_ , he was clever, and witty, and apparently very good with kids. Dance didn't have an excuse anymore. He didn't have a single argument left to hide behind. He was irreparably smitten and he _hated it_. This _stupid fucking crush_ had grown and mutated into something bordering obsession. It was unhealthy. He needed it to stop. He needed it to stop because he already had Lust and that was supposed to be _enough, why couldn't he make it stop-?!_

Red sat in the grass with them, sharing his pastries. Lust tried to coax Dance into eating one, but Dance didn't think he could stomach anything at the moment (his insides were doing gymnastics, and while he knew in his head that monsters couldn't actually get sick, the very idea of eating and adding to the chaos that was his magic was nauseating). Dance kept checking Red from the corner of his sockets, taking him in: his clothes fit more with that of a biker or a gang member, but Dance wondered if maybe that was just the best Red could do with his income, if maybe he dressed that way because it was what he had; Red's false tooth shimmered in the sunlight, drawing attention to the sharp edges of his canines, to the power of his jaw, but now Dance had to wonder how much it had hurt to lose his original tooth in the first place, what kind of circumstances would have prevented just healing it back in; he looked at Red's hands, large and powerful and armed with sharp clawed tips, which Red used so delicately when handling the soft, fragile treats he was sharing with them.

 _Was this what Lust had been seeing from the beginning?_ Seeing beyond the rough exterior, beyond the chill of LV, beyond the attitude, to the person underneath?

Dance hated it. He hated being wrong, he hated feeling this way. He hated how his body kept shaking, how he could feel sweat build up and slide down every bone in his body. He hated how it took everything in his power to keep from rattling like the nervous wreck he was. He hated how strong the compulsion to get closer to Red was. He hated how much he wanted to say that Red was his, too.

He hated that he couldn't even make himself start the conversation, left to sulk in his own shame and self loathing and self pity.

Lust, meanwhile, was thankfully happy as a clam, snuggling comfortably into Dance's lap as he spoke amiably with Red. Red answered curtly, for the most part, but he didn't try to dodge any of Lust's questions. Dance learned so much just listening. Red was the standard and AP science teacher, and had been working at the high school since monsters first reached the surface four years ago, using his doctorate as a substitute for a teaching license at first while he took the online courses to get officially certified (the hastily drawn up laws at the time had made it so monster certifications would be accepted for job applications, so long as the monsters were taking the classes for human-standard certification, and _oh god, that meant the crack about the doctorate in quantum fucking physics wasn't even a joke, he had a goddamn PhD, he was **Dr** Red Serif, and the only reason he wasn't a **professor** was because he was teaching at a public high school, holy fuck-!_ ). Red had caught a lucky break, since the old science teacher had had some kind of accident or family emergency and needed to leave the district mid-year, leaving the position abruptly vacant. The downside had been that after taking the job, bureaucratic nonsense had made it impossible for Red to get the job he'd actually wanted, the one teaching younger children.

 _Red wanted to be a grade school or a kindergarten teacher._ He wanted to spend the rest of his life teaching children the joys of science. Dance felt his SOUL skip. He kicked himself inwardly, berating himself for getting all flustered over hearing something so mundane and unimportant and _should one-hundred percent not be a turn-on at all_. It didn't help that Lust started to squirm excitedly in his lap, the heat in his body rising noticeably, radiating the same visceral energy Dance had surging through his own marrow.

Dance was suddenly craving a certain bulbous fruit.

Lust crooked his finger, a silent request or Red to pull closer. Red looked to Dance as if for permission, as if making sure Dance was alright with it (and _god damn it_ , thats probably exactly what he was doing, the asshole, being so _considerate_ like it wasn't bad enough he was smart and talented and powerful, no, he had to be _thoughtful_ too). Dance ground his teeth, loosening his grip on Lust just a little, nodding. Red (ever so obligingly) scooted closer, leaning toward them. Lust snagged ahold of Red's collar, pulling him the rest of the way, until the two of them were kissing. Red let out a low rumbling noise, pleased, and returned the affectionate gesture, one of his claws coming up to tug gently at Lust's collar. Dance had a front row seat to see the subtle changes in Red's expression, the way his eyelight fuzzed around the edges, how his sockets crinkled with his smile, how the tension in his shoulders eased. Dance felt Lust relax against him, melting as he started to purr.

Red's collar spiked and cracked with cold LV-charged magic (which Dance certainly didn't flinch at, no, of course not, he was just shifting his weight, quickly and in the opposite direction). Lust's collar sparked with a similar charge, a similar chill, but somehow the intent was adjusted to be defensive, protective, lacking any aggression as the aftershocks buffeted against Dance's cheek.

For a moment, all of Dance's nervousness, all of his bitterness, was washed away under a swollen tide of contentment, curled around Lust's warmth, pressed in comfortably by Red's presence. For just a single, blessed moment, he could taste the way his recusant SOUL insisted things were meant to be.

Then that moment ended. Red pulled away, smirking smugly down at Lust before standing up and returning to his spot at the hotdog stand, just in time for a group of kids just coming around the corner.

Lust leaned back further into Dance's chest, licking his teeth promiscuously before turning in Dance's arms and tentatively, meekly, probing for a kiss. Dance took the offer hungrily, sighing with relief at the taste, watermelon mixed with the tangy taste of home. _Lust always knew how to make him feel better._

Dance made sure to break the kiss before the kids got close enough to really see them. Lust pouted for a moment, a dissatisfied expression crossing his face before being masked by a contented serenity. Dance couldn't help being amused; Lust never asked for much, but he was easy enough to read if you looked closely enough, and he always wanted attention, affection. Dance took his boyfriend's hand in his own, squeezing gently, using his other hand to pull Lust flush to his chest.

Lust relaxed against him, turning his attention to watch Red work as the children gathered around his stall. Dance too was drawn to the sight.

Red didn't say a single curse word in front of them. He kept his tone light but still full of authority. He passed out helpings of hotdogs (or sometimes hotcats, _damn_ , Dance didn't realize anyone else knew that trick, cooking it just right to get them to meow) using his BLUE magic (which was ironically colored that iconic crimson). He knew every single one of them by name (or by a nickname especially for them). When adding condiments to the 'dogs, he'd praise anyone who got mustard and ribbed anyone who didn't playfully, _playfully_. The kids _laughed_. Then he'd just say, "welp, more fer me," and drink from his personal bottle, which got more laughter and 'ew' noises.

They loved him. Dance could see it, feel it in the air, like magic but so much more fundamental.

He could also see some of them giving him and Lust the stink eye.

"What are _they_ doing here??" One girl hissed, bristling angrily upon catching sight of Dance and Lust. It brought the attention of the rest of the crowd, who almost in unison went silent.

Red looked over at them. "eh? oh, thats just lust 'n dance. they're on a date. stopped by t' visit," he explained with such blase execution, Dance could hardly believe it was the same monster who just a few months back had threatened him with violence for just standing in Lust's apartment.

"You dumped him?" Another piped up.

"wut?? nah, lust's still my pet. but since i'm workin' right now, he's havin' a time with his pet, dance." Red walked through it patiently.

"P.E.T?" One boy piped up. He leaned around another kid, squinting at Dance and Lust for a moment before relaxing. "Oh! So ones your PET and one's your boyfriend!!"

Red turned a rather brilliant shade of scarlet, glowing even in the sunlight. Dance felt his own cheeks burn with embarrassment, although he was starting to think he'd missed something. In his arms, Lust started shaking, before laughter bubbled up and broke free.

"no! it ain't like that!" Red insisted, losing some of his composure.

"What's it like then??" One of the girls asked, tone teasing.

Red scowled. "my personal life aint yer business, brat, but if ya must know, lust's my pet, 'n dance is his pet. dance 'n i ain't got no direct relationship. 's..." Red's voice trailed off a moment, before he shook his head. "'s complicated."

Dance ground his teeth. _'Complicated.' 'No direct relationship.'_ He supposed that was better than 'we hate each other', but not by much. Neutral wasn't automatically good.

The kids looked between Red and Dance and Lust, before deciding that 'complicated' was enough of an answer, and began to disperse. A few of the boys stayed and tried to get Red to tell them about the facts of life, but Red cut that off by implying there would be an essay required if he told them any more. _He really did handle them well_.

Red put a few more hotdogs on his grill, then looked back at him and Lust, impassive and unreadable. Lust crooked his finger again, coaxing, and Red again looked to Dance for _permission_. And again, Dance gave it, because he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

He couldn't lie and say that having them both wasn't what he wanted.

That was basically the cycle for the rest of the day: Dance and Lust had a little picnic in the grass near Red's station, and Red went back and forth between grilling hotdogs for the kids and sitting close enough for Lust to snuggle against him without leaving Dance's lap. Slowly the number of children who gave Dance and Lust the stink eye diminished to nothing, replaced with hopeful, appreciative, happy smiles (and a few sly ones, which made Dance somewhat uncomfortable).

Eventually, the park event came to a close. Red packed up his stuff quickly enough, unplugging his grill to let it cool while he helped the marching band and orchestra pack their instruments into a big moving truck. The kids (human and monster) both kept asking him to 'do the thing', and Red grouched and growled about it until he seemingly gave up... then he snapped his fingers, and encased all the instruments in BLUE magic, the harsh crimson glow of his magic humming around all the bigger instruments. The children whooped in delight, and began moving them more in earnest, taking advantage of the items' decreased gravity to move them with less effort.

Red was sweating by the end of it, but the kids were happy, and there was a softness to his usual confident smirk that had inexplicably caused a miscommunication between Dance's SOUL and his body, decreasing his agility and making his legs weak.

Lust made a soft whining noise, pressing closer to Dance's side as they watched.

Dance's gaze was drawn by the other supervisors in the area, specifically that one woman from before, as well as what he had to assume were a couple of parent volunteers.

The woman from before was thankfully ( _for her sake_ ) smart enough to keep herself at arms length, but Dance caught a few of the parents getting close. One woman, all curves and legs and long blond hair, cupped Red's face with both of her slender hands, leaning in close. Dance couldn't hear what was said from that distance, but Red's expression of utter confusion never wavered. Instead, he gesticulated, pointing off towards a group of the kids loading in the smaller instruments. The woman looked taken aback, and while she was stunned Red ended the conversation and moved on to performing another task.

Dance was simultaneously grateful, disheartened, and viscerally frustrated: one the one had, Red clearly had a difficult time seeing when someone was trying to flirt with him; on the other hand, _Red clearly had a difficult time seeing when someone was trying to flirt with him_. It meant Dance had _no idea_ how he was supposed to make his intentions clear to Red.

Dance settled for giving that soccer mom a warning glare in the meantime.

When the last instrument was packed up, Red smacked the side of the truck a few times before herding the kids away so the truck could drive off. Then he came and picked up his grill. "so... uh... guess i'll see ya later, sweetheart? after yer dates over 'n shit?"

Lust looked up at Dance. Dance snorted. "dates over. ready to go back and relax."

"me too~" Lust agreed. "actually, i dunno about you, but my feet are a bit sore. i've walked more today than i've done in a while."

Red shifted the hold on his grill to something one-handed, offered his now free hand to Lust. "allow me? i know a shortcut," he joked, winking.

Lust took his hand, threading his slender phalanges through Red's sharp claws (and Dance watched, remembering how compliant, how gentle, how protective, Red's hand had been in his own). "nope~ you're even more tired than we are. let me drive, please?" Lust's eyelights pulsed hopefully, looking up at Red as if he were asking for a favor.

Red paused, before letting out a small huff. "a'aight, whatever ya want sweetheart."

Lust kept his other arm linked with Dance's, and led the three of them off to a deserted, private area before taking them through a shortcut back to his apartment.

Red immediately pulled away, ducking into the bedroom to stuff his grill back into his dimension box. During the brief time they were alone, Lust turned and nuzzled into Dance. "don't worry, baby. i have an idea."

Dance hugged him tight, pulling them both onto the couch together. _At least somebody did_. But would it matter?

Dance could only hope.

* * *

It was two weeks before Dance heard anything more about Lust's plan. That was a whole month of Dance dodging his brother's questions about meeting Red. He bent the truth, saying Red was still getting settled in his new apartment, that Red was busy job hunting, that Red just couldn't make it. He didn't want to outright lie to his brother, but he also didn't want to get into the whole, _'i'm pretty sure he hates me right now so asking him to meet my bro is out of the question, but i'm working on maybe scoring a date with him, but i'm such a nervous wreck i need my current boyfriend (whom you also haven't met yet by the way even though we've been together for like 4 months now) to wingman and its a slow painful process ok shut up,'_ thing.

It sounded awful and stupid just in his head, he didn't think he would survive saying it out loud.

Another saturday rolled around, and Dance was irritable and emotionally drained. Red never let himself be left alone in the same room as him anymore. Even when Lust just got up to fetch a snack, Red would make some excuse to get up and leave. He hadn't had a single chance to try again at talking to him. Not that Dance would have been able to get anywhere, mind, since (as mentioned previously) he was a sweaty nervous wreck now that he didn't have anything to buffer himself with emotionally from his attraction. It was just like with Lust all over again, only whenever he naturally defaulted to puns, it just made Red irritated and drove him away more.

Dance was at his wits end.

Another saturday rolled around, and Dance had largely given up what little hope he'd ever had of things between him and Red changing. He slumped into the couch, on his side, and waited for the other two to come out of the bedroom.

When they did, Red had a roll of paper clutched delicately in one hand, and Lust was grinning. "okay, sweetie, remember, you be safe, and thank you _so much_ for doing this for me!"

Red's face dusted a faint pink. "anythin' ya want, sweetheart. i'll get 'xactly what th' list says."

Lust spun back around to give Red another grateful kiss, before skipping back to slide into his boots by the door. "ok. and while you're out, dance and i are going to run another errand!"

"we are?" Dance asked.

"yup~" Lust cooed. "i have it all planned out," he assured them, with a wink in Dance's direction. "we can get it all done in a few hours, then have the rest of the day to ourselves!"

"see ya then, sweetheart," Red rumbled, warm and affectionate (and utterly painful to hear, not that Dance let himself show it). Red gave Dance another one of his inscrutable looks, before disappearing through a shortcut.

Lust sighed with obvious relief. "ok, thats step one. now for step two." He turned to Dance, offering his hand. "we can't be late to our meeting, so..."

"meeting?" Dance asked, still feeling lost as he took Lust's hand, lost and out of control and anxious.

Lust squeezed his hand reassuringly. "yup. i'll be honest, i couldn't figure out what to do, even with the manual, so..." He smirked. "we're gonna go get some advise from an expert in all things red."

Dance took a deep breath, squeezing tighter, pulling Lust closer. Lust must have been able to tell just how close Dance was to his limit, making a soft noise of sympathy as he wrapped his arms around him, sharing his warmth. Dance clung tighter, hiding his face in Lust's shoulder as he tried to calm down. Dance didn't understand it, but just standing there, holding his boyfriend seemed to allow him to drown out his negativity with pure, unadulterated _affection_ , _sympathy_ and _love_ and _patience_ and _understanding_ and-

Wait. _Sympathy?_ Why was he suddenly feeling sympathetic? Lust was doing just fine..? His usual fever was even down more than usual. That was odd...

"feeling better?" Lust asked, voice tinged with concern.

"yeah, actually," Dance admitted, pulling back. _Something was off,_ but it was gone now, and Dance didn't have the emotional bandwidth to care about such an insignificant blip in his day.

"good," Lust purred. "now, whatever you do, don't be nervous."

"saying thats only going to make me more nervous," Dance observed out loud. Lust chuckled at his sass, before pulling them through a shortcut and out of a back alleyway. Lust led them down the street until they came to a stop in front of a coffee shop. Dance reached around and opened the door for his boyfriend, who gave him a bright, affectionate smile (and a kiss) before slipping inside.

When Dance followed after him, he almost wished he hadn't come, because there, sitting unassumingly in a corner booth, like a predator awaiting unsuspecting prey to come just that little bit closer, was Boss. Dance grabbed Lust's arm a little rougher than he might have intended (not that Lust probably minded, but that was beside the point), pulling him up short and back towards the door. "lets just, uh, get that pick-me-up elsewhere."

Lust looked back at him with a raised bone brow. "dance, sweetie, just breath, ok? i know you're nervous around him, but boss is our best chance."

"you say 'our' like this is going to affect you too," Dance grumbled.

"because it is," Lust agreed, tugging Dance gently forward. "and you have no idea how hard i'm rooting for you, baby. no idea at all."

Dance took a deep breath, then quickly got between Lust and Boss, moving toward the booth with resolution. Lust followed behind him, smiling, all encouragement and pride.

Boss sat, completely unassuming and without a hint of the power Dance knew he was hiding, a cup of something coffee-based in one hand (it looked like one of those snobbish blended coffee drinks), and his phone in the other. He was wearing a sleeveless knitted black sweater, the bottom tucked into the waistline of his equally black jeans, held snug to his hips by a bright red wrestler belt with a skull buckle. His tattered red scarf sat regally around his neck, the end draped over one shoulder. As he sipped idly at the drink, he kept his eyelights fixed on the screen, the tip of his bright-red-gloved thumb tapping away as he texted one-handed. The smug grin playing at his teeth was familiar, the same kind of smile Red wore whenever he looked at Lust. He didn't even look up until Dance and Lust were both seated comfortably across from him.

"YOU ARE LATE," Boss said, voice neutral, his expression shifting from fondness to the neutrality of his resting bitch face as he shifted his gaze from the screen to look at the two of them.

"fashionably," Lust agreed. "thanks for waiting."

"YOU WISHED TO SPEAK TO ME IN A NEUTRAL LOCATION. SO I TAKE IT THIS IS A SECRET FROM MY FOOL BROTHER," Boss continued.

"a surprise," Lust hummed. "or so we hope. see, we've run into a bit of a... a problem."

"AND WHAT, PRAY TELL WOULD THAT BE?" Boss asked, his voice hardening, poster tensing. Dance squeezed Lust's hand tighter under the table, hackles raised even as he was frozen in place by sheer terror, pinned like a fly under those piercing, cold red eyelights.

"well," Lust looked at Dance, smiling sadly, before returning his gaze back to Boss (completely unaffected by the other, larger monster's behavior or tone, fearless and unstoppable and elegant). "a certain someone wants to... express themselves to red. and this someone, they, uh, they can't seem to get the message across that they genuinely really like him-"

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING ME FOR DATING ADVISE FOR HOW TO WOO MY BROTHER, AFTER YOU HAVE WOKEN ME UP OUT OF A DEAD SLEEP WHILE FUCKING HIM?" Boss deadpanned.

Dance felt all the magic in his body swell to his face. Lust didn't look much better, his maxilla and nasal ridge suddenly glowing a vivid purple. "what?!?!"

"YOU KEEP GRABBING HIS COLLAR," Boss explained (like that made any sense), pointing to his own neck as an illustration. "THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS WORLD I DON'T FUCKING NEED TO KNOW, AND THE FREQUENCY AND INTENSITY OF MY ELDER BROTHER'S FORNICATION HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF THEM."

Lust smiled sheepishly. "thats unfortunate for you, but yes, i have a friend who is also trying to woo red, and-"

"IS IT THE MECHANIC??" Boss interrupted again, leaning forward over the table.

Dance didn't think his face could glow any brighter. He was wrong. It could. He could see the reflection of the blue light in the shine of Boss' coffee cup now. He pulled his hood up, trying to at least hide a from the evidence of his own shame.

"I SEE." Boss leaned back again, the tension in his posture finally easing. "HAVE YOU TRIED JUST ASKING TO BE COLLARED??"

"why would i ask that?" Dance questioned, hating how his voice was pitched upward from embarrassment.

"...YOUR IGNORANCE ASTOUNDS ME." Sighing, Boss took another sip of his cup. "DO EITHER OF YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF THAT TRADITION??"

"i think i do, a little," Lust admitted, tugging on his own collar.

"don't see the big deal," Dance grumbled, even as he reflexively reached out, hooking two of his own phalanges over the leather at Lust's throat, letting the magic there coil pleasantly around his fingertips. The soothing sensation on top of Lust's warmth helped to calm him down more.

Boss watched with surprise, utter victory sparkling excitedly in his sockets. "OF COURSE YOU DON'T. BUT YOU SHOULD. THAT COLLAR IS A PROMISE, A VOW TO PROTECT AND CHERISH. ANYONE WHO DARES TO TOUCH A MONSTER WEARING SUCH A COLLAR BRINGS UPON THEM THE WRATH OF THE MONSTER WHO GAVE IT. IT MEANS LOYALTY. IT IS THE SUREST DISPLAY OF ANY BOND."

 _'So what you're saying is, I gotta get that tacky accessory off of Red and give him a new one,'_ Dance thought to himself.

"are you sure that asking for that will be enough? dance has already tried the food giving thing," Lust queried, uncertain.

"QUITE CERTAIN. ALTHOUGH," Boss paused, eyeing Dance critically, "IF YOU ARE TRULY OPPOSED TO GOING THAT FAR, YOU COULD TRY A MORE NEW-AGE DATING METHOD."

"new age dating method?" Lust asked, raising a curious bone brow.

"INDEED!! IT IS GENIUS IN ITS SIMPLICITY!!" Boss insisted.

"i like simple," Dance admitted.

"OF COURSE YOU DO," Boss huffed. "JUST TELL HIM YOU ARE DATEMATES, AND THAT WILL SETTLE THE MATTER."

"what??" Dance gapped at him.

"YES!! IT WORKS LIKE A CHARM!! EVERY TIME!!" Boss insisted, looking proud of himself. "I KNOW!! BECAUSE!! IT WORKED FOR ME!! NYAH HAH HAH!!!"

Lust shook at Dance's side, covering his teeth, trying to swallow a choked off wheezing noise that came out as a strangled hiss. Dance groaned softly, hiding his face in his boyfriends shaking shoulder.

There was no way this was going to end well.

* * *

If it had been (nearly) anyone else asking him to do this, he'd never even consider it. But it was Lust, it was his pet, and Red would do damn near anything for him.

So thats why Red was standing there, in the middle of the high end shopping mall, carrying bags from three different stores already, triple checking a grocery list that literally unfurled all the way to the floor (even when he held it over his head, _god damn_ ), making sure he was getting the exact brand of hand soap that Lust apparently liked. He'd been getting weird looks from humans and monsters alike, not the least of which because one of his stops had been to a lingerie store that mostly catered to females and had bought a pair of scandalous black lacy stockings (whatever Lust wanted).

He finally found the soap, but he still had to stand in line for his turn to pay. Surrounded by floral scented bath bombs (a few of which he picked up, since they were marked as containing healing magic) and the inexplicably pink and sparkly decor, he knew he looked utterly ridiculous. It was more difficult than Red expected to ignore the stares from the skinny human girls and the skittish whimsums. _What the fuck is wrong with a guy running an errand for his datemate?!_ He might have slammed the money on the counter a little harder than he needed to.

He should have felt bad for scaring the poor cashier, but all he could bring himself to do was growl out a curt thanks and get the hell out of there.

Red had to give himself a break. He looked for a store where he wouldn't stand out quite so much, a place where he could blend in for a bit and decompress (he'd just stay in the waiting areas with those comfortable looking couches in the wide halls, or the food court, but both places were full of other people and Red just couldn't handle any more people). He scanned the walls, looking for a sign (literally and metaphorically).

He had just rounded the corner when he finally saw it; a window display, a bust of a cat monster head showing a few accessories. His gaze was immediately drawn to the sapphire-blue velvet and silver collar, complete with a shiny silver bell. It was soft, and flexible, and-

_And it was fucking perfect._

Red knew he shouldn't do it. He knew it was a bad idea. He was just torturing himself (and his wallet). But he couldn't make himself walk away. He slipped into the store, and a few minutes later he was walking out with a black velvet box secure in his coat pocket.

Feeling a bit more up to completing his task, Red headed up the escalator, his next destination a store for incense. He slipped into the store carefully, aware of his many bags (he would have just shortcut home between stores, but his shopping list was _so goddamn long_ and he still needed to hit a few other stores that weren't even connected to the mall, stores on the clear other side of town -- he needed to conserve his energy). He checked his list again, before shuffling over and picking out the smell sticks, gingerly pulling the boxes from the display. He had no idea what to even do with these things, but if his sweetheart wanted them, it was fine.

A few more stops: a store for card games, another store for towels and bedsheets, some curtains (he wanted them in red and blue), a package of oversized t-shirts (for those blessed lazy afternoons where Lust curled up in his lap to nap and Red enjoyed an ebook on his phone), and he was finally done with the mall. He still had to stop by the supermarket, get the food, but he was _done with the mall_ , fuck yes!! Red was practically humming as he headed for the exit.

Then a loud, insistent voice screeched, "YOU!!!"

Red didn't think much of it, figured it wasn't even his business. He was allowed to keep thinking that until a he nearly ran right into a monster that stepped in his way. "hey! i'm walkin' here!" Red snapped, his good mood reduced once more to irritation. _Why the fuck couldn't people just leave him alone?!_

"YES!! I CAN SEE THAT!! AND NOW YOU ARE STANDING HERE TALKING TO ME. WHICH I CAN ALSO SEE!!!" The skeleton monster said, slender arms crossed as he scrutinized Red. He was wearing an airy dress shirt, the collar turned down and flaring around his neck, his long black dress pants held to his slender hips by a red sash. His face reminded Red of Boss, sort of. Maybe more like Stretch. But there was something smoother, cleaner, about it, and the illiberal gleam in his sockets just didn't sit right in Red's opinion. "MY QUESTION IS WHY HAVE YOU BEEN AVOIDING ME."

"i don't even fuckin' know ya," Red growled. "now back th' fuck off, i got shit t' do t'day."

The other skeleton looked Red up and down. "FROM THE VIDEO, I EXPECTED YOU TO BE A WORK IN PROGRESS. AND I WAS RIGHT! AS USUAL!! WHAT A FOUL MOUTH YOU HAVE!!"

Red tried to just walk around him, hackles raised and jaw clenched tight. _Fucking judgmental prick needed to leave him the hell alone._

The other monster stepped again in front of him. "THAT IS NOT POLITE YOU KNOW!! NEITHER THE NAUGHTY WORDS NOR THE IGNORING ME!! I WOULD THINK YOU WOULD AT LEAST TRY TO BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR, AND SURELY THIS IS NOT YOUR BEST!! I AM CERTAIN YOU CAN DO BETTER!! YOU WOULD HAVE HAD TO TO GET MY BROTHER TO LOOK AT YOU TWICE, AFTER ALL."

"what th' fuck's yer problem?!" Red snapped, losing a bit of his self control. He took a step forward, getting into this guy's personal space and flaring his magic around him. "leave me th' hell alone!! i'm fuckin' busy!! i got more import'nt shit t' do 'n waste my time listenin' t' some priggish lil bitch talk shit t' me!! that position's fuckin' taken anyway, 'n believe you me, yer skinny peppy ass don't hold a candle t' him, so **back off**."

The other monster flinched back fists clenched at his side, but he did not move. "I SEE." He looked Red up and down again. "YES. SUCH A SHAME. I KNOW MY BROTHER IS VERY ATTACHED TO YOU, BUT THIS JUST WILL NOT DO AT ALL. SUCH ANGER AND VIOLENCE WOULD NEVER BE GOOD FOR HIM. IF THIS IS HOW YOU BEHAVE AROUND SANS, THEN I WILL HAVE TO ASK THAT YOU END THE RELATIONSHIP. FOR HIS SAKE."

Red's mind raced. _This guy thought he was dating his brother?? He called his brother 'Sans'???_ Red knew, if his theory was correct, that there were at least two other monsters who fit that description (this clearly wasn't Slim or Stretch he was dealing with). Red never did get a chance to meet Lust's little brother...

"ai'aight, ya lil pissant, listen 'n listen good." Red grabbed the monster in BLUE magic, yanking him down face first to the floor. "i dunno who th' fuck ya think ya are, but nobody, 'n i mean fuckin' _nobody_ , 's gettin' 'n th' way o' me 'n my pet." Red could see the spark of alarm, of genuine nervousness in the other monster's eyelights as he looked up at Red. _Good._ "i do whatever th' fuck _he_ wants, 'n if _he_ tells me t' leave, sure, i'll be gone that fuckin' day 'n he won't hear a peep out o' me 'bout it. but s'long as he wants me 'round, i ain't goin' fuckin' _nowhere_ , capiche?!"

Red sat his bags down, takin special care to disentangle them from his claws and arms as he put them neatly on the ground one by one. "let's review: _my datemate get what he wants_ , 'n nobody, not my bro, not you, not th' motherfuckin' king of all motherfuckin' monsters, gets any say in th' matter. only _he_ gets t' say when its over."

With his important cargo now safely placed out of the way, Red reached down and gripped this _overgrown moralistic asshole_ by the scruff of his shirt, lifting him back up to eye level (although thanks to his height, he was still trailing comically to the ground, much like the grocery list held daintily in Red's other hand). Red sneered at him, perpetual grin as menacing and authoritative as he could manage. "'n th' only reason i ain't rippin' ya t' fuckin' pieces right now's cuz, unlike _you_ , i give a damn about how _he_ feels, 'n i'd never come between him 'n some'ne _he_ wanted t' be with."

Red held the other monster's gaze, unrelenting. There were things Red was willing to compromise about. He wasn't an unreasonable guy, deep down. But this, the happiness of _his pets_ , was non-mc-fucking-negotiable. Red held that gaze for a good long moment, making sure the idea really sunk in, then let go of both his body and his SOUL. He turned right around and again started re-arranging the bags, loading himself up again with his cargo. He could feel the pervasive silence in the air, smell the fear from the nearby crowd. He wasn't unaware that the immediate area was suddenly rather empty, or that there were a few mall security guards edging towards them. "now, if ya don't mind, i got errands t' run, food t' buy, 'n dinner t' cook."

Red was just reaching for the next armload of bags when he saw them snatched away. Red turned, ready to give chase to the thief, when he realized it was the other monster. "YOU ARE VERY UNCIVILIZED-"

"fuck you-"

"BUT," The taller skeleton emphasized, pausing only long enough to make sure Red wouldn't interrupt again, "THERE IS QUITE A LOT OF ENTHUSIASM AND PROTECTIVENESS FOR MY BROTHER INSIDE OF YOU TOO. I THINK... I ALSO WANT ONLY THE BEST FOR HIM, SO MAYBE... WE CAN WORK TOGETHER TO ACHIEVE THAT?"

Red looked at where the other monster was carrying half of his shopping bags. He looked down at the bags in his own arms, and at the grocery list. _He didn't have time to argue. He had to finish shopping. He had to get the groceries and get back home and start cooking. Lust said the meal he wanted to try tonight was Dance's favorite..._

"whatever," Red rumbled. "what ya have 'n mind?"

"WELL, YOU SAID YOU ARE COOKING DINNER TONIGHT?? I HAVE BEEN ATTEMPTING TO HAVE A SIT DOWN DINNER WITH THE THREE OF US, SO I CAN SEE FOR MYSELF WHY MY BROTHER IS SO SMITTEN WITH YOU. I MIGHT BE SEEING SOME OF THAT NOW, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT A BIT MORE??"

Red rolled his eyelight. "i don't think he'd mind havin' his bro over fer dinner. always says ya never hang out enough... but i gotta move 'r i an't gonna get all this shit in time."

"WE CAN TAKE MY CAR!!"

"nah. i know a shortcut."

"OF COURSE YOU DO. OF COURSE HE WOULD TEACH YOU THOSE. I AM PAPYRUS, BY THE WAY. THE GREAT PAPYRUS. BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME SUAVE NOW BECAUSE I AM ALSO THAT TOO."

Red snorted, exiting the mall with his surprise companion at his side. "sure they do, lipstick. 'n i'm red."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this changes the whole ending. why. i had a dramatic ending planned where suave was a dick but i just- he isn't. he's super worried about his big brother but he is still a papyrus and he still believes everyone can do better even if he's a bit of a snob about it and gdi i dont know where this is heading anymore the train is of the rails now folks we're off roading!!


	26. Food for Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of food-related thoughts as a special dinner is prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be the chapter where suave made his true debut, but it was getting long so i'm splitting the chapter apart
> 
> ya'll are gonna love what come after this tho because hot fucking shit i did not see this coming AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> (also dirty jokes ahoy)

Red dropped off the shopping bags at Lust's apartment, Suave in tow, then headed off to finish the rest of the shopping. He didn't really mind having his pet's brother tag along, but it certainly didn't help with his speed. Or his slowly growing headache. Especially when Suave insisted on stopping _every three-goddamn-feet_ to chat with someone. Eventually Red just started leaving him where he was, grabbing anything in the general vicinity that he needed, and coming back to pull the social butterfly into the next area.

Suave got distracted with some human lady handing out free cheese samples next to the fruits and vegetables. Red quickly maneuvered his cart around the area (ignoring the startled or amused looks from the other patrons -- _just because he had LV and wore leather doesn't mean he can live off the ambient misery of others, goddamn it, he needs food too!!_ ). Red picked up a few apples, tossing a bag of the red ones into the cart (fuck the green ones, they were sour anyway), when a display of watermelon caught his eye.

Red had noticed Dance had been eating watermelon lately (no idea why, they didn't look all that appetizing). Lust was rather fond of them as well, keeping one or two in the fridge even when nothing else seems to stay in stock, and that's saying something when, honestly, Lust didn't keep his kitchen as well as he should (even Red had kept some snack food squirreled away in his shitty apartment, but Lust's always looked like fucking whoville on christmas eve after the Grinch had come to town). Red had been planning on restocking the kitchen once his paycheck started coming back in (his meager savings certainly not up for that kind of regular beating), but with Lust fitting the bill for this trip, Red planned to make sure he got the best of everything at the lowest price possible. It also meant he wanted to find a way to sate his pets' craving.

Picking one of the watermelons up, Red examined it, rapping his knuckles against the gaudy green rind ( _fuck_ he hated that color, green was dumb, _maybe he should try to ween the guys onto that nice beige looking melon over there? was that petty? that was probably petty, he should get them what they like, its not like he'll be eating it_ ), deciding he didn't like the sound of this one in particular (not juicy enough, no hollow ring like that website said to look for, _why the fuck was fruit so complicated?!_ ) and needed to try another one. He must have gone through three or four before he found one he thought would work (a dull green rind with crisscrossed brown stitch patterns, signs that a bunch of bees had already judged the fruit to be good) and stuffed it into the cart.

Suave was still going on about the pros and cons of cheese, so Red kept moving down the line, grabbing some onions here, some carrots there, some cucumbers ( _again with the green, fuck green, stupid color_ ), and a bag of tiny oranges ( _clementines? whatever, its all citrus_ ) for a healthy snack. He also stopped to get a number of tomatoes, plenty of tomatoes. They weren't on the list, but they were an essential.

Red then swung back around, avoiding a particularly unsavory looking elderly man who was giving him the stink eye from the salad bar. He waved his hand for Suave to follow as he made a turn down the coffee isle, instinctively snagging a can of the cheapest, blackest instant coffee grounds before remembering he had had to pawn his machine off a few months back and Lust didn't have his own. He put the can back and moved on without a word, ignoring the look Suave gave him.

Red again consulted his Hilariously Long List, before scanning the store again and making a game plan in his head for his next steps. First he started with the bread (and he made sure to get a lot of it). He stopped in the spices section, picking out mustard powder, tumeric, pepper, paprika, garlic, thyme, salt, brown sugar, corn syrup, and a number of other things. He swung into another isle and grabbed different kinds of broth, as well as pasta (although certainly not as much as Suave seemed to think was prudent, given how he kept suggesting 'ONE MORE'). He snagged the four different kinds of cereal on the list, and one more for good measure. Lastly, he ducked into the dairy isle and got butter, milk, and plenty of eggs.

Check Out was a nightmare.

Red made another trip back to the apartment, putting all the food away, then had to go out _again_ to get the last of the list from various specialty shops around the city. There were special watermelon cucumber scented candles from one store, a few coconuts from another, watermelon-flavored lube (and the look on Suave's face when he realized what kind of store they needed to go into for that was priceless!! HAH!!), a coathanger (but it had to be from this one very specific carpenter who made them with imported redwood, and it took twenty minutes just to find the guy's store in some inconspicuous little corner, hidden behind a taco truck), a specially-ordered fabric softener with watermelon scent ( _what the fuck was with all the watermelon stuff?!_ was there something Red was missing??), comically large curly straws, and a wind chime made from bioluminescent crystal.

When it was finally over, Red came right back to the apartment, put everything away, then gave himself a moment to crash on the couch.

Suave looked around the apartment, working slowly around the room. "I DO NOT SEE ANY PICTURES ON THE WALL... YOU REALLY DID JUST MOVE IN."

Red snickered. "yeah, well, don't got much t' hang up. boss has most o' th' pictures." And what few pictures Red did have were silly, sentimental things that he didn't want to bother hanging up, not when he could be evicted at any time, not in his boyfriend's apartment.

Suave hummed noncommittally, before heading for the kitchen again. Red groaned as he stood back up, shucking off his coat and hanging it on the new coat hanger. He almost left it at that, but then dug into his coat pocket and pulled out that velvet box, stuffing it into the pocket of his shorts (keeping it close, so he could fill it with intent, even if it was never going to be used). Only then did he head for the kitchen himself, rolling his shoulders and stretching. He had to start on dinner anyway, but after the day he'd had so far, all he really wanted to do was curl up on the couch with his sweetheart and nap.

But Red would do anything for his pet. So he rolled up his metaphorical sleeves and started cooking, ignoring the scrutinizing stare of his houseguest.

* * *

Lust and Dance sat with Boss a little longer, before bidding him farewell and heading out to finish their errand. He had had it all planned out (sort of). Lust had hoped there would be some secret gesture that the handbook had neglected to mention, something that would prove that Dance's attempts were from a place of genuine caring. No such luck, of course (he should have figured as much, but he had still hoped), but that just meant Dance would have to find his own way of expressing himself.

And that was the issue, wasn't it? Dance couldn't express himself. Words didn't come so easily to him when they weren't sharpened by spite. Boss' suggestion to just 'tell Red' that they were dating sounded like it might actually have a chance to work, or at least more of one than any other plan Lust could think of. Gifts and spite were the only weapons Dance had in this.

And Lust had already tried and failed to persuade Red to make the first move. Red was (adorably) terrified of hurting or scaring Dance. He refused to initiate anything. Which, in Lust's personal opinion, was a shame, because Red was so affectionate and thoughtful, and he seemed to thrive in an environment where he could show how much he cared. _Lust certainly thrived when Red showed him how much he cared._ He'd never felt better since Red moved in. And Lust was certain, if Red would stop holding himself back, then it would all fall into place. But he refused, and that, in its own way, Lust knew, was a form of Red caring too, and he l- he _adored_ him for it.

But watching these two circle each other was _torture._

Lust gave his boyfriend's hand a sympathetic squeeze. "its alright, baby... i'm sure we'll figure something out."

Dance squeezed back, head hung down, eyelights half-focused on the middle distance.

"dance..?"

Dance looked up. "uh, yeah. sure."

Lust almost asked, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the way Dance avoided his gaze, but at the same time shifted closer, seeking comfort that Lust was more than happy to provide. Maybe it was the strain in his smile, the tension in his shoulders even as the rest of him remained fluid and flexible (and _no, stop it, don't think about that right now, there was a time and a place for everything and this was definitely not it_ ). Maybe it was because they were still outside, in public, and he knew Dance would never be comfortable baring himself in such an open place.

Regardless, Lust kept his gestures non-verbal, nuzzling into Dance's shoulder and keeping close. Dance let go of his hand for a split second, only to sling his arm around Lust's neck and hook two fingers around Lust's collar (a gesture Dance had been doing more and more lately, not that Lust minded -- the blended feeling of Red's magic surging through the leather along with Dance's proximity to his throat was reassuring in a way Lust couldn't quantify). Lust couldn't help the contented sigh that escaped him as he sagged into Dance's side, slowing and narrowing his gait to prolong this comfortable, easy stroll to their next destination.

"where are we even going..?" Dance finally asked, coming out of his inner thoughts enough to realize they were still walking.

Lust smiled. "well, gift giving is a big thing with red and boss, so i figured, maybe getting red a gift would help?" Lust would admit (to himself at least) that had always wanted to just wander around thrift stores and bargain bins with a datemate, looking for that perfect little treasure hidden in the chaos. He did want to help Dance and Red build that metaphorical bridge too, but it wasn't selfish to want to enjoy the process, was it? 

Was it..?

Lust felt that gentle tug as Dance curled his fingers tighter around his collar. "thats... a good idea... yeah. but what do i even get him??"

"i dunno," Lust admitted, gripping his datemate's wrist gently, holding him there against his clavicle. "but maybe if we look around, you'll see something?"

"better than nothing," Dance admitted.

Lust continued leading the way, heading for the little corner of the city where the mom-and-pop shops were set up. He knew where he wanted to start first: Bob and Tim's Depot. Plenty of small vendors from around the city sent their excess supply there to be sold at a reduced price, so while it was usually more common items, the variety was much higher. As a bonus, half of all proceeds went to help the needy Temmies and Floweys that struggled with city life, and the shop gave them jobs.

The depot was big. Lust tried to remember what it used to be before it was repurposed by the co-owners (Sams? WalMart? Costco? Lowes? something weird). The external sliding doors were loud as the two of them approached, buffeting them both in the face with the more intimate air of the store itself, heavy with stagnation and lingering traces of the treasures within. As the external doors closed, the inner doors opened, and Lust couldn't help but smile at the cheerful greetings that met them as they entered the store.

"Hoi! I'm Temmie!!"

"Hoi! I'm Temmie!!"

"Howdy!! I'm Flowey!!!"

"Howdy!"

"Hoi!!"

"Howdy!!"

"Tem so glad yu come!!"

"You're my BEST FRIEND!!"

At his side, Dance stiffened considerably, glaring at the child-like little flower monsters that were mixed in with the plushie monsters. Lust elbowed him, trying to convey with a look alone that he should be nice, that just because they were a little different didn't mean they were bad. Dance returned his look with one that Lust couldn't quite read, brows furrowed, eyelights solid and focused, jaw locked tight, the corners of his perpetual smile slightly downturned into the skeletal analogue of a straight line. After a moment, Dance let some of that tension ease, his expression shifting, softening, an indulgent grin playing at his teeth.

Lust noticed how Dance casually pulled him closer, and avoided the flowers, as they went inside to explore.

The store was sectioned off, large, colorful signs and banners written in slanted, childish handwriting proclaiming the theme of each area. One said 'LoN¢H BoKZz', the banner fluttering gently in the slight breeze from the AC in front of shelves upon shelves of lunch boxes and packs and some picnic baskets. Some of them were simple, some were covered in images from different franchises, and at least one or two were paper bags decorated in stickers and marker with varying degrees of artistic skill. A flowey was bouncing excitedly next to one of the shelves, grinning up at a small human child who was pointing to one of the displays higher up, clutching their mother's hand. The flowey reached high with a vine, pulling one of the boxes down, to which the child shrieked with delight, letting go of their parent to hug both the box and the flower. Lust melted at the adorable sight.

Dance shifted his weight, turning them to head in another direction (away from the flowey and the human). Lust looked up to see the most likely destination was a section labeled 'NoT FuuD N0 eAT'. When they turned into the isle, it was row upon row of food-themed paraphernalia. Lust saw pillows and plush toys shaped like fruits and vegetables, squeaky toys, wax fruit, a hot dog costume, those floaties that everyone called 'noodles' but were really just long foam cylinders, food stickers, and... there were a few sets of edible underwear, which were being examined far too seriously by a familiar face.

"long time no see, lovely~" Lust cooed, waving with his free hand.

The only other person in the area, a human in a purple, grey, black and white striped sweater, put down the package, blushing as they looked up to see him. A smile broke over their face. "Lust!!" They darted over, their sneakers making soft, squeaky thuds on the tiles.

Lust pulled away from Dance to give his human friend a greeting hug. "its been too long, lovely~ how have ya been?"

Frisk squeezed him tight, stooping slightly to really give it their all, before pulling back to look him in the face. "I've been doing so well! College is a nightmare, but I'm _ace_ -ing all my classes!" They threw finger guns to _pun_ ctuate their linguistic choice.

"eyyyyyyy!" Lust returned the finger guns, grinning brighter.

"And is this one of those boyfriends you've been gushing about?" Frisk asked, looking over to where Dance was standing very still, smile tight.

"probably. call me dance," Lust's boyfriend answered, winking with his right socket, offering his hand. Frisk took it without hesitation, only to set off the whoopee cushion. Dance snickered.

Frisk looked Lust dead in the face. "Of course. Of course your boyfriend would greet people with a whoopee cushion." Their lips pressed tight together, but Lust could see them tremble and waver, could see their narrow eyes widen ever so slightly as they fought the urge to laugh.

Lust beamed. "i know right?! isn't he great??" Lust snuggled back up to Dance's side, looping his arm around Dance's that had snaked into his hoodie pouch. "dance, this is frisk, our little lovely who helped us out of the mountain. lovely, this is dance, my datemate."

"Dance? Oh! I heard about you! You fix cars and stuff, right?" Frisk hummed. "And you're good at beatbox and hiphop-"

"dunno who toldja that, but i don't dance," Dance cut them off, pulling his hand back, his grin again strained. "its why they call me dance. cuz i dont do it."

Lust and Frisk looked at him, then at each other. Lust could see the question in the human's face. He shook his head, not wanting to make a scene or push his boyfriend further than he was comfortable going. _Although this was certainly a topic he would be coming back to later._

"Well, it's very nice to meet you in person," Frisk affirmed. "thanks so much for being there for Lust. I've never seen him this happy."

"my pleasure, kiddo," Dance answered, shifting ever so slightly to lean into Lust, to soak in his warmth and exert that gentle pressure into Lust's shoulder. He didn't take his eyes off of Frisk (had he looked away once since they came in here? Lust didn't think so).

"so," Lust purred, trying to steer the conversation in a more pleasant direction. "what was it that brought you out shopping, lovely?"

"I'm looking for a gift for Toriel. Something nice, that she'll like," Frisk answered.

"and so, naturally, ya thought some gummybear panties would be perfect~"

Frisk blushed. "No! I just... didn't know what they were until I picked up the packaging."

Lust giggled. "i'm just ribbin' ya, lovely. i'm sure you'll find the perfect thing. maybe something to do with snails? or a new whip?"

"Its weird that you can say those two things in the same breath," Frisk deadpanned.

"am i wrong~?"

"No, but thats beside the point. What are you two doing here?"

Lust looked at Dance, who still wasn't looking away from Frisk (his eyelights were a bit smaller, more focused, than Lust thought they should be). "we're looking for a gift for red. we'd like- i mean, _dance wants to_ ask him out, but red's a bit oblivious..."

Frisk looked between Lust and Dance. "Red? Is that your other boyfriend?" Their neutral expression stayed in place, until a knowing, sly smile crept over it. "Going for a nice, healthy poly?"

Lust felt his face heat up. "its not like that! i just want them to be happy."

"neither of us is gonna be happy if you're not there too," Dance murmured softly, making Lust's SOUL flutter and spasm so violently he worried about losing HP. "its the one thing that asshole and i agree on."

Lust tightened his grip on Dance's arm.

"What are you going to get him?" Frisk inquired.

"dunno," Lust admitted. "something that will help dance convey his feelings?"

Frisk turned back to the shelves. "Well, humans like to give gift cards, flowers, and candy when they like someone. But I read a story that once, it was popular to give apples to show interest? What do monsters usually give?"

Lust nearly said 'head', but kept his mouth shut, thinking better of it.

Dance started walking, going around Frisk to get to the other side of the isle. "thanks for the suggestion. see ya."

Frisk wasn't as good at hiding the hurt on their face as they probably thought they were, but Lust appreciated the effort. He knew how much they wanted to get along with everyone, how hard they worked to be accepting and build bridges. After they passed them, Lust looked over his shoulder, making the universal 'i'll call you' hand gesture and waving, hoping they would understand that it wasn't anything they had done. _Dance just didn't like humans..._ And that was something Lust was still working on.

When the two of them turned into the next isle, Lust lightly bumped Dance's hip with his own. "be nice, sweetie, they were only trying to be helpful."

"sure they were," Dance grumbled, eyeing the shelves of 'not food'.

"yes, they were," Lust affirmed. "and you... you like their idea, don't you?"

"i thought of it first," Dance pouted. "but i was thinking of..." He must have finally seen what he was looking for, because he quickened his pace and stopped by a shelf to pull down a giant stuffed mustard bottle. He held it, looking at it, color slowly lighting up his maxilla.

"its perfect," Lust agreed, leaning over to press a quick kiss to his jaw.

Dance also grabbed a big stuffed apple plushie. "and... this too... an apple for the professor..." He clenched his teeth, face blazing brighter, visible even after Dance pulled his hood down over his face. "god, this is stupid. this is never going to work."

"sweetie, no," Lust insisted, grabbing Dance's chin and making him look at him. "you can do this. i know you can. feelings are _hard,_ but you can _come_ out on _top_ if you just keep _thrust_ ing-" Lust cut off with a muffled yelp as Dance chucked the apple in his face.

" _eat_ that," Dance laughed, face burning a brilliant sapphire blue.

"what? are my puns not to your _taste_ ~? maybe this is a better flavor~?" Lust pulled down a watermelon plushy, wiggling his brows suggestively from behind it. Dance's flushed face somehow managed to get brighter, and he chucked the mustard bottle plushie at him.

"you realize we're getting all three of these now."

"and maybe the ketchup? after all, can't separate a matching set~"

When they finally left the store, they had the ketchup, mustard, apple, watermelon, cheeseburger, _and_ mayo bottle plush toys stuffed in their dimension boxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HC that Underlust Sans calls Frisk "lovely" instead of "kiddo" and that was not my fucking HC until i wrote this chapter and realized it was a pun towards my nickname for UL!Frisk and totally fucking fit
> 
> *looks at chunk of next chapter already written* oooooooooh man i'm so hype-!


	27. Meet the Family (pt 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with Dance's brother happens and so do a few other things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO HYPE

Dance pulled Lust through the shortcut back into Lust's livingroom. The whole apartment smelled amazing, spices and grilled fish substitute wafting through the air, making Dance's mouth water. He just stood there, wondering who it was that had broken into Lust's kitchen and used it to create a five star dinner. Lust groaned in delight, leaning into him.

"welc'me home, sweetheart," Red's voice called from the kitchen (answering Dance's question, _holy fuck_ , that wasn't even fair, Red shouldn't be allowed to have so much goddamn talent). "got a s'prise fer ya," and didn't that sound ominous.

"i hope its dinner~" Lust purred, even as Dance led him to the kitchen to see the source of those savory smells.

But someone else was in the kitchen with Red. Their back was to the doorway, looming over Red to watch as he worked at the counter, distributing what had to be dinner across four plates. Dance knew who it was. He'd know that person anywhere.

Papyrus turned around, smiling sweetly (but Dance could see it, feel it, that _victory_ , gleaming in his eyelights, dripping from his every move). "HELLO BROTHER!!"

Dance felt his whole body, his mind, his very SOUL, come to a crashing halt. _No, no no no no, this was all wrong, this was too soon, too soon, not now, he can't be here now, **he can't do this now-**_

"oh?" Lust looked between Dance and Papyrus, _confused_ just like Dance was _confused, how the hell did Paps even get here, how the hell did he find this place?!_ "you're dance's brother? its a pleasure~ to meet you! i'm lust!" Lust offered his hand.

Red, behind Paps, went rigid, sweat beading on his skull. _Confusion_ and _shock_ and _panic_ hit Dance like a freight train.

"IT IS NICE TO MEET YOU, OTHER PERSON I AM UNCERTAIN I SHOULD KNOW!! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!! BUT YOU MAY CALL BE SUAVE!! BECAUSE!! I AM THAT TOO!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!" Papyrus replied goodnaturedly, taking Lust's hand and shaking it. "IF I MAY ASK, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY BROTHER??"

"we're, uh, dating?"

"REALLY?? I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE LARGE ANGRY ONE WITH THE SHARP TEETH AND NO SELF CONTROL WAS WHO MY BROTHER EXCHANGED SLIME WITH."

Dance stuffed his free hand into the pouch of his hoodie, clawing at the fabric inside, fighting down the hysteria threatening to overwhelm him. _Paps thought Red was his boyfriend. Oh, god, oh shit, he could see it, his brother confronting Red and Red thinking he was Pink, because of course Red wasn't there to meet Pink, of course Red didn't know any better, oh god, oh fuck, what the hell did Paps tell him already?! What did he say, what did he do, **what has he done, what has he done-?!?!?**_

Lust's laughter just barely made it through the storm of Dance's mind. "well, maybe indirectly~"

Dance felt every once of his magic once again flood his face, he reached up and pulled his hood down over his eyes, praying that the ringing in his skull was from sensory overload and not him actually whistling like a tea kettle. _Oh fuck, he really had indirectly 'exchanged slime' with Red, Lust had happily been the medium between them! How many times had he tasted mustard and watermelon and smoke on his datemate's kisses, oh shit, oh fuck-!_

Papyrus looked Lust up and down. "YOU SAY THAT QUITE CASUALLY. WOWWIE!! I DID NOT REALIZE EXCESSIVE PROMISCUITY WAS IN THE DATING MANUAL!!"

And those words broke through the maelstrom, cutting through the static of hysteria with a blade of _outrage._ "papyrus." Dance growled, a warning.

Behind Paps, Red set the pan down, turning slow, deliberate. His posture was suddenly (dangerously) fluid. He scowled as he bore into Dance's brother's skull with his glare.

"WHAT?? I AM ONLY SAYING I THINK IT IS A LITTLE DISRESPECTFUL TO OPENLY BETRAY SOMEONE YOU PROFESS TO ADORE!! YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER THAN THAT, BROTHER, EVEN IF YOU DO NOT THINK SO!!! AND ALSO," he continued, as if he couldn't tell that he was already upsetting them enough as it was (of course he could tell, Dance knew he could tell), gesturing to Lust, "A DATEMATE SHOULD HAVE ENOUGH RESPECT FOR YOU TO NOT OPENLY ADVERTISE AVAILABILITY!!"

"ya know what else is 'disrespectful' bro?" Dance hissed between clenched teeth, shifting so he got between Paps and Lust (who had gone still and quiet, too quiet, his smile strained and his grip tight and trembling on Dance's arm, eyelights downcast). His hood flipped back down, settling like a mantle against his back.

Dance loved his brother, he adored him. Paps had always been the one good thing in the world back underground, the one reason he kept getting up in the morning, even if he wasn't the only reason he stayed up. But right now Dance was filled with an incredible urge to punch him in the face. _How fucking dare he-?!_

"coming into someone's home and attacking them passive aggressively," Dance answered his own question, taking a step forward. "going behind my back when i told you to wait to meet my datemate." Another step. "insulting the monsters _i'm very much in love with_ right in front of me."

"you love me?!" Lust blurted out.

All of Dance's rage was snuffed out in an instant, replaced with a flood of _embarrassment, astonishment, elation, love,_ and _mortification._ He quickly yanked his hood back over his skull, trying to hide from the world and everyone in it, wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole, yet at the same time he felt like a weight had been lifted, and he could float away at any moment.

Red's skull glowed like a giftmas light, deep ruby hues gradating outward from his nasal ridge, his single eyelight snuffed out entirely. Dance was stuck staring at him around Papyrus, catching the (admittedly spectacular) view from under his hood, until he managed to scrounge up the courage and turn his head to look at Lust. Lust was glowing just as brightly in brilliant violets, his eyelights shaped like pulsing hearts.

"i- uh- i-" _Say something you idiot!!!_ Dance couldn't quite get his voice to work.

Lust saved him the trouble by yanking him around and into a kiss, curling his entire body around Dance, arms around his neck and one leg over his hip. Dance was awash in _unfathomable euphoria_ , instinctually clutching to Lust and pulling him closer, returning that kiss with as much passion as he could muster. The _utter relief_ that Lust wasn't repelled by hearing that word so soon was so strong, Dance worried he'd fall over.

He wasn't going to think about how this ruined everything with Red.

* * *

Dance shook in Lust's arms. He was shaking. Lust pressed closer, uncaring ( _but he should care, he should, but he was gross and shameless and he honestly could not make himself care even the slightest bit_ ) that Suave was watching as they shared that moment, _this moment_ , that should have been private and personal and just between the two of them (or was it the three of them, now, _oh, please, let it be the three of them now_ ). Because maybe Lust wanted to be close to his boyfriend after hearing that Dance loved him, _Dance Loved Him, oh, god, yes yes yes yes yes!!!!_ Lust didn't care how judgey or abrasive Suave was today, nothing, _absolutely nothing,_ was going to ruin that for him. Hell, he might even thank Suave later, because _Dance loved him_ and _he said it_ and Lust was the happiest monster in the universe.

Dance's grip on him was strong, desperate. Lust didn't even try to pull out of the kiss until the shaking stopped. Dance hid his face against Lust's shoulder, pressing against the collar that was sparking excitedly, the refreshing chill lapping at Lust's neck in irregular waves until it too slowly calmed, the rhythm matching Dance's breathing perfectly (or perhaps it was Dance matching his breathing to it, feeling it from the other side).

"are you and your brother staying for dinner, baby..?" Lust asked softly.

"...only if you're okay with it..."

Lust hummed thoughtfully. "only if you promise to stay the night after he goes home."

"...yeah. think i can do that."

Lust rubbed soothingly at Dance's back, giving him all the time he needed before pulling away.

Red had composed himself between the last time Lust had looked him over and now, his eyelight small and pallid, brows knitted in thought, gaze slightly to one side, teeth downturned in concentration, jaw locked and tense as he ground his teeth. As if on cue, he passed out the dinner plates in sullen silence, shoulders tense.

Suave accepted his plate gratefully. "THANK YOU!! NOW, WHERE SHOULD WE SIT??"

Lust gestured to the livingroom, before taking his place from Red with the hand not still kneading at Dance's spine through his hoodie. He couldn't help but notice how Red and Dance avoided looking at each other, their phalanges never even coming close to touching as the plate was exchanged between them.

Lust shifted his grip on Dance, his hand sliding down to grip lightly at his hip. He guided Dance (and led Suave) out to the livingroom. Dance and Lust both took their usual spots on the couch. Suave took Red's spot on Lust's other side.

Red didn't come out of the kitchen.

* * *

Papyrus almost felt bad for his jape. Almost. But he was also glad he had said those not-so-nice things. He'd gotten to feel it, how, underneath the surface, underneath the anger and the defensiveness and the unpleasant shell, Red really did care about his brother. And he also cared very much about the scantily clad skeleton (Lust?), which was unorthodoxed but also very nice. And Lust, he loved his brother so much, and loved Red so much. All those powerful feelings of affection radiated from them both in waves.

Papyrus' only real concern was Sans' reaction. Sans wasn't the type to get angry, not like that, not with that kind of ferocity. Sans had always been the passive aggressive type (emphasis on the _passive_ ). It was the same kind of viciousness that dripped from Red. And while Sans was a passionate, affectionate monster, the level and nature of what Papyrus had just seen him display was different than he usually showed (far more like that of Lust).

Sans had never been particularly sensitive outside of an ENCOUNTER, so the way he now absorbed and reflected the emotions of these two was ridiculous and a little alarming. Sans had never been particularly emotional to begin with (even Papyrus had difficulty reading him), but as soon as these two were with him he was suddenly 'loud' with his feelings, open and honest in a way that Papyrus had only ever dreamed of.

Papyrus was desperately, desperately glad to see that the monsters his brother had gotten mixed up in were so deeply devoted to his happiness, or he would seriously consider trying to split them up for real.

It was a shame that the situation had caused Red to deteriorate into such an emotional mess. He hid it well physically (nobody would know the sheer level of panic and self loathing he was feeling if they were not as acutely aware of magic as the Great Papyrus). Papyrus had to exert quite a lot of control on the output in the room to keep those feelings from overwhelming his brother as he calmed down from his overload. It was probably a good thing Red didn't follow them out of the kitchen; Lust's calm and happiness was much better for Sans to be mirroring.

On the brighter side, the food was _absolutely divine_ : Red had made a kind of grilled fish-substitute and used ketchup as a base for the sauce. It wasn't even greasy, a true feat when incorporating meat and ketchup into a dish. Maybe with cooking like this, Sans might actually eat more than just condiments and popato chisps!! Papyrus couldn't be happier (under the circumstances which were apparently out of his control and he absolutely hated)! "THIS IS CERTAINLY ABOVE AVERAGE!! MY COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHIEF!!!" He shouted to the kitchen doorway.

He didn't let the fact that Red's steady stream of panic and self loathing didn't even waver from his place in the kitchen get him down. He had complete faith that his brother and their apparently shared datemate would handle that mess after he left.

Sans took his first bite of dinner, and Papyrus could see (and feel) that the taste blew his metaphorical mind. His eyelights dilated, sparking, shifting briefly to hearts. His body stiffened, then relaxed back into the couch as though he were trying to meld with it, to become another lump in the cushions. Lust's fond, relieved smile as he too watched was endearing.

Lust tasted it, and made a noise of pure unadulterated satisfaction. There was a hint of smug pride underneath it all, which made Papyrus wonder if Lust had had something to do with the meal. He decided not to probe, allowing the three of them to fall into a companionable silence as he discretely wafted Red's negativity away from his brother.

After cleaning his plate, Papyrus stood up, stretching. "I WOULD VERY MUCH LOVE TO STAY AND GET TO KNOW YOU ALL MORE, BUT IT SEEMS THE TIME HAS GOTTEN AWAY FROM ME AND I MUST BE GETTING HOME. BROTHER, WOULD YOU MIND USING YOUR SPACETIME JAPERY TO ASSIST??"

"sure, bro," Sans mumbled, drifting into somber apathy now that he wasn't distracted by food. He stood up, setting his empty plate on top of Papyrus'.

Papyrus offered his hand again to Lust. "I KNOW I AM VERY INTIMIDATING AND GREAT, BUT KNOW THAT YOU HAVE MADE A VERY GOOD IMPRESSION UPON ME DESPITE YOUR MANY FLAWS. MAYBE WE COULD ALL GO OUT TOGETHER SOME TIME? I KNOW A MARVELOUS DANCE CLUB-"

"papyrus," Sans growled, catching on to yet another trap Papyrus had hoped to set for him.

"i would... like very much to get to know you better. later," Lust answered, winking with his right socket at Papyrus as he shook hands with him. Papyrus didn't let the disingenuous ring to those words dishearten him. He knew it was only because Lust was worried about making a bad impression on someone with standards as high as his.

He shouldn't worry. He's met the most important standard: making Sans happy.

Now the next step was making Sans _healthy_. Which was a long-term goal. And one Papyrus was excited to have more help with.

"MARVELOUS!! HERE!!! SINCE WE MUST OBVIOUSLY BE FRIENDS NOW, HAVE MY NUMBER AND CALL ME ANYTIME!!" He quickly pulled out a sharpie and a post-it note, writing his number on it and handing it to Lust before taking Sans' hand. "AND DO GIVE A COPY TO RED, PLEASE!!"

Sans pulled Papyrus a little harder than usual through his 'shortcut,' taking them directly into their shared livingroom.

"what the hell, paps?!" Sans hissed the second they were alone. "i told you to let me-"

"YOU WERE STALLING AND I WAS WORRIED. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WORRYING ABOUT MY BROTHER WHOM I CARE FOR VERY MUCH."

"were you stalking me?!"

"OF COURSE NOT!! I MET RED WHILE HE WAS SHOPPING WITH UNDYNE! IT WAS A GOOD THING TOO BECAUSE SHE WAS NICE ENOUGH TO BRING MY CAR BACK AFTER I LEFT WITH RED."

"and you just invited yourself to dinner?!"

"I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED IT," Papyrus admitted, "BUT RED EXTENDED THAT INVITATION."

"do you have any idea what you've- what i've-?!" Sans seemed to lose his momentum, taking a deep, grounding breath and covering his sockets. "you got what you wanted. you met him. and he's never gonna want anything to do with me again."

"DO NOT BE SO DRAMATIC," Papyrus snorted, crossing his arms after miming the act of swatting away his brother's irrational concern. "HE IS SO DISGUSTINGLY SMITTEN WITH YOU I COULD FEEL THE SLIME TRYING TO BE EXCHANGED BETWEEN YOU BOTH WHEN YOU WERE ACROSS THE ROOM FROM EACH OTHER. YOU GOT YOUR EMOTIONAL SLIME ALL OVER ME."

"we did not!"

"YOU DID. AND I AM OFFENDED YOU DIDN'T INFORM ME OF NOT ONE, BUT TWO DATEMATES!! THATS TWICE THE SECRECY!!"

"i didn't wanna talk about it."

"YOU SHOULD HAVE. AND YOU NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL. I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU FOR BECOMING SO MUCH MORE EMPATHETIC BUT CHANNELING THAT KIND OF RAGE AT ME WAS UNCALLED FOR."

Sans froze, his eyelights guttering out. "what?"

Papyrus squinted at his brother. "YOUR EMPATHY?? HAS GONE UP?? TREMENDOUSLY?? I AM VERY PROUD??? ALSO?? DO NOT THROW?? YOUR GRUMPY DATEMATE'S ANGER AT ME AT ME????"

"its what?"

"OH." Oh. Ok. He didn't know. "YOU DID NOT NOTICE."

"notice what????"

Papyrus sat down. "SANS. YOU WERE FEEDING OFF OF THEM ALL NIGHT. RED'S ANGER WHEN I COMMENTED ON LUST?? YOU HAD A MELTDOWN FROM IT??? IT MELDED WITH YOURS AND I THINK YOU WANTED TO THROW A CHAIR AT ME??? FOR A BIT??? IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY BUT ALSO NOT VERY FUNNY AT ALL BECAUSE IT WAS-"

"un _-chair_ -acteristic?"

"NONE OF YOUR PUNS THIS IS SERIOUS!!!"

"maybe i need to _sit_ down, and get to the _bottom_ of this," Sans continued, settling on the couch, his lazy grin straining against his face, eyelights still missing. his voice was soft and easy but Papyrus could just feel the ripple effects of his barely suppressed hysteria. He'd slipped his hands into his hoodie pouch, where Papyrus could see he was wringing them, the faintest sign of movement within the fabric.

"SANS!!!!"

"you're smiling."

"I AM AND I HATE IT."

"i wouldn't know, since i can't feel anything-"

"YES YOU CAN. YOU FEEL THAT? THAT MILD ANNOYANCE THAT IS STARTING TO BUILD UP INTO IRRITATION ON TOP OF THAT BEDROCK OF AFFECTION AND BROTHERLY CONCERN?? THOSE ARE MY FEELINGS. FOR YOU. YOU KNOW THEM. YOU FELT THEM WHEN YOU USED TO DANCE WITH ME WHICH YOU SHOULD STILL BE DOING AND I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DO NOT-"

"breath, bro."

"I DO NOT NEED TO BREATH AND I AM ENTITLED TO MY ANNOYANCE AND EXCITEMENT."

"oh my god i've been channeling them."

Papyrus sat there, watching his brother as he finally worked around the denial so thoroughly embedded in his SOUL. "YES. AND THAT IS WONDERFUL. BUT PLEASE STOP THROWING ANGER AT ME."

"how much of my feelings for them is just residue? how much of my life is a lie? what-"

"DO YOU STILL LOVE THEM??"

"........................................yes??????"

Papyrus smirked. "THERE IS NOTHING HERE TO MANIPULATE THAT FEELING. AND EVEN IF THERE WAS, I KNOW YOU ARE MORE THAN CAPABLE OF TELLING YOURSELF APART FROM SOMEONE ELSE. YOU JUST HAVEN'T BEEN TRYING, YOU LAZYBONES."

Sans groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. "fuck."

"LANGUAGE."

"this explains so much."

"OF COURSE IT DOES. AND YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN SOONER IF YOU HAD COME TO ME EARLIER LIKE YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD HAVE."

Papyrus let his brother have a moment, then clapped him on the shoulder. "NOW GO BACK AND SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOUR DATEMATES. BECAUSE LUST WAS VERY VERY HAPPY ABOUT SOMETHING AND I THINK HE WANTS TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU."

"...yeah..." Sans stood up. "uh... thanks bro."

"YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT ME?"

Sans chuckled right up until he disappeared, leaving Papyrus feeling like his work was done.

* * *

Red couldn't believe how stupid he was. _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_ He'd let some stranger into his pet's apartment!!! He'd let himself be manipulated _again!!!_ He nearly got his pets killed _again_ what the _actual fuck_ was _wrong_ with him?!?!?!

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

It was Dance's brother. Suave was _Dance's_ brother, and Suave had mistaken him for Lust (which kind of made him a moron but thats not Red's problem). Suave was Dance's brother and _what the hell was Red thinking_ just bringing any old asshole into Lust's apartment like he fucking owned the place, like he had any right, _what the fuck-_

Red clutched at the counter, completely ignoring the last plate left for him. It was slightly burnt, left sitting a few moments too long in the pan when Red had frozen after hearing just how badly he had _fucked everything up_. Not that Red cared - a little char never hurt anyone.

Not that he was particularly hungry at the moment. The idea of food honestly made his midriff lurch unpleasantly, made his nonexistent throat burn with the taste of bile and stale magic. He didn't even deserve food after how badly he had fucked up.

 _And he needed to stop seeing things that weren't there._ Or in this case hearing things. Dance may have pluralized the word 'monster' but that was just an accident. He was pissed and he wasn't thinking before he spoke. Hell, Red had been pissed and he probably just hadn't heard right.

And even if he had heard right, it didn't mean the second person had been _him_.

And even if it was (which it absolutely wasn't), Red certainly didn't deserve it.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid-!_

Red was brought out of his internal turmoil by the sound of a soft crack. he looked down, seeing that his claws had ruined Lust's counter, leaving deep scratches. He'd accidentally put enough pressure on it to crack the plastic laminate. Red cursed under his breath, yanking his hands back and putting them to better use cleaning the parts of the kitchen he hadn't broken like a dumbass.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

By the time he was done with the pan and the bowls, Red had calmed down enough to choke down dinner. He gingerly picked up the plate (the last thing he needed was to break Lust's kitchenware too) and tilted it at an angle until he had inhaled the meal, not bothering to taste it. Then he washed that plate too and put it away before his clumsy ass could break that like he broke the fucking counter, _Red you moron how the fuck are you going to pay for that when you can't even afford rent in your own apartment, you fucking useless piece of shit, **you nearly got your pets killed-!**_

"sweetheart??" Lust's voice pierced through the fog of Red's self-loathing. Red turned to face him before realizing he didn't actually want to face him now.

"fuck..." Red's usual eloquence eluded him. _How the fuck was he supposed to apologize for an unforgivable failure?!_ He stuffed his _stupid_ claws in his _stupid_ shorts pockets. His hand pressed hard against the velvet box there. Red felt his sockets burn at the unfairness of it all.

Lust set three empty plates on the counter by the sink. His eyelights caught sight of the cracks, the scratch marks. He looked up at Red, and Red braced for it, for the denouncement. _He'd probably just lost Lust his deposit and he nearly got him killed by letting a fucking stranger into their safe place what the fuck, Red, what the fuck have you done?!_

"red, what's wrong??" Lust darted to his side, reaching up to cup his jaw on both sides.

"what th' fuck ya _think?!_ " Red snarled, his disgust at himself translating (once again) to vitriol at just about everything else.

Lust didn't flinch, not really, but Red could see his joints lock up, making his posture more rigid. "i don't know."

"fuck- jus'- fuckin'-" The warmth of Lust's hand against his maxilla and mandible gave Red something else to think about, another bit of data to take up already overtaxed mental bandwidth. Something had to give. Red closed his sockets, leaning into the touch, willing it to override everything. "i'm _sorry-_ "

"for what??" Lust pressed closer, pressing his teeth to Red's clavicle though his thin shirt. "sweetheart, its just a counter, it was ugly anyway-"

"s'not just a fuckin' counter! i almost gotcha fuckin' dusted!!"

Lust froze. "red. no. you didn't-"

"i let a fuckin' _stranger_ int' th' fuckin' house cuz i was a fuckin' _dumbshit_ what thought i'd be nice t' s'prise ya with yer bro, 'n i didn't ev'n fuckin' know who th' fuck it wuz i wuz lettin' in, 'n it could o' been fuckin' _anyone_ i almost got ya ki-!"

Lust grabbed Red by the collar, yanking him down and pulling him into a kiss, cutting him off. Lust was warm, warm and safe, and Red _almost ruined everything_. He brought one hand out and curled it around his sweetheart, pulling him closer, unable to suppress the low, satisfied rumble that bubbled up from his ribs. Lust mewled against his teeth, clutching at him like Red was the only thing keeping him alive.

"everyone makes mistakes, sweetheart," Lust murmured when he finally pulled out of the kiss, nuzzling into Red's shoulder. "and its kinda funny, actually. definitely gonna be a story to tell."

Red sighed. "i fucked up."

"it was a mistake," Lust insisted. "and it was funny right up until suave decided he wanted to be- uh-"

"a judgment'l prick?"

"i was thinking 'provocative', but, maybe."

Red sighed, pulling his other hand carefully from his pocket (so as not to let the box fall out). He reached up, scratching tenderly at Lust's jaw. "'m still sorry."

"sweetie, i'm not even mad," Lust purred, tilting his head to one side to give Red more room to maneuver. "and when dance gets back, we have something to talk to you about... well, to ask you..."

"anythin' ya want, sweetheart," Red rumbled, desperate for any chance to make up for his failure (even if Lust didn't see it as such).

Lust made a thoughtful little humming noise. "couch? please?"

Red chuckled, gesturing for his pet to lead the way. Lust only pulled back enough to start walking, keeping close. Red slung his arm around Lust's neck and tugged gently, the weight on his crusty black SOUL lifting a little with how positively Lust responded to it, to him.

They were halfway across the livingroom when Dance stepped back into the apartment, between them and the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...BUT THIS NIGHT ISN'T OVER GUYS THE HYPE IS STILL HYPING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> also happy thanksgiving everyone


	28. First Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance throws an apple plushie at Red's head and thats pretty much the most exciting thing that happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3.5k and like, totally nothing interesting happens here at all  
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nope  
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nothing interesting to see here  
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) totally  
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) garbage chapter

Dance stared at Red and Lust, eyelights slightly hazed, focused on the middle distance, brow furrowed in concentration. Red held still, unsure what that expression meant. Red wasn't certain he liked being looked at like that, looked _through_ like that. It wasn't like being CHECKed but it was certainly close enough for discomfort. He made sure to hold perfectly still, since he'd fucked up enough already today, tightening his grip on Lust's collar. His other hand found itself into his pocket, clutching at the velvet box there, the box he was sure he would never have cause to open.

"we need to talk," Dance started, and _oh fuck, oh fuck, he was gonna say it, he was gonna fucking say it, say that Red was a goddamn fuck up and he needed to leave, needed to leave and stay the fuck away from Lust. And he'd be right this time. Red was dangerous, a dangerous fucking moron who couldn't even keep his own pet safe-_

Dance held up his hands in a placating gesture, eyelights going small as they focused on Red's face. "hey, woah, chill! no need to get so _rattled_ , you're not in trouble or anything?!?!"

"i ain't rattled," Red muttered, avoiding eye contact. "look, if ya want me gone, just say so, i get it."

"'you gone' is the last thing i want, you bonehead," Dance grumbled right back, taking a deep breath. "ok, wow, this is hard."

"would it be easier if i gave you two some alone time?" Lust asked, and Red tightened his grip even more on reflex.

"no, please, you are very much needed here right now," Dance practically whined, taking another deep breath, his eyelights unfocusing again for a moment.

"yer... actin' weird t'night..." Red wanted to ask if Dance was alright. He was acting strange all of a sudden. _His eyelights kept jittering weirdly, was he having vision problems?? Was he sick?? Oh, fuck, did Red give him food poisoning?!?!?!_ It took all of Red's threadbare self control not to run a CHECK on him, to make sure his HP was still high.

"i'm fine," Dance muttered, as if he could read Red's mind. "this is just hard."

"whats hard, baby?" Lust asked the question Red was too afraid to voice.

"i'll explain later. not gonna let anything derail this." Dance pulled out his phone, reaching into the dimension box to pull out... a mustard bottle? No, it was a plush toy shaped like a cartoonish mustard bottle, comically oversized to be big enough to use as a pillow substitute. Dance held it out. "here."

Red wasn't entirely certain what this was supposed to mean. He pulled his hand from his pocket, taking hold of the plushie, careful not to let his claws puncture the soft material. "uh... heh. i mean, s'nice? but, uh, wuzzit fer?"

Dance put his hands in his hoodie pouch. "its a gift. ya know... because i like you?"

Red clicked his teeth, finally pulling his arm off of Lust and stepping away from him. "no, ya don't." He turned to Lust, fighting down the awful ache in his chest, the burn in his sockets. "ya put th' grease monkey up t' this?"

"i-"

Red put his hand up, a gesture for silence. "nah, don't think i wanna know. sweetheart, i get'cha want us t' get along, but ya can't force it. dance just ain't never gonna like me, 'n i'd rather us be honest 'bout that 'n..." _Than kid himself about his chances. Than pretend nothing was wrong. Than indulge in even one moment of pretending that Dance would ever see or think of him as anything but what he was, a useless violent dumbass who could barely keep himself alive, nevermind a pet, never mind two._ He could handle Dance not liking him, he could handle the ridicule and disdain and fear, but _please, please for fucks sake **don't fake** -_

Something hit Red in the side of the head. His senses went on alert, panic setting in because _oh fuck, he'd been hit, he's gonna die-!!_ Where had that attack even come from?!?!?! He hadn't felt any violent intent anywhere?!?!? Red did a quick CHECK on himself, only to find his HP was still completely in tack, not a scratch on him. He looked down, where he was sure the projectile had fallen, to see a plush toy shaped like an apple, a little too red, with a little stubby stem, complete with a cartoonish leaf.

"you don't get to tell me how i feel," Dance said low. "i said i like you and i mean it. it has nothing to do with lust."

"did ya just throw 'n apple toy at me?"

Dance came closer. Red went as still as possible. He could feel sweat slick down his spine, the tension mounting as Dance advanced. "i'm trying to tell you that i _mean_ it, you dumbass," Dance growled. "i'm sick and tired of _dance_ ing around the issue."

"oh, fer th' love o' god, no fuckin' puns-"

"and now i finally have a good _rhythm_ down," Dance continued, glaring up at Red defiantly, "i'm going to take whatever _steps_ necessary to get through to you."

Lust snickered, picking up the apple plushie and bumping it lightly against Red's shoulder. "he means it, sweetheart~"

"how th' fuck 'm i s'posed t' take 'm seriously when he's spoutin' off fuckin' shitty ass puns?!" Red complained, but he didn't move. He was too afraid to move. _This had to be a dream. Suave must have knocked him out or dusted him while he was making dinner and this was all just a bad dream. Only this part was almost okay. Expect the puns. The puns were awful._

"if you wanna shut me up, just give me an honest answer, bonehead."

"th' fuck ya want from me?!" Red snapped. "ya wanna hear i want ya as my pet?! that i've wanted ya as my pet since th' damn drinkin' game?! ya happy now, ya fuckin' ass-"

Dance reached up, his hand moving faster than Red would have given him credit for, curled and open to latch onto his goal. He nearly made contact with Red's collar, but the magic within it sparked angrily at just the intent in Dance's hand as it approached. Dance's eyelights dilated harshly as he yanked his hand back, clenching his fist before stuffing it into his hoodie pouch.

Red put his own hand over his collar, trying to use his own intent to mute that of his brother's, to calm it, to make it _shut the fuck up, you're scaring Dance you overgrown toothpick, shut up, shut up, god damn it Red was such a fuck up, he shouldn't have let Dance get that close, should have known better, should have-_

"red." Dance's voice was both loud and soft all at once. "kneel down."

"wut?"

"kneel down for me so i can put my money where my mouth is."

Red felt every porous surface in his face burn with excess magic. "ya'ain't fuckin' serious-" He couldn't be, Dance was _terrified of him-_

"i am completely serious. i'm not standing on my tip toes to get to you. you come down to me."

"ya mean it?" Red felt his SOUL flutter nervously. This couldn't be happening. "really gonna be my pet? lemme take care o' ya?"

"how many different ways do i gotta say it, bonehead?" Dance asked, exasperated (and almost affectionate, _he almost sounded affectionate, oh shit, this was happening this was really happening_ ).

"just-" Red reached out, tentative, careful, careful, _he had to be fucking careful, no sudden moves,_ until he had his hand around Dance's throat, scratching lightly at his jaw. "be real with me. gonna be mine? wear my collar? lemme tend t' ya 'n fuss 'n shit?"

Dance sighed, gripping Red's wrist with one hand, not pulling it away, just holding it there. "yes, already. geeze." His face was dusted faintly in a pale blue, shimmering as he averted his gaze.

Red stared at him. He couldn't find it. He couldn't find a single tell that the offer was anything but honest. Dance had given him food (albeit food-shaped plush toys, which were... oddly endearing. he kind of loved them). Dance agreed to be his pet. _Dance agreed to be his pet, holy shit._

Red bent down, pressing his frontal bone to Dance's, paying close attention to his response, waiting for even the slightest hint that he wasn't comfortable. _It never came_. Dance just stood there, breathing slow and easy, his face glowing a bit brighter. Red hadn't felt this kind of relief, this kind of happiness, since Lust put on his collar.

 _Speaking of which_...

Red reached out with his free hand, pulling Lust against him. "a'aight. its been a real long fuckin' day. dunno 'bout th' two o' ya but i'm ready t' crash."

"bed. now." Dance deadpanned, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the bedroom.

"all three of us?" Lust asked, the sheer level of hope in his voice almost heartbreaking.

"yes." Dance decided. Which Red was more than fine with.

Careful to still move slow and easy (no use poking the bear), Red pulled his head away from Dance and wrapped his arm around both of his pets ( _both, holy shit **both** , did he die and go to a better place because HOLY SHIT this had to be a dream, a dumb dream, or a cruel joke, he should be so much more skeptical, where were the fucking cameras, who was pranking him_). He guided them to the bedroom, then flopped on Lust's mattress, letting his sockets drift shut after setting the oversized mustard bottle by the pillows, against the headboard.

He'd probably wake up in the morning and find this was all some drunken hallucination.

He only just remembered to fish the box from his pocket and tuck both it and his cell phone on the shelf above the bed before settling back down again.

"whats that?" Lust asked, snuggling into Red's side, already changed into more comfortable sleeping clothes.

Red looked up just in time to see Dance duck into the bathroom, a wad of clothes in his arms.

"nothin'," Red huffed. "just a... project."

"what kind of project?"

"maybe not a pointless one aft'r all..."

Lust hummed. "alright, i get it. its a secret~"

Red chuckled, turning his head to watch the bathroom door, his frayed nerves singing nervously from knowing he had another pet and not knowing for certain where he was or how he was doing or if he needed help- _stop it, shut up, don't be creepy, that will only push him away._

After a little while, Dance came back in, dressed in a baggy t-shirt and trunks. He dumped the wad of fabric that was his regular clothes and climbed into bed, motions hesitant and uncertain. Lust rolled away from Red, patting the space he made between them. Dance slid himself into place, throwing his arms around Lust and pressing into Red's side with his back.

Red rolled onto his side, throwing his arm over both of them. He didn't know how long he lay there, just listening to their breathing, exhausted emotionally and physically, but unwilling to really sleep for fear of waking up and this moment disappearing. He only knew for certain that his last thoughts were how comforting it was to know they were both right there.

* * *

The next morning Dance woke up feeling warm and safe.

Lust was a small furnace, cuddled in his arms, pressed up close in his favorite cuddle position, his face nuzzled into Dance's shoulder. That by itself was usually more than enough to have Dance feeling warm and content, but this morning there was a completely different presence at his back. Red's larger frame, drenched in sweat and glistening with it in the dim light, was half draped over Dance from behind, his arm a protective weight on Dance's side, caging him in between Red and Lust.

Dance sighed with relief. _He'd actually done it._ Last night had been a completely different kind of difficult. Separating his emotions from Red's and Lust's was a task requiring far too much focus than he ever expected it to (their wavelengths were so close together, it was unreal). Dance wondered if it would be easier to just ride them out than expel them altogether. And Red had been so full of _fear_ and _confusion_ , so full of _hurt_ and _anger_ , it was no wonder Dance had always been on a hair trigger around him.

The way that had all crumbled to nothing and left Red filled with _profound joy_ after he'd finally gotten through to him was both humbling and an incredible ego boost. The intimate knowledge of just how highly Red valued him (as highly as Red valued Lust, as highly as Dance valued Lust) made his traitorous SOUL quake and flutter.

A loud musical beeping noise broke through the relaxing silence. Behind him, Red growled, the noise quivering deep in his ribcage, making his chest vibrate against Dance's back. Red shifted, pulling Dance and Lust closer, cuddling them to his chest. "fuck off..." he snarled viciously, right before burying his face in Dance's shoulder, his jaw slightly open, just enough for Red's teeth to graze lightly over Dance's bones. The sensation supercharged Dance's marrow with electricity, setting every particle of dust in his body alight. Dance didn't dare move, but this was suddenly _very delicate territory and he had no idea what the hell to do._

In front of him, Lust had squirmed out of both Red's and Dance's arms and found the source of the noise -- Lust's cellphone. He turned off the alarm, a soft whine escaping, (an external sign that did nothing to convey the _annoyance,_ _want_ , _resolve_ , _excitement_ , and _contentment_ he was feeling), as he sat up, pulling away and off the bed. Red growled again, the noise heralding _grumpiness_ and _worry_ and a kind of _neediness_ that was objectively adorable (and who would have thought that _that_ would be a word Dance would use to describe Red?) as he groped sleepily, blindly, for Lust.

Lust stood just out of reach, watching with a soft, _fond_ grin on his face. "'m goin' to see my bro, sweetheart," Lust mumbled, reaching down to catch hold of Red's hand, halting his search. Lust thumbed at Red's metacarpals, and Dance could feel Red shiver against him, _soothed_ by the contact. "s'okay. go back to sleep."

Red mumbled something that might have been, "'k, b' safe," his body relaxing again with _relief_ , his breathing slowing. When Lust let go of his hand, Red brought his arm in and curled it tight around Dance, hugging and cuddling him closer still with _protectiveness_ and a visceral _joy_ , leaving Dance thoroughly trapped.

Lust smiled far too victoriously, radiating _amusement_ and _pride_.

Dance tried wiggling, to see if he could slip out of Red's arms. Red only tightened his grip, shifting it so the arm Dance had been laying on could curl up and around him also, cuddling Dance like a stuffed animal.

Lust circled the bed, stripping as he walked, heading for the bathroom.

Dance got the feeling this was a normal thing, and that he had been used as a sacrifice to Red's morning _clinginess_. The only thing keeping him from giving Lust a piece of his mind about it (and Red) was the fact that he could feel Red was a step away from falling apart, and that Dance honestly didn't mind the attention. It felt... it made him feel safe, and steady, and there was so much _trust_ and _love_ in the air it was making him light headed and a little nauseous. Dance groaned softly, curling up tighter to try and hide from the light and the sound that were just plain irritating when he was being choked by all these sappy feelings.

Could skeletons suffocate on feelings? _If they could, it was a pretty okay way to die._

 _...No, but seriously, could monsters die from feelings because there was a lot going on right now, was this a legitimate concern??? Was his shitty little SOUL even built to handle this???_ Dance started to panic, really panic, clinging to the nearest thing to try and ground himself (which happened to be Red's arms around him). Red tightened his grip, one hand coming up to curl around Dance's neck and scratch, and- _oh, okay, that was nice. This was nice. He was fine. No need to panic, he was safe, he would keep him safe-_ Dance stiffened, sockets shooting open wide. _That wasn't him, that was Red, that wasn't him being all calm about the fact he was drowning in emotions, that was Red feeling zen because Dance was in his arms letting himself be cuddled and protected and- and Red wanted to protect him, shit, oh, shit, calm down, this is too much, too much, **too much-**_

At least Dance knew why he sometimes got so overloaded now. Even before he knew what it was, the issue had been _'too much'_ and Dance hadn't known what he was having 'too much' of. Now he knew. Too many feelings all at once. Too many. Him and Red and Lust and _it was too much, he couldn't take it-_

 _Panic_ flit through the air and Dance did not have the assiduity to tell who it was coming from. Suddenly he was spun around and pulled tight into Red's chest, one hand pressed into his back while the other made little scratching motions on his skull. Then, moments later, it was suddenly so much quieter in the room. It was like someone had been playing heavy metal music on full blast, and then someone yanked the plug for the speaker system out of the wall. Dance could still feel the background noise that was Lust in the other room, and Red's collar, and his own internally generated _concern_ , but Red was suddenly... absent.

 _No. Not absent. Muted. Like wind blowing outside the walls of your bedroom window during a storm._ Red was still _panicking_ , he was _worried_ and _terrified_ and at least somewhat awake by this point, but Dance could barely hear it.

"shhhh," Red rumbled softly. "juzza bad dream... iz a'aight..."

_Holy shit, he thought Dance was having a nightmare didn't he?!_

Dance did not have the emotional bandwidth to be overwhelmed by an irrational fear (and yes, he knew it was an irrational fear, if that was actually a thing he'd probably be dead by now, he's been like this for four years and just hadn't diagnosed himself right) of self-destructing from overloading on feelings, and also be overwhelmed by how _stupid fucking cute_ it was that Red (big dumb-but-also-not-dumb Red, who was grizzly and prickly and angry and terrifying) was trying to comfort someone having a bad dream. Something had to give.

Dance decided the fear could be what gave in today. He made himself relax, focus on the feeling of a comforting hand on his back, on how warm (and safe!) he was, on how he finally had everything he wanted.

Slowly, as Dance found himself calming down, he felt his sense for Red's state trickle in more fully. The muted sensation faded, and Red's emotions came back in their entirety. As they did, Red's feelings shifted from _alarm_ to _relief_ , that pervasive _affection_ filling Dance to the brim, along with _contentment_.

Dance could definitely get used to this. Now all he needed was Lust to come back, and it would be perfect.

Dance huffed, shifting a little more as he got more comfortable. The steady scratching at his skull had slowed, but had not quite stopped altogether. _Affection_ and _contentment_ and a general _fondness_ settled over Dance like a mantel, along with the faint scent of watermelon and sweat. He didn't fight the pleasant static that filled his skull, letting him drift back to sleep.

* * *

Lust came out of the shower, patting himself dry as he looked over his datemates. Red had curled protectively over Dance, and Dance had spun around to bury his face in Red's shirt. Lust couldn't help himself, pausing his morning routine to slip up behind Red, kissing at his skull and shoulder as he reached in to wipe a bit of drool from Dance's jaw. He still couldn't get over how goddamn lucky he was, to have not just one or the other, but to have _both_. _Both of these wonderful boys were his, and one of them had even said he loved him!!!_

On top of which, they were both so unbelievably adorable in the mornings. Like kittens, snuggling together for warmth and comfort.

Lust couldn't help the purr that stirred in his ribcage, couldn't help darting to the other side of the bed and pressing a few well deserved kisses to Dance's skull as well. He wanted to snuggle in between them and bask in that pleasant warmth that had nothing to do with his affliction (that thing that Dance finally made it okay to name, that undeniable love). But his boys had only just started reaching out for each other and like hell he was letting anything get in between them, himself included.

For now, he was going to take a few pictures, get dressed, and then gush to his brother about the newest addition to his slowly growing list of blessings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did You Know: in ancient greece it was apparently a custom to throw/give an apple to someone to say you loved them ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> we've been on this train for 6 in-story months (give or take) and finally, FINALLY _**FINALLY**_ it happens!!! MY OT3 IS ALIVE!!! THE SHIP!!! HAS!!! SAILED!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH
> 
> ITS NOTHING BUT HAPPY AND FLUFF FROM HERE ON OUT FOLKS!!!  
> :3 or is it? =) how the hell should i know?


	29. Not Quite Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some lingering issues are revealed

Red woke up blearily to find Dance cradled safely in his arms, his soft, rhythmic breathing indicative that he was still fast asleep. Red vaguely remembered Lust leaving, likely going to see his brother (it was sunday, after all). He focused just enough to try and calculate in his head where Lust was in the city, pinpointing him somewhere within the area of a coffee shop on the good side of town. He smirked, pleased with that little bit of info, and settled back down, nuzzling Dance's skull as he closed his sockets again.

 _It actually happened._ Red felt that purr rumble messily in his ribcage. He stroked at Dance's skull, dragging his knuckles leisurely over his temporal, occasionally peaking through lidded sockets to gaze upon his new pet's sleeping face. It amazed Red how much stress and irritation just vanished when Dance was so vulnerable. He wondered if it was possible for Dance to make a face like that while awake, to be genuinely content.

He supposed it was something to strive for.

Red lay there, just enjoying the fact that it was real, that Lust was his, and Dance was also his.

He might not have moved at all if his phone hadn't gone off.

Red growled, as irritated by the noise as he was by the interruption to his bonding with his pet (his pet, _his pet, holy fuck, pinch him he must still be dreaming_ ). He reached up and grabbed the phone angrily, rolling onto his back and flipping it open. "some'ne better be fuckin' dyin'," he hissed into the receiver.

Dance growled irritably at his side, before shifting closer and snuggling into the crook of Red's arm. Red wrapped his arm around him, absently rubbing along the side of his ribs in a fashion he hoped came off as soothing.

"dyin' a boredom count?" Slim's voice answered over the phone. "mornin' asshole."

"mornin', jackass," Red grumbled back in greeting. "th' fuck ya want?"

"its sunday. yer pet's busy. come hang with us."

Red looked down at Dance, who was starting to wake up, blinking at the dim light, his hands clutching at Red's shirt. He was scowling already, staring up at Red with a cold intensity that sent a shiver down Red's spine. _He had no idea what the right answer was. Was he supposed to run for it, give Dance space, or did Dance want to spend time with him today even though they never had before??_

Red pulled the phone from his head. "uh... did ya... have... uh, plans, 'r some shit??" He asked, feeling like a fucking idiot because _he should know what the hell Dance did on sundays by now._

Dance glared up at him. "we literally just started dating yesterday, what do you think?"

"i dunno???"

Dance took a deep breath, closing his sockets. "i was hoping we could, i dunno, spend some time together and sort our shit out..."

Red was honestly _ecstatic_ to hear that. He wasn't in the mood to part form his new pet quite yet. Just like with Lust, he wanted to stay close, to bask in this victory, this stroke of luck. He didn't wanna go anywhere.

Putting the phone back to his skull, Red hummed. "nah. got other plans. gonna hang with my pet t'day."

"yer such a buzzkill," Slim whined. "ya never wanna chill anymore."

"totally chillin' right now. just not interested in watchin' ya 'n th' ashtray swap smoke all day."

"ya know," Slim hummed. "ya could bring yer pet along. i mean he looked pretty down fer some netflix 'n chill..."

"considerin' th' last time? nah. gonna wait a bit more on that. maybe some other time."

"yer no fun."

"bite me."

"come over 'n i will."

"nah." Red hung up, putting the phone back on the shelf. His hand bumped against the box, and he had to pause to run his fingers along the outside before bringing his hand back down and relaxing again.

Dance grabbed at his hand as it settled on Red's ribs. Red went absolutely still, so as not to startle his pet, shoving down the nervous whimper that threatened to escape through his teeth. He needed to get his own shit together, that was certain. Red couldn't function if every new thing Dance did made him panic that he had done something wrong (even if that was the most likely conclusion because _Red was an absolute fuck up_ ). Dance seemed to stiffen at his side, before his eyelights unfocused again for a moment, and he tightened his grip.

"chill, bonehead."

"i'm th' most fuckin' chill, fuck you," Red growled defensively, causing Dance to snort out a laugh.

"that an invitation?"

Red snapped his teeth shut, hard, feeling the heat rise to his face. Dance grinned smugly up at him,  
pulling Red's hand closer. Red moved it on his own, slow and easy, matching Dance's pace, letting Dance guide the movement as he pleased. Dance gave a more insistent tug, and Red rolled on his side, hoping that was what he wanted. He must have guessed right, because Dance hummed softly, focusing again on Red's hand. He seemed to stare at his palm for a moment, before he put his thumb against Red's metacarpals and started to rub gentle circles into them. Red waited for it, for the moment Dance would feel that reminder of Red's stupid LV and freak himself out, but it didn't come.

 _It never came_.

Red let out a breath he was holding, sagging into his side of the bed. As long as Dance was okay, it was fine. Dance could honestly do whatever he wanted. Who was Red to complain? _It kinda felt nice, anyway._

Dance's face dusted over with a pleasant shade of pastel blue as he worked, investigating the spaces between Red's claws and metacarpals. He eventually got bored playing with Red's hand, and sat up. "hungry..." he muttered to himself, avoiding looking Red in the face.

Red pushed himself up "lemme get breakfast," he said, desperate for something concrete he could do to make it clear he'd be able to take care of his pet. He slipped his phone and the box into his pocket, then made a beeline for the kitchen, already planning the perfect late morning breakfast for _his new pet._

Who knew it was even possible to be this happy?

* * *

Everything should have been perfect. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours and Dance had Red wrapped around his finger. What had once been a combative relationship transformed _literally overnight_ into one of mutual benefit. Dance only had to make the vaguest of mentions that he wanted something, and Red would bend over backwards to make it happen. It was... actually kind of adorable, how much Red cared.

Red's cooking was amazing. That first breakfast was the most fantastic omelette Dance had ever had, perfectly seasons to taste the best with ketchup. Red did the dishes, Red let him pick the movies they watched as they both vegged out on the couch, and _by god_ , Red was the most comfortable bag of bones Dance had ever had the pleasure of laying on. Red had a habit of wrapping his hand around Dance's neck, which was a bit odd, but Dance didn't mind (a fact which was also odd). The way Red would scratch at his neck and jaw was soothing.

Everything was perfect...

...Except for that _fucking collar, god damn it,_ Dance and Red hadn't even been in a relationship for _one day_ , and Dance already hated that ratty thing with every fiber of his being. It mocked him. It was _still_ mocking him. Every time, _every fucking time_ Dance tried to make a move, be it leaning up to try and kiss Red, or nuzzle into his shoulder, or touch anywhere within a few inches of Red's neck, the hateful contraption would spark and bite viciously, warding Dance away from his advances.

He absolutely _loathed_ it.

_Was it too soon to ask to get rid of it?_

Probably. If the way Boss and Lust went on about it, it was probably way too soon.

Red, the moron, seemed utterly oblivious to Dance's plight, although even the slightest sign of discontent from Dance would send him spiraling into hysteria (not that Dance would have known from looking at him, the bastard had the most amazing poker face, it was only Dance's broken SOUL that let him know there was anything wrong at all). Dance spent as much time reassuring Red that he hadn't done anything wrong as he did resenting that stupid collar.

The day wasn't _all_ bad. After another futile attempt to really get closer (an attempt that caused a particularly painful bite from the collar), Red got up and pulled his coat off the coat rack. He draped it over Dance, and Dance felt his rattling bones start to settle with the comforting weight. He pulled the coat tight around him, leaning into Red's side with a frustrated huff. _He didn't get it_. Red was supposed to be his datemate too, right? How was he supposed to show him how he felt if he couldn't get closer than arms length?!

Then Red had reached in and did that thing where he scratched under Dance's jaw, and Dance let himself drift. He was warm, he was comfortable, and at least one of his boyfriends was there. Being pissed off and teetering on the edge of a panic attack was exhausting.

* * *

Lust came home, panting softly, his breath visible in the comparatively colder air of the apartment. Just stepping into the livingroom was like the difference between Hotland and Alphys' old lab underground. He whimpered softly with relief, kicking off his boots. The sight he was greeted with was one he had only ever dared to dream of: Red and Dance curled up on the couch together, fast asleep. Red was sitting with his knees spread, lazy and comfortable, his head tilted back to rest on the back of the couch, a bit of drool dripping down his chin. Dance was pressed into his side, in the same spot Lust usually had, swamped in Red's leather coat and breathing softly, held there by an arm wrapped around his shoulders, Red's claws occasionally twitching where it hung limp. Lust only paused long enough to take another picture, then immediately joined the cuddle pile.

Lust snuggled into Red's lap sideways, leaning over to first press a soft kiss to Dance's skull. He had to push away the hood of Red's coat to get to him (and _dear god_ was this the best thing to come home to, his favorite boys curled up together, relaxed and comfortable and ready for him to join in).

...Or was Lust actually getting in the way..? Should he go? Maybe it wasn't the best idea to climb on the couch with them, maybe they wanted to be left alone-

Lust's thoughts were cut off as Dance's arm snaked out, gripping Lust by his collar and pulling him over for a proper kiss, possessive and hungry. Lust made an embarrassing (but happy, _very happy_ ) noise, wrapping his arms around Dance's neck to steady himself, enjoying the attention from the monster who loved him ( _he loved him, he loved him_ , Lust hadn't been able to stop the way his whole being lit up at the thought, how happy it made him, hadn't been able to really stop thinking about it or talking about it all day, didn't care about that gentle, indulgent smile his brother wore as he babbled about the same topic for hours on end, or the weird looks they got from other tables, he had been too caught up in the fact that someone loved him and he loved them in return and it wasn't just about the sex even though that was great too and _did he mention his datemates were dating each other now, it was a poly, he was the happiest monster in the world and now he was home and he could cuddle them both at once and there wasn't going to be any more sad_ ). Dance growled, pulling from the kiss to bury his face in Lust's shoulder, a gesture he always made when he was less than happy with a certain situation.

Red made a soft noise, a cross between a growl and a yawn. Dance stiffened against Lust, his face turning a bright blue.

"welcome home, sweetheart," Red murmured, his one hand alighting on Lust's legs still in his lap. Lust shifted, reaching out to grip onto Red's collar for leverage to pull himself up. The collar surged and bit at him, but Lust didn't pay it any mind. Red, ever the helpful one, wrapped an arm around Lust and pulled him more fully into Red's lap, letting Lust tug him into a proper kiss of his own. Red smirked into it, his eyelight going fuzzy at the edges.

Dance's expression, when Lust again turned to pay attention to him, was one of vicious jealousy and bitterness, eyelights dark and brows turned down, jaw clenched tight.

Lust clutched tighter to the collar, willing himself not to flinch, not to show how much it hurt to see Dance look at him like that. He must not have done a very good job, because Dance's eyelights flickered back into his sockets small and sharp. He reached out, hugging Lust and hiding in his shoulder again, and Lust knew that he hadn't been directing those feelings at _him_. He looked back up at Red, who's socket had gone darker, his usually large, bright eyelight shrunken and dim with barely concealed disquiet.

The collar in Lust's hand continued to pulse, sharp, cold jolts of aggressive magic slicing through his fingers, demanding he retreat- and it hit him. _Dance couldn't just ignore that._ Dance couldn't just grab hold and keep on going like the collar was some inconvenient fly. Most monsters couldn't, probably; Lust was just the right combination of persistent and durable.

Lust let go of the collar with a soft groan of his own, leaning back into Dance and nuzzling. He should have known that the collar would be an issue. He had just assumed that since Dance hadn't ever had a problem with Lust's collar-

_Why didn't Dance have a problem with Lust's collar..?_

A question for another time. Now, now Dance was reminding him that Lust was in need of a little help.

Red agreed to start dinner while Dance assisted Lust with his little problem. Lust didn't know how he got so lucky.

* * *

Red had rather good hearing. The walls of the apartment weren't particularly thick. He had a pretty good idea of exactly what was going on in the bedroom. He might have gotten distracted a few times, and nearly cut a finger off while chopping the vegetables. He might have needed to stick his head in the freezer for a few moments because _it was getting a little too hot in there, the stove wasn't even on yet, what the hell?!_

Red couldn't even tell what was affecting him harder, Lust's breathy, desperate, mewling cries, or Dance's low, muffled, commanding cadences.

Or maybe it was how Dance was most certainly holding on to Lust's collar, and there was _absolutely no misinterpreting his intentions._ It wasn't the first time (Dance had a nasty habit of it, actually, but Red hadn't ever been right in the next room before).

It didn't help that Dance had neglected to return his coat before going in there.

_Was he still wearing it now?!?!_

Red made a return trip to the freezer, pretending that he didn't see the crimson light from his face glittering on the ice that clung to the inner wall. _What he wouldn't give for a bottle of scotch. Or some bourbon. Or even that cheep piss beer that Boss had a taste for. Anything, literally anything, to distract him from the noises in the other room._

He almost regretted not joining the guys for a smoke. Almost. Just spending a day with Dance where his mercurial nature didn't drive the both of them into a FIGHT had been worth a lot more than he expected. Dance was insightful, and had fantastic taste in movies. He fit quite nicely under Red's arm too.

Red went back to cooking again, deciding he needed to finally invest in some goddamn headphones. The good, noise cancelling kind. If this was gonna be a regular thing, then he would need them in order not to dust himself.

It took Red a lot longer than it usually would have to throw together dinner.

By the time Lust and Dance stumbled out into the livingroom, freshly showered and in a new change of clothes (although Dance was still wearing Red's coat), the food was cool enough that Red thought it best to reheat.

They sat together on the couch, and Red didn't think about what his coat had just born witness to. He didn't think about the fact that some of the sweat in the inner lining was from Dance, that his coat would likely smell faintly of the ocean. He didn't think about how Dance kept side-eyeing him over Lust's shoulder, or the dreamy, blissed out expression on Lust's face as he ate mechanically and then proceeded to snuggle between them.

He just thought about the weight in his pocket, of the box, and the little project secured safely inside. He thought about how good it felt to have both of his pets safe, and fed, and content.

He thought about how badly he needed a drink.

* * *

The next week crawled by. The more time that passed, the more he despised the collar that sat around Red's throat. Nothing he tried seemed to work, he just couldn't get close to it.

Friday night, Red had gotten a series of text messages. Given the look on his face (and the strange combination of _fondness_ and _annoyance_ that each text ushered) Dance could only assume it was Red's friends that Dance did not like.

Red was blowing them off, Dance could tell, but Lust (sweet, caring, forgiving Lust) asked what it was about. Red told them that his friends wanted him to join them saturday for some fun at the beach.

And Lust wanted to go.

Dance wasn't about to be the one to tell him no.

So there he was on saturday, packing a small duffle to go on a beach date with his datemates that he knew was going to suck, because a couple of assholes were also invited. Dance wasn't in the best mode about the whole thing.

"SANS??" Papyrus called from somewhere else in the apartment. "DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT??"

Dance zipped his duffle, slinging it over his shoulder and slinking into the livingroom. "yeah? i'm about to go out, but..."

"OH, WONDERFUL, SO AM I. HENCE MY REQUEST. I LENT MY CAR TO UNDYNE LAST NIGHT AND SHE HAS YET TO RETURN IT. WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY GIVING ME A LIFT WITH YOUR SPACE TIME JAPERY?? MY PLANS WERE TO DRIVE, AND I DO NOT MIND WALKING, BUT I WILL BE LATE GETTING THERE IF I DO SO." Papyrus didn't look it, but Dance could feel he was sincerely _apologetic_ about even asking. He knew how much his brother hated being late going anywhere. "I SHOULD BE ABLE TO WALK HOME AFTERWARDS, SO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A RETURN TRIP!!"

Dance chuckled. "nah. i don't mind." he held his hand out. "where you headed?"

"THE BEACH!!!"

"fuck."

"LANGUAGE!" Papyrus took hold of Dance's hand.

Dance took a deep breath, quickly texting Lust that he would meet the two of them there (apparently).

"uh, bro?" Dance hummed as he pulled them both through a shortcut. "i was gonna hang at the beach with, uh-"

"WITH YOUR SLIME EXCHANGING DATEMATES??"

"cut it out with the slime quips!!"

"CUT IT OUT WITH THE SLIME SWAPPING!!!"

"ugh, yeah, with them. at the beach. so. ya don't mind... uh... _not_ playing third- fourth- unnecessary wheel do ya?"

Papyrus snorted. "I WILL BE TOO BUSY TRYING TO SALVAGE MY OWN BAD DATE TO HAVE TIME TO MEDDLE IN YOURS. BUT IF I COME OVER SAYING 'BROTHER' A LOT AND HINT STRONGLY THAT YOU ARE SICK AND NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION, KNOW THIS IS NOT ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO GET YOU TO SEE DR ALPHYS, BUT A CLEVER JAPE ON MY PART TO EXCUSE MYSELF FROM THE REST OF THE EVENING."

"so i'm your emergency out plan? got it." Dance shifted the duffle a bit on his shoulder, walking with his brother out of the shadow of an alley and out towards the sunny beach, looming, disparagingly crowded. Another reason he hadn't wanted to come. The emotional 'noise' was already giving him a headache. "who is this date with, anyway? not the human again, is it?"

"OF COURSE NOT!! WE ARE COMPLETELY PLATONIC!! NO I MET THIS UNSEEMLY FELLOW AT THE DISCOTECH-"

"dance club-"

"DISCOTECH, LAST WEEK. FRIDAY. THE DAY BEFORE I MET YOUR DATEMATES. I WAS HAVING QUITE A LOT OF FUN, LETTING LOOSE, ENJOYING AN ORANGE JUICE BECAUSE I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC-"

"papyrus-"

"SORRY, SORRY, I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN DOING BETTER-"

"oh my god-"

"AND THESE TWO SMELLY FELLOWS START TRYING TO DANCE ON A TABLE. I BELIEVE THEY WERE INCREDIBLY INEBRIATED. AND I TURN AND TRY TO GIVE THEM A FEW POINTERS, BUT THEN, AGAIN, THEY ARE QUITE SLOSHED-"

"bro-"

"BLOTTO!!"

Dance just started snickering by this point.

"UTTERLY BACCHIC!!"

Dance's laughter became full blown cackling, and he had to hug himself to keep his bones from rattling off in all directions (or so it felt like).

Papyrus beamed, _proud_ of himself for making his brother laugh. "SO I GO OVER TO OFFER MY ASSISTANCE, TO TRY AND IMPROVE THEIR BIBULOUS BUMBLING, BUT THEY IGNORE MY ATTEMPTS TO GET THEIR ATTENTION, AND THEN THIS THIRD FELLOW, THIS THIRD FELLOW WHOM I CAN ONLY ASSUME IS THEIR KEEPER, AS HE IS THE ONLY ONE OF THE THREE NOT SICKENINGLY SQUIFFY-"

"pffft, _squiffy-!_ "

"TIDDLY!! SNOCKERED!!"

Dance knew he looked like an idiot, but there was something unfairly hilarious about his brother's seemingly endless euphemisms for 'drunk' and he could _not_ stop laughing. "h-half- _seas_ -over??"

"KEEP YOUR AWFUL PUNS OUT OF MY STORY!!" Papyrus continued to navigate the crowds, sometimes weaving around the many patrons, sometimes parting the crowd with his sheer presence, leading Dance with a hand on his shoulder. "BUT YES. SO THIS FELLOW IS THE ONLY ONE OF THE GROUP AT HIS TABLE NOT OVERLY FREAKISHLY FUDDLED AND HE TELLS ME, WHILE STONE COLD SOBER, TO-" and it is at this point that Papyrus pitched his voice just that little bit higher, emphasizing the accuracy of his recitation. "'GO RECRUIT FOR YOUR CIRCUS ELSEWHERE. THESE CLOWNS ARE MINE.' AND I AM NOT CERTAIN IF THE INSULT WAS TO MYSELF OR HIS COMPANIONS BUT THAT WAS NOT THE MOST UNUSUAL PART. THE UNUSUAL PART WAS THAT THIS FELLOW WAS COMPLETELY EMPTY. HE WAS NOT HAVING FUN AT ALL. OR THE OPPOSITE OF FUN FOR THAT MATTER. IT WAS QUITE UNUSUAL. AND SO I TOLD HIM, I TOLD HIM, I SAID, 'IF I WERE RECRUITING FOR A CIRCUS I WOULD BE OFFERING THE JOB OF TERRIFYING ANIMAL, NOT CLOWN. CLOWNS ARE FUNNY. AND HAVE GRACE AND MANNERS.'"

"you did not."

"I DID!!"

"bro."

"AND THEN HE GAVE ME A LOOK AND I ALMOST THOUGHT I FELT ANGER FROM HIM!! BUT THEN IT WAS GONE. HIS CROCKED COMPANIONS THOUGHT I WAS WITTY THOUGH!! ALTHOUGH IN HIND SIGHT IT IS NO GREAT FEAT TO MAKE DRUNKARDS LAUGH."

Papyrus found an empty patch of sand, not too far from the water but also not too close. Dance took the hint and sat down, pulling out his towel as he kept listening.

"AND THEN THE FELLOW SAID, 'YOU HAVE SOME NERVE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT.' AND I SAID 'I DO NOT HAVE ANY NERVES, I AM A SKELETON.' AND THEN ONE OF THE SOZZLED FELLOWS WENT, 'HE'S GOT YOU THERE, BRO' AND THE SOBER FELLOW GLARED AT HIM LIKE HE DID SOMETHING WRONG BUT THE PLASTERED FELLOW ONLY SNICKERED. AND THEN THE SOBER FELLOW SAID, 'GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE WITH YOUR IDIOCY. AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE ENOUGH NONSENSE TO DEAL WITH.' AND THE OTHER TIPSY FELLOW SAID, 'YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH US IF YOU WOULD JUST LOOSEN UP AND HAVE FUN!' AND THE OTHER OTHER DRUNKARD SAID 'BUT MY BRO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN' AND THEN THE SOBER FELLOW SNAPPED 'YES I VERY WELL DO KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN!!'"

"why do i get the feeling you poked the bear?" Dance asked, laying back on his towel.

"SHUSH YOU!! WHERE WAS I?? OH YES!! AND THEN I SAID 'I VERY MUCH DOUBT IT, GIVEN THAT HAVING FUN IMPLIES YOU ENJOY SOMETHING, AND YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF ENJOYING ANYTHING!!' BECAUSE YOU SEE HE COULD NOT FEEL ANYTHING AND SO OF COURSE COULD NOT ENJOY THINGS!!! AND APPARENTLY HEARING THE TRUTH MAKES THIS FELLOW RATHER ANGRY, WHICH IN TURNED PROVED ME WRONG, WHICH OF COURSE ALSO PROVED ME RIGHT BECAUSE I AM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT ANYONE CAN DO BETTER IF THEY TRY, BUT I DIGRESS. HE SNAPPED AT ME. HE SAID, 'I'LL SHOW YOU INCAPABLE'! AND THEN GRABBED MY ARM RATHER HARSHLY AND DRAGGED ME BACK TO THE DANCE FLOOR AND-" Dance was certain he felt a flicker of something close to _delight_ at the memory his brother had fumbled over. "...WELL, I AM NOT TOO PROUD TO ADMIT HE WAS RATHER TALENTED AT BALLROOM."

"so you asked him out?"

"OF COURSE NOT!! THEN HE STOMPED BACK TO HIS BROTHER AND HIS FRIEND WHO HAD STARTED CANOODLING WITH EACH OTHER AND HE SAID 'QUIT EMBARRASSING YOURSELF!!' AND THEN ONE OF THE SOUSED FELLOWS SAID, 'YOU ONLY THINK THAT BECAUSE YOU CANNOT GET A DATE.' AND THEN THE SOBER FELLOW SAID, 'I CAN DAMN WELL GET A DATE YOU INSUFFERABLE BOOZEHOUND!!' AND THEN I SAID 'LANGUAGE!' AND THEN-"

Dance cackled.

"AND THEN HE TURNED TO ME AND WENT, 'YOU. ME. NEXT WEEK. TWELVE O'CLOCK. THE BEACH. BE THERE.' AND I, NEVER ONE TO TURN DOWN A CHANCE TO PERFORM CHARITY, GRACIOUSLY AGREED."

Dance's brother was a pretentious, prideful bastard, and Dance loved him. He was the coolest. Even if he did drive Dance absolutely up the wall sometimes. "bro, its like 11 now. your date isn't until noon. why-"

"BECAUSE IT IS A BEACH DATE. SO OF COURSE I MUST ARRIVE EARLY TO SECURE A SUITABLE LOCATION!!"

Dance then felt the brush of a familiar, caring warmth against his SOUL, the sensation of a profound love that he had come to associate with his datemate. Lust was nearby now. Dance quickly pulled out his phone, texting him that he had a spot near the water. Lust texted back that they were on there way with Red's friends.

Dance scowled at the reminder of those two. He trusted Red to keep Lust safe from them (and wasn't that a stark change from a few months ago, Dance _trusting_ Red), but that didn't mean he liked the idea of that smarmy bastard in the orange hoodie being anywhere near _his boyfriend_. A small part of him didn't trust them near Red either, not after the bits of the conversation he'd overheard from phonecalls.

But this was happening, because Dance didn't have a reason to say no other than his egregiously misplaced jealousy. So he would suck it up. And keep an eye on them.

_And if anyone even looks at his boyfriends wrong, they were gonna have a bad time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok guys Red just made the cat activation noise in this chapter and _Dance liked it_
> 
> i love how Lust is on cloud goddamn nine, thinking its gonna be sunshine and butterflies and three-ways, then comes home and is like 'fuck me' in more ways than one because these are still my dumpster fire boys and they have issues
> 
> i love how suave and dance bro scenes turn into big ass ugly dialogue scenes that i think are viscerally hilarious but i bet arent all that fun to read for you guys
> 
> jealous boyfriend dance activate. now with twice the jealousy.

**Author's Note:**

> [FIND ME ON TUMBLR](https://kamari333.tumblr.com) if you want

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Indulgence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16537925) by [Deku_Lily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deku_Lily/pseuds/Deku_Lily)
  * [Bittersweet Longing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15891534) by [Deku_Lily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deku_Lily/pseuds/Deku_Lily)




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